After being with Shen Du for so many years, he knew exactly what kind of handwriting he used and what kind of writing style he used. Without careful study, he could see that the orchid in the snow must have come from Shen Du's hand.
Only he has such surly, such loneliness.
But this waiting butterfly was definitely not written by Shen alone, but from someone else he didn't know.
If only that was the case.
Pei Wuji may still be able to comfort himself, this may just be a trivial coincidence, and there may be some details hidden in it that he does not know.
However, Shen Du stared at this painting, it was too quiet.
It's so quiet that it doesn't look like a person who has only escaped from a series of crises, and it doesn't look like the big devil on the demon road who makes the demons tremble when he hears it. It is as slim and clear as a few distant mountains.
Shen Du at this moment is really beautiful.
The bottom of those deep eyes even carried a lingering taste that penetrated his heart.
"Shen..."
He opened his mouth and called out a word, but his voice was hoarse, and he lost the calmness and calmness that he had thought when he came, so that the word "alone" could not be exported.
Shen Du finally blinked.
He withdrew his gaze and turned his head slightly to look beside him.
At this time, Pei Wuji was already standing beside his bed, and after that word came out, he bent his knees and half-knelt beside his bed, stretched out his hands, hugged his waist tightly, and put his head on his waist. In between, tightly, trembling: "Shen Du, I'm so scared, I don't want you to die..."
The tall youth is no longer the slender youth of the past.
He already has the strength to crush many people, and even this face, which used to be a little fearful, has added a bit of perseverance.
But his attitude at the moment is so familiar.
Shen Du still remembered that the first time Pei Wuji hugged his waist so intimately, he was nervous and cramped, as if he mustered up all his courage to overcome some kind of fierce struggle in his heart. , for fear that he would reject him.
With an indomitable determination.
It was this kind of decision that made Shen Du feel unbearable again and acquiesced to his approach.
"Before I became the Dao Master of the Demon Dao, others said that I had a weak temperament, was indecisive, was more than benevolent, but was not decisive enough. They felt that the only one who was qualified to succeed my father as Dao Master was my senior brother. But I was the only one. I know, if my senior brother becomes the Taoist master, I will definitely die. So no matter how weak my temperament is, there is no way out at that time. I can only kill him. "
The events of the past, in Shen Du's narration, are always bland.
He stared at Pei Wuji, and his calm voice was like an undercurrent in the deep sea: "Pei Wuji, do you know why I didn't kill you, but taught you, raised you, and supported you?"
"… "
Pei Wuji didn't know.
In fact, this is not only the question of Pei Wuji, but also the question of everyone on Jian Tianya who knows about it.
There are always some rumors outside, saying that Shen Du did not kill Pei Wuji because he fell in love with his skin, which made his mind faint.
But Pei Wuji knew that it wasn't.
The reason why Shen Du always has the habit of breaking his sleeves is because of the backlash of the Liuhe Divine Art. From the beginning to the end, he was not a dazzling person, and he never had any superfluous feelings for him.
Occasionally, he would ask Shen Du anxiously and expectantly: Why didn't you kill me
He was hoping for an unexpected answer in his heart.
But Shen Du's answer was always silent. He will stare at him with a calm and incomprehensible gaze, but never speak.
Today, it was the first time Shen Du took the initiative to bring up this topic.
The Buddhist bead in his hand turned around quietly, and there were three volumes of Buddhist treasures that the entire martial arts industry coveted, but he did not have the heart to study it immediately at this time, but his heart became a lot lighter.
Shen Du laughed.
Then he turned his eyes back to the painting, and said lightly: "Because you were very much like me at that time. You have neither self-protection power nor ruthless temperament. Fear, struggle, and despair. Waiting for the butcher’s knife that will fall on top of my head at some point. My compassion is only reserved for those who cherish their lives.”
Compassion is only reserved for those who cherish their lives.
When these words landed, Pei Wuji felt the piercing coldness, and understood the words that Shen Du had not yet uttered: "So you keep me by your side, only because you know that although I have revenge, My heart is still undecided, because if I fail, the price will be unbearable. I cherish my life, if I don’t take revenge for a day, you will keep me for a day. So, are you going to kill me now?”
