Presence

Chapter 84

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If Gu Chaoming had to say that there was a time when he would be more worthy of his yearning than when he kissed Lin Jianfan's lips with a raw kiss, Gu Chaoming would say no.

When the tip of his tongue touched the soft thing in Lin Jianfan's mouth, Gu Chaoming thought clearly, "There's no time to make him happier than this moment."

Released Lin Jianfan, released his lips, and saw Lin Jianfan's smiling eyes, Gu Chaoming couldn't help it, just after the kiss, he stretched out his hand and hugged Lin Jianfan in his arms, resting his chin on Lin Jianfan's shoulder, His cheeks were buried in Lin Jianfan's side neck, and his hair brushed and rubbed back by Lin Jianfan's ears, making Lin Jianfan's ears ticklish.

Gu Chaoming took a resting posture, as if he was tired from walking alone for seventeen years, and finally reached Lin Jianfan's shoulder, allowing him to rely on it for a legitimate reason, and relying on it is a lifetime.

Gu Chaoming thought that when he hugged Lin Jianfan in front of him, he was hugging him and Lin Jianfan for the rest of their lives together.

He didn't know that the road ahead was bumpy and there were still many detours.

There are many thorns on the road, and the young man is wearing sharp armor, and he is always invincible.

Gu Chaoming leaned on Lin Jianfan's shoulders and wrapped his arms around Lin Jianfan's waist. He finally had a proper identity to hug him tightly, as his boyfriend.

He was eager to exercise his right as Lin Jianfan's boyfriend to hug him.

When kissing Lin Jianfan, he felt that there was no time when he would be more desirable and gratifying than now. After letting go of Lin Jianfan, he saw Lin Jianfan's slightly open mouth, and his tongue licked slightly over what he had just done. The kissed lips met the smiling eyes of Shang Lin Jian Fan.

In an instant, Gu Chaoming suddenly thought that maybe he was wrong just now. Kissing Lin Jianfan for the first time was not the happiest thing in his life. The future is in the future of Lin Jianfan.

Uncertainty is always the biggest attraction in the future.

For Gu Chaoming, the future was a wasteland overgrown with weeds, an endless wilderness, and a dark prison. After he started to study hard, Gu Chaoming hoped that the future would be a summer when he escaped from Gu Tao, a Spring Festival spent alone in a certain city but at ease, but now, the future is a gamble for Gu Chaoming. Chao Ming believed that no matter what, as long as there is Lin Jianfan in the future, no matter what, as long as Lin Jianfan is by his side to accompany him, it will be the best future.

Violence and rumors since childhood made Gu Chaoming feel more responsible than his peers and even adults. He just agreed, or from the moment he was sure that he liked Lin Jianfan and wanted to be with him, Gu Chaoming felt Start thinking about it—thinking about the future.

This may reflect his sense of responsibility, but Gu Chaoming thinks that it may be the pressure on the other side.

Leaning on Lin Jianfan's shoulder, Gu Chaoming turned his head to look at the two people who were embracing in the mirror. In a close posture, his skin was tight, Gu Chaoming turned his head to the side and saw the only large window in the toilet in the mirror.

The spring light on the ground outside the window was a golden yellow that was deeper than cream, and it came with a particularly bright light, which made people imagine its warmth at first glance, and Gu Chaoming thought of their future as soon as he saw it.

The tip of his nose and cheek rubbed against the collar of Lin Jianfan's shirt. Before the chorus competition, this was the place where he glanced at those thoughts that were all outrageous at the time and couldn't help but look away, but now he can touch it with his nose Touch it, rub it with the cheek, or bite it with the lips.

Without being noticed by Lin Jianfan, he gently left a kiss on his neck, Gu Chaoming straightened up, took Lin Jianfan's hand and walked out of the toilet with an uncontrollable smile on his face.

When taking him out of the auditorium, Gu Chaoming only dared to pull Lin Jianfan's wrist, but when Gu Chaoming stretched out his hand to Lin Jianfan in front of the pool, another palm was attached to the palm.

The world was changing too fast. In a short period of time, Gu Chaoming kissed Lin Jianfan for the first time, and for the first time really held Lin Jianfan's hand, in a hand-in-hand gesture, instead of holding his wrist as tightly as before.

