A few days after waking up from the dream, Lin Jianfan did something that he had never done willfully in his four years of college.
lie.
He got two days off shortly after he just returned to school by lying. He did nothing for the two-day vacation and bought a ticket home.
After listening to his broken-hearted roommate sing that song on KTV, he always wanted to do it, and it was only today that he willfully realized it.
Summer is not over, and every day after returning to school is a sunny day.
Every sunny day back at school, Lin Jianfan was thinking about Gu Chaoming all the time.
Get up and open the phone to see Gu Chaoming on the wallpaper. Sitting at the desk to study, I saw Gu Chaoming in the picture frame on the desk. When eating, he imagined that in a few years, he would be able to eat with Gu Chaoming, and he would bring Gu Chaoming to the place where he lived and introduce his favorite dishes.
When standing under the ginkgo tree at the school and waiting for people, he would imagine how good it would be Gu Chaoming who came to call his name. Passing by the school basketball court and seeing people playing in sportswear, he wished he would turn his head and see Gu Chaoming made a shot and made a three-pointer. Gu Chaoming smiled happily at him outside the block.
He wished that Gu Chaoming was by his side.
Gu Chaoming seemed to be by his side, in the world he imagined.
On a sunny day, Lin Jianfan couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to miss Gu Chaoming very much, he had just returned to school not long ago, and he had just met Gu Chaoming before returning to school.
Abandoning what he was supposed to do, he arbitrarily asked for leave and bought a ticket. Lin Jianfan ran to the beach where Gu Chaoming took him to on his birthday.
He was running, as if there was a driving force driving him and attracting him, he ran all the way, Gu Chaoming's smile, Gu Chaoming's words, Gu Chaoming who gave up on him kept flashing in his mind...
Looking at the street scene on the side of the road, recalling the road that Gu Chaoming took him to, and thinking about their youth, he suddenly wanted to cry.
He ran to the beach, as if he had found a place to belong.
The waves were surging, sparkling in the sunlight. The sun is very big and the sun is very warm, but he cried very sadly, the tears in the corners of his eyes finally couldn't help seeing the familiar sea.
Gu Chaoming said that to him and told him to give up. He waited so long, was alone, and was very tired. He knew that Gu Chaoming was also tired, but he didn't want to give up, but Gu Chaoming said to give up first.
He was really tired and tired. He thought he could bear it, but because Gu Chaoming's words seemed to be doubled.
He was really afraid that he would give up like this one day, and he didn't wait for him. He was not afraid that Gu Chaoming would not love him anymore, but he was afraid that he would give up on him.
He remembered that in the car on the day he came back from the previous school, he asked Gu Chaoming, "Is life going to get better?"
Gu Chaoming answered him like this - yes.
Life will get better, will it
Really
Life is not the same bitterness now, but in a different way.
He suddenly put his hands to his mouth and shouted to the sea, "Gu Chaoming, will life get better? Will it?"
He kept asking, he called to Hailang, he called to Shanhe, and he called to Feng.
No one answered him, only the surging waves and the chirping of birds were heard, but Lin Jianfan seemed to have obtained the answer.
It will, it will get better, even if life changes in a painful way, it will be different after all. Because he has someone who needs to wait, he has expectations, and he is only afraid that that person will give up, he is afraid.
Lin Jianfan figured it out. After thinking about it, he looked around and felt that he was a little hypocritical. He checked if there was anyone on the side of the road, wiped his tears, and Lin Jianfan immediately fled the beach.
After escaping from the beach, Lin Jianfan bought something on the road and went home. When he pressed the doorbell, his mother opened the door for him. When he saw Lin Jianfan who was going home with something, his mother's surprise was as expected by Lin Jianfan.
He hugged his mother and said, "I love you, Mom."
Lin Ma hugged him back, she felt something was wrong with Lin Jianfan. Lin Jianfan will not come back suddenly, nor will he express his love like this.
She asked, "What happened to your child?"
Lin Jianfan let go of his mother, held his mother's hand, looked directly at her, and said to her without flinching, "Mom, I have something to say to you."
In a home where only his mother was there, Lin Jianfan gave the things he bought to his mother, and Lin Jianfan also brewed her favorite tea for her mother.
He asked his mother to just sit comfortably on the sofa and wait for him. He made tea by himself, came over with the tea tray and saw his mother staring at him all the time. Lin Jianfan was so nervous that he swallowed his saliva and tried to hold the tea tray steady to calm himself.
He sat down on the sofa with the tea tray and put the tea tray on the coffee table.
The whole process of making tea, Lin Jianfan did it all, and handed the tea cup to his mother. The mother said why do you make it so formal at home, but Lin Jianfan just wanted to be more formal.
Make what he says next more formal.
He didn't just talk, and he didn't want his mother to think he was just talking.
