When he said that he should treat the girl called "study" well, Gu Chaoming did it very well. He spent a lot of time with "her". He often stayed with her until late at night. He never neglected her every day. there.
Gu Chaoming knew his test scores when he finished cleaning his room in the afternoon and was resting on the chair in front of his desk.
Su Bing sent him the test ranking in advance.
Gu Chaoming, who found his name in the photo, froze in his heart, as if a huge magic code was suddenly added to one end of the scale. The originally balanced scale became unbalanced and tilted to one side.
Gu Chaoming thought that his grades would be very low this time, but he didn't expect it to be so low, it was already lower than the bottom line he expected.
Although he was so good at learning this "girl" and "she" reciprocated so much, Gu Chaoming resolutely took up the pen and went to accompany her.
Open the math workbook, with the draft book by hand, start from the first question, and keep brushing, skipping if you can't do it, and seeing the skipped questions is even more annoying.
The numbers on the white paper on the screen just now were imprinted in his mind like a spell.
Both eyes quickly scan the question stem, but the brain prompts that the scan fails. With a pen in hand, eyes looking at the question, my brain is filled with other things.
Irritability, loss, depression.
After reading a line of questions, he didn't have the slightest impression in his mind. The question he just read seemed to be taken away by time. He knew that he was surprised by his low score.
The pen was thrown on the table, and his fingers were inserted into his hair. How could he leave Gu Tao with such a low grade
Test the fart, test the test.
The premise of leaving Gu Tao is to be admitted to university, and his current grades have suddenly dropped so tragically that a little bit of difficulty can trip him up.
If you can't pass the exam, you can only stay with Gu Tao for the rest of your life, stay in this house
The beautiful June that Gu Chaoming imagined was the cheers of liberation at last, the examination room that was waiting under the scorching sun, the option filled in by volunteers on the Internet, the beginning of his departure from Gu Tao, and the train that carried him away. How can this result be achieved now
When looking for his name on the photo, his eyes slid down one by one from top to bottom. There is no doubt that the first column is Lin Jianfan.
From him, this column has never been given to anyone else. With such a prominent position, it's hard not to pay attention, and it's hard not to compare your score with Lin Jianfan's.
Gu Chaoming tried hard not to think about it, but these thoughts always popped up on their own.
An empty room, an empty home, Gu Chaoming knew that he shouldn't force himself to do his homework, he should do something relaxing to ease his mood.
Gu Chaoming smiled self-deprecatingly, closed the exercise book, changed his shoes and prepared to go out.
Open the door, and the cold wind roaring and churning in the corridor outside the door rushes in at the open big mouth.
The cold wind is cool, and the unique sandy texture of the cold wind in winter is particularly dry on the face.
In the afternoon, the streets were sparsely populated, and several street shops on the side of the road were closed. Gu Chaoming did not go to a crowded place, but went to a small place in the fork.
Walking into an alley and then turning out again, the wind unknowingly became stronger.
Gu Chaoming was familiar with the area near his home, and knew that he could walk to the bank of a big river by following some miscellaneous trails.
The whistling wind blows straight into the collar, and out of the alley that turns in and out, the wind on the river bank will be even stronger, unobstructed, and whistling recklessly.
The big river has been flowing since Gu Chaoming was born. He is an old friend of this city. Whether it is rising or falling, it has been flowing by itself. I heard from my mother that I used to see young people holding hands and falling in love by the river bank, which is a good place for a date.
In the spring, the willows are drooping, the river is clear and the sun is shining, and the atmosphere is instantly set off. It's just that time has passed, the willows are getting old, the river water is polluted, and the young people don't have the same taste/interest to set foot there, and they gradually become abandoned.
The river bank is empty, and there are street lamps one after another along the stone railings along the river bank, all the way to the far side of the river.
Seen from a distance at night, the river lantern stands alone, lined up in a line of stars.
During the summer vacation, Gu Tao was always at home for a few days, and Gu Chao was not used to seeing him tomorrow. In order not to see Gu Tao, at night, Gu Chaoming would spend hours sitting on the silent river bank.
The night wind is swaying, and I sit for several hours at a time, and then I will pat the dust on my pants and go home.
There are a lot of mosquitoes in summer. Gu Chaoming always scratches this and that when he gets home. Gu Tao asks him, "Have a good heart, have you run out to feed the mosquitoes?"
Gu Chaoming only replied: "Yeah."
Gu Tao leaned against the door frame and glanced at him, but said nothing.
