No matter how dazed I was, I couldn't escape my cram school.
I have heard about the attitude of Cen Xili's parents about Cen Xili, they think there is something wrong with their son. In the office, I also heard Cen Xili's mother scolding him. Old Chen helped Cen Xili speak, but I didn't.
Like someone who was liked by Cen Xili but disliked him, I stood by indifferently.
For the first half of the summer vacation, I regretted why I didn't express my own feelings, why I didn't admit my own likes, and why I brought Cencil to this situation and put myself above him.
In the first half of the summer vacation, I was going crazy with regrets. I couldn't concentrate, and I always thought about Cen Xili. The teachers asked me to go home and rest for a while, but it was pouring rain outside the window.
Braving the pouring rain, I went home alone with an umbrella. Instead of asking my mother to pick me up, I got on the bus alone.
"The last multiple-choice question in mathematics is B. I asked the teacher." On the bus, I held a bracelet and sent a message to the classmates in the cram school with one hand.
As soon as I looked up, I realized that the rain had stopped. Unfortunately, I was already soaked, and my trouser legs were still dripping. Fortunately, my upper body was still dry, so I didn't feel so uncomfortable.
The vehicle started, and I chatted with my friends from the cram school. The car stopped, I looked up again, and on the street where the heavy rain stopped outside the window, Cen Xili was standing at the edge of the station, looking at me in the car.
His hair was thrown up in a mess, and his body was soaked, dripping slowly. He looked at me with wet eyes, maybe because he was soaking wet, and his amber eyes were like glass marbles falling in a lake.
Clear and glowing white water.
The bus had already started, and Cen Xili's figure slowly moved backwards.
I grasped the ring in my hand, and was stunned for a while, then suddenly shouted to the driver, "I want to get off."
"What kind of car did you get off?" The driver said impatiently, and didn't stop.
"Stop the car, I want to get off." I shouted again anxiously, and everyone in the car looked at me.
"Don't play with your phone, and let me stop after a stop." The driver's tone was a little unpleasant, but he stopped the car and opened the door under my third emphasis.
The car was not far away, I jumped out of the car clutching my phone, saw Cen Xili still there, and ran towards him.
Cen Xili raised his head when he heard the footsteps, saw me running towards him, and immediately ran in the opposite direction.
I don't know what happened to Cen Xili, I just guess it has something to do with his parents, and the reason why his parents who love him can force him to come out in the rain, I think it's only me.
I followed Cen Xili through an aisle I didn't know, and turned a few more aisles. I felt a little hot, and I was surrounded by streets and shops I didn't know.
"Xili!" I chased after him, my voice panting.
"You stop."
"What’s wrong with you?"
I turned into a road that I didn't know, and I can't remember where it was, where it came from, and which street I ran through.
I'm not familiar with this area, it's no longer a main street, it's a miscellaneous small street with various shops lining the roadside.
A small restaurant, a tailor's shop... and a small bookstore hidden in it.
where is this? Without catching up to Cen Xili, I looked around the unfamiliar streets and walked around for a while.
I didn't dare to go too far, I just wandered around the shops along the street.
Cen Xili ran away, and I was lost too.
"Xili?"
I called out his name softly, for fear of disturbing the people in the nearby shop.
"Xili?"
"Xili?"
After shouting a few times, it was confirmed that he was not here. I looked at the sky, afraid of another heavy rain, and prepared to go home.
I didn't know that at this moment, Cen Xi was standing on the second floor of the bookstore behind me, looking at me looking for a way outside.
The owner of the bookstore was an old grandfather with white hair and a thick book in his hand. Seeing Cen Xili hurried up to the second floor, he didn't say anything.
"Your partner doesn't seem to know the way, are you really going to leave him out?" the old man suddenly said.
Cen Xili glanced down, and the old man also looked at him, but Cen Xili didn't answer.
The old grandfather looked at him and looked at me outside, withdrew his gaze, and turned a page of the book.
Cen Xili stared at my confused back outside the bookstore, sighed deeply, and stepped downstairs with the sound of the old man turning pages.
When Cen Xili came over, I was still squatting on the side of the road and swiping my phone.
Cen Xili asked me in a normal tone as possible, "Why are you here?"
It's like they met me on the street by chance.
