In Lin Jianfan's college entrance examination year, the spring came very early, and the summer was extraordinarily long. Lin Jianfan was packing his luggage and preparing to go to F University to report. It was the time when the summer heat continued unabated.
It's been a month of sunny days, and I haven't seen much rain this summer. I'm afraid the sweat from my back is more than this month's rain.
Walking home sweating profusely, the scorching sun mercilessly shone on Lin Jianfan's bare skin, and the sweat on his neck was wiped off again.
He stopped, looked up at the dazzling sun above his head, stepped on a small shadow under his feet, Lin Jianfan blinked, the dazzling sunlight caused physical discomfort to his eyes.
In the physical discomfort, Lin Jianfan raised his head to look at the fierce sun above his head, and smiled lightly.
He laughed.
Use the third smile that Gu Chaoming said.
He looked at the dazzling sunlight, as if looking into the future nine years later, and the scene where he would come to take care of Chaoming nine years later.
At that time, the wind must be gentle, and it must not be as hot as it is now. He thought that the day his boy returned home, he was a gentle world waiting for his return, and there were gentle people waiting for his return.
There is no need to be too enthusiastic, as long as Gu Chaoming is as enthusiastic as ever.
Lin Jianfan was on his way home, and tomorrow he was going to take a plane to the city where F University is located.
He's going to spend four years there, maybe longer. He moved from a city to the city where Gu Chaoming is located, and now he is going to move from here to a brand new and unknown city.
Before coming here, Lin Jianfan had countless fantasies on the roof of the school, who would meet him here, what would happen, whether it was light or darkness.
He thinks a lot, he struggles, he wants to escape.
He imagined that there was light in the distance, but he was afraid of falling into a deeper abyss.
But when he refused his mother's escort and proposed to his mother that he could go to the university alone, he was not afraid, because he believed that there was light in the distance and joy in the distance.
When he came to this new city and met Gu Chaoming who gave him joy, wasn't that the best proof
He won't meet the second Gu Chaoming, but he still has a future where he can work hard on his own.
He still has someone to wait for.
He wanted to be able to have his own little world when he picked that person home, even if he rented it. He wanted to put on his favorite clothes that day, he wanted to have a mature hairstyle nine years later, and take Gu Chaoming, who had returned to his world, to see the flowery world that he had worked hard for nine years.
He wanted to study hard and work hard in the nine years that Gu Chaoming was away, so that Gu Chaoming could see a shining version of himself after he came out.
This is not only his expectation, but also Gu Chaoming's expectation, Lin Jianfan understands.
The day before going to F University, Lin Jianfan went to see Gu Chaoming.
He told Gu Chaoming that he had packed his luggage and was leaving tomorrow, and it might take a long time to see him in the future.
Gu Chaoming seemed to accept it happily, as if he had thought of this for a long time, without the slightest surprise or reluctance, and asked him to make more friends in college.
Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jian Fan Xiao behind the glass, his boy was about to leave and went to a wider and wider place.
Gu Chaoming made a wish to the gods in his heart, that Lin Jianfan's good friends in college would sincerely treat him, not asking for everything, but only two or three.
May Lin Jianfan's life in the university go smoothly, even if there is a small trouble, it will be resolved smoothly.
May Lin Jianfan stay away from suffering, and all he encounters are warm things.
I make a wish to the gods in my heart, and the wish cannot be said. Gu Chaoming said only four words: "Be careful on the road."
Lin Jianfan looked at Gu Chaoming and his lips twitched slightly. Before he could answer, Gu Chaoming said again, "You should become an excellent photographer in nine years. People like me have been here for so many years. Don't waste your time on me."
"Don't waste your time on me." Lin Jianfan still heard this sentence.
When deciding on his university plan, Lin Jianfan thought about whether his efforts would bring about Gu Chaoming's inferiority complex.
His boy is such a person, stubborn and strong.
Lin Jianfan's heart was aching, and the boy who once took him out of the haze told him not to waste time on him.
Where is the waste? He clearly deserves it.
"You said that it was a waste of me to stay with you for nine years. Then you are wasting time on me by accompanying me to origami, visiting me every day, and taking me to the school I used to go to."
