"No one in the whole family is willing to do anything, I will do everything! I have to take care of all of you, cook, take care of the whole family, and take care of Ah Jing. I will do everything, and I will not be free for a day. , I don’t have a day at ease, I don’t even have time to be sick when I’m sick, I can’t do anything without me…”
Chen Shengdi suddenly cried and shouted hysterically, her words were very messy, complaining about something.
These words seem to be old sayings, and some words that Lin Qianfei mentioned casually are serious. It can be seen that they are Chen Shengdi's daily complaints, and I don't know how many times I have said them.
Perhaps this is part of the real situation of this poor family. All the housework is on Chen Shengdi's hands, which has already overwhelmed her nerves.
At the same time, Lin Guowei's complexion turned darker, and he seemed to be much older in a blink of an eye. He sat slumped on the chair, very hesitant and confused.
Seeing the changes before and after the couple, Gu Jun, Wang Ke, Cao Yicong and others all knew in their hearts that they were the ones who were directly related to Lin Jing's disappearance.
Gu Jun's heart tightened suddenly, a bad prediction gradually proved to be true, and a tragic event gradually surfaced. He didn't even want to think about the truth, but some gloomy imaginary pictures surged in his mind, making him unclear whether it was imagination or illusion...
Brought to the deep mountains and wild forests and abandoned... Pushed off the cliff... Buried in a pit dug with a hoe...
He took a deep breath and said, "Aunt Chen, please calm down and tell us everything about that year."
"Make it clear, we will deal with it according to the situation." Wang Ke added a voice, and put more pressure on the two of them. His face with Chinese characters had the majesty cultivated through long-term interrogation, "If you don't make it clear, Lin Qianfei He and Lin Longxuan may need to cooperate with our investigation for a period of time, which will definitely affect their studies."
"We really don't know why Ah Jing disappeared!" Lin Guowei said anxiously, nervous and scared, but also a little angry, "It has nothing to do with Feifei and Long Xuan, they don't know anything, if you want to arrest us, arrest us and shoot us Just shoot us!"
The middle-aged man yelled loudly, slapped the coffee table angrily and had nowhere to vent, and there was a loud bang, resounding in the old and messy living room.
If it was another village man, Lin Guowei might be taken aback, but Gu Jun and the others stood still and didn't say much, just watched.
Gradually, Chen Shengdi didn't know whether to calm down or to sink down. She muttered words, but she didn't utter any words that could be heard clearly. Her red eyes flashed with complex expressions, as if she was looking at those old haired people on the opposite wall. Certificate of Merit Student Award.
"It's me..." She suddenly uttered tremblingly, "It's my mouth, it's all my fault... I shouldn't have said that to him... it's all my fault..."
Gu Jun frowned slightly, and looked at Wang Ke, and things seemed to be different from what they expected.
While Lin Guowei became stiff and silent again, Chen Shengdi told some unknown situations back then.
Three days before Lin Jing disappeared, Chen Shengdi scolded her son. The reason was that Lin Jing kicked other children's basketballs at the basketball court in front of the village. We got into a fight, and then a parent came to complain.
Lin Jing said that he was just standing there, trying to help kick the falling ball back. If he had hands, he would catch it and throw it back.
But the kids on the other side insisted that he was causing trouble, that his feet were dirty, that he was a monster...
Chen Shengdi didn't take her son's side, and scolded Lin Jing in front of the parent. After the parent left, she was still very angry and continued to criticize Lin Jing: "What are you doing on the basketball court all day? , you can’t play anymore, if you quarrel with others, if you cause trouble, you will get into trouble, and it’s enough to be annoying to wait on you, and you will cause trouble!”
In fact, in the past and in normal times, Chen Shengdi often complained and scolded her eldest son like this. She didn't understand, and she felt very bitter in her heart. She thought it was... nothing wrong.
"A Jing is also my son, and I raised him. It's not his fault that he doesn't have hands. I know how difficult it is for him. How can I really blame him..."
At this time, Chen Shengdi choked up the memories and said, but on that day, she also scolded a few vicious words, she had never scolded like that before, and she actually regretted it after she scolded at that time, but she was stubborn and refused to admit her mistake. regret but too late.
"I said... I should have been persuaded to throw you away when you were just born, so that I wouldn't drag myself down like this for the rest of my life..."
Hearing this, Gu Jun's heart sank uncontrollably and his breathing became heavier, as if he could feel Lin Jing's pain at that moment.
But he knew that he might never, ever really understand that feeling, even though his original family was not very good.
Chen Shengdi continued talking. Three days later, in the evening, when she returned home on a tricycle carrying two children and a few bunches of bananas, Ah Jing had disappeared. She said that she didn't lie about this part, and Lin Guowei didn't lie either. He was indeed out of town that afternoon, and he came back to join in looking for A Jing.
After searching for a few days, they couldn't find it...they didn't insist on looking for it any more.
But they were very sure that Ah Jing ran away from home by himself, and he should still be alive for a while later.
It may be rumored that the handless beggar child that someone from a neighboring village saw on the streets of Dongzhou city was him...
For this reason, the couple once went to the urban area of Dongzhou specifically, went to the rumored street, and watched the beggars on the street from a distance.
It's just that they didn't see their son, and they didn't go up to inquire carefully. Maybe his son wasn't there, or maybe they didn't touch him. After going there once, they never took any action to look for Lin Jing again. They just assumed that this son was no longer alive, that there was no such person...
They got a kind of relief, the family became less difficult, and the life of Qian Fei and Long Xuan became easier.
But for so many years, the two of them, the two of them, have never really let go of this missing handless eldest son...
Gu Jun, Wang Ke and others listened to this set of rhetoric, and did not judge for the time being. They watched Lin Guowei smoke a cheap cigarette stupidly, watched Chen Shengdi get up, and went to the master room connected to the living room. Jun and Cao Yicong followed and watched, only to see that Chen Shengdi took something out of an old-fashioned wedding suitcase on the bedside wardrobe.
"This piece of paper was left by Ah Jing... When I got home that day, the paper was on the coffee table..."
Chen Shengdi looked dazed, holding a small piece of crumpled white paper in his hand.
Gu Jun took the old paper, and saw a line of words written with a blue ballpoint pen on the paper. The handwriting was crooked and difficult, but he tried his best to control each stroke.
It was written by Lin Jing, but he didn't know how to write it.
[I'm gone, don't look for me, I'll kill myself when I live enough]