There are nine out of ten things in the world that are not what you want.
The floor in the autumn night is hard and cold, like a piece of ice that cannot be held warm.
The chill on the floor was raging, the boy on the floor slowly opened his eyes, and the fatigue of his limbs was expelled by the cold. After Gu Chaoming opened his eyes, there was only one feeling left - cold.
The cold that wraps around the skin and seeps into the crevices of the bones.
Gu Chaoming lay on the ground and curled up slightly. After waking up, his body had not returned to normal work. The coldness of the floor and the pain from sleeping on the hard floor arrived first.
The door of the room that could not be closed was hidden, the door was riddled with holes, sawdust turned out, and the scars were dazzling. The dim light and shadow of the TV in the unlit living room fell on the scars. Gu Chaoming leaned against the floor and listened to the sound of the TV swaggering into the room. The coldness of the floor colluded with the choroid nerves, and the coldness climbed up the complex veins, drilled straight into the heart, and scrambled for territory with the last heartbeat.
His limbs were stiff and jerky like a machine that had been put on hold for a long time. Gu Chaoming supported his body with his jerky arms and slowly sat up from the floor despite the pain.
Gu Chaoming didn't know if it was a coincidence or if Gu Tao really learned the mysterious exercises. He just woke up and stretched the floor to stand up. The door full of holes was pushed open, and the misty light and shadow of the TV fell from the door. Gu Tao slowly appeared. In front of him.
Gu Tao used his toes to kick Gu Chaoming, who supported his upper body with his arms: "I'm still pretending to be strangled, but I can't keep it up? Go on."
His back was leaning against the bed, which was as hard as the floor. Gu Chaoming ignored Gu Tao's provocation. His eyes were scattered, and his eyes were as light as feathers floating in the room, falling onto the suitcase not far from the bed in the room.
In the last mid-term exam, he was carried away by his scores. He was so proud of his extra 18 points that he packed his suitcases and prepared to start his new journey.
At that time, he foolishly thought that it was a new chapter in his life, but he did not know that what awaited him was the familiar hell.
It's not that the angel fell into hell. Gu Chaoming is the original inhabitant of hell. He just hopes to be ruined and return to the original place.
The teenager stared at the suitcase behind Gu Tao and tried to escape. What motivated him to escape was not his encouragement, but Gu Tao's abuse and unprovoked violence.
He wanted to leave, he wanted to escape, but where could he go
The new life he has been waiting for has no place for him. Gu Tao said it badly, but he was right. His mother just abandoned him.
Gu Chaoming's heart was ashes as Gu Tao's broken thoughts quietly put his palm into his pocket, and his broad palm touched the cold phone in his pocket. He wanted to call his mother, but the night outside the window and the darkness in the room were silently reminding him that Qu Yingyi was already asleep, and calling would only disturb her.
Knowing that he was abandoned, Gu Chaoming gave up the idea of making a phone call, and his fingers in his pockets caressed the unlit mobile phone like a newborn baby's cheek.
There was only Gu Tao's scolding in the air, Gu Chaoming didn't say a word, until Gu Tao walked out of the room, he also leaned against the bed and didn't move, only in the pocket that Gu Tao could not see, Gu Chaoming's fingers gently caressed Dark phone screen.
The door that was smashed by Gu Tao lost its lock and could no longer be closed like the wound on the door that could not heal.
Gu Tao walked out of the room, and Gu Chaoming leaned on the bed for a while.
He was in a daze, staring at the suitcase that stood up not far away.
He was thinking about whether he should take this step, and what would be the consequences of taking this step
Will my life get better? Will you live a life without daily fears
Gu Chaoming's answer is definitely not, but there is not so much rationality and correct thinking in life, more impulsive and knowing the result, but will not shrink back because of fear of change.
So what if the result can't be changed? It doesn't matter if there are thousands of troops. As long as there is a sharp gun in your heart, you will dare to go alone if you go your own way.
