The imperial troop heading north left the capital, and a few days later, they arrived near Fucheng in the evening.
Fucheng is an important city connecting Hexi and Shangjing. After passing Fucheng and going a hundred miles forward, you will pass through the West Pass, which means you have left the Central Plains and are truly on the road to Hexi.
An official accompanying the emperor reported that the Fucheng magistrate had learned that the emperor would be passing through here and had prepared a place for him to stay long ago. At this moment, he was leading all the officials and people in the city, kneeling on the side of the road ahead to greet him, respectfully inviting His Majesty to enter the city and spend the night.
Xie Changgeng sat on the horse. He turned his head and looked in the direction of the city for a long time, as if he was in a trance, without any reaction.
The people accompanying him followed his gaze and looked over there.
It was a clear evening in early autumn, with the sky full of crimson clouds. The city in front of us, ready to welcome the emperor, was within sight. From here, the shadow of the city was like a long dragon crawling on the horizon, winding east and west in the golden sunset, which was spectacular.
Everyone followed the emperor and turned to look, waiting with bated breath.
After a long while, the emperor slowly turned his head and said, "There are so many people and horses, there is no need to disturb the people, let them all go back. We can set up camp at night."
It was almost sunset, and the distance from here to Xiguan was still a hundred miles. It would be impossible to arrive before dark. If they continued to move forward, the emperor would have to sleep in the wild with the soldiers tonight.
But since he had said so himself, no one dared to refute him and they all agreed in unison.
The team continued to move forward, and after dark, they camped in a flat field beside the road.
Under the deep blue night sky, there were military tents and campfires. As the night deepened, the bonfires went out one after another. The soldiers who had been marching during the day had already fallen asleep.
In the middle of the camp, in the tent, the lights were still on. Xie Changgeng said to the generals in front of him, "After we pass the customs tomorrow morning, I will lead a team of soldiers and set off first. You will lead the troops behind and arrive as soon as possible."
The army was on the move, and there were many obstacles. A hundred miles a day was almost the limit. In addition, they had been inside the pass for the past few days, and there were many cities along the way. Every time they passed a place, local officials led the people to welcome the emperor on the roadside, just like today, which inevitably delayed the journey. The emperor had won the world on horseback before, and he personally faced the enemy in every battle. Now that he was concerned about Hexi, it was natural for him to ride lightly and arrive earlier after leaving the West Pass.
After the generals finished their duties, they bowed and left. The eunuch Cao Jin, who had been waiting outside, came in and brought the medicine that had just been boiled.
The emperor drank it. The eunuch bowed and said, "It's late, Your Majesty, you should rest. The imperial physician always says that Your Majesty needs more rest so that your body can recover soon."
"I think what the imperial physician said is also what the queen meant." He glanced at the book that the emperor had just picked up and said in a low voice.
The emperor paused and slowly put down the book.
The eunuch showed a look of delight and immediately called someone in to bring water and towels.
The lights in the imperial tent went out, and Xie Changgeng lay on his back on the couch. He closed his eyes, and all he could see was the darkness of the night. However, in his mind, the image of the city he passed by in the evening still floated in his mind.
The shadow of the city looked hazy in the light of setting sun, like an old dream, but he knew in his heart that this was not an old dream, but a real existence.
There was once a woman who fell into the abyss of fate because of this city on the way west.
She was at the bottom of the abyss, and her salvation depended on the thought of her husband.
However, that man betrayed her in the end.
He didn't dare, nor could he bear to imagine, how, during the day-to-day waiting, the fire of hope in her heart had been cooled down bit by bit, until it was completely extinguished and turned into ashes.
What was going on in her mind at the moment she decided to end her life
He knew that she hated him. But no matter how much she hated him, it was right. Not only her, but he himself also hated him deeply.
He had once wanted such a beautiful woman but was unable to get her. How could that man have the heart to treat her like that
Xie Changgeng's heart clenched tightly. He felt his internal organs begin to ache.
At this time, the sound of footsteps was heard outside the big tent.
"Your Majesty! The Queen is here!" Cao Jin's voice reached his ears.
Xie Changgeng suddenly opened his eyes.
The night was still dark before his eyes. At first he thought he had misheard, but soon the voice was repeated.
Xie Changgeng jumped up without even having time to turn on the light. He took a few steps down and tore open the tent door.
