Xiao Tu, male, task worker, has been in the industry for many years, and his points... have been up and down.
System: [Listen, 1114 Small World is our last hope, take down my male god, and we can completely bid farewell to the danger of relegation. I know you don't want to attack the aborigines, and I don't want to take these crooked ways, but there is no other way, do you understand what I mean? This is your only chance to prove yourself!]
Xiao Tu: [Who said I don't want to attack? I'm serious every time, okay? ! But I just can’t solve it, what can I do? Maybe I'm just not attractive. My premonition this time is not very good either. The liar sent me a message before saying that he was watching the stars at night and counting his fingers. My mission is bad or bad.]
System: [You thought you and Ye... Cough, I haven't found out about the little things? Your little league really has no future, why can't you just listen to my advice? The mastermind has infinitely increased the difficulty of your task.]
Not wanting to listen to the system's nonsense anymore, Xiao Tu clicked Random Time Travel.
Then, Xiao Tu regretted it so much that his liver turned green. He moved his furry front paws, and finally understood what it means to increase the difficulty. The mastermind wanted to kill him: [Transformed into a rabbit, why are you messing with the male god Lu? Has the main brain been damaged by a virus invasion recently? Although I have accepted the fate of being a rabbit master, I can't accept the real rabbit no matter what!]
Lord Rabbit is an old saying for men who are engaged in the service industry. From Xiao Tu's self-deprecating self-proclaim, it is enough to see that he is dissatisfied with being forced to attack others.
The system is also very desperate, and it has to encourage its host according to the rhetoric given by the mastermind: [Shut up, what do you know? Do you know how many missions there are to conquer Lu Nanshen? What kind of tricks has he not seen? But has my male god ever been tempted? No! zero! You are not novel, how can you win? How do you stand out among thousands of troops?]
Xiao Tu moved the tail behind his buttocks: [But this is too novel, right? Unless your male god is a perverted Japanese dog, it is impossible for him to like me, just give up.]
Although Xiao Tu tried to find reasons to shirk the strategy in every previous mission, but this time he was serious.
System: [How do you know if you haven't tried it? The rabbit ears and rabbit tail are also cute. Come on, pretend to be cute, I don't have enough energy. I can only help you get here, remember my male god is called Lu...]
Just like in the movie, at the critical moment, the system just cut off the sound. The increased difficulty of the main brain naturally includes not only dressing as an animal, but also acting as a cheat without a system.
However, Xiao Tu didn't think it mattered, even without the system, he didn't have to endure the other party urging him to complete the task honestly like his mother.
That's why Xiao Tu failed to hear the most crucial sentence. Now it is not the male god of the system who leads him home, but the younger brother of the male god.
But, because both of them are surnamed Lu, and because Xiao Tu didn't listen carefully, so...cough. If the younger brother of the Lu family had been smarter, he would have discovered that a rabbit had been trying to seduce him recently. Well, no matter how smart a person is, it is impossible to guess this step, not to mention that the rabbit is not distracted by seduction, and it is obvious that it does not work hard.
Xiao Tu was won by Lu Jianjian from his classmate, and he had lost a purebred Samoyed earlier.
Xiao Tu: This male god Lu is not a fool, is he? Can't you tell which one is more expensive? Lose so much money and get a rabbit back
Cough, no matter what, one person and one rabbit started their life of flying around like this.
Living with Lu Jianjian for less than a day is enough for Xiao Tu to realize one thing, whether he can attack or not is the second priority, and whether he can survive is the biggest problem.
This male god who has no idea why the system thinks he is handsome is really not suitable for keeping pets.
For example, Lu Jianjian was probably deeply poisoned by the nursery rhyme "Little white rabbit, so cute, loves to eat radishes and vegetables".
But God knows that Xiao Tu is still a baby rabbit less than three months old at this moment, eating these vegetables is simply wishing that he would die early. It will be poisoned by VC, it will be poisoned! QAQ young rabbits can only eat the combination of young rabbit food + clover grass + timothy grass, just click on Baidu, and you can know the common sense in Zhihu! ! !
Xiao Tu sent out a cry from the heart, trying to hope that he could use the window of his soul (eyes) to achieve cross-species communication with the owner without language.
Lu Jianjian looked at the pet rabbit for a long time on the sofa, and suddenly realized: "Do you think it's not fresh? Then let's go to the farmhouse to eat the freshest!"
Xiao Tu: "..." You can't eat anything with dew, you idiot!
The main pet's first communication was a complete failure.
Lu Jianjian himself didn't have the self-consciousness to seek medical advice online for nothing, he just kept his rabbits as before.
