Confined, endlessly cramped.
Darkness, never-ending darkness.
Like a person who falls into the water, unable to breathe, and falls straight down like a footfall and a cliff.
Obviously he was breathing rapidly, obviously he had been in the same place.
Guan Hui's words that he wanted to take full responsibility for were separated by the wind, and he couldn't hear it clearly with the rustling wind, but he put on the speaker, and the sound continued to expand in the wind, with the sound effect of an old radio.
The old radio kept on looping, again and again, never ending.
Everyone and the director's attention was on Guan Hui, who kept talking and trying to help them take all the blame. No one noticed Gu Chaoming, who was standing in the corner with uncertain eyes.
The old radio was still playing, only Gu Chaoming could hear it, and it only existed in Gu Chaoming's smaller and smaller world.
Lin Jianfan was waiting for him outside the office. He knew that he wanted to see him sooner, but the constant looping sound of the old radio in his ears would not let him go. figure.
"His father is insane, don't play with him."
"My mother said that your father is insane and you are a little insane."
"He didn't come back so late, I'm afraid that one has gone."
"His father's brain has some problems. Since he was a child in such a family, I am afraid that his child will have some problems in the future."
"This violent factor will be inherited. It is not inherited that he has stayed with his father since childhood. After seeing so many beatings, there will definitely be some violent factors left behind."
"Last time his father slammed on the door in the middle of the night, didn't he yell at us too? I'm afraid there is something wrong. This child is pitiful."
"A dragon gives birth to a dragon, a phoenix gives birth to a phoenix, and the son of a mouse can make a hole."
A desperate song played on a loop, Gu Chaoming wanted to press the pause button but couldn't move at all.
He looked up and saw only the starless dark night sky, and then lowered his head, only to find that there was also a starless dark night sky under his feet.
He was enveloped in darkness with the illusion of a starless night sky, and when he looked around, he realized that the darkness around him was seamless, like water poured into a water glass.
Darkness merges with darkness, and there is no gap to be found.
Gu Chaoming didn't know where the wind came from.
From his seventeen years of memories.
From the deepest part of his heart.
His fear, his panic, his anger, from the bottom of his heart.
The heart is like a crack, and the unknown and unspoken things in it burst open, bursting out into bright rivers.
The last time I had this feeling was when I first met Yuanyuan when I met Qu Yingyi in the restaurant.
This time, in the office, I recalled myself waving the rice tray after losing control, and realized that I might really be the neuropathy that my neighbors said.
Maybe the violent factor will really be inherited, and he will really become the second Gu Tao.
Maybe it's not a possibility, but a fact.
The director of the office stood behind the red-brown desk, looking angry because they were fighting in the cafeteria.
After being criticized and educated, Guan Hui tried to take responsibility for himself. After Chen Haiyang entered the office, his mouth was not as sharp as when he was in the cafeteria. He turned the back of his knife and looked like he was thick and obedient, causing Guan Hui to roll his eyes and be watched. The director, who rolled his eyes, said, "What's your attitude?"
Guan Hui did not answer, and Chen Haiyang continued to pretend.
Gu Chaoming, a participant in the fight in the cafeteria, did not participate in the debate on whose guilt they were.
He is standing in the corner.
The lighting in the office is very good. The transparent light of the spring sun shines directly into the room from the window with the security window, but it can't shine into Gu Chaoming's seamless dark world.
The oil stains on his hands that are about to dry up, the little oil stars on his clothes, the picture of himself holding up an iron rice plate is constantly playing in front of him, and the fear in his heart voluntarily plays the music.
The world is shrinking, shrinking, shrinking enough to hold him.
The voice was squeezed, the limbs were dislocated, and the heart shattered.
Guan Hui and Chen Haiyang were sent off to read the review in front of all the teachers and students of the school next Monday. The rest only made verbal criticism and were warned not to do it again.
"Go back," said the director.
The door of the office opened, and the light outside the door poured out like a tsunami, allowing Gu Chaoming to breathe.
Seeing the anxious Lin Jianfan outside the door, his broken heart found a habitat, Gu Chaoming couldn't help but threw himself into Lin Jianfan's arms, buried it on Lin Jianfan's shoulder, absorbed the smell of peace of mind from him, and let him leave the wind and darkness the taste of.
At the door of the dangerous office.
