A new shallow scar was added to Gu Chaoming's brow bone. It was not long, only the size of a grain of rice, and he couldn't find it unless he got close to his face and looked closely.
The newly added scar was left by Gu Tao's madness after returning home last time. In the past, there was no scar on such a large opening on the forehead, but this time I don't know how to leave a scar.
The wound was complete. Gu Chaoming stood in front of the washing mirror and washed his face. The blood scab fell off. He leaned in front of the mirror and found this small scar.
That day, Gu Chaoming sat in the pavilion where they used to sit, and pointed to the new scar beside the brow bone to Lin Jianfan: "It's only so small, God must be reluctant to destroy such a handsome face of mine."
Lin Jianfan didn't say that he was narcissistic, but just pursed his lips and smiled at him.
Gu Chaoming grabbed Lin Jianfan's hand and touched the small scar beside his brow bone.
"You remember this feeling. If you want to come to me in the next life, just look at the scar on the brow bone."
Gu Chaoming was someone who would panic at night because of nightmares, and who could use the hurt Gu Tao brought to him in front of Lin Jianfan as a lover without revealing the panic of last night at all.
All the panic was planted in the heart, densely packed into a forest, but flowers bloomed under the light of Lin Jianfan.
Under the traction of Gu Chaoming, the finger pulp touched the small scar on Gu Chaoming's brow bone. The scar was too small, and Lin Jianfan couldn't feel the small depression on Gu Chaoming's brow bone.
"But in the next life, I have to have a good relationship with you to get so close and see the scar around your brow bone clearly." Lin Jianfan said.
As soon as Gu Chaoming heard Lin Jianfan's answer, he knew that he was seriously thinking about this issue. It's just his casual words, and Lin Jianfan will also activate his smart brain.
His seriousness has not changed, but he is not as timid as before, and he talks more clearly in front of him.
Gu Chaoming smiled: "You really have to think clearly about any problem."
"I don't want to know how I can find you in my next life."
Gu Chaoming could never resist the love words from Lin Jianfan.
After being with Lin Jianfan and hearing Lin Jianfan say these words, Gu Chaoming realized that Lin Jianfan could speak better than him. He said the words of confession. After they were together, he often blurted out to Lin Jianfan, and the rambling love words were not worth a word from Lin Jianfan.
"If you can't find me, then I'll find you." Gu Chaoming said to Lin Jianfan with a smile.
Lin Jianfan laughed as if thinking of something: "I'll come, I'm afraid you will get lost."
Gu Chaoming's face immediately became hot. He used to be a local who asked Lin Jianfan, who had moved in less than a year, to guide him.
"I'm not sure about the direction, but I won't get lost in your heart."
Gu Chaoming stared at Lin Jianfan's face affectionately, as if he was the king of love words who didn't blush when he told them, but Gu Chaoming couldn't help but break his skills as soon as he finished speaking.
"Pfft" he laughed, and he patted his thigh with a smile: "What old-fashioned love story, do it again, do it again."
After laughing and clearing his throat, Gu Chaoming said to Lin Jianfan with affectionate eyes again: "I don't quite know the direction, but...but..."
Gu Chaoming's mouth was suddenly in arrears, and he couldn't think of sultry words. Fortunately, his eyes were affectionate enough, and the anxiety that he couldn't think of love words was enough to make people understand.
Before being together, Gu Chaoming's life was filled with learning and blaming himself for withdrawing. After being together, Gu Chaoming's life was filled with little sweetness with Lin Jianfan.
Strangely, the frequency of Gu Tao's homecoming has grown alongside the hard-earned sweetness in life.
In the past, it was normal for Gu Tao not to go home for three or five days. Ten days and a half months would probably make Gu Chaoming marvel at how long Gu Tao’s money could last, but recently, Gu Tao’s frequent home visits made Gu Chaoming very uneasy. .
Every time the door lock is opened, the color card of prayer falls to the darkest color.
The door of Gu Chaoming's house is not an arbitrary door of Doraemon. When he opens the door, he can always see Gu Tao sleeping on the sofa, lying on the coffee table, watching the sketches nibbling on sunflower seeds, or opening the door to go to the toilet.
Gu Chaoming doubted what problems Gu Tao encountered in his life outside. One time after returning home, I heard Gu Tao swearing in the living room.
At that time, Gu Tao sobered up and his face was pale and dry. Gu Chaoming thought it was caused by drinking too much alcohol.
Gu Tao scolded the brother Long who came to his house for dinner last time, a middle-aged man in a black leather jacket. Gu Chaoming used his student's intuition to see that Brother Long was not a good person. Gu Tao asked him to dine with them, but Gu Chaoming refused on the grounds that he needed a part-time job.
The part-time job in the supermarket has long since been resigned. Since he went to a man's house during the Chinese New Year, the living expenses given by Qu Yingyi have increased every month, and Gu Chaoming can't spend it every month.
Gu Chaoming told her not to turn so much, and Qu Yingyi turned more next time.
Gu Chaoming was helpless, and he didn't have a lot of money to spend, so he saved all the remaining money, and planned to keep it for living expenses when he went to college.
When he was rich, Gu Tao had a modest and false "show of kindness" to him, showing off the banknotes he easily obtained to Gu Chaoming, who was still earning money part-time at the time. Gu Chaoming guessed right, and the banknotes that Gu Tao easily obtained flowed away easily.
Instead of going home for half a month, I go home every now and then, and most of the reasons for going home are coming back to ask for money.
Most of the remaining money for living expenses given by Qu Yingyi was given to Gu Tao, but in exchange for Gu Tao's "care". Several times, even after handing out a stack of banknotes that he thought was completely enough, Gu Tao still took the money out of his hand.
