Presence

Chapter 136

Views:

The wind in the spring afternoon was gentle, greening the leaves, and went to appease Gu Chaoming under the tree.

The shadows of the trees swayed and the leaves rustled in the wind. Under the shade of the trees, Gu Chaoming tightly hugged Lin Jianfan who had just turned his head.

The rib that was so tight in the chest collided with the rib, causing a slight pain.

Gu Chaoming's hug was too sudden, lying comfortably on the side of the road basking in the sun, Ren Lin saw the kittens petted by Fan, all of them were scared away by Gu Chaoming.

Gu Chaoming's arm did not pass through Lin Jianfan's waist as usual, but in a posture of hugging him all.

He wrapped his arms around Lin Jianfan's neck, and crossed his arms behind Lin Jianfan's neck. In his hand, Gu Tao made the envelope that Zhou Han handed over to him squeeze tightly, as if it was about to be crushed.

Lin Jianfan was not dazed by Gu Chaoming's sudden hug. When he was stroking the kitten, he was ready to meet Gu Chaoming who faced him in any abnormal way, including the sudden hug.

Even if Gu Chaoming didn't come for a long time, Lin Jianfan planned to go to the school gate to look for it, but if he didn't find it, he would call the police.

This is about Gu Tao, and Lin Jianfan didn't dare to be sloppy at all. He had seen Gu Tao's madness, and like Gu Chaoming, he couldn't imagine Gu Tao crying and saying sorry.

The posture of hugging the neck is the posture Gu Chaoming is seeking for comfort and support, and Lin Jianfan understands it. He let Gu Chaoming hold him, no matter if anyone passed by the road, his palm slowly stroked Gu Chaoming's back, stroked Gu Chaoming's back and comforted him gently.

Gu Chaoming didn't say a word, just hugged him tightly. There was no insertion point, and he didn't know what Gu Chaoming heard or saw. Lin Jianfan couldn't comfort him with words. He stroked one after another, waiting for Gu Chaoming to calm down.

The air of the campus in spring is full of warm smells, and every breath is like a breath of pure sunshine. Sunlight fell on the road in front of Gu Chaoming through the gaps in the branches that stretched out on the boulevard.

Gu Chaoming didn't cry. It wasn't that he wasn't vulnerable, that Zhou Han's words weren't enough to touch him, and it wasn't that he didn't want to be vulnerable in front of Lin Jianfan. They had promised the other party that they wouldn't hide their emotions.

His heart was full of grief, and he just couldn't shed tears.

Gu Tao's apology really touched his heart, not the one that hit his tear ducts.

This untrue sorry came too late, it could touch Gu Chaoming's heart of hating him for 18 years, but he could never get his forgiveness.

He tightly wrapped his neck around Lin Jianfan's neck, his head was next to Lin Jianfan's head, his auricle rubbed against Lin Jianfan's auricle, and in front of him was the boulevard where he often walked with Lin Jianfan in spring.

The tree shadows on the boulevard are mottled, the wind blows, the tree shadows flutter, the most beautiful scene created by the spring sunshine, and the gray and black tree shadows also give a beautiful texture.

Gu Chaoming stared at the whirling tree shadows on the road. In the spring when everything was revived and the sun was shining brightly, a sadness rose in his heart on the road full of whirling tree shadows.

There was a sadness that was totally incommensurate with the warmth of spring.

This disproportionate sadness comes from the man's apology.

"See Fan." Gu Chaoming finally called out his name.

"Well, I'm here." Lin Jianfan turned his head slightly, rubbed Gu Chaoming's auricle with his own auricle, and told him that I'm here.

The static electricity in spring is not as strong as that in winter, and there is no thorny static electricity caused by small friction, but Gu Chaoming still feels a slight inductance. The inductance conveys the warmth of Lin Jianfan's silent comfort, and he is familiar with the way. He knocked open Gu Chaoming's heart.

