The silent night was silent, and the light snow outside the window fell and stopped, irregularly. The cold of the winter night was isolated from the window, and the warmth of the blanket made Gu Chaoming fall asleep.
He was breathing evenly, he had a dream.
He had a long, long dream that seemed to wake up in an instant. He dreamed that what Lin Jianfan said that day was the first time they met after school.
It wasn't that night, they met earlier.
Gu Chaoming dreamed that he saw Lin Jianfan wearing a mask for the first time. Lin Jianfan turned around and the little yellow flower in his hand fell to the ground. He wanted to go forward and bend over to help Lin Jianfan pick it up, but he seemed to be in control, the world was in control, and everything was according to the time of that day. go ahead.
He couldn't bend over to help Lin Jianfan pick up the little yellow flower that had fallen on the ground, he could only control his back and wave at Lin Jianfan, then turned around and couldn't see Lin Jianfan again.
At this point, the dream wakes up, like a nightmare.
In the dream, the dusk is heavy, the summer wind is mild, and the yellow flowers on the roadside are in full bloom. No matter how you look at it, it is a good dream.
Good dreams and bad dreams, Gu Chaoming couldn't judge, he opened his eyes.
His dream was a natural awakening, and he was also forced to wake up by the sound of the outside world.
When he woke up, before opening his eyes, Gu Chaoming heard the sound of glass falling to the ground and shattering.
What fell in the dream was a small yellow flower, and what fell after waking up was the teacup in the living room.
The glass slag shattered on the ground, and the water in the cup flowed on the ground without the obstruction of the glass.
Hearing the sound, Gu Chaoming opened his eyes and found that there was no one around him, and he didn't have time to put on his shoes. He hurried to the living room and saw the broken glass drowned in the tea on the floor. He saw Lin Jianfan standing in front of the broken glass. .
Gu Chaoming hurriedly stepped forward to ask what was wrong, and took Lin Jianfan's finger to check if he was injured. Lin Jianfan said, "I just remembered to drink some water, but I broke the cup."
Like a kid who makes mistakes.
"It's fine," Gu Chaoming patted him comfortably after checking that Fan's fingers weren't injured, "Why don't you wear more? You don't have to put on a padded jacket to get up?"
Lin Jianfan was only wearing light pajamas for sleeping.
"I want to drink water." Lin Jianfan said softly.
Still sounds like a child making mistakes.
Gu Chaoming looked at him: "Let's go back to bed first, it's cold outside, you already have a cold, hurry up, I'll bring you some water after I've sorted it out."
Like taking care of a erring child.
Lin Jianfan obediently walked back to the room. Gu Chaoming watched him walk into the room before he walked over to the coffee table with peace of mind, and took out a few tissues to sort out the broken glass on the ground.
When he squatted down to pick up the broken glass on the ground, there was someone walking behind him. Gu Chaoming turned around and froze in place while holding the tissue paper he took out.
Lin Jianfan, who was obedient and returned to the room, did not go to bed, but put on his pajamas and walked over with his slippers and pajamas, draped the pajamas over him, and put the cotton shoes on the floor.
Gu Chaoming ran out when he heard the sound. He ran too fast. He didn't have time to put on his shoes or pajamas. He was used to the temperature of stepping on the floor with his bare feet. When Lin saw Fan holding slippers in front of him, he felt Cold soles.
Gu Chaoming put on his slippers, took Lin Jianfan's hand, hugged him, and kissed him on the forehead.
The pajamas draped over him slipped slightly due to the hug.
"Okay, it's not cold anymore," Gu Chaoming said to Lin Jianfan with a smile, "Go back to sleep, I'll come later."
Lin Jianfan walked back to the room, and Gu Chaoming watched him walk back to the room before squatting down again and continuing to clean up the glass that Lin Jianfan broke. He packed up and poured him a glass of warm water for him to drink. Gu Chaoming had already drank warm water. Gu Chaoming put the water glass back in the living room and then went back to the bedroom. Lin saw that Fan had already fallen asleep.