On the night when Gu Chaoming answered "yes" for the third time, Gu Chaoming rushed out of the house with a bus card, took the last bus, and walked for more than ten minutes to the beach.
It was his secret base, the closest place he knew to his house where he could see the sea.
The sea breeze blew his face, blowing his thin clothes against his skin, still the smell of the sea in his memory.
Gu Chaoming saw this sea in the car. He had forgotten what he was going to do in the first place. He only remembered that Qu Yingyi was sitting next to him, and he was lying on the open window to watch the changing scenery outside.
The car drove onto a highway, and suddenly a peaceful sea changed like magic. The spring was just right that day, and the sun fell on the sea and divided it into pieces, shining brightly.
There was a piece of broken gold on the sea, and he caught Gu Chaoming's eyes. He kept looking at the solemn and peaceful sea until he could no longer see it.
The sea is inclusive, it will touch your ankles with the sea, it will wash away your footprints on the sand with the waves, it will make the sea wind blow your face, and it will make the birds sing for you.
After that, many times Gu Chaoming would ignore the distance, get on the car alone, spend an afternoon or a whole day there, do nothing, just watch the sea and play with it.
He likes this, and is used to it. There are few people at the seaside, so it has become his secret base.
When things go wrong, he will come to the beach. He doesn't need to tell, the sea breeze can sweep away the secrets in his heart.
He didn't go to the beach, not because he didn't want to go, but because time did not allow him, he had to come back at night to make buns for Lin Jianfan.
Not doing well in the exam is not a big deal. He believes that he can pass by the river bank to relax. He doesn't use the seaside, and there will definitely be bigger and bigger difficulties waiting for him in the future.
If he goes to the seaside every time, the seaside will lose its magic and become ordinary.
After wandering around the river bank for a long time, and evacuating his bad mood, Gu Chaoming returned home and made buns for Lin Jianfan.
After preparing the materials and starting to wrap the buns, there was a knock on the door, and Gu Chaoming looked out the door warily.
Gu Tao is back
Gu Chaoming walked to the door that was knocked on, and looked at the cat's eyes on the door, his anxiety finally subsided.
It was not Gu Tao outside the door, but Gu Chaoming opened the door for Liu Yi with his flour-soaked hand. The wild wind outside the door was much faster than Liu Yi, and slipped in along the crack of the opened door, while Liu Yi was still blowing his hair outside.
"Come in, it's windy outside." Gu Chaoming said after opening the door.
Liu Yi walked into the room, his hair was not so lively, he casually adjusted his messy hair, saw Gu Chaoming's hands dipped in flour, and asked, "What about cooking?"
Gu Chaoming nodded: "Making steamed buns and dumplings, have you eaten?"
"No, I just came back from outside and bought some food for you to send here." Liu Yi looked at Gu Chaoming, "Why do you still have my share?"
Gu Chaoming smiled: "You can eat it if you want."
"Then eat a little bit of Chef Gu and see if your cooking skills have improved." Liu Yi said.
Liu Yi, who entered the door, put the food he bought for Gu Chaoming on the coffee table. Gu Chaoming asked him to sit and watch TV while waiting to eat dumplings, but Liu Yi was full of confidence and rolled up his sleeves: "I'll help."
Gu Chaoming glanced at the white cotton jacket on him: "Forget it, don't get your clothes dirty."
"It's okay," Liu Yi said, "Do you have an apron at home?"
Gu Chaoming shook his head: "Would you like to change your clothes, there is a black jacket on the stool in my room."
"Alright." Liu Yi nodded.
Hearing the rumors about Gu Chaoming's family from the adults in the community, he has forgotten the traces after going out for many years. When he saw so many cut marks on the door panel, Liu Yi was shocked when he stood outside the door.
This is in Gu Chaoming's house, so everything makes sense, and it is not necessary to guess that it must be Gu Tao who left traces.
There are holes in the door panel, with sawdust turned out, and the door handle is also unknown, leaving a large hole, and the entire door panel seems to have been shot by a hail of bullets.
Liu Yi reached out and stroked the scarred door panel. He couldn't imagine what Gu Chaoming had gone through. He didn't know how Gu Chaoming persevered.
Seeing such a shocking sight for the first time, Liu Yi wanted to ask Gu Chaoming what happened, but in the end he didn't ask. He knows that Gu Chaoming is a stubborn boy, and if you ask him about Gu Tao, he will definitely not answer you truthfully.