In a short period of time, I have completed several things at once that I dared not do, did not do, and did not have the identity to do.

The rest, they still have later, later take your time.

Holding Lin Jianfan's hand and walking down the corridor, because the relationship between the two was close enough before, the two walked into the classroom quietly holding hands from the back door, and no one noticed when they were seen by the classmates.

After all, the two of them were holding hands when they escaped from the classroom, but no one noticed the change in the position of the hands.

When he let go of Lin Jianfan's hand, Gu Chaoming's inner reluctance almost showed on his face. After letting go of his hand, Lin Jianfan did not return to his seat, but still stood beside Gu Chaoming, with a smile that was as unwavering as the corner of Gu Chaoming's mouth.

Until Lao Chen asked everyone to clean up together and after school, Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan still couldn't help but twitch the corners of their mouths when they thought of each other.

While sweeping the floor, Gu Chaoming couldn't help laughing when he thought of Lin Jianfan, while Lin Jianfan was wiping the cream on the table with a rag not far away.

Su Bing couldn't stand it any longer, turned around the broom in his hand, and poked Gu Chaoming's waist with the head of the broom.

"Why are you?" Gu Chaoming, who was poked, finally put away his smile and looked at Su Bing who poked him.

"You smirk, what are you laughing at? You have been laughing since entering the classroom. What's so happy about it?" Su Bing took back the broom and stood on the ground, placing his arms on the head of the broom and asking Gu Chaoming.

Gu Chaoming just smiled and said nothing. Su Bing looked at Lin Jianfan who was wiping the table with a rag, and gestured at Lin Jianfan with his chin raised, "Because Lin Jianfan?"

Gu Chaoming nodded, Su Bing's expression "Cut, I will know".

The only person who could make their Gu Shuai show such an expression was Lin Jianfan.

Su Bing helplessly looked at his smirking brother and shook his head.

Gu Chaoming asked Su Bing, who shook his head, "Why didn't you say that?"

"Ah, which sentence?" Su Bing suddenly couldn't remember what he said.

"That's it." Gu Chaoming shook his head with a demonstration "Ha".

"Oh~" After seeing Gu Chaoming's demonstration, Su Bing immediately knew what Gu Chaoming said.

"Heh, someone in love?"

The question sentence, Su Bing ended with a rising question tone, Gu Chaoming didn't seem satisfied, he stopped to sweep the floor and said to Su Bing, "Say it again, don't use the question sentence."

"??? What?" Su Bing was full of question marks and still did as Gu Chaoming said.

"Oh, someone in love." Su Bing said in his usual tone.

Gu Chaoming looked very satisfied. After he was satisfied, he gave a smirk, and then continued to sweep the floor without answering.

"???This???" Su Bing had as many question marks on his head as there were grasses on the grassland. He grabbed Gu Chaoming's sweeping arm and asked, "What do you mean? Let me say that for no reason?"

Su Bing didn't understand, Gu Chaoming stood up straight and smiled again when he looked at the questioning Su Bing.

He just wanted to try to be with Lin Jianfan, and he didn't have to refute what it felt like when he heard Su Bing sour their "Oh, people in love".

When his wish was fulfilled, Gu Chaoming couldn't tell Su Bing his wish. Facing Su Bing's head full of question marks, Gu Chaoming only reminded him: "Did you see that I just refuted you?"

Su Bing grabbed the broom in one hand and Gu Chaoming's arm in the other and shook his head: "No, you didn't say anything."

Gu Chaoming smiled again. Seeing Gu Chaoming's smile and sorting out the relationship in his words, Su Bing's mouth was so wide that Gu Chaoming wanted to put an egg in his mouth: "No way, big brother, really?"

"Really?" After Su Bing understood what Gu Chaoming meant, he turned around Gu Chaoming, "Brother, you are awesome."

Gu Chaoming only nodded to confirm, Su Bing immediately understood why Gu Chaoming always smirked just now.

"I can't think of it, I can't think of it, you are really together, I'm going to tell Xili right away!" As soon as Su Bing heard the news, he ran to Cen Xili with a broom to inform him, but Gu Chaoming couldn't catch it.

When the trio got together, Cen Xili, who learned that Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan were finally together, seemed surprised but not surprised at all, and seemed to be thinking about something else in the surprise.