Gu Chaoming was like a kitten that couldn't be touched enough. After Lin Jianfan rubbed slightly, he tilted his head directly, put his head close to Lin Jianfan's ear, and approached Lin Jianfan who was warm enough for him.

He desperately needed enough comfort to prove that he wasn't heartless, to prove that it wasn't his fault for not being able to shed tears.

"See Fan." Gu Chaoming just called his name.

Seeing that the stroking in Fan's hand didn't stop, Gu Chaoming responded when he called him, letting Gu Chaoming know that he was still there and that he could tell him anything.

"See Fan."

"Um."

"See Fan." Gu Chaoming called him again.

"Well, I'm here."

Lin Jianfan wanted to joke with him to comfort him and said, "Is the signal bad over your side? Always call me by my name."

Gu Chaoming often joked and comforted him like this. It seemed easy, but when Lin Jianfan did it, he realized it was so difficult. When comforting Gu Chaoming, he wanted to open his mouth to say a joke but couldn't say anything, as if he was dumbfounded in his throat, only the palm that gently stroked his back did not flinch.

Lin Jianfan's joke did not come out, but Gu Chaoming smiled in his ear: "Seeing Fan, you are really warm."

One sentence made Lin Jianfan difficult to answer, and his comforting words met Gu Chaoming's sentence, "You are so warm."

Gu Chaoming was stronger than him in the end. In the face of his father's beating and his mother's departure, he always showed people with laughter, unlike him who always cried.

Lin Jianfan stroked the hand on Gu Chaoming's back, stroked Gu Chaoming's head leaning on his shoulder, and stroked the back of Gu Chaoming's head, missing the opportunity to joke, this time Lin Jianfan finally said: "If you are warm, just hug for a while, okay. Eat as much as you want."

Lin Jianfan's jokes were jerky and did not capture the essence of the jokes. Gu Chaoming once said that he would persuade people, but Lin Jianfan could only say that Gu Chaoming took a wrong look.

"It's not funny at all." He said it wasn't funny, but Gu Chaoming still laughed out loud.

Hearing Gu Chaoming's smile, Lin Jianfan relaxed a lot, and his words relaxed with his mood: "It's not because of you that I'm so nervous that I can't even joke."

Gu Chaoming finally let go of his neck, the arms around his neck shifted to Lin Jianfan's waist, and his palms lightly grabbed both sides of Lin Jianfan's waist: "You don't know how to joke, you can't blame me."

"It's your fault?" Lin Jianfan said.

"I seem to dote on you too much, and dote on you too capriciously."

"Then you are planning to..." Lin Jianfan was embarrassed to say the word "favorite", feeling it was too sweet, "Then are you planning to treat me badly? Then I may be sad for a while."

"Who said it's not good for you? I like you like this." Gu Chaoming said.

Lin Jianfan looked up at Gu Chaoming and smiled, the sun was shining on his face, Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan's face under the sun, he just wanted to take away the sunshine from his lips, who let the sunshine occupy Lin Jianfan's face Lips, still glowing with a slight light to demonstrate to him.

"Also, if I treat you badly, you will be sad for a while?" Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan and said.

"That conference?" Lin Jianfan laughed.

Before Gu Chaoming spoke, Lin Jianfan continued, "You shouldn't give me a chance to be sad, right?"

Lin Jianfan raised his head and fell into Chunguang's eyes to look straight at Gu Chaoming, which made Gu Chaoming wrap his waist with one hand, grab his arm with the other and grab his hand tightly along the arm.

Pulling Lin Jianfan into his arms, Gu Chaoming leaned into Lin Jianfan's ear and said, "Guess."

The breath of the two provocative voices rushed to his ears. Lin saw that Fan's ears were itching to his heart. He wanted to cover his ears, but he suppressed the urge to raise his hand, as if he was competing with Gu Chaoming - I don't know. It's so easy to get caught by you.

He didn't raise his hand, but his ears turned red at a speed visible to the naked eye under the shadow of the spring tree, and Lin Jianfan could feel his ears warm.