Liu Yi silently opened the door, and there was no trace of violence in the room. Seeing the cut marks on the door, Liu Yi was really afraid of seeing blood in Gu Chaoming's room.
Liu Yi breathed a sigh of relief and walked to the desk. There was a black padded jacket on the chair in front of the desk. Gu Chaoming should be talking about this one.
Liu Yi took off his padded jacket and put it on, zipped up the zipper, and noticed the workbook on the desk that had not been put away. What is spread out is mathematics, with Chinese, English, geography... a lot of various subjects stacked next to it.
This is to study hard, Liu Yi thought through Gu Chaoming's homework.
This kid used to fight every day, and he looked like a little devil in the world, but now he's a good student.
After changing clothes, closing the door that could no longer be closed, and walking to the kitchen, Liu Yi didn't mention what he just saw, and mentioning it would only make Gu Chaoming unhappy.
Making steamed buns is actually very simple, as is making dumplings, but it is not so easy to make them look good. Gu Chaoming slowed down and showed it to Liu Yi. Liu Yi learned how to draw scoops according to the gourd. Gu Chaoming realized that Liu Yi could do anything, but he was lacking in cooking. He showed him twice, but he still didn't know what to do. learn.
"It's your girlfriend who cooks, right?" Gu Chaoming asked skillfully, wrapping the buns.
"how do you know?"
"You don't look like you can cook."
"Hahahaha..." Liu Yi laughed a few times, "My mother wouldn't let me cook, and only women came into the kitchen. I refuted her, but she didn't listen."
Gu Chaoming said lightly, "Then your girlfriend will definitely quarrel with your mother in the future."
"My mother is such a person, so it's worrying to have to pass her."
Two men ten years apart were talking about how to deal with their in-laws.
"My mother has high vision. She wants me to get married sooner, saying that I am twenty-eight, and other people have children, but she also asks for more than me."
"Then you want to get married?" Gu Chaoming asked with a smile.
"I thought about it a little bit." Liu Yi said, bowing his head and smiling.
Gu Chaoming looked at the smile on Liu Yi's face and knew that he must be thinking of his girlfriend.
Moved the idea of marriage, moved the idea of entrusting a lifetime.
Looking at Liu Yi's smile, Gu Chaoming remembered that in the morning Liu Yi said that he would laugh whenever he thought of that person. Gu Chaoming couldn't see his smiling face. Is it the same as Liu Yi now
Seeing Liu Yi many years later and thinking of this day, Gu Chaoming got the answer.
It was a different but the same smile.
The difference is that his smile always shows the ignorance and joy of a young man, and he thinks that he is not known to others, while Liu Yi is mature and has the happiness that he can entrust for a lifetime.
The same is that they all smile naturally from the bottom of their hearts.
Regarding marriage, the combination of Qu Yingyi and Gu Tao has always been a lesson for Gu Chaoming. Gu Chaoming has fear and distrust of relationships and marriage, and he is afraid that he cannot really get close to others.
Gu Chaoming had indeed been confused for a while, until now, he saw other people's weddings. With a white wedding dress, a neat suit, and blessings all around him, he thought about whether they would last for a long time, and whether they could really come to an end together.
What does marriage mean? Lao Chen gave the answer in the class meeting as "entrust your whole life", and advised the male and female students in the class not to cross the limit at a young age.
The classmates thought that Lao Chen was so old because of the concept of marriage and love of the previous generation, and they all disagreed. Only Gu Chaoming listened carefully with his head supported. Listening to him, he always felt that it did not mean anything, but just tied two people together. A piece of paper that Lao Chen said could be entrusted to him for a lifetime.
The topic of Lao Chen was gradually introduced into the main topic, and it turned into that students should be self-cleaning and self-love, and popularize physiological knowledge. However, Gu Chaoming wondered whether Qu Yingyi and Gu Tao had ever thought of entrusting their whole life when they got married
Gu Chaoming tried to find evidence from every detail of their seventeen years of life that they had the idea of entrusting their whole life, but he found that he couldn't find it at all.
"What if you don't get married?" Gu Chaoming asked.
Liu Yi looked at him.
Gu Chaoming didn't want to get married, but he was afraid that he would let down the feelings of others, and he was also afraid that his feelings would be let down by others. He was afraid that he would take others too seriously, and he was afraid that others would take him too seriously, and he would not be able to repay or even respond. He was afraid that his way of getting along with each other in the future would become the second Qu Yingyi and Gu Tao.