"Xili, why did you react so indifferently? It's not as violent as Su Xiaoma at all." Gu Chaoming asked Cen Xili, seeing that he was too calm.

Cen Xili almost gave him a roll of eyes and said to Gu Chaoming, "It's only a matter of time for the two of you to be together, it's a matter of who to confess to first."

Cen Xili was suddenly excited, pointed at Gu Chaoming, turned his head and said to Su Bing, "You don't know how many times he can peek at Lin Jianfan during a class, I have to remind him to listen carefully."

Su Bing patted the suddenly excited Cen Xili on the back and nodded: "I know, I know."

He was sitting behind Lin Jianfan, how could he not know that Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan were looking at you and me in class, and he was about to be drowned by their dog food.

Gu Chaoming, who made Cen Xili excited, only smiled while holding the broom. It turned out that they both saw it before he knew it.

When Su Bing gossip asked about the details of their confession, Gu Chaoming was very embarrassed to pick and choose a simple description, and Su Bing learned that it was Lin Jianfan who said that first.

"I always thought it must be you who said it first, but I didn't expect Xiao Jian Fan to be so courageous, seeing how quiet he is usually..."

"It's not like you can say these things, right?" Gu Chaoming intercepted Su Bing's words.

Su Bing said "um": "Xiao Jian Fan is also quite fierce."

"That..." Cen Xili, who had not participated in the discussion and had been pondering for some time, suddenly said.

"Huh?" Su Bing and Gu Chaoming stopped talking and looked at Cen Xili who spoke out.

"That..." Cen Xili finally tried to speak, but it kept repeating two words.

"What's wrong?" Su Bing asked with concern.

Cen Xili looked up at Gu Chaoming and Su Bing who were standing in front of him.

As soon as Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan were together, they told them about it. There were almost no secrets between the three of them. Everyone knew it. Even Gu Tao, who Gu Chaoming was ashamed of, told them about it, but he didn't know much about today. The matter of being in the toilet with You Xin has been hesitant to say it again and again.

"That... You Xin..." Cen Xili worked hard to organize his words so that his words were true and did not distort the facts, so that the impression of You Xin in Gu Chaoming and Su Bing's hearts would not get worse.

"You Xin?!" Su Bing and Gu Chaoming immediately became alert when they heard You Xin's name, "What happened to You Sanjin?"

"Just... just..." Cen Xili tried his best to say, and explained with his arms, "I met him in the toilet today, and then..."

"He stopped you?" Gu Chaoming asked.

Cen Xili nodded: "Then..."

"And then?!" Su Bing said.

Seeing that when these two heard You Xin's name, they were like a loaded cannon, and Cen Xili really didn't dare to tell them about the kiss between him and You Xin. Cen Xili was afraid that he could not stop the two cannons by himself, and that the cannonballs knocked down You Xin, who kissed him only after he agreed.

Before mentioning the next thing, just saying that You Xin stopped him in the toilet, Gu Chaoming and Su Bing had already talked about finding You Xin to settle accounts after class, and Cen Xili hurriedly stopped them.

"He didn't do anything, he didn't do anything, you two don't make trouble." Cen Xili said.

"It's okay." Su Bing comforted him.

"Don't go, you two."

After a period of persuasion, Gu Chaoming and Su Bing gave up looking for You Xin to settle accounts.

Cen Xili breathed a sigh of relief.

Without going to You Xin to settle accounts, Gu Chaoming and Cen Xili kept asking him what You Xin had done to stop him in the toilet. Cen Xili lied and said, "He didn't do anything, he just stopped him."

As a result, You Xin was scolded by them again.

After cleaning, he packed up his schoolbags and went to school. Although Lin Jianfan was different from them, he usually went to school by himself, but because today was a special day, Gu Chaoming packed up his schoolbags and walked to Lin Jianfan's desk.

Feeling someone behind him, Gu Chaoming wanted to scare him, but when Lin saw Fan turned his head, Gu Chaoming smiled, took back the hand he wanted to scare him, and said to him, "Let's go home together."

Lin Jianfan nodded with a smile, and the movement of packing the schoolbag in his hand became faster and faster.

"Ouch."

The four of them went home together, and Gu Chaoming hugged Lin Jianfan, who was not less ridiculed by Su Bing's words and surrounded by Cen Xili's smile.