The tea was steaming, and Lin Jianfan picked up his teacup and found a tea stalk standing upside down in the tea.
An upside-down tea stalk is a symbol of good luck.
Lin Jianfan smiled slightly, the upside-down tea stalk gave him great courage, he took a sip of tea, raised his head to face his mother and put down the teacup.
"Mom, I have something to tell you."
Lin Ma wanted to ask him what he had to say to make such a big fight, but she seemed to have guessed it. After all, she said something cruel to Gu Chaoming that even as a mother.
Gu Chaoming listened, but Lin Jianfan always chose to avoid it.
Lin Jianfan motioned to his mother not to interrupt him.
"What I say next is not casual or impulsive, and you know that I am not an impulsive person. What I say next may be difficult for you to accept, but I still say it because I know I It's the last thing to say."
"Mom," Lin Jianfan got closer to his mother, grabbed her hand, and looked into her eyes, "I must wait for him."
Lin Jianfan knew who he was in the mouth of the two people in the living room.
Lin Ma knew that her son had been waiting for him, and she also wanted to persuade Lin Jianfan to give up, but he couldn't say it to her own son, but she said it to someone else's son.
Said those cruel words.
After the incident, she also went to know about Gu Chaoming, and she knew what Gu Chaoming hid from her.
Gu Tao's death, Gu Tao's violence, Qu Yingyi's new family, and Qu Yingyi's new husband, have a little bit of trouble in Gu Chaoming's heart after the accident...
Gu Chaoming definitely couldn't go to the house that couldn't accommodate his mother, and Gu Tao also left, he had nowhere to go, no home. Even Lin Ma felt that Lin Jianfan's waiting was his only expectation, but she still said it was for her own children.
"Mom, Gu Chaoming and I... we... "
Lin Ma interrupted him: "I know."
The heat of the tea in her hand slowly disappeared, and she said, "Have you made up your mind?"
Lin Jianfan nodded, and Lin Ma said, "Just do it when you think about it."
Lin Jianfan looked at her mother's face, Lin Ma hugged Lin Jianfan and patted him on the back, widening her eyes to hold back her tears, she said to the poor child in her heart, "I'm sorry."
She shouldn't have said those things to him so selfishly.
sorry.
On the day of going back to school, his mother took Lin Jianfan to the station, and Lin Jianfan kissed his mother's cheek for the first time when they separated.
He was really happy, super happy.
He couldn't imagine that his relationship with Gu Chaoming required his mother's consent.
Mother was frightened by his sudden kiss: "People are so old, everyone is watching."
Although she said that, Ma Lin looked at Lin Jianfan's face in the sun at the station, she smiled, and he felt as if his son had finally returned.
She watched her son get into the car and waved to him at the station. The moving car carried Lin Jianfan away, and Lin Ma stood there waiting for him and Gu Chaoming to come back together.
She doesn't have high requirements for Lin Jianfan's other half, as long as she is nice to Lin Jianfan and Lin Jianfan likes him, that's enough.
Gu Chaoming has done both well.
She wanted to have a considerate, filial and filial family like Gu Chaoming - Lin Jianfan must be very happy.
Sitting on the high-speed train on the return journey, Lin Jianfan looked out the window, watching the rapidly receding scenery outside the window, the sunlight fell on his body through the window.
Lin Jianfan laughed.
He made the next decision, he was going to move out of the school dormitory and find a house by himself, to fulfill Gu Chaoming's promise to him, and when Gu Chaoming came out, they could have a home for them.
Nine years, but nine years, he can wait, and he can afford it.
Looking at the scenery outside the window, he spoke to Gu Chaoming alone.
"You told me before that when we were admitted to the same university, we would rent a house outside the school, so when I was preparing for the senior year exam, I couldn't help but think that our rental house must have a sunny man. The windows will have enough sunlight on sunny days, and you will not be afraid of humidity on rainy days. The curtains must block the light, and the bed must be soft, so that you can sleep comfortably and not be disturbed when you sleep.”
"I even think about those things, the table has to be the right height, and the carpet has to be soft, so that it's comfortable and doesn't slap the body."
"You would never have thought that I would think so much. At that time, I felt that the daily review days were too long, and the questions would never be completed. The beauty of the imagination and the fatigue of the review made me want to live in that rental house as soon as possible. I can't wait. When I opened my eyes, I slept on the soft bed in the rental house."
"I was too impatient, so I was always in a panic, and the time went by more slowly, but at that time, when Lao Chen talked to us, I immediately felt that time was back on track, not the slowness that made me anxious like before. ."
"Old Chen said: 'Maybe you feel that life is slow and difficult, there are unfinished homework and questions that you can't finish every day, but when you look back after this period of time, you will feel that the original Time flies so fast."