He was even more afraid of himself, afraid that the mouse's son would make a hole, and that he would become the next Gu Tao.
Liu Yi has never experienced Gu Chaoming's life, his life was smooth and smooth, his father loved his mother, he studied at the right age, and achieved the right grades. Work at the right age, get the right salary, and I'm afraid the only thing you don't do at the right age is get married.
Without the same experience, Liu Yi couldn't understand what Gu Chaoming was thinking. He just compared Gu Chaoming with the daughter of his company boss who also didn't want to get married.
"Our boss's daughter told me last time that she didn't want to get married. She said that having children is too scary and tiring to have children, and there are no good men now." Liu Yi shook his head and smiled, "You are still young, in the future I know. Sometimes when I meet the right person, I want to marry her immediately. But there are also people who don’t want to marry. I am from the marriage group, and I think it’s better to get married and have a family.”
It's always better to have a home. Gu Chaoming didn't expect to hear this sentence again from Liu Yi's mouth.
It was Cen Xili's mother who said this for the first time. The woman with permed hair, which is about the same size as the English teacher's, is skinny, her cheeks are sunken, and her tone of voice and eyes are extraordinarily mean.
No matter how mean a woman is, she is gentle with her children.
When the affair between Cen Xili and You Xin was exposed, Su Bing started a voice group chat in Jixiang Sanbao's group to comfort Cen Xili, and it happened that Cen Xili came over to talk to him. Cen Xili didn't have time to hang up the phone, but just turned the screen over so his mother wouldn't see it.
Gu Chaoming and Su Bing didn't dare to listen so unintentionally, for fear that Cen Xili's mother would find out that Cen Xili was chatting with them again.
Gu Chaoming heard from the woman whose cheeks were sunken: "You are still young, you will know that having a family will be much better in the future, you don't have to work so hard by yourself, you have a support, and you have a legal proof. Do you think there is no Can you live your whole life with your own so-called love now?"
Gu Chaoming will always remember Cen Xili's answer, and he will never forget it for the rest of his life. Gu Chaoming thinks the same goes for Su Bing, who is also listening.
Cen Xili was sobbing in his nose when his mother spoke on the phone. He didn't know how many tissues he used in places they couldn't see.
Gu Chaoming heard Cen Xili say in a hoarse voice, "Yes, I can."
With three simple words, Gu Chaoming knew that this was a car accident that could no longer be turned around. No matter what the consequences are, Cen Xili will still choose to hit him without hesitation, even if his body is shattered.
Gu Chaoming and Su Bing knew that their admonitions were useless, and the later ridicule "Don't hang yourself on a tree" seemed powerless in front of the simple three words that day, also because of the inaction of You Xin that day, In the subsequent fight, Gu Chaoming used a stool to slap You Xin's arm in revenge for his cowardice.
What Cen Xili said was, "Yes, I can."
I can, I am just a number, only representing my own point of view, only representing Cen Xili, not You Xin.
No one knows what You Xin thinks, Gu Chaoming and Su Bing do not know, but they think that You Xin's silence and actions represent everything, and Cen Xili's sentence "Yes, I can" makes Gu Chaoming even more angry when he thinks about it.
One word, I already explained his uncertainty.
He can only be sure that he can accompany him through this life relying on his own love.
Such a firm unilateral determination.
Liu Yi said that Gu Chaoming didn't speak for a long time. There was only the sound of the wind outside the window in the quiet air. Liu Yi took advantage of this suitable opportunity to ask, "Is your father at home?"
Gu Chaoming recovered from his past memories: "He hasn't come back for many days."
"Your dad hasn't been drinking recently, hasn't he hit you?" Liu Yi asked carefully about Gu Tao's matter, for fear of accidentally hooking up on something Gu Chaoming didn't want to say.
Gu Chaoming replied with an optimistic smile: "He hasn't been at home for so many days, how can he fight? Away?"
"That door..." Liu Yi looked at Gu Chaoming.
Gu Chaoming still laughed: "You said my room door, Gu Tao went crazy and smashed it with a kitchen knife."
As soon as Liu Yi heard that he had used the kitchen knife, he hurriedly asked, "Then are you alright?"
"If I have anything to do, I'll go out and hide and hide at my friend's house." Gu Chaoming said.
In front of Liu Yi, Gu Chaoming didn't want to lie, and he didn't want to make himself too pitiful. He picks and chooses, goes to the branches and leaves to make a general statement.