He saw a slender figure of a woman in a cloak standing in front of the tent. She stood quietly under the moonlight, as if she had come here on the moonlit night. When she saw him, she raised her hand and took off her hood, revealing a face as bright as the moon.
It was her. It was really her.
She took a step, walked towards him, came in front of him, nodded to him, and said softly: "Come in, I have something to ask you."
Xie Changgeng was stunned, completely unresponsive, except for his heart, which was beating so fast that it almost jumped out of his chest. He finally reacted and hastily took a step back to make way for her, then turned around and went to the table to light the lamp for her.
His hands were a little stiff and not very responsive. After trying several times, he finally managed to light the fire.
The lights dispelled the darkness and the big tent became bright.
Xie Changgeng closed his eyes and took a long breath.
He opened his eyes, turned around, and asked her standing at the door of the tent: "What's the matter?"
His voice was low, his usual calmness restored.
"If you are tired, take a rest first," he looked at her tired face, "I will ask someone to serve you..."
Mu Fulan walked towards him and stopped in front of him.
"Your Majesty, why did you make Xier the crown prince?" she asked, looking into his eyes.
Xie Changgeng seemed stunned, glanced at her quickly, and said vaguely: "Didn't I tell you before? Why are you asking this again?"
"Xie Changgeng, you are lying. You told me that you were injured, but I have read all the records of your injuries in the past few years and can't find any connection. I also asked Liang Tuan, and he said that you had been to the Huguo Temple and spent a night there. Your behavior at that time seemed extremely strange to him, and he still remembers it vividly."
"I want to ask you, do you already know about what happened in the past?" she asked word by word.
The air around seemed to freeze suddenly.
Xie Changgeng remained motionless and silent, his expression gradually changing color.
After a long while, he turned his head away, avoiding her gaze, and said softly: "Don't let your imagination run wild..."
Mu Fulan looked at him, her eyes slowly turning red. After a while, she spoke again, her voice trembling slightly.
She said, "Xie Changgeng, I can see that you are also having a hard time. I originally thought that since you know, why don't we be frank and make things clear. This life is still long, and I don't want you and I to torture each other like this until we die of old age. I really don't know why you won't admit it."
"I followed you all the way from the capital to here, not to listen to you lie to me. But if you really don't want to mention it, or if I'm just overthinking it, then forget it. Just pretend I didn't say anything just now, and I'll go back now."
She said, and turned to leave.
Xie Changgeng stared at her back as she turned away. When she raised her hand to open the curtain, he followed her and grabbed her wrist from behind.
"It is my fault."
An extremely suppressed hoarse voice sounded from behind her.
Mu Fulan stopped, turned her head, and met the man's dark eyes.
"You're right. I remember everything."
"I dare not admit it in front of you. I am afraid that if I admit it, I will completely lose the qualification to stand in front of you. Don't get me wrong, I am not asking for your forgiveness. Whenever I think of how I treated you in the past, I never thought that I could get your forgiveness. Don't say you hate me. Even if you kill me, I won't complain. I know that if possible, you never want to see me again. And now, the reason why I am still in front of you is not to atone for my sins or to seek peace of mind. I will never forgive myself in my life."
"I just want to do more for you and make it up to you as much as I can. Please don't refuse. This is all I want..."
Mu Fulan looked at him without saying a word.
He loosened his grip on her wrist.
"I knew it... Once you knew it, you would hate me even more and despise me even more..."
An extremely ugly and bitter smile appeared on his face, and his voice stopped abruptly.
Mu Fulan stared at him for a moment and shook her head.
"Xie Changgeng, are you atonement?"
she says.
"I'm grateful that you're finally willing to tell me what's really on your mind. In return for your honesty, I might as well tell you what's on my mind. This is why I specifically followed you here."
"Everyone has difficulties in life. Expecting too much from others and demanding too much from others will become the source of one's own suffering. I finally understood this truth after I died once. Since God has given me a chance to start over, what's the point of hating you? From the beginning, I never thought of taking revenge on you, let alone asking you to make amends. I am no longer the person I used to be, and in this life, you are no longer the Xie Changgeng you used to be. Even if you are, I want to tell you that you don't have to continue to bear the guilt, and you don't have to torture yourself like this."
"Xie Changgeng, if you let yourself go, it will be like letting me go, and it will make me feel at ease. Do you understand this principle?"
Xie Changgeng seemed stunned.