I saw him and stood up a little worried.
Cen Xili walked up to me and said, "I'll take you back."
I didn't ask him why he was running, I just walked beside him and followed the way he walked back.
I took off my still-dry coat and handed it to him.
Cen Xili glanced at my hand, then at my face, and finally took off his wet jacket and put it on.
Finally got a little warmer.
Cen Xili took me out of the twisted streets and walked to the station. Finally, I saw a familiar road. I didn't leave. I sat at the station and waited for the bus with Cen Xili.
I touched Cen Xili's forehead, afraid that he would catch a cold and have a fever. Cen Xili felt the temperature of my palm, and he retreated slightly, and my hand was immediately attached again.
After touching my forehead, I touched Cen Xili's hand again.
My hands are warm, so warm that Cen Xili's hands are particularly cold.
I asked him if he was uncomfortable, and Cen Xili just shook his head.
The bus came. The later the day, the more people there were. Cen Xili and I were crowding the bus together in wet pants.
"I'll stop at the front." I said to Cen Xili.
Cen Xi immediately took off his jacket and gave it back to me, I shook my head: "No."
I don't know what happened to Cen Xili that day. If Cen Xili didn't talk about it when he was in college, I would never know that he quarreled with his family that day to protect me and protect me from being scolded by his mother.
After Cen Xili and his mother had quarreled, they ran out. When they ran out, they encountered a heavy rain and got wet, and they happened to meet me who was going home.
I didn't know the whole story until I was in college, but I don't know what kind of inferiority I felt when I walked to the station when Cen Xili suddenly saw me on the bus parked on the side of the road, swiping my phone.
When you like a person, no matter what he is doing, it is good-looking and attracts you. Even if he's just swiping his phone normally, it's still exciting, and even if it's just a casual glance from him, you can't take your eyes off it.
When you like a person, his beauty is multiplied and multiplied, and his own unbearableness is proportional to his beauty. His own unbearableness is constantly magnifying, magnifying, and magnifying to the point of swallowing himself up.
Too bad, myself, Cen Xi thought as he ran.
The sticky clothes on his body wrapped him like spider mucus.
There was wind blowing by my ears, and my body felt the temperature of the wind.
I was chasing behind, I don't know why Cen Xili was running, so I could only keep chasing.
I don't seem to know a lot of things. I didn't know that Cen Xili was cared by his family after returning home, and he was scolded while caring.
I didn't know that Cen Xili went home and changed into dry and comfortable clothes, and turned around to see the coat I gave him from the bed.
Cen Xili sat on the edge of the bed and slowly stroked my coat with his fingers. With a smile at the corner of his mouth, he stroked the cuff of his coat, which I used to press test papers. I stroked the collar of my coat, which had touched the back of my neck and the ends of my hair. Cen Xili picked up the jacket and stroked the place where the letter logo was printed in the upper left corner, which was close to my heart.
A sudden bell rang in the bedroom where only Cen Xili could be heard breathing.
The call was made by me, and Cen Xili answered the call. The familiar voice on the other end of the phone made my hand holding the phone stiff for a moment, and my heart paused for a beat, then continued to beat violently.
"Hey?"
Cen Xili didn't answer.
Worrying about the accident, I asked again, "Hello? Xili?"
Cen Xili swallowed, pressing down the blood that was pouring into his head, and said in a cold tone, "Well."
"Are you home yet?"
"Um."
"It's good to be home."
"What's the matter with you?"
There was a sudden silence for a minute before I couldn't help but say, "It's easy to catch a cold on such a day, remember to measure the temperature, I'm fine, so I'll hang up first."
I was about to hang up when Cen Xili said, "Wait."
"What's wrong? Is there anything else?"
"That... thank you for today."
Cen Xili's words were only a few short words, but they broke through the many barriers in his heart. After going back and forth in his stomach, he spat out from his mouth after traveling through mountains and rivers.
Before Cen Xili spoke, he was afraid that he would accidentally say three other words.
I didn't expect him to say this, and it took me a few seconds to say, "It's alright, are you alright?"
"Um."
"Then I hang up?"
"it is good."
After that, I went to the science department, and Cen Xili stayed in the second class. The chance for us to meet was pitiful compared to the daily meeting in the first year of high school.