Gu Chaoming put Lin Jianfan's hand outside the quilt into the quilt, and fell asleep beside Lin Jianfan.
Gu Chaoming closed his eyes, he didn't notice the "sleeping" Lin Jianfan opened his eyes after he fell asleep.
The next day was no different from the day before. Gu Chaoming cooked, watched TV with Lin Jianfan, and explained Lin Jianfan with Lin Ma and Lao Chen.
Tell Ma Lin that he has persuaded Lin Jianfan to go home, and Lin Jianfan promised him to go home tomorrow morning, and he will send Lin Jianfan home.
When not going out at home, Lin Jianfan sat on the sofa under a blanket and watched TV. After Gu Chaoming sent a message to Lao Chen, he came over and sat beside Lin Jianfan.
Lin Jianfan leaned against him, put his head on his shoulder and said, "Shi Cancan's birthday is tomorrow."
Shi Cancan? Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan. By the way, Shi Cancan was celebrating her birthday recently, and Lin Jianfan also bought her a birthday present. There were too many things in the past two days, and Gu Chaoming forgot about Shi Cancan's birthday.
"Can you help me and Li Zhao say 'I'm sorry, I can't go to Shi Cancan's birthday'?" asked Lin Jianfan.
"Okay." Gu Chaoming nodded.
Lin Jianfan's mobile phone was kept in Gu Chaoming's hands, but Lin Jianfan didn't say anything, and asked him to help send messages.
After receiving Gu Chaoming's answer, Lin Jianfan said again, "Tell you a secret."
"Huh?" Gu Chaoming raised his hand and stroked the top of Lin Jianfan's head leaning on his shoulder, "What secret?"
"Actually, in addition to the photos of the sports meeting that I gave you, I also have a lot of secret photos of you, including the sports meeting, the candid photos in the teaching building, the candid photos when you were cooking, and the videos, all of which are stored on the computer in my room. password is… …"
"Why tell me this?" Gu Chaoming lowered his head and asked Lin Jianfan's cheek.
"Nothing, I just want to tell you and let you know."
"Do you know how much you like me?" Gu Chaoming began to glibly again, but Lin Jianfan didn't use his glib words to talk about him this time, but instead gave a strange "um".
"Why didn't you say that I'm slick today?" Gu Chaoming asked with a smile.
"You want to hear me but I don't want to say it."
With the sudden willfulness, Gu Chaoming pinched Lin Jianfan's close face: "Why are you becoming more and more domineering?"
"Learn from you, learn from your Gu's crooked reasoning." Lin Jianfan immediately received it.
"Don't learn these bad things from me." Gu Chaoming said, "Do you know what Lao Chen said to us when you first came?"
"say what?"
"On the day you first came, I was actually hiding in the toilet to smoke. When I came out, I saw you splashing water on your face. Later, when I returned to the classroom, Lao Chen found out that you were smoking. Lao Chen asked me not to spoil you. Did you go back to the classroom? hear."
Lin Jianfan on his shoulder moved: "I know you smoked in the toilet, I smelled it, and then you don't seem to be smoking anymore."
"I stopped smoking a long time ago," Gu Chaoming laughed when he thought of the reason for not smoking. "At that time, I wanted to say that if you want to be a good student, you should quit smoking. Then there was no smoking."
"It's not good to smoke, stop smoking in the future." Lin Jianfan ordered in the most ordinary tone.
"Okay, don't smoke." Gu Chaoming touched Lin Jianfan's head and said.
"I want to sleep." Lin Jianfan's eyes slowly closed.
"Let's go to the room to sleep." Gu Chaoming persuaded him, the person looking over his shoulder had closed his eyes and planned to pick him up and go to the room to sleep.
Before he could move, Lin Jianfan followed Gu Chaoming's chest, pulled a heavy blanket and lay on Gu Chaoming's thigh, and said in a sticky voice, "The room is too far away, so I just want to sleep here."
Room too far? Lin Jianfan's Gu family is very good.