Gu Chaoming hooked Lin Jianfan's neck and protected Lin Jianfan to resist Su Bing and Guan Hui's constant chatter.

"Hey, Gu Shuai, you are too protective, let's talk to Xiaojianfan too." Su Bing said with a smile.

He reached out his hand to touch Lin Jianfan's hand on purpose, but was beaten down by Gu Chaoming. Su Bing hugged his stomach and laughed on the road, and the passersby beside him all looked at him.

When he walked to the station where Lin Jianfan usually took the train, Gu Chaoming let go of him, but Lin Jianfan did not go there. Gu Chaoming asked him, "Why don't you go there?"

Lin Jianfan pointed to Gu Chaoming's home direction: "I can go home too."

"Really?" Gu Chaoming said, "There will be more of the same road in the future."

Gu Chaoming said, thinking of being able to go home with Lin Jianfan in the future, instead of leaving the school and walking a short distance away, he was happy because of the extra little time they spent together.

What Gu Chaoming didn't know was that it was actually a long way for Lin Jianfan to walk home here, even more than half an hour in a traffic jam, but in order to stay with him more, Lin Jianfan chose to take a long detour. long way to go.

The separation that was faced at the school gate in the past, after parting with Su Bing today, Lin Jianfan was still by his side.

There is a flower shop on the side of the road, with white door frames, the flowers in the glass window are lit by the warm yellow lights in the shop, which makes people feel very warm at first glance. There are blooming flowers on the stairs outside the door.

Passing by the flower shop, Gu Chaoming suddenly pulled Lin Jianfan's sleeve beside him.

"What's wrong?" Lin Jianfan looked at Gu Chaoming and asked.

Gu Chaoming didn't speak mysteriously, he just pulled him to push the white wooden door of the flower shop, walked into the flower shop filled with the fragrance of flowers, and bought the next rose.

The rose wrapped in plastic paper lay in Gu Chaoming's palm. Gu Chaoming took Lin Jianfan into the flower shop, and then took his hand out.

Walking into the flower shop and seeing Gu Chaoming buying a rose, Lin Jianfan seemed to understand what Gu Chaoming meant.

Waiting, waiting, but Gu Chaoming kept holding the rose in his hand and wouldn't give it to him.

Waiting, waiting, and waiting until they parted, Gu Chaoming handed the rose to him who couldn't wait.

On Gu Chaoming's articulated fingers are pieces of red rose petals, and behind the roses composed of pieces of red rose petals is the bright smile of the young man.

"Give it to Solo and my boyfriend from the second and second class of high school." said Gu Chaoming, who handed out the roses.

Gu Chaoming is so good at playing it.

After all, the roses were given to him. Along the way, he felt a little unhappy because the roses were not delivered to him, and he suddenly became very shy in Gu Chaoming's smile.

He even had a little temper on the road, because of the flowers in Gu Chaoming's hands, and now thinking back to himself just now, Lin Jianfan just wanted to have a time machine, so that he could go back and tell himself at that time: "The flowers are yours, don't worry. , don't show your face."

Lin Jianfan wanted to remind himself not to show himself on the road, but Gu Chaoming grabbed his tail all eagerly, and Gu Chaoming secretly laughed because of the anxious expression on Lin Jianfan's face.

Handing out the rose, I saw Lin Jianfan smiling shyly, but not seeing Lin Jianfan reaching out to pick it up, Gu Chaoming was a little anxious: "Hurry up and accept it."

The rose in his hand was fresh and blooming, Gu Chaoming smiled, he smiled brightly, and the petals of the rose suddenly trembled.

A person rushed into his arms.

Gu Chaoming took a small step back and stood still.

Lin Jianfan took the initiative to hug him, and took the initiative to put his arms around Gu Chaoming's waist like that night, and his ears were close to Gu Chaoming's ears. Gu Chaoming once again tasted the hot wind blowing in his ears.

Lin Jianfan hugged Gu Chaoming, as if asking for something, but also thanking Gu Chaoming for the rose.

He wanted to do it on stage, but he controlled it, and he finally got his wish.

Gu Chaoming was frightened by Lin Jianfan's sudden embrace, and slowly wrapped his arms around Lin Jianfan and hugged him back.

The first hug was on a cold night, with Lin Jianfan's tears on his shoulders, but now it's full of sultry spring colors falling on his shoulders.