You know, I'm so scared, I love you so much.
I like that when I see you, all the darkness is not to be afraid of.
The roses sent out were kept in a vase on the desk in Lin Jianfan's room, and they could not escape the fate of withering.
What cannot be withered is time, and it is the love of Gu Chaoming in time.
Gu Chaoming thought that by embracing Lin Jianfan, he could drive away his fear that he might become the second Gu Tao.
He was afraid that seventeen years of immersion would make the violence his neighbors talk about come true.
The hug was the cure for his open wound, but not the cure. Seventeen years of disease roots are buried in the deepest soil, and no shovel can do anything.
Hug and live with Lin Jianfan, Gu Chaoming still had a nightmare that night.
A nightmare about a daytime canteen fight.
He dreamed of the noisy cafeteria, Lin Jianfan was pulling him desperately, and he lifted the iron rice plate.
waving.
The water polo exploded, blowing out red blood.
The smell of blood mixed with exclamations all over the body, accompanied by Lin Jianfan's silence, brought the police who arrived immediately.
The red blood stained his palm, seeping into the lines of the palm, seeping down, seeping into the flesh and blood, becoming a crime that he could not cut off.
He looked at the red hands, and he was taken away by the police in the crowd.
He looked back, he saw Lin Jianfan standing in the same place and being pulled by everyone, he shouted, calling his name, a crystal tear from the corner of his eyes fell into Gu Chaoming's eyes.
The early morning sun has not yet appeared, and in the dim night, Gu Chaoming opened his eyes, his eyes were calm and panic.
Water and fire cannot coexist, and calm and panic are also opposites in the world, but both exist in Gu Chaoming's opened eyes.
It was not the first time he had such a dream.
But this is the first time he has dreamed of killing someone, not Gu Tao, and having Lin Jianfan present.
It's like being defiled, but it's not yourself that is defiled. His heart was soaked with blood as early as the moment he had the thought of killing Gu Tao for the first time.
It was Lin Jianfan who was defiled, the young man who was easily overjoyed when he saw it in his heart.
As beautiful as March, he should not have appeared in this bloody violent dream.
Gu Chaoming is domineering and doesn't want Lin Jianfan to get any dirty things, not even in his dreams.
Peace and panic go hand in hand. The scary thing is that after waking up from this dream, Gu Chaoming felt calm, used to, and familiar.
Get up and stand by the bed and get dressed, as if the god of fate made a joke with him.
Hearing the sound outside the door, Gu Chaoming put on his coat and turned to look at the door that could not be closed.
A group of shadows walked past, like a thief, but Gu Chaoming knew that it was Gu Tao who was awakened by the urge to urinate.
The protagonist of the previous dream appeared in front of him after waking up, and Gu Chaoming simply turned his head and put on the other sleeve.
A violent bomb moves around the house, carrying a violent contagion. In the morning, Gu Chaoming didn't say a word to Gu Tao, as if every word he said would taint a bit of violence from Gu Tao.
utterly disgusted.
Put your schoolbag on your back and open the door to get a breath of fresh air.
Gu Chaoming planted a tree in the dense secret forest in his heart, planted the dream of yesterday, and planted the fear of becoming the second Gu Tao in his heart.
"Where are you? I'll get off the bus right now and see if we can enter the school together." Gu Chaoming sent a message to Lin Jianfan.
Get off the bus and wait for a while at the bus stop, waiting for Lin to see Fan. As soon as the bus stopped, Gu Chaoming couldn't wait to walk to the back door and wait for Lin Jianfan to get off.
I want to be involved in your life, every second is a second.
When Lin Jianfan got out of the car, his arms like a thirsty fish meeting the water, put him on Lin Jianfan's shoulder, and his fingers restlessly stroked Lin Jianfan's earlobe and the skin on the side of his neck, absorbing his body bit by bit. Peace of mind.
The dreams and panic of last night were locked in the inner cage, put on transparent clothes, as if they did not exist, only existed last night.
The slight chill in the morning and the lemon-like sunshine are the main fields of the day.
Gu Chaoming's fear came from the deepest part of his heart.
The love for Lin Jianfan also comes from the deepest part of his heart.
It's just that the former can't see the light, and the latter can't see the difference.
No, in the eyes of Chen Haiyang and Wu Shan, they are both invisible.