"Since you waste it, what's the point of my waste?" Lin Jianfan stared directly at Gu Chaoming's eyes through the glass, "Do you remember what you said on the rooftop? You said me Can I live for you? Now I have survived for you, you didn't give up on me then, do you want me to give up on you now?"
A transparent liquid slipped from the corner of his eye, not from the corner of Lin Jianfan's eyes who loved to cry. From the moment Gu Chaoming left him, he told himself to be strong and not cry in front of Gu Chaoming. Gu Chaoming gave him a solid arm when he was weak, how could he cry in front of Gu Chaoming when Gu Chaoming needed it.
Even if I couldn't help it, I could only shed tears to my heart.
Gu Chaoming's eyes were filled with tears, and he was brought to tears by Lin Jianfan's strong words.
After Gu Chaoming left him, Lin Jianfan suddenly became stronger, he aggressively reserved a place for him when taking graduation photos, he aggressively had to wait for him for nine years, and aggressively told Gu Chaoming that he would waste it with him.
Lin Jianfan would not have said these words before. Without Gu Chaoming, there was no one who he thought would go back to their rented home with him in college. Lin Jianfan forced himself to grow up and forced himself to be strong. Gu Chaoming was not hurt when he was in, so that he could give Gu Chaoming a reassuring hug.
Lin Jianfan said to Gu Chaoming, who had tears in his eyes, "I will wait for you to come out, and then we will fight for a better future together."
Gu Chaoming nodded.
Lin Jianfan smiled happily.
In front of Gu Chaoming, he was so strong that after he got out of the prison, he put away the strength that he had promoted before taking shape.
The weight of thousands of pounds in his heart was finally put down. Before Gu Chaoming nodded, he was really afraid that Gu Chaoming would refuse and would tell him not to wait any longer.
He was alone and helpless, and Gu Chaoming was his only persistence. If his only insistence collapses, then he can only sit on the ground and cry bitterly, as a wayward child protected by Gu Chaoming.
But he will have no Gu Chaoming for the next nine years.
He walked out of the prison and looked up at Lie Yang outside the prison. Lin saw Fan smiling, but Gu Chaoming did not reject him, but Gu Chaoming nodded.
With those who are waiting, Lin Jianfan's life has hope and direction, and he is full of fighting spirit.
The next day, Lin Jianfan got on the plane to F University, and came to the university that he wanted from high school.
As soon as he arrived at school, the weather gave him a slap in the face. Not necessarily how comfortable, Lin Jianfan is slowly adapting to the soil and water, and slowly adapting to this new land in the passing time.
The dormitory of F University is a four-person room with bed and table. Lin Jianfan found the dormitory with a suitcase by himself.
He was the last to arrive in the dormitory, and as soon as the door was opened, the other three in the dormitory turned their heads to look at him.
An inch head, a pair of glasses, a cool boy full of trendy brands.
This is Lin Jianfan's first impression of his roommate. Who would have thought that after only a month of being together, Lin Jianfan found out that their first impressions were all deceptive.
The first impression of short-headed boys on Lin Jianfan was the coldest. Lin Jianfan thought that he should be a very talkative person. After all, when he first arrived in the dormitory, Bunchou only glanced at him and turned his head away.
Unexpectedly, Cun Tou is actually the old mother of the three people in their dormitory. He wakes them up every day. When they don’t want to leave the dormitory door, he also helps to buy meals. He also turns off the lights at night. He is the most hard-working person in their dormitory.
At first glance, the glasses and the trendy men are not from the same world, and they have no common topics at all, but they stay together every day, sit together in class, watch variety shows together in the dormitory, and have night talks at night, talking about the girls in their school and games.
The first time we met, I thought they were people who were not easy to get along with, but it turned out that the coolest-looking trendy guy and the inch-headed guy were men who dared not fight against cockroaches. In the end, they relied on Lin Jianfan and Si Siwenwen's glasses and slippers. Shoot to death.
The glasses that sleep on Lin Jianfan's bed are much stronger and more vicious than the trendy men who play games with him every day.
A pair of gold-rimmed glasses is placed on the bridge of the nose, and the mouse cockroach is not a problem.