Shortly after the second year of high school, I heard someone in the class say that Cen Xili and Gu Chaoming from the second class seemed to have gone to the infirmary, and the paper on his hands was full of blood.
They didn't explain it clearly. I thought it was Cen Xili who was injured. I lied and told the teacher that I wanted to go to the toilet, but ran to the infirmary.
Pushing the door in and taking a glance, I was just looking to see if Cen Xili was injured, but in that case, it seemed that everything had changed.
When the doctor asked me if it was a man or a woman, I deliberately said it was a woman and went to see Cen Xili's response, and I was very satisfied with the result.
In such a despicable way that I hated myself, I tried to test whether he still liked me.
When I left the infirmary, I threw the medicine into the trash can, and was accidentally seen by Su Bing, who looked at me with a look of "Are you sick?"
I was always put in a dilemma by myself because of my own lack of seeds.
Looking at Cen Xili's eyes, there was clearly nothing in his eyes, and with his lowered eyes, it also took on a different color. My eyes are obviously flat, but because of the excessive height difference, I have a bit of contempt.
Seeing Cen Xili pulling Gu Chaoming and Su Bing away again and again, I realized how much I love Cen Xili.
When I found out that I was in love with Cen Xili, I had reached the point where I couldn't help myself.
It was a real accident that I didn't find that I liked your previous encounter, but the encounter after I found out that I liked you was a deliberate accident.
I started to go to the liberal arts class when I had nothing to do, and went to the liberal arts class for a walk, just hoping to catch a glimpse of Cen Xili at the window of the second class.
There are many people around me, but one of you is missing.
There are many people around me, but I only have you.
I can't seem to be like you with others...
friend
This term was rejected by me.
It is not difficult for me to like it, but it will be after I like you.
I kept following Cen Xili's movements. I saw Cen Xili studying with Gu Chaoming and the others from the second class, and there was a new classmate in their class opposite Gu Chaoming.
I know they will definitely talk about me again.
At the Games, I was forced by Chen Haiyang to send me to the starting point of long-distance running.
On the day of the game, I was going to be mad. Not only did I lose the game, but Su Bing and the others looked down upon me. Cen Xili's water was also given to Gu Chaoming.
Hmph, tell you not to buy it for me! I left angrily.
At the time, I was angry and went to the canteen to buy water myself.
If you don't give it to me, I will buy it myself.
Thinking about it now, it's a little too childish.
Besides, when school was over on the evening of the sports day, I was upstairs peeking at Cen Xili and petting the kitten, but the water bottle in my hand just fell off accidentally. Bing nearly charged me with murder.
Being scolded and beaten, I wanted to fight back, but when I saw Cen Xili's eyes, I panicked again.
There are things that make me angry, and there are things that make me happy.
Touching Cen Xili's back in the cafeteria, I did it on purpose, who made Cen Xili chat so happily with them.
One day, Chen Haiyang asked for leave and didn't come. I was alone, and I saw Cen Xili was also alone.
There are always others around Cen Xili, especially Gu Chaoming and Su Bing, he is rarely the only one. I walked towards him, nervous and excited.
Cen Xili didn't know that my excitement was no less than his.
Cen Xili smiled at me. I didn't seem to have seen him smile at me for a long time. I couldn't help being stunned.
Many encounters are actually made by me. I don't remember the day. Anyway, that man seems to be Gu Chaoming's father
A few people were standing in the school, and I took Cen Xili to go first. I just said "don't get too close to Gu Chaoming and the others" on the way, and Cen Xili came back.
When Cen Xili left me and rode away, I realized that what I said was too much.
I consciously delivered breakfast to Cen Xili, and I chose Cen Xili's favorite xiao long bao.
The xiao long bao, which I was protecting so much from the cold, was brought to the table by Gu Chaoming. I deliberately went over to ask the monitor of the second class to pretend that something was wrong. I didn't expect the monitor to say that. Bing stared.
Maybe I'm not innocent, but self-inflicted.
It was very difficult to call Cen Xili to wish him a happy New Year during the Chinese New Year, and it was to death.
I just wanted to hear his voice, holding the phone and looking at the string of phone numbers for a whole day before I dared to press it.
"Happy New Year."
A firework happened to explode in the sky, and the electric current took the wind to send the sound of fireworks to him. I wonder if the person heard it.