Leaning on the edge of the bed to think about the answer, in the quiet night, Gu Chaoming was like a gas-charged assault vehicle. He got up from the floor, the pain in his body could not be taken into account, as if it had never existed, and there was no sign of pain on his face.
Gu Chaoming walked quickly to the front of the suitcase, the suitcase that was overturned by Gu Tao last time, Gu Chaoming repacked.
Unzipping the suitcase, Gu Chaoming opened the closet and stuffed the clothes he often wore in the closet into the suitcase.
Photos, homework... nothing left.
Gu Tao's telepathy heard Gu Chaoming's movement of packing things, and he appeared in Gu Chaoming's room again with a beer bottle in his hand. Seeing that Gu Chaoming was packing his luggage again, a sneering and disdainful sneer appeared on his face: "Yo, this is Do you want to leave again? Where are you going? Where are you going to stay?"
There was only one thought in Gu Chaoming's mind, to leave this house and leave the man in front of him. Leaving is the overlord, and other ideas have no power to take their place.
Gu Chaoming ignored the words that came out of Gu Tao's mouth, did not listen or respond, and remained silent as always.
"Going out to sleep on the street?" Gu Tao was still laughing.
"It's none of your business." Gu Chaoming couldn't help but retort as he packed his luggage.
"Yo, I'm getting angry."
Gu Chaoming persuaded himself not to confront Gu Tao and ignore what Gu Tao said, but Gu Chaoming couldn't help but retort, and the consequence of retorting was that Gu Tao kicked over the suitcase again.
The nerve veins betrayed Gu Chaoming and instilled the cold of the autumn night into Gu Chaoming's heart.
Gu Chaoming watched helplessly as the things in the suitcase danced and scattered in the air.
Gu Chaoming forced himself to ignore him and picked up what Gu Tao kicked over.
Gu Chaoming ignored it, and Gu Tao laughed even more arrogantly: "Let's go, you go."
In the dark night, the items in Gu Chaoming's suitcase danced in the air again and fell, and Gu Tao lifted Gu Chaoming's suitcase again. Gu Chaoming strongly resisted the anger that was about to burst out.
In the natural world, water and fire are natural enemies and cannot be combined, but in Gu Chaoming's heart, the coldness and the burning anger exist in harmony.
They co-existed in Gu Chaoming's little corner of the heart, the ice was biting to the bone, and it was burning hot.
Gu Chaoming held back his anger and picked up Gu Tao's overturned luggage.
Don't talk back, Gu Chaoming told himself.
The suitcase was repeatedly overturned by Gu Tao two or three times. The backlog of anger in his heart was at its peak, expelling the chill from his body, and the blood rushed to the top of his head.
Blood gushed out, Gu Tao's face was ugly, and Gu Chaoming finally couldn't help standing up.
Before standing up straight, a crisp slap in the face was like a farewell gift from Gu Tao to Gu Chaoming.
The sound was crisp and reverberated in the night.
Gu Chaoming tilted his head to one side, his cheeks were hot, and his mouth became more and more bitter.
Unprovoked bitterness adhered to Gu Chaoming's seventeen years of life.
A crisp slap ignited Gu Chaoming's anger and challenged Gu Chaoming's reason.
When you accept violence, you can only use violence to defeat it, and you can only use violence to fight back
Gu Chaoming was tossing back and forth between reason and liberation.
Gu Chaoming's reason once again held back the palm that Gu Chaoming wanted to raise and wave towards Gu Tao.
He finally chose to give up because he knew that if he slapped that slap, he would be like Gu Tao.
Violent, brutal, impulsive, hopeless.
That's just inheriting Gu Tao's violent factor, inheriting what he hates the most.
Gu Chaoming didn't want to become the same person as Gu Tao.
Gu Chaoming, who was slapped in the face, did not fight back, squatted down and continued to pack his luggage. Gu Tao didn't know his determination to leave.
"Want to go? Hurry up, hurry up, out of sight is pure."
"I still have to go to the canteen to pay for me when I leave."