The weight on his legs suddenly added, Gu Chaoming let Lin Jianfan fall asleep, just because he was afraid that he would catch a cold, he covered him with a blanket. He also covered the rest of the blanket on Lin Jianfan. Fan protested too hot.
On an ordinary winter day, Gu Chaoming patted Lin Jianfan who was asleep. When he was tired from watching TV, Gu Chaoming kissed Lin Jianfan's nose lightly, as if regaining his vitality, staring at Lin Jianfan's sleeping face.
Lin Jianfan's sleeping face was very good, like a porcelain doll, Gu Chaoming couldn't help touching his eyebrows, afraid that he would wake him up.
Touched the eyebrows, then the ears, a soft and fragile place.
Eye sockets, cheeks, chin, all the way soft strokes ending in a kiss on the lips.
He leaned over and placed a kiss on Lin Jianfan's lips before continuing to coax the child to sleep.
Tomorrow, he was going to take Lin Jianfan home. Gu Chaoming checked the route and thought about how to explain it to Lin Ma and how he could not be the one who kidnapped her son.
Until he went to bed at night, Gu Chaoming was still imagining what the meeting with Lin Ma would be like tomorrow.
Lying on the bed, Lin Jianfan did not sleep, but approached him and asked, "Are you thinking about how to face my mother tomorrow?"
Gu Chaoming was surprised: "How do you know?"
"I guessed it from your expression." Lin Jianfan said.
"Expression?" Is it so easy to see through your own expression? Gu Chaoming thought.
Gu Chaoming was still thinking about his expression, but Lin Jianfan, who was approaching, said to him, "I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" Gu Chaoming asked.
"Bring you in too, Lao Chen will have an opinion on you in the future..." Lin Jianfan retracted into Gu Chaoming's arms.
Gu Chaoming reached out and hugged him: "What are you talking about, Lao Chen is very reasonable, how could he have any opinion on me, and I wasn't dragged in by you, I did it voluntarily."
"Don't think about it, it's not your fault, you don't need to apologize. I've said sorry so many times before, so don't say it now."
It's the people who bully you who should say sorry, not you.
The fault is them, not you.
Gu Chaoming didn't say the last two sentences, fearing that Lin Jianfan would be stimulated, he just silently complained in his heart.
"Go to sleep, don't think about it, go home tomorrow. Talk to your parents about how you lied to them by pretending to have amnesia, and they will definitely understand you. They worry about you because they love you, not because they think you are a burden to them. You said that you blamed yourself when you saw their worried eyes, then only if you get better soon, they won't be so worried, and you don't have to blame yourself so much."
Gu Chaoming's forehead rested on Lin Jianfan's forehead, looked at Lin Jianfan's eyes and said to him: "You said you brought worry, but you also brought me sunshine. Many, many things happened after meeting you. It's going in a good direction."
"I used to think that my life was a wasteland, but you brought flowers and gave me a world full of flowers."
"I've always wanted to tell you that meeting you is my luck and my motivation to live, so please think about me when you can't live."
Gu Chaoming's words seemed to sense something.
He only perceives, he is not sure, and does not want his perception to be correct.
Lin Jianfan quickly buried his head on Gu Chaoming's shoulder, so that Gu Chaoming could not see the tears in his eyes.
Gu Chaoming hugged Lin Jianfan, who was buried on his shoulder. He couldn't see the tears in Lin Jianfan's eyes, but he could feel the wetness on his shoulders.
Lin saw that Fan was crying.
he knows.
Tired from crying, so tired that he fell asleep, and the person in his arms stopped moving, Gu Chaoming hugged him gently and helped the sleeping Lin Jianfan change into a comfortable position.
"Good night, see you tomorrow." Gu Chaoming said to Lin Jianfan who closed his eyes.
There were still tears in Lin Jianfan's eyes.
Gu Chaoming had the dream of last night again, the dream that he couldn't control himself, the yellow flower fell, and he waved his hand backwards.