In the new year, I am still the one who has no seeds. Sometimes I feel like I'm a vase, just a container. Whatever my parents put in it, I am what I am, and I have no choice.
In some ways I felt cowardly myself, but the kiss after the chorus competition made me feel like I was a little saved.
As long as I don't say it to others, but only to myself, I admit that I am jealous.
Because of this awkward relationship between me and Cen Xili, my source of vinegar has never been cut off.
Maybe I like Cen Xili more than I realize, Su Bing put on Cen Xili's shoulder, I want to tear Su Bing's hand off, not to mention Guan Hui who suddenly popped out.
The life I thought would go on like this was completely disrupted by Guan Hui.
Guan Hui always sticks to Cen Xili's side, and the red light of crisis never goes out.
I started my misunderstood behavior again. I took Cen Xili away in front of Guan Hui, and I showed off in front of Guan Hui that I knew that Cen Xili would not come today, but I didn't express my intentions. I seemed to make people feel more scumbag.
When a rival in love appeared, I also had a quarrel with my family. The reason is that You Hao's score was higher than mine this time, and my father was not doing well in business, so he scolded me when he saw my score.
I endured his gratuitous scolding, and I finally couldn't help fighting back.
I screamed at my dad with all my strength. It was the first time I lost my way, and it was the first time my dad saw me like this. He was frightened by me, and I was frightened by myself.
Noticing that I was out of control, I ran back to the room after yelling.
I was in a very bad mood, so I called Cen Xili and wanted to ask Cen Xili to come out and accompany me.
At that time, Cen Xili was traveling with Gu Chaoming and the others.
I knew I was doing it to the extreme, but I still made that call and got Cen Xili's approval.
I asked You Hao to help me, lied that I had gone to tutoring, and asked him to ask for leave for me. My life was almost overwhelmed with tuition and I couldn't breathe.
You Hao and I rode to the appointed place together. When Cen Xili saw You Hao, You Hao greeted him very kindly.
When I introduced You Hao to Cen Xili, Cen Xili seemed surprised: "Do you still have a younger brother?"
I smiled: "My cousin."
Every year during Chinese New Year, my parents, my mother and my uncle are always comparing, and You Hao and I play games behind closed doors.
The affair between Cen Xili and I inevitably spread to my uncle's house. My uncle thought it was a scandal, and my parents felt that I had embarrassed them.
He specially came to my house to ask me, one day I was angry with Guan Hui, and You Hao came to see me at my house.
When the door was opened by my mother, You Hao and my mother went upstairs politely and got angry when they saw me sitting beside the bed, and asked me, "What's wrong?"
I said it was fine, I didn't want to say that You Hao didn't ask.
You Hao wasn't as well-behaved as he appeared, he lied to my mother, took me out for a drink, and sneaked me back.
That was one of the things that went too far in my youth.
In my painless youth, except for Cen Xili, there seemed to be no other major events. All my life is filled with learning. I was shocked when I heard about Gu Chaoming when I was about to graduate.
I thought I was going to be a fool for the rest of my life, maybe it was the experience of the cold war with my dad since that quarrel, and I helped Gu Chaoming.
I don't want Cen Xili's story to repeat itself, and I don't want to be useless again.
For the first time, I took a stand in the crowd, condemning their gossip, and I condemned my own lack of seed.
All of us, including me, are hurting Cencil. I don't want to be useless anymore, I'm in my third year of high school, and I want to take control of my life.
The road paved at home is naturally comfortable, but I don't want to be a doll, I want to go for it with my own strength.
On the day of graduation photo shoot, I was taking pictures with other classmates, but I saw that Cen Xili was persuading Lin to see Fan, so I raised my phone.
I don't know which of my muscles cramped, I called out Cen Xili's name, maybe it was the graduation photo reminding me that we were about to separate.
The reminder of the graduation photo is not enough, I haven't felt that Cen Xi, who turned his head on the phone, is about to leave me.
It was only after graduation that I really felt my separation from Cen Xili when I was having dinner with old friends who were about to part ways.
They recalled high school, and suddenly someone mentioned Cen Xili and said, "That kid is persistent and likes us You Xin for so many years, hahaha, after graduation, you will never have to see him again."