He stared at her without blinking, his whole body seemed petrified.
Mu Fulan smiled.
"This is what I want to say to you. I have to leave in a hurry, so I can't stay for long. I will go back to Shangjing now. Take care and come back soon."
She nodded at him, put her cloak and hood back on to cover her head and face, turned around, opened the tent door, and walked away with her head down.
The eunuch was waiting outside the imperial tent at a distance. When he saw Mu Fulan coming out, he hurried to meet her. He was shocked to see that she was going back to the capital overnight. He turned around and saw that the emperor had not come out yet. He did not dare to ask more questions, so he had to accompany her out of the barracks, kneeling to see her off. He watched her get on the carriage, and under the support of a line of guards in front and behind, she turned around quietly and headed towards the capital as she had come.
The eunuch watched the queen and her entourage disappear into the moonlit night, feeling puzzled. He stood there for a moment, shook his head, turned around and was about to go in when he suddenly saw a man riding out of the camp gate. The soldiers who were on guard nearby knelt down one after another.
The eunuch recognized that the man was the emperor and knelt again. Before he raised his head, the man and the horse had passed by him like a gust of night wind.
Mu Fulan leaned back in the carriage with her eyes closed, in a trance. Suddenly, she felt the carriage gradually slowing down and finally stopped.
She opened her eyes and was about to ask a question when the carriage door opened.
With the light from the palace lantern hanging on the roof, she saw a man coming up.
Xie Changgeng actually caught up with him.
He entered the carriage, stared at her, and slowly, half squatting and half kneeling, stopped in front of her skirt.
She was a little surprised. She pushed the window open a little and took a quick look outside. She saw that the people she was traveling with had moved away and were kneeling on the side of the road.
She had never seen Xie Changgeng like this before, and it made her feel extremely uncomfortable.
Her heartbeat quickened a little. She closed the car window, remained silent, quietly moved to the inside of the seat, and whispered, "Your Majesty, what are you doing..."
"Lan'er." Mu Fulan suddenly heard him calling her name softly.
"I know I am not qualified to call you that anymore, just like I am not qualified to tell you that I hope you can give me another chance to love you well and protect your happiness in this life. But I still said it..."
"When you came to see me just now, I actually didn't tell you the whole truth. I didn't dare to admit to you that I remembered the past because I still had a little hope. Even though I knew how I treated you in the past, I still didn't want you to leave me completely. I was afraid that if you knew, from then on, I would be a complete sinner in your eyes, and I would no longer have any chance."
Mu Fulan was stunned.
He seemed to be unable to control his emotions suddenly. He paused, took a breath, and continued, "When you came here, you probably didn't notice that there is a city not far from here. That place is Fucheng..."
Mu Fulan looked at him standing at her feet, and the blood in her body suddenly became hot, as if countless needles were piercing her skin.
"Lan'er, you once told me that your lover will only have you in his eyes and heart for the rest of his life. If he gets into trouble and needs you, you are willing to die for him. If you are in trouble, he will also do his best to treat you the same way."
"I came here to tell you that if time goes back, and if you are still captured by my enemies, and they ask me to exchange this city for you, even if you forgive me, I still won't agree. But I will definitely go to save you immediately and do my best. I will never let you wait day after day like before. Even if I can't save you in the end and die with you, I will not regret it. If I die, there will be others to take care of this world."
"Lan'er, I also want to tell you that if the worst possible scenario happens and you die in the end because of my incompetence, and I am still alive, I will definitely raise our son well and will never let you have the same regrets as before."
The lights in the carriage were dim and the corners of his eyes were red.
"Lan'er, you are the daughter of the King of Changsha, and I used to be a bandit in the eyes of others. When I was young, I was conceited and thought I was a hero, but I was trapped in a shallow shoal. Now I know that in terms of mind and temperament, I, Xie Changgeng, am not even worthy of carrying your shoes. It was the greatest blessing in my life to marry you."
Mu Fulan stared at the man kneeling in front of her, and suddenly, tears started to flow.
He raised his hand and wanted to wipe the tears rolling down her cheeks, but she turned her head away.
Xie Changgeng slowly withdrew his hand, staring at her profile that seemed unwilling to turn back to him, and said softly: "Lan'er, don't reject me right away, think about it again. Even if you really don't want to give me another chance, wait until I come back and tell me, okay?"