In the past, what he hated the most was Shen Du.
But now my favorite...
Also him.
The first time I saw him, he thought he was the culprit who killed his entire family and wanted revenge. But he didn't have a sword in his hand, and he didn't have the strength to fight him at all.
He thought that if Shen Du wanted to see him, he wanted to cut the grass and root out.
But he never imagined that the first question he asked of this beautiful, pale, and powerful man that made the entire Demon Dao bow his head was—
"Have you ever hugged a woman before?"
Pei Wuji has never hugged a woman.
The first person he hugged was a man.
This man's name is Shen Du.
When he was young, he had a strict family education. He had only seen those love affairs in the storybook. At the same time, he was full of fear and hatred, and his mind was almost dizzy, and he had no idea how to do it.
All he remembered was tight, bleeding.
But during the whole process, the man who controlled his life and death was not much older than him, and didn't make a sound at all.
He didn't take off his clothes.
What Pei Wuji could see was only his beautiful and slender neck, which was covered with fine sweat beads, and wet strands of hair fell down against it.
The fingers pressed on the soft couch curled up forcefully, forbearance and fragility.
The boy's first time is fast.
After it was over, Shen Du, whose eyes were red and bloodshot at the bottom of his eyes, grabbed his neck with all his strength, and just slammed his fingers in and he could kill him.
At that moment, Pei Wuji could see hatred in his eyes.
In just a split second, this hatred turned into boundless mockery, and as the cold light dissipated, it turned into a profound sadness.
He grabbed his neck and threw him out hard.
Pei Wuji remembered that his shoulder hit the foot of the chair on the other side of the room, and it hurt so badly, and then heard a very clear voice: "Go away."
He didn't kill him.
Pei Wuji was then taken back to the dark and damp prison in Jiantianya.
It's just that after this day, he will never dream of a woman again. Every midnight, what appeared in his dreams was that slender and beautiful neck covered in thin sweat.
At first, Pei Wuji in the dream was also afraid.
But over time, those fears gradually subsided.
Instead, there is a kind of torment caused by hatred, even mocking contempt.
In the dream, it became him pinching the big devil's neck, torturing him fiercely, like a bitch in a brothel, making him cry humiliatingly under him...
Then he questioned him: Why did you want to kill my parents
But it's all just a dream.
When he woke up from the dream, what he saw was still this small, foul-smelling cage, and the only light he could see was the small piece of light at his feet.
Time passed quickly, and Pei Wuji almost thought that night was just a dream.
Unexpectedly, after forty-nine days, someone once again brought him into the heavy palace. This time, before he went in, he looked up and remembered the three words hanging on the house—
Winter Ash Court.
Still alone.
It's the same demon master.
Or his nemesis.
Still the same thing.
Pei Wuji was still afraid of him.
The last time he fell to the ground, the injury on his shoulder and back took a long time to heal, and the pain was remembered for a long time, so he didn't dare to be presumptuous this time.
He despised him in his heart, but his movements were cautious and cautious because of fear.
The people under him obviously did not enjoy the incident itself, and there was a kind of impatience in his brows and eyes, but there was a strange pain in his forbearance, and his face was so pale that people suspected that he had some strange disease.
At that time, Pei Wuji didn't know that it was because of the backlash of the Six Harmonies God Art.
He only remembered that his slightly cold body brought him the most exciting experience, and the malice that he had grown in the days of fantasy began to emerge.
After the first time with vigor and vitality, the fierceness that belongs only to young people began to be revealed, deliberately rough and tortured.
Then comes the joy of revenge.
At that time, Pei Wuji didn't dare to think about how much of this joy came from hatred, and how much came from the matter itself.
Afterwards, Shen Du did not hit him again.
He was back in his prison again.
What follows is a repetition of this.
As the number of times increased, Pei Wuji's understanding of him gradually deepened, and he vaguely knew what was wrong with the famous "Liuhe Divine Art" that he cultivated, so he became arrogant to him.
It's just that he has a brain, so he doesn't say anything.
Sometimes it was violent and violent, sometimes it was deliberately dragged for a long time, and even once, when he was in a daze, he ripped off his robe.