On the night when Gu Chaoming helped him catch the wind, Lin Jianfan leaned on Gu Chaoming's shoulder, his eyes blurred with tears, and in front of him was a chromophore made of colorful neon lights, a balloon that a child accidentally let go of and flew into the sky.

When Lin Jianfan opened his eyes again, he opened his eyes and saw the spring colors all over the ground, with Gu Chaoming's soft auricle beside his ears.

Gu Chaoming couldn't help but turn his head again and drop a kiss on the exposed skin of Lin Jianfan's neck. This time he was discovered by Lin Jianfan. Lin Jianfan felt the soft touch on his neck, and he was embarrassed to tighten Gu Chaoming's waist.

"You haven't taken this flower, it's about to cry." Gu Chaoming said.

When it comes to falling in love, Gu Chaoming's usual advantages of being a liar are fully reflected, and the love words are blurted out.

Gu Chaoming, who walked into the community, exuded the joy that anyone could see from passing by him.

With a smile on his face, his footsteps tended to jump up the stairs full of damp smells. The bouncing footsteps stepped over the dust on the stairs, and even the dust was dancing in celebration for him.

With a good mood, the street lights downstairs, the pebbles under the street lights, the weeds not far from the pebbles, and the children walking by the weeds, everything is dyed with beautiful colors.

It turns out that life can be so beautiful, Gu Chaoming took out the key and heard the fragrance of the food from downstairs.

The key was inserted into the door lock, the door lock turned, and Gu Chaoming, who was too excited, returned to the real world.

When he opened the door and saw the scene inside the door, Gu Chaoming realized that people's moods can fall so quickly. It turned out that there is still such a long distance in the world. The joy that was so far away is the starting point, and the current silence is the starting point. final finish.

Gu Chaoming at the end was silent, walked into the broken home, picked up the blanket that fell on the sofa and pressed against the crack of the sofa, and picked up the cigarette butts and beer bottles on the ground.

When the window was opened to replace the indoor air, a beer bottle shattered at his feet, the slag of the beer bottle flew out, and the remaining beer in the bottle spread on the floor, constantly expanding its territory.

Gu Chaoming ignored it, opened the other window, walked to the sofa, and skillfully carried Gu Tao, who was drunk on the sofa and unwilling to rest, back to the bedroom, and locked the door.

After completing this series of things that were normal in the past, Gu Chaoming leaned back against the door panel and looked at the broken beer bottle slag by the window. The beer's territory stopped expanding. Just around the corner on small snacks plastic trash bags.

His back slipped against the door panel, watching the scene in front of him waiting for him to clean up, Gu Chaoming suddenly lost his support, suddenly collapsed, and even tears welled up from the corners of his eyes.

His emotions were suddenly fragile, the curtains by the window were still fluttering, and the garbage bags on the side of the coffee table finally fell to the floor.

Falling from an all too good world to the desperation of reality.

Emotionally complex.

The world is like two extremes, one is too beautiful and the other is too cruel.

The reality in front of him made the roses sent out at the time of separation become the last touch of spring in Gu Chaoming's world.

The grief in his heart turned the river into the sea, and the despair that was easy to endure before became unbearable and even more oppressive under the too beautiful background.

The wind blew the curtains, tears wet his eyes, Gu Chaoming sat on the ground, his legs arched, he raised his hand, wiped the tears with the bottom of the palm of the hand where it connected to the wrist, sniffed sharply, stood up and patted his pants The ash on it, bring a mop and continue to clean up.

Life is not only hard today but also sweet tomorrow.

With hope for a better tomorrow and the injury that Gu Tao brought to him after waking up, Gu Chaoming lay on the bed and fell asleep, then got up again, and turned on the lamp.

The next day Lin Jianfan received a letter from Gu Chaoming.

Dear Mr. Lin:

Hello

After accepting your confession in a hurry yesterday, I stayed up all night thinking a lot, thinking about our past, thinking about our future, thinking about how to face you the next day, what to call you, and after thinking for a long time, the problem has not been solved, Instead, more problems arise.

For example, what should we do if we disagree in the future? If we are not in the same city, what should you do if you are bullied? If we quarrel, should I go to coax you first, or should I wait for you to calm down and figure it out...