In the morning light, Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan who lowered his head and took out a bottle of yogurt from his schoolbag.
The fingers holding the yogurt were slender, Lin Jianfan's smile faded, and he won the green lemon-like sunshine, and the sweetness of peach spread in the air.
The sunlight streamed on the yogurt cover and on Lin Jianfan's profile.
Gu Chaoming took the yogurt from Lin Jianfan's hand, and the sunlight streaming down on the yogurt cover, and the sunlight jumped onto Gu Chaoming's profile.
Do what others think, intimidate as you like in your dreams, and how bumpy the road will be in the future, as long as the sunshine is still streaming on the yogurt you handed me, as long as the sunshine is still streaming on Lin Jianfan's profile.
As long as you're not in my blood-stained dreams, as long as you're in the lime-scented spring sunshine.
The daily wheels never stop, driving towards the hot summer days when Gu Chaoming is looking forward to leaving Gu Tao.
Chen Haiyang and Guan Hui read the review in front of the teachers and students of the school under the national flag on Monday. Su Bing's back was not injured, and he was still able to continue to play with girls in the class. truth or Dare.
"Truth or Big Adventure?"
Gu Chaoming sat cross-legged on the stone bench in the school corridor.
The sun shines through the stone pillars and dense vines on the top of the promenade and projected on the stone benches in the promenade several times, and projected on the truth or dare between Gu Chaoming and Su Bing.
When the wind blows, the shadows of the trees sway, and the sun also sways gently.
Not far away are low bushes and cobblestone paths surrounded by stone carvings. On the day Lin Jianfan arrived at the school, Gu Chaoming had nowhere to go, and he gave Lin Jianfan the black baseball cap he wore all day with sweat.
Time flies, Gu Chaoming remembered that evening when the sun was shining, the hot summer air seemed to be still around him, he had nowhere to go, he wandered around the empty school, wandered here, turned around, turned around and saw flinching. His.
He forcefully took himself to the hospital for a check-up, then remembered that day when he opened the door at the hospital and saw Lin Jianfan waiting outside the door, and then remembered that day when he used a smile to cover up his heart touched by Lin Jianfan, and now Gu Chaoming has not told Lin Jianfan Seeing why Fan he laughed at that time.
The light and shadow were mottled. When Gu Chaoming first walked on the promenade, he recalled the past and turned to look at Lin Jianfan, who was already his boyfriend beside him. This was something he had never thought of before.
If he could know the future or go back to the past, Gu Chaoming would most like to say to himself who was sitting on the stone bench in the promenade, "Don't be a coward, he will be your boyfriend in the future, come on!"
While Su Bing was walking ahead with Cen Xili holding the cards, Gu Chaoming lowered his head and kissed the top of Lin Jianfan's head.
"The last two go quickly, don't chirp." Su Bing shouted from the front.
Gu Chaoming didn't know how Su Bing, who was still chatting with Cen Xili, knew that he was chatting with Lin Jianfan.
Gu Chaoming asked, "Are you Erlangshen? Others Erlangshen's eyes are in the front, while yours are in the back."
"I am Erlangshen with eyes behind, you are the roaring dog beside Erlangshen." Su Bing said.
"You're the only one who roars, a single dog." Gu Chaoming retorted unceremoniously.
"Hey," Su Bing was not convinced, and turned around and walked to Gu Chaoming's side. "You said I'm Erlang God, and you said I'm a dog. Gu Shuai, you're so rude to fall in love."
"I'm flat? You don't think about it before you, the speed of the rain in the sky is not as fast as you can change your girlfriend. The first drop of rain just fell, and the second drop of rain is still in the air. What do we hear from your girlfriend's brother, right, Xili," Gu Chaoming asked Cen Xili, and said to Cen Xili: "Xili, I went with him to see his girlfriend that day, and he wouldn't let me tell you, saying It's his black history, the girl called his brother is a junior high school student."
"You want to demolish my platform to expose my old bottom, right?" Su Bing asked Gu Chaoming, "Okay, since you are ruthless, don't blame me for being unrighteous."
Su Bing, who was going to start being unrighteous, bypassed Gu Chaoming, who had exposed his old bottom, and walked to Lin Jianfan's side.