It was when I heard the words "never have to see him again" that I really realized that the separation was going on.
It is no longer near, but in progress. When I get to college, I really may never see him again.
Even though there was a lot of excitement around me, I still felt empty.
I was suddenly panicked. The college entrance examination was over, and we were about to go to the next destination. I was afraid that I could only become the former classmate Cen Xili said.
I'm afraid that when he talks about me to his future boyfriend, he will say, "I used to like someone very much, but ah, I gave up."
I called him in a panic, wanting to tell him that I like him, but my liking sounded so reluctant to Cen Xili's ears.
I even cried.
Rather than waiting for you, I'd rather hear someone say to me "Don't move, I'll come here", only Cen Xili said that to me
The goddess of luck looked after me, Cen Xili came to pick me up, and he promised me.
Humans are separate individuals and can never empathize with them. Everyone grew up in a different environment, experienced different things, met different people, and heard different words from childhood to adulthood. Even standing in the same place blowing the same gust of wind and hearing the same sound of leaves, the feelings are also different. Yes, like you told me you know I love you, I love you as much as you do, but you don't know how much I love you.
Cen Xili will never know how much I like him, I can only let him know in the future.
I couldn't be in the same university as Cen Xili, but our universities are very close. To make up for my high school damage, I juggled him while juggling my studies.
He always said that I was too jealous, and a boy in his class who liked to touch him was pushed away by me.
Heaven doesn't know how much I hate that boy. He is obviously interested in Cen Xili, and Cen Xili still believes what he said and said that he was just friends with him.
"Bah, do you believe him?"
Cen Xili looked at me: "Why do you feel that the more you live, the more naive you are?"
I:"… …"
Fortunately, the boy left Cen Xili under my threat.
After finally graduating and working, we have our own small home.
Cen Xili framed the group photo I took to him after the games and put it on the bedside table in the bedroom so that he could see it every day.
The sun was just right at that time, the green leaves were flourishing, and the boy was still by his side now.
Cen Xili and I are not good at cooking. After living together, cooking has become a big problem. At the beginning of learning to cook, we still eat takeout in the end, but I especially like the feeling of shopping with Cen Xili and returning to their home.
In late autumn, on the road, Cen Xili was carrying a bag of snacks, and I was carrying a bag of vegetables and a carton of milk.
The maple leaves on the side of the road fell, and there was no one around. Cen Xili was still calculating how much money we spent. Cen Xili looked at me tenderly, and I smiled at him with the corners of my mouth raised.
Cen Xili also smiled, like a child.
I held the vegetables and milk in one hand and held his hand. Cen Xili was stunned for a moment. The smile was replaced by surprise, and the cheerful words suddenly stopped. I just smiled.
When I got home, Cen Xili and I were cooking together. Cen Xili looked well-organized but frizzy when cooking. I accidentally broke a bowl. In the pool, he was going to pick it up. I was afraid of cutting his hands, so I wouldn't let him pick it up, but Cen Xili insisted that he come.
Cen Xili was disobedient, so I could only hold his armpit, lift it to him, put it aside, and pick it up myself.
Cen Xili couldn't help blushing, with a shallow smile on his face.
We will be like an agreement, whoever comes back first will look on the edge of the balcony to see if the other party has come back. Seeing the other party walking on the road full of maple trees, I felt extra relieved.
Sometimes I see Cen Xili walking on the road on the balcony. Cen Xili raises the plastic bag in his hand to show me, which contains the things we need at home and our favorite snacks.
The autumn wind stained the boy's eyebrows, so it blew away gently.
When I was in high school, I felt that I was too tall, and the height gap between Cen Xili and Cen Xili was too big. I was also troubled by this, and I hoped that I would not grow any longer. It was not what I wanted to be so tall.
It wasn't until I was with Cencil that I learned to properly use the height difference between us.
After taking a shower, he went back to the bedroom to prepare for bed. He saw Cen Xili lying on his side and listening to music with headphones on, but he didn't notice my arrival.
I was standing behind him and he didn't even send.
I approached him, lay on the bed and took off an earphone and put it on myself, he looked up at me.
I took advantage of the situation and hugged him from behind. I really liked that Cen Xili was as tall as a small animal being hugged.