"No, it should be said that mice are more courageous than you."
But as soon as he takes off his glasses, he loses his combat effectiveness, and he can't even speak his tongue. Glasses are like a switch for him. Lin Jianfan once saw a fashion brand man stealing his glasses, the glasses man sitting at the table and scolding him, and the fashion brand man jumping around the dormitory with his glasses.
Whenever these situations occur, Bu Tou always lies on the bed and shakes his head: "This is the contemporary college student."
The two people in the dormitory were making trouble, the mother was watching a play, and Lin Jianfan was always doing his homework and studying at his desk.
Lin saw that Fan had far less time to go back to the dormitory than they did, so he decided to work hard to enrich himself and study hard in college life.
People who interact with him say he works too hard, and so does his roommate, but he just wants to make himself stronger and welcome the boy he has been waiting for in his best state.
He knew that Gu Chaoming wanted to see a high-spirited self, not a decadent self. Indulging himself in the pain of the past will only make him blame himself.
Lin Jianfan learned to be strong, to hide his heart, and never mention it to others. Concealment is his forte. He used to conceal himself for so long before, and his roommates thought he was a scholar who was addicted to studying all day long.
But no matter how strong he was, he had to spend nine years alone. Sometimes Lin Jianfan's fragility and loneliness could not be covered by the strength he worked hard to maintain.
A person came out of the library, bought some fruit and a bottle of yogurt, and returned to the dormitory to open the door and was alone.
The roommates didn't know where they were going, and when they took out their mobile phones, they found that several of them had sent him a message, asking him if he was going to dinner? He didn't pay attention to studying in the library.
Seeing that it was not too early, Lin Jianfan sat down on his seat, put the fruit on the table, and unscrewed the yogurt lid.
From a person walking out of the library back to a person's dormitory, from a person to a person. After unscrewing the bottle cap and taking the first sip of yogurt, Lin Jianfan suddenly burst into tears.
At that moment, he suddenly thought about Gu Chaoming very much.
He imagined that if Gu Chaoming was by his side, they should now be in their rented home, Gu Chaoming was cooking dinner in the kitchen, and he was learning cooking while making trouble.
Thinking of this, Lin saw the tears that Fan Jian had endured for so long. The yogurt in his hand was his favorite flavor, and on the day he took Gu Chaoming to escape from Gu Tao, Gu Chaoming said in the supermarket that he remembered the flavor of yogurt he liked to drink.
The past and the imagined future overwhelmed Lin Jianfan, leading him to the realm of grief.
About an hour later, the dormitory door opened, and the three who had finished eating walked into the dormitory, only to see Lin Jianfan who was still reading hard.
He never seemed to have an emotional breakdown in a dormitory alone.
The roommates asked him if he had eaten and why he didn't reply. He smiled and said he forgot.
There was a photo frame on Lin Jianfan's desk. In the photo frame was a photo he took of Gu Chaoming during the sports meeting.
In the photo, Gu Chaoming is wearing an inferior white shirt, sitting on the school playground and laughing. It was the day of the opening ceremony of the Games. Lin Jianfan was just passing by and secretly took a picture, but Gu Chaoming didn't know it.
The roommates asked him who the person in the photo was. Lin Jianfan only smiled. The rest of the people immediately understood what he meant and said curiously, "Oh~ when will you bring it over and let us see."
What he couldn't see, Lin Jianfan thought, if he could, he would also want to see him, and he wanted to fly back to see him, every day and every night.
"He can't come." Lin Jianfan only said.
"Can't come? Is he far from here?"
"That's it."
Lin Jianfan sometimes wondered, if those things hadn't happened and Gu Chaoming was still by his side, what would he be doing now. Will you accompany him to the library? Or play games and sleep? Thinking of this, he seemed to see Gu Chaoming by his side, always with him.
Lin Jianfan's handsome appearance is also pursued by many people in the university. When someone confessed to him, he refused.
He can no longer hold anyone in his heart, and his side is always empty. Eat alone, watch movies alone, go to the supermarket alone, but he knows that on that day, the seat next to him will always be filled by that person. He could eat with him, he could go shopping with him, he would hold his hand, kiss his forehead, and call him sweetheart.