"Time is always just, it won't change his speed because of anyone, it's only you who is unjust. If you think reviewing is something you should do and be happy, then it will pass faster. If you think reviewing is painful, then it will naturally depend on you not to go. You always think about the pain of the moment and look forward to the college entrance examination soon. The college entrance examination will always come, before you know it, when you are not paying attention , it's here, you don't always have to pay attention.'"
"Nine years sounds like a long time, but it has a length, it always comes, it just comes quickly or slowly, it always comes."
Gu Chaoming will always come back, just think about him less.
As long as I miss you a little less, don't always count the days, as long as I don't do anything, I miss you, then the nine years will go by very, very quickly.
Only nine years.
Back at school, Lin Jianfan took out his savings, asked people around him for help, and searched the Internet by himself. After running around, he finally found a house that he was satisfied with.
The house with its own furniture has the soft big bed he wanted, and the floor-to-ceiling windows like the home Gu Chaoming rented before, which are larger than the previous floor-to-ceiling windows.
It's just that there is one less suitable table he wants. He went to the furniture city to choose carefully, and finally found a satisfactory table.
That table made Lin Jianfan feel that it was suitable for Gu Chaoming's height. He sat on it, and Gu Chaoming could kiss him with a comfortable bow.
Seeing this table in the furniture city, Lin Jianfan touched the table and missed Gu Chaoming.
He also bought a hanger for scarves to hang the red scarf he gave to Gu Chaoming.
Everything is ready, just waiting for the other master to return.
Waiting for Gu Chaoming's return, waiting, waiting for another new year.
On the first day of the New Year, which was covered with fine snow, Lin Jianfan went to the cinema to watch this year's New Year films as usual, as usual in the past few years. Every year, Lin Jianfan would go there.
One person, two tickets.
The seat beside him was empty, waiting for Gu Chaoming to come back.
He will be back soon.
In the dark theater, Lin Jianfan was dressed warmly and surrounded the red scarf he gave to Gu Chaoming. He wears it every year, so much so that people who have known him for a long time ask him why he wears the same scarf for so many years.
Lin Jianfan just smiled and did not speak.
He obviously picked a comedy, a New Year's Eve movie, but he fell asleep.
Lin saw that Fan Meng went to the past, he and Gu Chaoming watched a movie together, and dreamed that Gu Chaoming was sitting next to him and talking about the plot with him, as if it was just yesterday.
He suddenly woke up from the dream, and was afraid that Gu Chaoming would say that he was not serious about watching movies.
When he woke up and saw that there was no one around him, he smiled and had another dream.
Before the movie ended, Lin saw that Fan had no interest in watching after he woke up. He scratched his hair and stood up. When he stood up, he suddenly saw a boy with a profile like Gu Chaoming walking past the screen.
Knowing that Gu Chaoming couldn't be here, and knowing that it was definitely not him, Lin Jianfan chased after him.
There was a whole staircase between him and that person. The cinema was dark and the New Year's film was laughing. Lin Jianfan ran down the stairs amid the laughter of the cinema audience.
Lin Jianfan ran very fast, as if he was afraid that he would go away. The cinema was too dark. When Lin Jianfan fell down the stairs, he was helped by the cinema staff. After thanking him, he continued to chase.
When he ran out, he didn't see the boy again. After realizing what he was doing, he also knew that it was definitely not Gu Chaoming, but he just missed him too much.
Maybe it's because I miss you so much, the people I see are like you, and the voices I hear are like you.
When Lin Jianfan's shoulder fell, he thought of washing his face in the toilet. When I walked to the toilet of the cinema, I splashed water on my cheeks with my hands, and there was a sudden sound of the door opening from the toilet next to me.
The world in front of him was blurry, and the sound of the door opening was a key to open the door of Lin Jianfan's memory.
Many years ago, he fled the classroom out of fear, and the memory of meeting Gu Chaoming, who was smoking in the toilet, came to his face.
drown him.
It was the same as that day, the same blurry world, the same sound of the door opening, but he knew it was definitely not Gu Chaoming.
Lin Jianfan propped his hand on the sink, pretending to straighten his hair, and saw the boy walking by from the mirror in front of him.
He didn't dare to look at it, but it was definitely not Gu Chaoming.
After the boy left, Lin Jianfan looked at himself in the mirror and laughed at himself: "It's definitely not him, what are you thinking, he's still waiting for you to pick him up, he's still waiting for you, he knows that you will definitely laugh at you like this. "
Lin Jianfan looked at himself in the mirror and thought so, with a light tone in his heart, but he suddenly burst into tears, burst into tears, and the depression of the past few years broke out at this moment.
He didn't know why he was crying. He had survived so many years, and Gu Chaoming was about to come out.
He just wanted to cry, he just missed him, like a child losing his temper, it didn't make sense.
It turned out that I thought of him this way, it turned out that one person can think of another person like this, and think of crying.