"See Fan, let me tell you something," Su Bing pointed at Gu Chaoming. "Before you came, this guy said you had hemorrhoids, epilepsy and cerebral palsy."
Su Bing complained to Lin Jianfan like a child complaining about Gu Chaoming's reluctance at the time. He didn't know that Gu Chaoming had already stated this in the letter he wrote to Lin Jianfan.
"I know." Lin Jianfan said.
"Ah? You know? When did you know?" Su Bing asked.
If he asked more, he would ask about the letter he tossed and turned around in the middle of the night. Gu Chaoming reached out and pushed Su Bing's head: "God, don't ask more."
"It must be your little secret again." Su Bing's sense of smell is particularly sensitive, "Then let me tell you something else that you don't know."
Su Bing smiled smugly at Gu Chaoming before saying to Lin Jianfan, "He tried to recommend you to me before, and wanted me to be your boyfriend."
I've never heard of this before. Under the mottled tree shadow, Lin Jianfan raised his head and asked Gu Chaoming, Gu Chaoming smiled awkwardly: "Cough, we didn't know each other at that time, you didn't even come to our class."
Speaking of which, Gu Chaoming immediately admitted his mistake: "Don't be angry, don't be angry, it won't happen next time."
"Do you want another time?" Su Bing asked.
"Will you fuck me?" Gu Chaoming kicked Su Bing.
Su Bing turned around to dodge, and used his trump card: "See Fan, you don't know his famous words, but instead! Earn! No! Lose!"
"It's enough!"
Gu Chaoming couldn't bear him, and Su Bing planned to continue. Gu Chaoming let go of Lin Jianfan and reached out to cover Su Bing's mouth. Who would have expected Su Bing to react so quickly and let him escape.
Su Bing stepped on the stone bench of the promenade and jumped down, and Gu Chaoming also jumped down.
Cen Xili shook his head: "The kindergarten children are released again."
Picking a clean place to sit down, Cen Xili and Lin Jianfan sat under the corridor and watched Gu Chaoming hold Su Bing's arm and capture Su Bing, who broke his story.
After a lot of sparring, the good truth adventure began, and the first set was lost, and Su Bing doubted his life.
Gu Chaoming felt that Goddess of Luck had woken up from sleep, so she took care of him, he won the last card game, and this time, Truth or Dare still won.
"Truth or a big adventure?" Gu Chaoming asked Su Bing, who lost, sitting cross-legged on the stone bench in the promenade.
Cen Xili shook his head sympathetically: "A sin."
This sentence made Gu Chaoming laugh, his elbows resting on his knees. Lin Jianfan who was beside him also raised his lips, Gu Chaoming took a peek and caught the smile on Lin Jianfan's mouth.
He is a thief. He used to peek at Lin Jianfan's profile, but now he peeked at Lin Jianfan's smile.
He was not satisfied and wanted more.
He was greedy, and Lin saw the smile on the corner of Fan's mouth.
Quietly putting the stolen smile into his heart, Gu Chaoming continued to ask Su Bing, "Truly or a big adventure?"
"Man, man, what are you afraid of," Su Bing patted his chest, "I want to tell the truth."
"Cut," Gu Chaoming said with disdain, "You patted your chest so loudly, I thought you were going to take a big risk, so I thought about letting you run around the playground naked for three laps."
"Then it's better for you to go on your own. It's good for your body and strengthens your body. You'll need it in the future." Su Bing deliberately looked at Lin Jianfan out of the corner of his eyes when he said this.
Gu Chaoming raised his hand and patted Su Bing's head: "You haven't brushed your teeth in the morning, right? Your teeth are so yellow, so is your speech."
"Let's go," Su Bing also said to Gu Chaoming, "My lord, I brush every day, in the morning and at night."
"Okay, okay, don't hesitate, I'll ask a question." Gu Chaoming said.
"You ask, you ask." Su Bing, who was about to face the truth question, raised his chin at Gu Chaoming, who was asking the question, indifferently.
"Don't lie, I asked," Gu Chaoming asked solemnly, "Have you ever really liked someone until now?"
"Of course, both boys and girls are fine, don't say me, it's too fake. If you want to tell lies, you should be more reliable." Gu Chaoming said.
"The devil said you, you think too well."
The breeze brushed Haruhi's cheeks and the sculptures on the gravel road. Maybe it was because the sculptures were too silent and boring, so they left after a while.