As the New Year is approaching, I have not been home for the New Year for several years. High school quarreled with his father, although it was released, it did not mean reconciliation. I still have nothing to say to him.
Cen Xili encouraged me to go home for the Chinese New Year, and I set foot on my way home.
Going home was just another quarrel with my father, and I angrily rushed out of the house despite my mother's obstruction. Since I quarreled with my father once in high school, I don't seem to be the me I used to be. I don't know if I'm getting better or worse, but I've come this far, so be it.
Walking on the cold New Year street, I called Cen Xili.
When Cen Xili returned to his hometown, I heard the noise from his side, and the dialect blocked my ears.
He must be chatting with his family, and I remember calling him sneakily and tremblingly during the New Year when I was young, and wanting to hear the sound of fireworks for him. At that time, it seemed that I could be together after hearing the same fireworks, and I couldn't help laughing at myself on the street.
I said to Cen Xili, "Happy New Year."
Cen Xili looked at the fireworks outside the window and said, "Well, happy new year"
I heard the excitement around him and heard him laugh.
The author has something to say: The extra story is over! At this point, the book "The World With His Existence" has officially ended. It happens to be Children's Day on June 1st. I wish you all a happy Children's Day on June 1st!
Thank you little angels for your company. Your company is very important, it is the driving force for me to persevere, thank you again ( ' - ' * )
Every time I receive your comments, my little transparent author is very happy (I have remembered your names)
Hope to see you again in the next article, the next "Aoye" (look at my waving hands)
"False Love Rival" will also be updated!
Next is my ramble (covering face)
From January 7th when the article was published to June 1st today, almost five months, half a year ago, I still remember that day I learned how to make the cover, how to post, and how to use Jinjiang (dbq, I didn’t know it until I posted) , until now I can finally mark the end of my first work, but I am not used to it, because this book has accompanied me for a long time, from posting to writing, thinking every day, and come to Jinjiang to see it.
When I was thinking about it, I didn't think that Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan's personalities were difficult to confess and fall in love. When I saw your comments urging me to get them together, I realized that one of them is introverted and the other looks like Outgoing people who are actually too timid about emotional matters, it is a bit difficult to pierce that piece of paper.
In fact, when you urged them to be together, I was also a little anxious, but I still didn't speed up because I felt that they should be like this. An 18-year-old child who cares about emotions thinks that he should be responsible for saying that. Gu Chaoming is such a person, due to family reasons.
As for Lin Jianfan, I actually think he is braver than Gu Chaoming. After all, he dared to rush forward and confessed, which was different from Gu Chaoming's somewhat conservative appearance. He yearns and loves, so he is willing to pierce that layer of window paper.
I remember I replied to a comment at the beginning, saying that they were two pieces of ice melting each other in the sun, melting into the same pool of water, not two fires, melting into one ball. I don't mean to procrastinate, it just feels like this is the real them, and it's just enough to go with the flow.
Regarding Liu Yi and Fang Niya, these two characters who may not have a lot of ink in the text, in my conception, it is not just a cutscene. The existence of Liu Yi gave Gu Chaoming's childhood more sunshine than his mother. After all, Gu Chaoming's life was too difficult.
Since childhood, the life that was too difficult for a child led to Gu Chaoming's sensitive and inferior character. He buried the blood in his heart deeply, thinking that he was rotten and different from others. But when he thought so himself, a small gesture still made Fang Niya fall in love with him.
You may think you are bad, but there will always be someone who sees you as some peaceful resting place in her heart.
He was rescued by Fan Fan, and the same was true for the person who later confessed to him at the university.
There is also Guan Hui. Some people say that he has written too little about the process of falling in love with Cen Xili. It is very little. It seems that he likes Cen Xili suddenly and without any adjustment.
He is just an immature child, and he doesn't even understand how he likes him or how much he likes him. He even uses the wrong method to chase after Cen Xili, which is completely unworkable, as he commented on Guan Hui's comment : "Waiting for a ship at the airport." Guan Hui is like this. He saw the ship, wanted to, and wanted to pull the ship directly into the airport. In the end, it must end in failure, and the port where Xili has been docked is especially Xin, he is indeed a big coward, hahaha, but he has since improved.
A lot of ramble, or thank you for your company.
If you like this book, that's what makes me happiest.
grateful(?)