Seeing Lin Jian Fan Tong's red ears, Gu Chaoming leaned over to his ear again and said, "Of course not."

"You still don't believe in Doraemon?" Gu Chaoming smiled when Lin Jianfan looked into his eyes.

The sadness in his heart was driven away by the expression on Lin Jianfan's face who wanted to laugh but couldn't help it.

Lin Jian Fan finally couldn't help but laugh.

The pain that Gu Tao brought to him, Lin Jianfan's smile can completely resist it.

The breeze picked up, the tree shadows swayed, and Lin Jianfan laughed under the tree shadows.

Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan's smiling face.

I should be successful, right? Gu Chaoming put Gu Tao aside and thought.

I should have successfully brought Lin Jianfan out of the haze of the past, and brought him to see this blooming world again.

The newly blooming flowers on the roadside waved in the wind, and the green grass was full of vitality. You see, this world is a world full of flowers.

Lin Jian Fan smiled, so Gu Chaoming laughed too.

he made it.

He had wanted to kill a man, but he had saved a man now.

Save the one he loves the most.

Since the most beloved person is in front of him, and the spring is so beautiful, Gu Tao's affairs should be put on hold for a while, and let's go with Lin Jianfan to enjoy this beautiful spring and this blooming world.

Gu Chaoming is not good at persuading people, but he learns to heal himself when he tries to comfort Lin Jianfan, and learns to find some happy things to offset when he is in pain.

Maybe he learned to heal himself when he tried his best to make Lin Jianfan forget the past. Only by making himself stronger can he better protect Lin Jianfan.

"Are you hungry? Let's go to eat?" Gu Chaoming asked Lin Jianfan loosely.

Gu Chaoming, who rushed over to hug him, was depressed, but after his touch, Gu Chaoming who let go of him was as active as today's sunshine.

Lin Jianfan nodded with a smile: "I'm hungry."

"Is this the envelope your dad gave?" Seeing the envelope in Gu Chaoming's hand long ago, Lin Jianfan waited until Gu Chaoming was relaxed before asking.

Gu Chaoming nodded and showed it to Lin Jianfan, as if he didn't care: "Zhou Han said it was full of money, I guess it is, but I don't know why my dad gave me money suddenly, he always asked me for money. It costs money."

The envelope was not opened, and Lin Jianfan only touched the envelope.

"But Zhou Han said that when he met my dad, my dad cried while talking, saying I'm sorry for me and my mother."

Gu Chaoming's eyes suddenly became a little heavy, not as light as before. Gu Chaoming thought he was disguising well, but Lin Jianfan still quickly caught him.

Gu Chaoming asked inadvertently, "Do you think I should believe him?"

After asking the question, he asked himself and answered: "But I will never believe him, nor will I be able to believe him. I'm just thinking, can I just say sorry to cancel out all the hatred? If I don't forgive him, am I a little too heartless? You Say he is crocodile tears? But I don't even have crocodile tears."

Gu Chaoming pretended not to, but he was eagerly waiting for Lin Jianfan's answer.

Can a light apology wipe out all past mistakes

There are always people who are generous, saying that they have apologized, so you can forgive him, but Gu Chaoming can't do it, he is not so generous, he can't even shed a single tear.

He is used to a mad Gu Tao, a Gu Tao who annoys him, and now he doesn't need or want a Gu Tao who runs over to give him money and say sorry to him.

He doesn't need it, but why does he feel that he is heartless if he can't shed tears

Gu Chaoming asked a lot of questions, but it seemed that there was no point. Even if he was an ordinary person, he would not be able to quickly understand the entanglement in Gu Chaoming's heart like Lin Jianfan.

"I can't cry, am I being too indifferent?"

Gu Chaoming said a lot, but in fact, it is just this question.

Gu Tao treated him like a sudden hailstorm. There was no surprise, only shock. Gu Chaoming had put Gu Tao in that position for so many years, but the sudden change in Gu Tao made him unable to slow down. He asked himself if he was too indifferent, but the pain that Gu Tao brought him was still there.