Su Bing first complained about Gu Chaoming, and on the tail of the wind began to answer the truth question raised by Gu Chaoming.
"You mean true love?" Su Bing blinked, "Of course there is."
"You have?" Gu Chaoming didn't believe it.
"Why can't I have it? Can't a slutty prodigal son have true love?"
"Ouch," Gu Chaoming vomited, "you are still a prodigal son, don't put gold on your face, tell me who it is?"
Su Bing pretended to touch his chin: "According to the news I asked my secretary to find out in five minutes, that senior is called Fu Peiru, from the first class of the third grade, she is very beautiful, and the last time you met, was the fight in the cafeteria. The one who helped me."
Gu Chaoming had long forgotten what the girl who helped Su Bing looked like, only the dream that night was real and clear. As soon as Su Bing mentioned that day, the blood-stained nightmare came out to patrol again.
Patrol to see if Gu Chaoming has forgotten it.
Gu Chaoming calmly and quickly stuffed it back into the cage in his heart, so as not to let others discover the darkness passing through his heart.
Su Bing is still talking about how beautiful his senior sister is, just like the girl who praised the class 7 who became their class girl when she came.
"If she is a man, she must be at Fan's level. She is really beautiful. You don't know that I fell and she supported me. I looked at her face, her hair was so fluttering in the light..."
"So...floating?...?" Gu Chaoming frowned.
"Oh, I'm not a representative of the Chinese class. I can achieve full marks in the composition. If you can understand it, just imagine it, and if you don't understand it, forget it."
"No," Su Bing said excitedly, "you mortals can't imagine how beautiful fairies are."
"This is your true love? I don't sound like it." Gu Chaoming said.
"Why isn't I really in love? She's so beautiful."
"Why do you feel like you are talking like Guan Hui? Guan Hui also had this vague feeling when he asked him last time..."
Before Gu Chaoming could finish his words, he suddenly realized that he had missed the point, and immediately turned around halfway: "Uh...you...you are fancy...what are you going to pay?"
Gu Chaoming glanced at Cen Xili as he spoke. Cen Xili had obvious doubts on his face when he heard Guan Hui's name. He wanted to know what they asked Guan Hui behind his back, but he couldn't think that Gu Chaoming was asking Guan Hui when he killed him. Whether he likes him or not, if he knows, Cen Xili will definitely not hear it so easily and pretend not to hear it.
"My goddess is Fu Peiru! Remember this name, I will be called my sister-in-law in the future!" Su Bing said loudly.
"Yes, yes, Fu Peiru," Gu Chaoming nodded again and again, "You are interested in Senior Sister Fu's looks."
"Have you never heard a sentence, it starts with looks, and ends with talent."
"That's what the girls in our class who are chasing stars say."
"It's not all the same. My goddess is talented and beautiful, and she is still a scholar, and she wants to be a big A. She..."
"What are you doing? Points will be deducted for bringing playing cards to school."
Before Su Bing's praise of his goddess' rainbow fart, You Xin's voice came not far away.
The shadows of the trees were chaotic, and the shadows covered You Xin who was approaching. As You Xin got closer, the shadows returned the afternoon sun to him.
The student union armband pinned on the sleeve with a paperclip swayed in the sunlight with You Xin's hand holding the registration book.
As soon as he heard You Xin's voice, Su Bing flew to the horizon with a blank eye.
You Xin walked to the stone bench they were sitting on and looked down at the cards they had not put away.
Before You Xin had time to speak, the registration book had not been opened, and a non-standard Mandarin came from behind.
"What are you doing?"
Hearing this distinctive Mandarin, even Lin Jianfan, who had not been arrested very often, knew that it was the dean who brought him into the classroom when he just came to the school.
"No, the wig is here, let's go, he can't run fast!" Su Bing said quickly in a low voice.
A breeze blew, and she visited the statue that was too silent again. Chunfeng blamed the statue for being too silent. She stopped by the statue, and the sound of running from the other side of the promenade alerted the stopped Chunfeng.
When Chunfeng turned his head, he saw a group of teenagers fleeing hand in hand under the corridor. Chunfeng hides his face and smiles, envying the vitality of the teenagers. The spring breeze catches up with them, blowing up their hair, kissing their smiling faces, and blowing their youth.