Xiao Tu's ability is Immortality, an ability that can blow up the sky but is useless for completing the task. Until this day, in the hands of Lu Jianjian, he finally realized the painstaking efforts of the system to give him this ability.
Being fed to death again and again, and coming back to life with strength again and again... The songs and tears are enough to write a book.
But this is just the beginning of the nightmare.
In the beginning, Lu Jianjian used the dog bowl to feed Xiao Tu water, but then I heard from somewhere that rabbits cannot drink water, otherwise their jaws will rot easily. So he decided not to feed Xiao Tu any more water, and strictly guarded against it, which was particularly severe.
Xiaotu: ...
It is true that rabbits can absorb water from fruits, and it is true that drinking water from a basin can easily rot their jaws, but that does not mean that rabbits really do not need to drink water!
Dare to ask what kind of creature on this earth can survive without drinking water
Rabbits have special ball water bottles, thank you! Is it difficult to buy one at X
So, after gradually adapting to the food crisis, Xiao Tu lived a life of being thirsty and dying of thirst.
This male god Lu is here to beat him, right? Knowing that he is here to attack him, so deliberately torture him in advance? Brother, think twice, I don't want to attack you, they are all forced to do nothing, why bother criticizing QAQ and begging to let them go.
Communication again and again, failure again and again. This not only proves that "Lu male god" does not know how to keep pets, but also proves that the so-called owner can understand the meaning of pets, which is pure nonsense. At least Xiao Tu didn't see any tacit understanding between him and Lu Jianjian, and they often talked with each other.
He wanted A, and Lu Jianjian forced him a bunch of B, and he wanted to hide Lu Jianjian away, but Lu Jianjian thought it was pet depression, and wanted to hug him to sleep together.
Then, he was suffocated by the quilt again, revived, and the cycle repeated.
— This kind of pet killer should revoke his right to keep pets for the rest of his life!
…
On weekends, Lu Jianyan went back to his parents' house for dinner as usual, chatted about work, the little princess who was waiting in the next building, and finally talked about Yao Wuzai's recovery. After saying everything that could be said, everyone calmed down again, doing what they should do, without any embarrassment, this is family.
But when Lu Jianyan suddenly raised his head from the phone, he still felt that the house was too quiet, and he couldn't tell the difference, but he felt that it was different from the past.
Lu's father has recently acquired a new hobby of growing flowers. Hundreds of thousands of orchids and worthless weeds are piled up together, and it is silly to tell them apart; Lu's mother has also expanded her social circle and is chatting with friends through WeChat videos Discussing where to go next week... But inexplicably, there is still a kind of boundless loneliness rushing to my heart.
A not-so-scientific statistic shows that empty-nesters who are prone to develop new hobbies are often the loneliest group of people.
The Lu family seemed to suddenly become empty and big. Looking at Father Lu who was no longer unattainable, and Mother Lu who no longer seemed omnipotent, Lu Jianyan couldn't express his feelings at that moment.
It's sour and astringent, just like the feeling when you come home from vacation in your first year of college and see only your parents at home.
There used to be three children living here, and the fighting strength of the noisy fight was about a hundred ducks. Either the older sister ate the creme brulee hidden by the younger brother, or the two younger brothers joined hands and tore the lace on the older sister's skirt. Sometimes it is the youngest son who comes to complain crying, and the elder sister and elder brother play together, but they always leave him alone.
Lu's father and Lu's mother have to deal with endless group work while coaxing their children patiently, 24 hours a day, work and family fill their lives.
Loud but sweet.
As a result, I don't know when, the number of children in the family is getting fewer and fewer, the work is getting lighter, and the parents are no longer so busy, but they suddenly don't know what to do.
Lu Jianyan thought that as the eldest son of the family, he had a great responsibility, so he decided to call his sister in private: "Hurry up and have a child with Wang Ziqi, Wang Daeqi, Wang Yeqi, whoever you want, and give birth to your parents! "
Sister Lu was busy with a new project in Europe recently, she was jet-lagged, she just fell asleep when she picked up Lu Jianyan's call, her mind was muddled, but her reaction to shirk responsibility was quick: "Why didn't you give birth to your parents? Raising? If the holographic online game is released recently, your brother-in-law is so busy, how can he have time to take care of the child? Can you be considerate?"
To put it simply, in Sister Lu's perception, there is no option for her to bring up her own child. Regardless of whether Wang Ziqi was the penniless dodder flower that had to be raised by her in the past, or the current figure in power in the Wang family, Sister Lu's attitude has not changed.
She is on the outside, and the man is on the inside. Of course, she is not so feminist, and she will not completely object to her lover being ambitious or even considerate.
Lu Jianyan: "..." Are the men and women of the subject in this sentence a bit reversed
It is impossible to create a child to make parents happy in the short term, or they can only do it themselves. Lu Jianyan first stated: "I am sick."