Gu Chaoming has been like this since he was a child, and Liu Yi has no choice. He cannot obtain evidence from Gu Chaoming's face whether he is really as relaxed as his face.
Liu Yi can only say: "That's good."
For this younger brother ten years younger than him, Liu Yi always wanted to help him, but found that he couldn't help anything, so he could only watch from a distance.
Two bowls of steaming hot dumplings were steaming. Liu Yi carefully carried the bowls from the kitchen to the wooden table supported by the living room.
The soup in the bowl was boiling hot, irritating his fingers. Liu Yi put the bowl on the table and went to the kitchen to bring another bowl.
Gu Chaoming was washing pots in the kitchen when he heard Liu Yi say in the living room, "Why hasn't this table been changed in your house? Last time I heard your dad say that it was going to be changed, I thought it was."
"You believe what he said, he just said it." Gu Chaoming poured out the water in the pot.
Liu Yi took a rag to wipe the table clean, and brought two stools to the table: "I think the things you bought in the morning are for making buns."
Gu Chaoming wiped his hands and walked out and nodded.
"Keep it for breakfast?" Liu Yi asked again.
"No, let our classmates taste the buns I made." Gu Chaoming pulled out his chair and sat down.
"Classmate?" Liu Yi asked in disbelief.
"Um."
In the morning, Liu Yi judged by his smile whether he had someone he liked. Gu Chaoming found that Liu Yi had been working for the past few years, and he really could see more and more what he was thinking from his small expression.
Talking about Lin Jianfan in front of Liu Yi, Gu Chaoming hides and hides unconsciously, hesitating and fumbling, turning Lin Jianfan into a "classmate who wants to eat the buns he made", like saying Lin Jianfan's name, Liu Yixia In one second, he could read his hidden thoughts from these three words.
Pretending to be calm and not caring is all broken when you eat the first bite of dumplings.
Pretending wholeheartedly, I didn't notice the temperature of the dumplings just out of the pot, and the mouth was scalded when I took a bite.
Hot like a prairie fire burning his lips, the dumpling he picked up fell into the soup bowl on the table. Dumplings took a high-altitude diving, splashing a pool of water, dripping on the wiped table.
His mouth was scalding hot like an electric shock, and Gu Chaoming couldn't help but let out a "hiss" even though he wanted to pretend.
Looking up again, Liu Yi, who had just picked up a dumpling and had not started, was staring at him, and he took out a tissue from the table and handed it to him.
At that moment, Gu Chaoming strongly understood the meaning of taking care of one and the other in the language, and consciously took the paper towel and complained in his heart: "Ah, Gu Chaoming, you are really exposed."
Gu Chaoming wiped his scalded mouth with a tissue, and Liu Yi asked, "Are you okay? Are there any burns?"
Gu Chaoming shook his head while holding the tissue.
Liu Yi looked at the boy in front of him who was sitting taller than him but still scalded his mouth after eating dumplings.
Gu Chaoming is sometimes stupid. When he was a child, he saw school children licking railings in winter and their tongues were stuck. When they went home to eat popsicles together in summer, he asked him if eating popsicles would stick to the same.
Liu Yi once thought that Gu Chaoming was too precocious. He knew more than children of the same age, but when he heard him ask this question, Liu Yi suddenly felt that he was just a child who would ask whether eating popsicles would stick his tongue. In his eyes, Gu Chaoming seems to be a small child who has become the little brother he needs to take care of. When he goes home, he will definitely come to see him, as if to see his own family.
"Is your living expenses enough?" Liu Yi asked.
Gu Chaoming bit the dumplings and replied: "Enough, I still have savings, and my mother also gives me living expenses."
Liu Yi sighed slightly, always feeling unwilling that he couldn't help Gu Chaoming with something, as if he was sorry for the hot bowl of dumplings on the table in front of him.
Liu Yi said again: "Are you a second year in high school? I looked at all the homework on your desk when I was changing clothes."
"Have you decided which university to go to?"
Gu Chaoming raised his eyes and looked at Liu Yi, recalling the night when his grades had just improved. He searched various universities on the Internet. After seeing so many universities, Gu Chaoming still had no idea in his heart. Too high scores can scare him as a scumbag. .
Gu Chaoming shook his head: "I haven't thought about it yet."
"Then you can ask me if you have any questions about filling out the volunteers." Liu Yi said.
Gu Chaoming seemed to be warmed by this bowl of hot dumplings, and his whole body was warmed up.