Knowing him, Lin Jianfan grasped the core of Gu Chaoming's depression, and he wanted to express his thoughts to Gu Chaoming.

Lin Jianfan quickly put together a draft speech in his heart and wanted to tell Gu Chaoming, but Gu Chaoming didn't give him a chance to speak.

It is agreed that we will go to see this flowery world first, and leave the troubles behind. The first thing to see the world of blooming flowers is to start with eating.

With unresolved problems, Gu Chaoming took Lin Jianfan's hand, turned around and said to Lin Jianfan, "Go to the supermarket to buy some snacks when you get home, and buy you your favorite yogurt."

He wanted to see the blooming spring, and with Lin Jianfan, on the way home from school.

After typing out the draft, he didn't say it, and Lin Jianfan nodded, so let's accompany Gu Chaoming to watch the sunset in the spring.

Winter is getting farther and farther, spring is coming quickly, and the sunset after school is thick and orange-yellow hanging in the sky.

Lin Jianfan still went to Gu Chaoming's house for dinner. Ma Lin knew that Lin Jianfan had told Ma Lin before school started, and Ma Lin nodded in agreement and did not ask for the address of Gu Chaoming's house.

From the beginning, Ma Lin suspected that Gu Chaoming was the second Zhu Shengquan. Later, she was moved by Gu Chaoming's perseverance in taking care of Lin Jianfan. Lin Ma believed him in all aspects, and she chose to ignore the relationship between Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan.

Lin Ma was actually struggling, but she thought it was her own imagination, not just because Gu Chaoming was too good to Lin Jianfan.

Ma Lin believed that it had given Gu Chaoming a lot of convenience. For example, now he and Lin Jianfan could sit on a bench by the road and drink yogurt together.

"I don't want to cook today, shall we buy something to eat later?" Gu Chaoming sat on the bench and sucked the finished yogurt.

Lin Jianfan replied, "It's tiring to cook every day."

Gu Chaoming smiled and turned his head, raised his hand and touched Lin Jianfan's head: "You still know that you feel sorry for your boyfriend, and you face the kitchen every day, wondering if you will change from a handsome guy to an uncle of soot."

Lin Jianfan bit the yogurt straw and laughed at him, and deliberately called him: "Uncle."

"Have you seen an eighteen-year-old uncle?" Gu Chaoming said.

"It's not you, uncle." Lin Jianfan said with a smile.

The light of the setting sun fell on Lin Jianfan's face. Gu Chaoming was most intoxicated by him who abandoned the past.

The sunset on the horizon, the wind in the afternoon, the flowers in the spring... are all brought to his world by the smiling Lin Jianfan.

Gu Chaoming tried to stop talking about his past in front of Lin Jianfan. Only when he could easily mention the past would he truly let go.

Gu Chaoming tried to start from the lowest level. He looked at Lin Jianfan's eyes that reflected the setting sun: "Actually, you let go of the past and be as confident as you are now, which is my favorite look."

Lin Jianfan was stunned for a moment. He looked at Gu Chaoming and looked into his own eyes. After being stunned, he laughed.

The sunset in his eyes is curved.

Lin Jianfan said, "Don't think back to the past. Thinking back on the past is like falling into a quagmire. The more you struggle, the weaker you become."

"Just because I'm smiling now doesn't mean I'm letting go, I just don't think about it. I didn't forgive them, and they didn't say sorry to me."

Lin Jianfan's eyes towards Gu Chaoming became more and more firm, and his words became firmer with his eyes: "I didn't forgive them, because they never apologized to me, even if they apologized to me, I don't know if I am so If you have a big stomach to forgive them, maybe you will forgive them with your mouth, but not in your heart."

"Actually, I just wanted to tell you at noon, 'If you don't want to forgive your dad, you don't have to forgive, it's okay.' They didn't even think about whether a light apology would undo the damage they caused. You told me it was their fault that they bullied me, not mine. I also wanted to say that your dad's beating up was his fault , your unforgiveness is not wrong."