He also woke up, but not with a broken glass.
Feeling the movement of the people around him, the flustered Gu Chaoming woke up at the slightest movement.
Gu Chaoming grabbed Lin Jianfan who got up, and Lin Jianfan's wrist was still warm from the bed.
"I'm going to drink water." Lin Jianfan said.
Same statement as yesterday.
"I'm with you." Gu Chaoming said and got up from the quilt. When he got up, he saw Lin Jianfan's hand shrunken in his pajamas. Lin Jianfan noticed the look in his eyes, and his hands tucked in his pajamas hid more behind his back.
Gu Chaoming knew that his feeling was not wrong.
Lin Jianfan said a lot during the day he was living with him, and many words that seemed to be inadvertently and carefully thought about were all in one direction.
Yesterday's Lin Jianfan was using the last day he had won to say goodbye to him.
Say goodbye to this world.
He just promised to go home, but he didn't make preparations to go home. He just wanted to spend more time with him, so that he would not have any regrets.
He thought that Gu Chaoming couldn't see it, but what Gu Chaoming said to him before he went to bed let him know that Gu Chaoming knew everything.
Gu Chaoming is keeping him, and he is keeping him by himself.
I hope that the person who gave him the motivation to live can also be full of motivation to live because of him in this blossoming world.
Lin Jianfan was shaken by Gu Chaoming's retention, but he still took advantage of Gu Chaoming's inattention to hide a piece of glass. The glass was now in his palm, stained red with blood from the force.
In the dark night, a drop of red blood dripped on the floor. No matter how Lin Jianfan hid, Gu Chaoming could clearly hear and see the sound of blood dripping on the floor.
Bright red blood is the evidence of the night.
Gu Chaoming glanced at the blood on the ground, and then looked at Lin Jianfan questioningly. Lin Jianfan felt guilty and panicked, and did not dare to look directly at Gu Chaoming.
A force in his arm suddenly threw him onto the bed, Gu Chaoming pressed him with one hand, but within a second, the other hand violently grabbed the sharp glass from his injured palm.
"What is this?! Huh?!" Gu Chaoming pressed Lin Jianfan, the bloody glass in his hand made him go crazy in the dark night, he pressed Lin Jianfan almost furiously, and raised the glass in his hand to question him.
Gu Chaoming had never spoken to Lin Jianfan in such a violent and fierce tone, nor had he suppressed Lin Jianfan with such a purely shackled action.
He has always been gentle to Lin Jianfan, and he was always afraid of his injury. Gu Chaoming was afraid of hurting him when he suppressed Lin Jianfan, but Lin Jianfan's actions made him unacceptable.
Gu Chaoming's breath became angry, and he looked at Lin Jian Fan with an indescribable emotion.
Lin Jianfan, who was pinned down by him, didn't speak, he was just crying, crying non-stop, tears slid from the corners of his eyes into the auricles.
It's like being wronged, being wronged by the sky.
As soon as Lin Jianfan cried, Gu Chaoming's rage was like a dark cloud that was forced to rain, and was forced to dissipate by Lin Jianfan's tears.
Holding up the bloody glass hand, he stopped, pressing Lin Jianfan's arm to withdraw his strength.
Lin Jianfan's hazy eyes were filled with panic and fear. Gu Chaoming was afraid that he would treat him as someone who had bullied him in the next second, and would say to him, "Don't hit me."
Imagining that scene in his mind, Gu Chaoming's heart was pulled into a ball.
Throwing away the bloody glass in his hand, Gu Chaoming picked up Lin Jianfan, who was crying on the bed, and patted him on the back, "I'm sorry, I didn't control it well."
Gu Chaoming hugged Lin Jianfan and sighed, he hadn't lost his temper for a long, long time.
He didn't want to be like Gu Tao, but he was angry with Lin Jianfan now.
Gu Chaoming kept patting Lin Jianfan's back, and Lin Jianfan's tears wet his shoulders again.
Lin saw Fan crying aggrievedly, so softly that Gu Chaoming was going to blame him a little louder.