Rumors began to spread on Tiantian Cliff, and some important figures of the Demon Dao also visited his cell several times and gave a few specious warnings.
Pei Wuji heard something different from it.
So he also began to think, why did he choose himself, and why can he tolerate himself? Is it really like what others have said, Shen Du has the habit of breaking his sleeves, so he "favors" him
Such doubts persisted for a long time.
Finally one day, he had the courage to tell him afterwards that he wanted to practice martial arts and did not want to continue living in a cell.
Then he also told him who had been to his side and what they had said.
After hearing this, Shen Du was silent for a long time, and then he laughed. For the first time, he reached out his hand and touched his head, as if he was rewarding an obedient puppy.
That night, he didn't give him an answer.
But just the day after returning, someone came to Jiantian Cliff, took him out of the cell, and lived in a place very close to Shen Du.
The house was kept clean, and the bookshelves were filled with exercises from each family.
He asked the people who were serving below him, where was the person who taught him martial arts.
Those people all shook their heads.
Pei Wuji thought that no one was there. He sat in the room and read a book for a day, looking at the various types of exercises and secrets, but he couldn't get in.
It was at this moment that Shen Du stepped into his house.
At that time, it was the sunset of Tiantian Cliff, the sky was slightly dark, the light in the house was dim, and even the words on the paper could not be read clearly.
The dark purple crane cloak was draped over him, and the sixteen demon patterns on the robe's corners were entrenched, majestic and cold.
When is it from desire to love
Maybe-
At that moment, he stood in front of him, took out the book in his hand, and told him "I teach you", right
Hate and love blur the boundaries.
Love and desire are indistinguishable from each other.
Pei Wuji felt that he had fallen into a trap called Shen Du. In the day after day getting along, he longed to touch a real person and a real heart, but he was always looking at the moon in the mirror, Flowers in the fog.
He treated him extremely harshly.
If there is a slight mistake, he will be beaten and scolded at every turn, and never be merciless.
He sometimes felt that Shen Du was cold and ruthless, as if he had no heart, and was really the big devil in the rumors of others; but sometimes he felt that Shen Du was gentle, although every time this feeling came and went quickly. Quick, like an illusion...
Most of the time, Shen Du was sitting on the high throne, giving orders, and a slight expression between his eyebrows could cause everyone to tremble and fear.
But there are always times...
He crouched under him, his robe was torn off by him, panting and trembling, enduring humiliatingly.
I don't remember when, Shen Du started to feed himself Wangyou water.
But Pei Wuji never drinks.
Sometimes he thinks he loves it so much and hates it so much.
Worry-free water can make Shen Du forget everything, immerse himself in the word "desire", and bring those rambunctious shapes that he would never have had when he was awake.
This will make Pei Wuji have the illusion that he owns him.
Only at times like this would he dare to madly want him, kiss his body, take control of him, and then pour out his secret and struggling feelings to him...
But more often, he took a clear look at Shen Du's disgust and hatred behind the dizziness and psychedelic power of the medicine...
So clear, so clear.
Shen Du never liked him. He knew his body, but he couldn't touch the unknown heart beneath this cold shell.
Sometimes, when you love to the extreme, you want to destroy.
It was he who was alone with Shen.
"Cui Hong said, I am more vicious and ruthless than you. But I can't win against you. Because you are my weakness, my weakness..."
Pei Wuji laughed, his voice soaked with blood.
"You are kind and soft-hearted. You know that I like you, so you don't kill me."
In the long silence just now, Shen Du had pushed him away, grabbed the string of Buddha beads, got up, took two steps forward, then stood and closed his eyes slightly.
But he did not admit Pei Wuji's judgment.
He just trained him as before, cold and cruel: "But my weakness is not you."
The picture on the wall hung quietly.
If the orchid does not bloom, the butterfly will fall.
Pei Wuji felt that his heart was mercilessly cut open by a sharp blade, blood gurgled out, and the severe pain caused him to laugh suddenly, as if he had heard something absurd in this world.
In the hoarse voice, there is a kind of heart-wrenching tragic.
He finally said the words that had been buried in his heart from the moment he entered the house, as if he had committed suicide: "Shen Du, you have someone in your heart..."
But this person is not me.