It's not that he can't bear it, but that something happened to him after he endured it, and it will still make his parents sad in the end.
"I'm also very busy." Sister Lu is really busy, she's not just making excuses, as you can imagine from the state of Lu's father and Lu's mother back then, "Besides, I haven't lived in the half-mountain villa very much in the early years. Over there, I have always regarded the office as my home, just like my parents when they were young, didn't my grandparents and maternal grandparents say nothing?"
Their mother was also the only daughter of the direct line of the Lu family. However, it is probably because of this experience that Mother Lu is determined to have more children, and let the children perform their duties to prevent loneliness.
Both the eldest daughter and the eldest son will inherit the family business, so what about the youngest
That's right, where is Lu Jianjian? Is he going to heaven? Today, it's summer vacation, why don't you rush home to entertain your relatives in colorful clothes, cough, no, it's Cheng Huan's knee. What are you doing wandering outside all day? !
The eldest sister and elder brother pointed the finger at the youngest brother in unison. In this regard, they always have a particularly tacit understanding and cooperation. Just like brother Lu complained when he was a child, his brother and sister always bullied him together.
Calling Lu Jianjian couldn't get through, it was obvious that he was hiding at home.
Looking at the final report card that was sent before others, Lu Jianyan said that the case had been solved. That successful college entrance examination seemed to have used up all the strength of Brother Lu's life. He probably returned everything he had learned to the teacher before the summer vacation. Now after the freshman year, only Lu Jianjian, who is already a useless person, takes "Long live the pass" as his goal in all homework, and his grades are very stable, and the people who watch it are furious.
After Lu Jianyan went home and talked to Yao Wuzai, Concubine Yaojian volunteered to help His Majesty Lu solve his worries.
"Are you really okay by yourself?" Lu Jianyan was more worried about the health of his good friend Yao Wuzai than his younger brother being punished, "Don't look at him like that, he has learned Sanda."
"With Gundam and Wuyi here, there must be no problem."
Lu Jianyan: Why do I inexplicably feel that Wuyi actually has the same status as walking aids
Yao Wuzai seemed to be able to see through Lu Jianyan at a glance: "He should be satisfied, I didn't even mention Lou Waiting."
Lu Jianyan: "..." Lou Xiaopang is my childhood friend, thank you!
No matter what, it is always good if someone is willing to help educate the younger brother. Lu Jianyan was relatively relieved that the medicine was safe. If it is said that the best candidate to deal with a secondary illness, it must be another snake-spirited illness.
Lu Jianyan had just been transferred back to the head office recently. Although he said he didn't want to work, he still wanted to work hard to be perfect. In his busy schedule, he really didn't have time to fight wits and courage with his younger brother.
Yao Wuzang's execution ability is very high. As soon as Lu Jianyan went to the company on Monday, he took people straight to Lu Jianjian's school district room near B University.
There must be no new houses in this area, but the price is extremely high. The Lu family also found a way to buy two houses opposite each other through their connections, and gave them to Lu Jianjian after getting through. The environment of the community is very good, and the residents are all scholars and professors from the school, full of colorful flowers, very elegant.
Probably because the residents are all university teachers, and there are many students who come to visit the teachers. The access control management of the community is not strict. As long as you tell the security guards which house you are going to and the surname of the resident, you can be let through.
By the way, Yao Wuzai dutifully asked the security guard about Lu Jianjian's recent situation.
The security guard didn't have much impression of this new resident who moved in in the last year. The only thing he knew was that he often brought a group of people around his age to play, but he didn't get any complaints from upstairs or downstairs. What's more, the courier in the courier cabinet can't be put down, I hope they can pass it on to Lu Jianjian by the way, come and pick up the courier if you have time.
Yao Wuzai nodded, and took the elevator upstairs with two friends, only one question in mind, what kind of drunken life did Lu Jianjian lead recently, that he even forgot to take the courier
As a result, he knocked on the door for a long time, but no one answered.
In the end, due to helplessness, Yao Wuzai took out the spare key that Lu Jianyan gave him, and opened the anti-theft door of Lu Jianjian's house. Yes, Yao Wuzai has the key to Lu Jianjian's house, but whether it's out of politeness or respect for Lu Jianjian's privacy, Yao Wuzai is more inclined to invite Lu Jianjian to open the door for them.
It was really impossible, so he had to resort to the last trick of opening the door directly.
Before opening the inner door of the entrance, Fifth Yi and Lou Tongxian told Yao Wuzhao that they should be mentally prepared. Lu Jianjian's age is just when he is crazy and troublesome, and he is in such an environment where the parents are not in his decision-making, it can be said that the sheep are completely herded, and what happens in his family is no exception.