In the past, all the girls who confessed to him were girls, but when Lin Jianfan was about to graduate, he was stopped by a boy.
At that time, Lin Jianfan was preparing to go back to the dormitory with his roommate Bunchou. Before he left the teaching building and heard someone call him, Lin Jianfan turned around and saw a boy in a gray suit.
Lin Jianfan didn't know him, but he seemed to have seen him somewhere.
Lin Jianfan asked his roommate to go back to the dormitory first, then walked over and asked him, "Who are you?"
He thought it was someone who was looking for him through someone else, but Lin Jianfan often encountered people who came to him through someone else, but the person said, "Take me as a stranger without a name."
Lin Jianfan was stunned when he heard this, and the man said, "I was rescued by you before, from a group of gangsters."
Lin Jianfan seemed to suddenly realize that he had saved a person. In the past few years, when Lin Jianfan remembered that incident, he couldn't remember what the person he saved was like.
The person in front of him said that he was the one who was rescued by him. Lin Jianfan glanced at him, and the person immediately said to him, "Actually, I like you, I have always liked you, and you are the driving force behind my life."
"I know that you work hard and your grades are good, so I also study hard and take the same university as you. The university works hard to improve itself before I dare to confess."
"I might not be able to catch up with your grades. At that time, I thought it was okay. If I didn't pass the test, I could try again, but now I know that it's useless no matter how much I like it. You have someone to wait for and someone you like. And I know that person I can't compare in my life, so you have to be together."
Lin Jianfan was the one who took him by the hand and led him to escape in the snowy night, and was the direction of his efforts in the rest of the world.
When Gu Chaoming made that sensation in the whole school, he was a sophomore in high school and was in the same grade as Qiu Cheng.
In places that Lin Jianfan and Gu Chaoming didn't know, he paid attention to Lin Jianfan and Gu Chaoming, who was kind to Lin Jianfan.
Knowing that Lin Jianfan was going back to school, he ran outside the third floor of the high school many times, wanting to find Lin Jianfan to thank him, but he just wandered outside the building.
He also paid attention to Gu Chaoming's affairs in all aspects, and learned that Gu Chaoming said in court that Lin Jianfan was bullied. He actually wanted to help Gu Chaoming to testify, but his family would not let him, and he was also timid.
He always felt that it was his fault that he didn't tell them, that he didn't testify. He always thought so, and he also felt guilty for his senior year review, but he didn't tell anyone and kept holding it back.
He looks very energetic now, and he doesn't look like he was bullied in high school in the past. It's normal for Lin Jianfan to not recognize him because he has changed too much.
Today was his birthday, he decided to let himself go, he found Lin Jianfan to express his thoughts.
He dressed up carefully and bought a suit specially. His roommates said he was going to confess, and he said yes.
Roommate Tao Kan asked what kind of person he was, but he didn't tell them, and the roommates laughed at him.
He knew Lin Jianfan's whereabouts, he could easily find Lin Jianfan, and he found Lin Jianfan and said those words.
He will speak his inner words to Lin Jianfan as a birthday present to himself.
Consider it your birthday present.
He clearly said that he liked him, but he also knew that his liking was insignificant. That is his self-struggle, and that love is mixed with chasing him.
Everyone needs to live with light, and there are cracks in everyone's life. That's where the light seeps in. When you look for the light of your own life, you may unintentionally become the light of others, shining a warm light from the cracks. Positive.
He will never forget the night when Lin Jianfan held his hand and ran under the street lamp, he stared at Lin Jianfan, the lamp shadow swayed on him, it was the first time someone was willing to help him.
He used to be bullied all the time, his figure shrank, no one understood, he was careful, he was his light.
Lin Jianfan inadvertently became the light of others, while his light was still suffering in the darkness.
Lin Jianfan looked at his back.
He walked through the dark corridor, and at the end of the corridor was Rong Rong Sunshine. The spring was bright, and his figure no longer shrank as before, he straightened his back, wore a meticulous silver-gray suit, and waved to him as he walked without looking back.
It was a farewell gesture.
He didn't know if he was saying goodbye to Lin Jianfan, or the high school love that he had never started, or the self who always huddled in the corner.