Gu Chaoming patted the palm of Lin Jianfan's back, and instead stroked the bulging bones of Lin Jianfan's neck: "Don't be afraid, cry out, I'm here, I'm here."
The crying stopped, the head on the shoulder moved, and then there was a wailing.
Lin Jianfan hugged tighter and tighter, as if trying to hide in Gu Chaoming's body: "I'm so scared, Chaoming, I'm so scared, I'm so scared every day, I don't want to go home. I close my eyes and it's Zhu Shengquan's. Face, close my eyes is the old school, I don't even dare to sleep, I am afraid that it is just a dream now, I will never wake up again when I fall asleep, and go back to that kind of life."
The vague voice with tears, every sound and every word made Gu Chaoming feel distressed, he hugged Lin Jianfan back, and used his face to get close to Lin Jianfan's face.
He didn't know what to do, he had to do it.
"I'm here, I won't go back to the past, and I'll go back with you when I go back to the past." Gu Chaoming hugged Lin Jianfan tightly and said.
Lin Jianfan couldn't stop crying. He didn't dare to sleep these days, and slept very lightly. When he woke up from a nightmare, he had already slept in Gu Chaoming's arms, but he still wanted to burrow into Gu Chaoming's arms. Hiding in Gu Chaoming's arms was like hiding in a warm nest, and no one could take him away.
Half-dream and half-awake, he felt that the person in his arms was moving. Gu Chaoming would embrace Lin Jianfan with his half-awake consciousness, but after a while, this half-awake consciousness returned to sleep.
That was the most reassuring moment for Lin Jianfan all night.
I haven't rested much in the past two days, I couldn't sleep well at night, I cried a lot just now, and my body seemed to be exhausted. Lin Jianfan, who was lying on Gu Chaoming's shoulder, was so tired that he wanted to sleep, but he still refused to let go. He buried his side face into Gu Chaoming's side neck.
He closed his eyes and rested, breathing on Gu Chaoming's neck.
The well-proportioned heat on his neck rushed out and retracted. Gu Chaoming let Lin Jianfan hold him the whole time. He felt the person in his arms calm down, and Gu Chaoming's tense nerves were relieved.
He let out a sigh of relief, but the nerves in his legs couldn't be relieved, because he hugged Lin Jianfan, Lin Jianfan had been sitting on his lap, and Gu Chaoming's legs were numb from Lin Jianfan's pillow in the afternoon, and now he can't move. .
While Lin Jianfan was asleep, Gu Chaoming stood up and slowly bent down, wanting to put down Lin Jianfan who was asleep. After crying at night, Lin Jianfan was particularly clingy, and before his back was on the bed, Lin Jianfan stretched out his arms and wrapped his arms around Gu Chaoming's neck.
"Don't go." Lin Jianfan, who was asleep, opened his eyes.
"I'm not leaving, I'll go get some medicine." Gu Chaoming touched the back of Lin Jianfan's head.
"I don't want to apply medicine." Lin Jianfan said.
"How is that possible?"
"You just aren't allowed to leave." Lin Jianfan locked Gu Chaoming's neck tightly, leaving no gaps.
Gu Chaoming had no choice, he hugged Lin Jianfan, picked up the pajamas that fell from the bed, covered him, and took him out of the medicine box.
Like a sleeping sloth hanging on his body, Gu Chaoming took the medicine box and walked to the bed to put Lin Jianfan down.
"I'll apply medicine to you, I won't leave, it's right here." He comforted Lin Jianfan and put him down gently and covered the quilt, Lin Jianfan kept looking at him with his eyes open.
Gu Chaoming opened the medicine box and bandaged him, and he stared at it, even though he was sleepy to death, he kept staring.
"Why do you hurt yourself so much?" Gu Chaoming asked while helping Lin Jianfan deal with the wound, "Do you know that you are hurting me by hurting yourself so much? Seeing you hurt makes my heart hurt."
"I'm sorry." Lin Jianfan said.