Gu Chaoming looked at him, and there was something complicated in his eyes, which seemed to burst out vigorously, but was as deep as a sea of stars.

Lin Jianfan did not hesitate to say that he had not forgotten the past, and also told Gu Chaoming that his unforgiveness was not ruthless.

The rain that was pressing on Gu Chaoming's heart all afternoon poured down.

He stared at Lin Jianfan's eyes tightly and did not speak, but just stared, and the long stare made Lin Jianfan feel a little uncomfortable.

Lin Jianfan swallowed his saliva and wanted to speak, but he received the second sudden hug today.

Gu Chaoming hugged him, beside the bench by the roadside in the sunset.

Gu Chaoming heard someone pointing at them and whispering, the whisper was quite loud, and Gu Chaoming didn't care.

He hugged Lin Jianfan, who was frightened by his hug and then immediately eased, and said, "Thank you."

The ears rubbed, Lin Jianfan smiled and said, "It should be me thanking you."

I want to thank you too much, thank you for your hard work, thank you for not giving up, thank you for your company, thank you for your careful thinking, thank you for everything.

He used to be a shy person who only dared to say thank you in his heart when Gu Chaoming was lying on the table and fell asleep. Gu Chaoming's straightforward words made him want to express his feelings and express his gratitude.

When Gu Chaoming faced Gu Tao, he felt that his resistance was like hitting the air with a punch.

He fought against the world with his own violence, but he didn't expect to gain a warm heart from Lin Jianfan.

When God closes a door, he will definitely open a window for you, and behind that window stands Lin Jianfan.

Lin Jianfan learned from Gu Chaoming to express his closed emotions, and Gu Chaoming learned from Lin Jianfan how to treat the world gently.

Gu Chaoming let go of Lin Jianfan, pulled him up, stopped a taxi on the side of the road, shoved Lin Jianfan who did not know why, and told the driver to go back to their home.

Didn't you say you shouldn't go home for dinner? Lin Jianfan looked out the window and thought about the way home.

Gu Chaoming must have something he wants to do when he wants to go home. Lin sees Fan sitting quietly in the car and has no objection.

After getting out of the car, Gu Chaoming pulled him upstairs quickly. When I got home, I threw away the yogurt and other things I bought in the supermarket, and hurriedly said, "There are still dumplings in the refrigerator at home. Let's cook them and eat them."

"You came back by taxi just because you wanted to eat dumplings?" Lin Jianfan asked deliberately even though he knew it wasn't.

"Of course not, because I feel the safest at home."

No oversized whispers and gossip.

After finishing speaking, when Lin Jianfan walked in front of him, Gu Chaoming leaned down, and Lin Jianfan also looked at him with a smile.

The tip of the tongue touched the tip of Gu Chaoming's tongue, and the tip of Gu Chaoming's tongue seemed to carry some kind of special happiness factor. When the tip of the tongue touched, Lin Jianfan couldn't help but smile. He was poked by something soft defensively, and it tickled.

When he was supposed to be addicted, the person in front of him suddenly laughed, Gu Chaoming stopped and looked at Lin Jian Fan Mo's black eyes: "What are you laughing at?"

Lin Jianfan was still smiling, and he wanted Gu Chaoming to continue. He concealed his smile, but the curvature of the corner of his mouth couldn't fall. He said, "I don't know, I feel very happy for some reason."

"Really?" Gu Chaoming asked.

After speaking, the two of them were already close to a distance of ten centimeters. Gu Chaoming took a step forward and filled the ten centimeters. He raised his hands and gradually wrapped his arms around Lin Jianfan, staring at his falling star. Eyes, whispered: "I am also very happy, but my happiness is famous because you are here."

After Gu Chaoming finished speaking, he lowered his head and bit Lin Jianfan's lips, sending him a deeper kiss to express his famous happiness.