The former party animal building is idle and thinks it has a special right to speak.
"Being naked all over the place is the best result." They also heard the security guard's comment on Lu Jianjian just now, and they often bring a group of young people over to play. How can children of this age play
Only worse, not worst.
Yao Wuzhe took it lightly: "Do you think I'm Lu Jianyan's brother-in-law?" He can accept anything from Lu Jianjian, but it's just a matter of whether he cleans up lightly or hard.
Fifth Yi sneered: "I thought you already considered yourself brother-in-law." Without Lu Jianyan, Fifth Yi and Yao Wuzai obviously dared to make some jokes.
"Not yet, but I will try my best." Yao Wuzai was also very relaxed.
Except for the complete situation of Lou Waiting and Leisure, what? What? Yao Wuzang likes Lu Jianyan? When did this happen
"It's just a boring verbal joke." Wu Yi reluctantly explained to Lou Erha, at least for now, it's still a joke. It will be hard to talk about the attitude of taking medicine without danger in the future.
After this episode, the three finally saw the true face of Lu Jianyan's family in Mount Lu.
As luck would have it, there were no messy parties or mountains of rubbish. To be precise, the house was so clean that it didn't look like a college boy's residence, but it was as if no one had ever lived in it.
Before a few people guessed about other terrifying aspects, a buzzing sound came from behind the curtain.
Then, the three of them witnessed a gray silly rabbit, sitting on top of the circular sweeping robot with its limbs gathered together, pointing to Jiangshan and stimulating the text, as if it was inspecting his territory, it turned out from behind the curtain. Back and forth, not to mention how imposing.
The three of them were taken aback by this silly rabbit, and the rabbit was also taken aback by them. It is no exaggeration, it jumped off the sweeping robot on the spot. Then... a very useless pee.
"What is this?" Fifth Yi frowned in disgust.
"Probably Lu Jianjian's pet." Yao Wuzai remembered that he had heard Lu Jianyan mention that Lu Jianjian had a pet.
Before Lou waited to squat down next to the gray rabbit to take a closer look, the rabbit disappeared at a speed that normal pets should not have. With a "bang", it seems that this silly rabbit will close the door.
"Didn't it mean that the IQ of rabbits is not as good as that of cats and dogs? I think this one is quite clever."
"Being scared to pee first, and then abandoning the master to escape alone, where is the cleverness?" Yao Wuzai doesn't have a very good sense for all creatures with low IQ.
"Don't say that." Lou Dang liked small animals very much, and recently he was thinking about whether to give his precious daughter a whole one.
"So, where's the person?" They made such a big commotion, but they still didn't see Lu Jianjian coming out.
Yao Wuzang stood in the living room and called Lu Jianjian. He called before coming, but no one answered, so he left a text message, telling Lu Jianjian that they would come to him. In fact, last night, Lu Jianyan personally called Lu Jianjian, but no one answered, so he could only say something about the medicine on WeChat.
"Nothing will happen to Jianjian, right?" Lou Dang finally became nervous.
The familiar ringtone of the mobile phone came from the master bedroom. The three of them looked at each other and lined up tacitly, protecting Yao Wuhao who could only walk with mechanical prosthetic limbs in the middle, and then walked towards the master bedroom together.
Lou waited to take the lead, using what he had learned in the doomsday test to the fullest.
He kicked the door violently, and when he opened it, he found that there was no one on the bed, and the sound of the mobile phone came from the holographic cabin next to the bed. A circle of bluish light flashed on the edge of the white cocoon-shaped holographic cabin, indicating that it was in use.
Medicine Without Trouble & Lou Waiting for Leisure & Fifth Yi: "..."
Lu Jianjian was lying in the holographic cabin with his eyes closed. At first glance without knowing it, he looks like a thousand-year-old vampire lying in a coffin, and he doesn't know how many days he hasn't woken up. Indulging in Internet addiction is really a relatively uncommon reason for playboys.
After finally waking Lu Jianjian up, he was sitting in the holographic cabin still looking confused. At first glance, it is stupid to play games.
"Brother Lou?"
This question was like blowing some strange horn, and a gray shadow sprang out from nowhere, directly biting Wu Yi's ankle.
I don't know whether it was on purpose or what, but the rabbit happened to choose the one with the weakest physical strength among the three of them.
"Ah, dear, don't bite!"
"Kiss?" Yao Wuzai & Lou waited.
Wu Yi was still fighting that gray stupid rabbit, and he was really too clever. Running away just now is not not for not protecting the Lord, but for hiding with all his heart, just waiting to fight hard at the critical moment.
A particularly painful realization: Rabbit bites really hurt.