His voice was hazy with sleepiness. Gu Chaoming was so scared that he didn't feel sleepy at all. Gu Chaoming persuaded him: "Go to sleep if you want, I'm not going anywhere, I promise to let you see me tomorrow."
Speaking of tomorrow, Lin Jianfan asked, "Tomorrow..."
Gu Chaoming knew what he wanted to say, and immediately rejected him: "No, I have already told your mother that I will take you home, you have been out for two or three days, your mother is very worried about you, although I am also very worried about you, But you can't worry your parents like that. I can't let them worry so much either."
"Don't worry, I won't leave you alone." Gu Chaoming said.
"If I go home, my mother won't let me go to school, and I won't be able to see you." Lin Jianfan's words became more and more sleepy, but he was still thinking.
It seems that he can no longer trust anyone, except Gu Chaoming.
Lin Jianfan knew that his parents' love for him was eternal and would not change. They cared about him and they ran for him. He knew they loved him, he knew it clearly, but he couldn't seem to trust them anymore.
No matter how nice they were to him and how worried they were about him, Lin Jianfan couldn't forget the phone calls to let him listen to the teacher's words carefully, and he couldn't forget the quarrel between his mother who treated him as a child.
He knew that his mother was tired for him and paid for him. It wasn't that he couldn't see or was ignorant. He just couldn't find a way to believe.
The door of belief was closed to him.
Gu Chaoming was the only one who desperately broke into his world and told him "you still have me" after he thought this world could no longer be trusted.
That person would pull him behind him in a protective posture, would take him by the hand and lead him to escape, and would jump off a high wall to drive away his bullies for him.
The school uniform that opened when he jumped was his cape.
Gu Chaoming entered the door of trust, the young man with a yellow flower twisting his fingertips.
Not wanting to go home is not only because he doesn't want to see his parents' worried faces, but also because he feels at ease with Gu Chaoming, and only when he is with Gu Chaoming can he feel safe, like being protected.
He spent two days with Gu Chaoming, and he had been here as the last two days.
In the end, the young man he trusted saw through him, pulled him tight, and understood him.
Thinking of having to face his worried parents again, and not being able to see Gu Chaoming, who made him feel at ease, Lin Jianfan felt very scared, so scared that he just wanted to stick with Gu Chaoming so that he didn't have to separate.
Lin Jianfan once thought that Zhu Shengquan's love for him was perverted and disgusting. So now, relying on others and completely tying your trust to Gu Chaoming alone, is also perverted...
"Don't worry, I will tell your mother tomorrow that I will come to see you every day. If your mother doesn't let me, you can talk to me, and she will definitely let her."
Gu Chaoming smiled and said, "I always feel like I'm teaching you something bad."
"Then can you sleep with me at night?" Lin Jianfan asked directly.
"Sleep? This is unlikely." Gu Chaoming said, "I tried your mother's defense against people around you when I sent you home."
When Lin saw Fan drunk and sent him home that time, Gu Chaoming felt that the woman was not easy to deal with.
Lin Jianfan was silent for a while, Gu Chaoming thought he was asleep when he took care of the wound carefully, but when he looked up, he found that Lin Jianfan was not asleep, but kept staring at him.
"Is your boyfriend handsome?" Gu Chaoming didn't want the atmosphere to be too heavy, so he joked, "I have eye mucus in my eyes now, I am also wearing pajamas, and your tears and snot are all around my neck and shoulders. , what's so beautiful."
"I don't have a runny nose." Lin Jianfan whispered.
Gu Chaoming teased him deliberately: "What did you say?"
"I said I didn't have a runny nose."
"what?"
"I said I love you."
The funny words were defeated by the sentence I love you. Lin Jianfan understood Gu Chaoming's character and knew that Gu Chaoming wanted to make him happy. Gu Chaoming's way of making people happy is very useful. When he said "I love you" to Gu Chaoming, Lin felt very happy when he saw Fan.
After a long time, Gu Chaoming said, "I love you too."