Gu Chaoming, I really miss you.
He used to think that there was no problem for nine years, but now he has given up, he really misses him.
Gu Chaoming, I miss you so much.
Lin Jianfan squatted down slowly while holding the toilet sink, hugging his knees in a self-protection state, resting his head on his knees, and his pants and knees were dizzy with tears.
A person who went to the toilet saw him like this and came up and asked with concern, "What's the matter with the boy? Is there any discomfort?"
Lin Jianfan didn't dare to look up, afraid that others would see the tears on his face, Lin Jianfan buried his face in his knees and said, "No, thank you."
As soon as the man left, Lin Jianfan immediately fled to the toilet cubicle.
After tidying up and walking out of the cinema, the cold wind blew on his face. Seeing that Fan had put on the scarf, Lin buried his chin and face in the scarf, and said in his heart, "Chaoming, I did something very humiliating today."
Whether Gu Chaoming has just started going in or is about to come out, Lin Jianfan always goes to see him when he has time.
He told Gu Chaoming that he had already told his mother about their relationship. His mother didn't mind, and said that when he returned home, Gu Chaoming seemed not to believe it.
When he didn't believe in the world, Gu Chaoming told him over and over how much he loved him, and even if the world didn't love him enough, he would use his love to make up for the world's lack of love for him.
Now that Gu Chaoming didn't believe it, Lin Jianfan could only tell him over and over again how hard he worked for the future of the two of them.
Study hard, persevere, set up that home, get parental approval, and tell you—you don’t need to feel inferior at all, I’m no different from you.
You are not homeless, and I am waiting for you.
When you come out, I will welcome you with open arms and let you feel my warmth the first second you come out.
No matter what others think of you, I will always love you.
Who let you be with me when I needed company, and now you want to get rid of me.
Hmm, it's too late.
Every time Lin sees Fan, he encourages him and tells him how much he loves him as he did to himself in the third year of high school.
Gu Chaoming was always silent, listening silently, and did not refuse his visit.
Gu Chaoming was reluctant, he wanted to see Lin Jianfan.
Eleven out of ten.
He was reluctant to refuse and couldn't respond. He believed everything Lin Jianfan said and believed that Lin Jianfan loved him as he said, but he couldn't make himself believe that Lin Ma accepted his words.
That was what Lin's mother said to him herself, and she silently strangled him and Lin Jianfan's future hopes in just a few words of mother caring about her son.
He couldn't refuse not to see Lin Jianfan, and he had to respond to Lin Jianfan with silence. Whenever Lin Jianfan was talking and choked up, Gu Chaoming wanted to hug him to comfort him, hug him like before, and cover their small home with a heavy blanket.
But he can't.
He didn't have a thick and warm blanket, he only had the choked Lin Jianfan and the cold glass, which was the opposite of warmth.
Lin Jianfan finally waited for Gu Chaoming's different response. Gu Chaoming heard Lin Jianfan's suppressed choking, and couldn't help laughing slowly.
The corner of his mouth smiled, but his heart was bitter.
Gu Chaoming smiled and said, "I really want to eat the sweet and sour pork ribs you made again, because it's really hard to eat."
Finally waiting for Gu Chaoming's response, Lin Jianfan shrank his nose and held back tears: "I'll do it for you when you come out."
"Nobita is still waiting for Doraemon to come home."
When Lin Jianfan said this, Gu Chaoming's tears flowed back at an unstoppable speed and rushed into Gu Chaoming's red eyes.
Eye sockets could not stop such an impact.
The first tear fell down his cheeks, Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan, saw Lin Jianfan's face smiling at him, Gu Chaoming raised his head and bit his lower lip to take back the tears.
He didn't know if he could stop the attack, and countless tears flowed back from the bottom of his heart. The tears that had been forced into his heart for nine years were fully resisted by Lin Jianfan's words.
Gu Chaoming, who raised his head to take back his tears, burst into tears, and he couldn't help it.
He lay down on the table and cried.
Nine years of missing and inferiority complex, nine years of yearning and nostalgia, all melted in Gu Chaoming's continuous gushing tears.
"I miss you so much." Gu Chaoming cried bitterly to Lin Jianfan.
"Me too." Lin Jianfan touched the crying Gu Chaoming through the glass.
Cold glass, warm palm.
Gu Chaoming's palm was pasted behind the glass, and they touched each other through the cold glass.
Hold the opponent tightly.
With tears in his eyes, Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan's face.
When he saw Cao Zhan lying in a pool of blood, he thought, "Let me protect him."
He always thought that he was a hairy boy who couldn't do anything well. At that time, he thought he was protecting him, but Ma Lin's words made him feel even more that he couldn't protect him.
Lin Jianfan waited for him for so long, but he still wanted to work hard.
This time, he is not alone to protect, but together.