The questions are mounting, so I get out of bed, turn on the lamp, and write to you under the lamp.

People often say that they see each other well, but not seeing you has always forced me to dare not speak to you. I believe that many of my letters will be embarrassing to be in front of you today, tomorrow, yesterday, and in the future. face-to-face stories.

If you find it sweet, please bear with it.

You know, my handwriting is not good-looking, and my writing is not good, so please bear with both.

Also, please bear with me the troubles, unhappiness, tribulations, and hardships in life in the future.

I always feel that today's confession process is too sudden and hasty. It's still in the school toilet. I don't want our start to be so casual. Maybe I'm too formal, but I still hope that this letter can be used as you and me to become each other. Proof of an important part of life.

I am always afraid of getting too close to people, but I desperately want to be closer to you.

I once thought that you and I are both men. What attitude and method should I use to treat you, the young you, the young you, the middle-aged and the old you.

Maybe you need a different approach for different stages, but I promise my love for you is there at every stage.

No, every stage definitely goes further.

After going over and over again, the most clear thing to say is that I love you.

You said that you are very happy with me. Although I have said it again, I still want to tell you - I am really happy to be with you, and the time with you is also added with a booster, and you can run very far in one go , I can't catch it.

Last year, on the day that I kept asking where you were, I wanted to confess to you that I really wanted to see you that day, the kind that wanted to see you when I saw your message. Running with a smile and full of joy, running through the wrong roads without feeling tired.

You hold my wrist, I look at your profile, my eyes stop where it shouldn't, and I think about something bad.

At that time, I seemed to have some different feelings for you, but I never told you.

At first, I felt hesitant and confused about this feeling, and I will call it peace of mind for now.

Only later did I realize that my understanding of the strange feelings was wrong, and that peace of mind was only a small branch of it.

And it's collectively called I love you.

Finally, I have something I want to apologize to you. Before you turned around, because my mind didn't want to do anything, I once said that you had epilepsy, hemorrhoids or something. I sincerely apologize to you here.

If you are still angry, you can only buy you the yogurt you like until you are not angry.

I know you have a big belly, and you will definitely forgive me and love me more, right

May you be healthy, free from disasters and diseases, and stay by Mr. Gu's side forever.

like you Mr. Gu

The stationery is clean and tidy, and the handwriting is clear and straight.

The letter paper swayed in the spring breeze, along with the wicker that grew new leaves not far away.

They walked on the gravel road of the school, and the flowers on the roadside were stained with the spring light and bloomed wonderfully.

The corner of the mouth of the boy who handed out the envelope was cracked, and the oozing blood had been wiped away.

After Lin Jianfan read the letter, he turned to look at Gu Chaoming, who had worried him all morning, and saw the scars on the corners of his mouth and the skin that had been scraped away from his eye sockets.

He was distressed. He didn't know what Gu Chaoming went through after he separated from him yesterday, and he didn't know how Gu Tao beat him to make him fall asleep, get up again, and write this moving letter under the lamp.

His teenager had suffered too much in a place he didn't know, and when he thought about it, a tear fell on the unfolded letter, and a word on the letter was dizzy.

Gu Chaoming, who was most afraid of seeing Lin Jianfan crying, was flustered. He didn't know that Lin Jianfan was crying because he felt sorry for him and was wronged, so he just wiped away his tears with his hands.

Being able to see him and be with him is already the best, but Lin Jianfan still feels distressed.

If Lin Jianfan knew that Gu Chaoming defined the life with him as the best time, Lin Jianfan would definitely blame himself and blame himself for not hugging Gu Chaoming enough so that he could not drive away life with enough hugs the beast.

I blame myself for not kissing Gu Chaoming enough, and I can't tell him with enough kisses, don't worry, I will always be by your side.

Lin Jianfan stretched out his arms to hug Gu Chaoming, Gu Chaoming hugged Lin Jianfan back to comfort him, asked him what was wrong, and jokingly said, "Is my letter so touching? You are crying."

Lin Jianfan, who embraced Gu Chaoming, put his hands around Gu Chaoming's neck with the help of the shadows of the trees.

Gagging Gu Chaoming's jokes in his mouth.

The shadows of the trees swirled, the spring was bright, the teenagers embraced and the teenagers kissed.

In this radiant world.

In a world where roses and beasts coexist.