"Why are you picking up so slowly?"
A pillow fell on Gu Chaoming's head, but Gu Chaoming did not dodge. He packed his luggage seriously and quickly, fearing that Gu Tao would go crazy and overturn his suitcase again.
Without Gu Tao's obstruction, Gu Chaoming quickly packed his luggage, zipped up the zipper, and picked up the packed suitcase.
Gu Tao, who had been laughing at him and persuaded him to pack up and leave quickly, waited for Gu Chaoming to pack up his luggage and prepare to leave, but suddenly changed his mind and didn't let him go.
"It's long enough."
Gu Chaoming glared fiercely at Gu Tao who was blocking the road, grabbed the beer bottle in Gu Tao's hand and threw it to the ground to show his determination.
The green beer bottle shattered from the middle, the glass slag flew out, and the beer bottle cut into a jagged shape.
Gu Chaoming bent down to pick up the broken beer bottle and held the top half of the beer bottle. He made up his mind and aimed at Gu Tao with the jagged cut of the beer bottle.
"Get out of the way!" Gu Chaoming grabbed the handle of the suitcase and roared at Gu Tao.
Gu Tao was a little frightened by Gu Chaoming's sudden resistance. He kept pushing him in the kitchen because Gu Tao knew that Gu Chaoming didn't have the guts, but now Gu Chaoming's eyes were shining with blood, and the hand holding the beer bottle didn't tremble at all. He didn't look scared in the kitchen at all.
Gu Tao knew that he was no longer a 17-year-old Gu Chaoming's opponent when he was older. He relied on Gu Chaoming's cowardice and moral sanity to run rampant, and now all these have disappeared in Gu Chaoming's eyes.
Gu Tao was startled, for a while he was really afraid that Gu Chaoming would stab him.
Gu Tao backed away, but still said toughly: "If you have the ability to go, don't come back if you have the ability, and let me see you at home, so you don't want to go to school again."
The beer bottle shattered again, more thoroughly, and the glass slag scattered on the floor. After Gu Tao stepped aside, Gu Chaoming smashed the beer bottle that threatened Gu Tao into the ground, and then dragged the suitcase around the retreating beer bottle. Gu Tao walked out of the house.
He had never left so resolutely, never turning his head or giving Gu Tao a look. The door panel was brought tightly, which was the announcement of his departure.
The anger in his heart was not extinguished, and the temperature was scorching hot. Gu Chaoming didn't know how he kept calm and held the beer bottle at Gu Tao in such an angry situation, and he didn't show any signs of cowardice.
When he was in the kitchen, he was so frightened that he threw down the kitchen knife and ran back to the room, but he just held up the beer bottle to Gu Tao and was surprisingly calm.
That was the irrational self, and Gu Chaoming was afraid of that self while dragging his suitcase.
A self he had never seen before manipulated him unknowingly.
Are the strings of reason still broken
Dragging the suitcase downstairs, the overhead sensor light came on, there was even a little sign of the sun rising in the sky, and there was only a little bit of white in the gray air.
After walking outside, Gu Chaoming, who had given up thinking, felt that the cold had returned to his body. The drowsy and tired later came to the fore, Gu Chaoming still wanted to sleep, and the pain in his body could not be ignored by him.
The things in the box were a mess, but Gu Chaoming had packed everything he had to bring. He even remembered to carry the schoolbag hanging on the chair on his back in a hurry.
Gu Chaoming, who left his home where he lived for seventeen years, was told by Gu Tao that he had nowhere to go.
Gu Chaoming, who left home impulsively, dragged his suitcase on the empty road. He wanted to call his mother, but he couldn't.
It was almost dawn, the autumn wind was bleak, and he was alone.
Gu Chaoming wandered aimlessly, he just wanted to escape from that home. Gu Tao's words are ugly, but some of them are right, such as Gu Chaoming now.
Gu Chaoming, who really didn't want to leave, sat down on the side of the road and saw a steamed bun shop opening the door along the way. Gu Chaoming was so tired that he could fall asleep on the telephone pole.
Sitting on the side of the road and flicking off the phone, I want to see what can be done.
The lighted screen of the mobile phone showed that Gu Chaoming had another sum of money.
Did you know that he ran away from home and needed money
Tired and tired, Gu Chaoming was still in the mood to joke with himself.
The money was transferred from Lin Jianfan, and Lin Jianfan said, "The medical expenses don't need so much."
Gu Chaoming frowned at Lin Jianfan's message on the phone screen and said "tsk", "Why is this kid so stubborn, he has to pass it on to me."
Gu Chaoming transferred the money that Lin Jianfan gave him, according to what he said in the taxi plus a certain increase.
Unexpectedly, as soon as the money was transferred, Lin saw Fan Miao back, and Gu Chaoming was shocked while sitting on the side of the road holding his mobile phone. Didn't sleep? Or are you up?"
"I slept lightly, you haven't slept yet? Are you still up?" asked Lin Jianfan.
Gu Chaoming didn't know how to answer, and didn't want to ask Lin Jianfan to tell him that he was chatting with him on the side of the empty road while holding his mobile phone.
Gu Chaoming said casually: "I can't sleep, it's now."
"Are you sleepless?" Lin Jianfan asked.
Gu Chaoming casually replied "um" again.
Not surprisingly, Lin Jianfan completely believed what Gu Chaoming said, Lin Jianfan didn't reply for a while, Gu Chaoming thought he would not reply again, and looked for where to stay in his mobile phone.
While rummaging through various pages, Lin Jianfan's information exploded wildly to the point that Gu Chaoming was annoying and was forced to click in.
I wanted to reply to him, "Are you bothered?", but when he saw the message sent by Lin Jianfan, the soft part of Gu Chaoming's cold heart was licked and bitten by Lin Jianfan's concern, like the teeth of a small animal. The itch was like the fallen leaves swept by the strong wind. With the power of the wind, it cut and pierced Gu Chaoming's last line of defense.
The messages sent by Lin Jianfan were all about how to treat insomnia. Lin Jianfan also told him to remember to take medicine, followed by a series of voices. Gu Chaoming clicked it to listen, Lin saw Fan's nice voice soft and soft, but the content he said was repeated like an old mother: "Remember to take medicine, that..."
Gu Chaoming listened to Lin Jianfan's voice transmitted by the mobile phone, and the tears were not unbearable, but could not bear it at all, and Gu Chaoming could not bear to burst out of the embankment.
Over the mountains, rivers and wild rivers, soaked in the field of stalks.
Someone cared about him, in the dark night, in the cold wind.
Gu Chaoming is a big man, the phone receiver is facing his ear, and tears flow down his cheeks. Gu Chao knew that his emotions were uncontrollable, so he lowered his head, buried himself in it, and tried his best to calm himself down by sniffing.
Gu Chaoming, you are too hopeless.
Uncontrollable tears fell on the side of the road, and Gu Chaoming's shoulders shook from sobbing. Gu Chaoming couldn't control himself, he had never cried like this before, all his emotions like Ji Ren burst out.
The phone was still vibrating, but Gu Chaoming didn't reply. The coldness and anger in his heart were under the impact of tears.
Gu Chaoming is also vulnerable.
He suddenly wanted to curl up into a ball, like a baby curled up in his mother's arms, like a small animal curled up in a warm nest.
He seems to be cut off from everything in the world, only crying himself.
Gu Chaoming hugged him for a long time until the tears subsided and his emotions returned to the right track.
Taking a deep breath and wiping the tears from his cheeks, Gu Chaoming raised his head, assuming it was just an accidental loss of emotional control.
Gu Chaoming, who wiped away his tears, was afraid that his voice would reveal himself, so he typed and lied: "Go to sleep, I'm sleeping too."
"OK, good night."
Gu Chaoming smiled and replied good morning to him.
Dawn has broken and it is time to welcome a new day.