Gu Chaoming's refusal "no money" in exchange for the follow-up medical expenses, Lao Chen's concern, the attention of his classmates, and Lin Jianfan's kiss in the rush of trees.
The one that gave the most. In the past, giving so much money could keep Gu Tao from going home for a while. At that time, Gu Tao was easily satisfied. Now, Gu Tao is too little no matter how much money he gave. Instead, he was hit the worst.
The back of his head hit the wall, his arms were sore and swollen, Gu Chaoming was pushed against the wall, the shoelaces were loosened, and he stepped on the heel.
The laughter from the loud TV turns sarcastic and turns into diabolical laughter in the dimly lit living room.
After Gu Tao took the money and left home, Gu Chaoming returned to the room to check the wound. He had the experience of being seen through the wound by Lin Jianfan at a glance. Seeing the worried look in Lin Jianfan's eyes, Gu Chaoming deliberately covered up his wound. If he could cover it with clothes, he would cover it with clothes, and if he couldn't, he would cover it with jokes. .
The sore and swollen arm was still discovered by Lin Jianfan when he covered it with clothes. Gu Chaoming made fun of Lin Jianfan, and when Lin Jianfan pulled his arm, Gu Chaoming couldn't hold back the pain, and immediately frowned and said "hiss".
Lin Jianfan blamed him for not talking and seeing a doctor.
"It's not good to see a doctor too much." Gu Chaoming said.
"It's your Gu's crooked reasoning again."
Lin Jianfan's reproachful tone turned distressed, and he held Gu Chaoming's arm to tell him not to hide it from him in the future.
Gu Chaoming didn't want to lie to Lin Jianfan, and he couldn't agree to him, so he could only pretend not to hear and raise his arm to reach Lin Jianfan's mouth: "Come on, take a breath, get better soon."
The smile in his eyes was followed by Gu Chaoming's apology, sorry for not being able to promise you.
The injured arm was raised, and the breeze caressed from above, and the breeze was also distressed.
Gu Chaoming, who was sitting on the fence, leaned on his feet and stretched his arms, and a warm wind that went against the breeze blew through the wound.
A bird chirped from the tree above his head, and the leaves behind him fell in the breeze. Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan who was blowing air on his wound.
thank God I've you.
With you in life, the warm wind builds a barrier against the beasts of life.
With you here, the pain caused by Gu Tao is no longer so hard.
In the breeze, Lin Jianfan's soft fine hair floated in the wind.
Breeze, birds chirping, fences, big trees, and a forest see Fan.
The beauty of life is nothing but that, but it is more than that.
Gu Chaoming had hoped that this kind of life could continue forever.
He is not greedy, even if Gu Tao's beatings and scolding continue, even if he goes home every day to clean up the mess for Gu Tao, as long as he can finally leave the city, as long as he leaves the city with Lin Jianfan by his side.
This bit of patience is over.
Gu Chaoming gritted his teeth for seventeen years.
Seventeen years, the teeth bit the lip wall, the blood filled the mouth, and the nightmare was rampant with the blood.
Gu Chaoming thought that this was the worst situation. He had gritted his teeth for the past seventeen years, and there were still two years left.
Is there anything you can't endure with gritted teeth
But he didn't expect that the strength he thought was still so weak.
There is more money in the bank account.
After receiving the text message, Gu Chaoming knew that it was Qu Yingyi who sent him living expenses again, and once again told Qu Yingyi that the money was enough, not so much, but Qu Yingyi turned a deaf ear and cared about his life.
"Gu Tao will be fine when he goes home. Your son is so old. I told you last time that Gu Tao made money, and it's good for me."
Gu Chaoming deceived Qu Yingyi, who was now worried about him, by using Gu Tao's favor to him in the past.
"Well... it's coming... ok... oops, it's said that Gu Tao treats me well, don't worry about it... "
"Well, that's all, bye."
After hanging up the phone, Gu Chaoming turned around and found Lin Jianfan standing by the wall.
Breaking through Gu Chaoming's lie, Lin Jianfan didn't say anything, just stood there. Gu Chaoming raised his hand to touch the back of his head, walked over to Lin Jianfan and embraced him, and explained dryly, "Call my mother..."
Lin Jianfan didn't say anything, didn't nod his head, and let Gu Chaoming embrace him.
Obviously he didn't do anything wrong, he just lied to his mother and was heard by Lin Jianfan, but Gu Chaoming kept teasing him as if he had made Lin Jianfan angry.
He lowered his head to make Lin Jianfan laugh, and wanted to find out what Lin Jianfan was thinking at this moment in Lin Jianfan's eyes.
Gu Chaoming is like a child who makes mistakes. This child is a bit noisy, chatting a lot along the way, just to make Lin Jianfan, who seems a little unhappy when he hears that he lied to Qu Yingyi, is happy.
"Don't be unhappy, okay?" The joke failed, and Gu Chaoming ran to Lin Jianfan to stop him.
"I'm not unhappy, I'm just a little..." Lin Jianfan looked up at Gu Chaoming, his voice was inexplicably choked, "A little..."
Lin Jianfan choked and swallowed a mouthful of saliva, his Adam's apple went up and down, Gu Chaoming noticed that a layer of tears was pouring out of Lin Jianfan's eyes, and his eyes turned red in an instant, as if he had been wronged.
There was an experience where Lin Jianfan suddenly burst into tears while talking at the soup shop. Gu Chaoming was very careful about Lin Jianfan's emotions, but he still couldn't stop Lin Jianfan's rapid emotional jump.
Lin Jianfan's eyes turned red, and Gu Chaoming couldn't take it anymore.
"What are you crying for?" With no paper in hand, Gu Chaoming could only hold Lin Jianfan's cheek and wipe away Lin Jianfan's sudden tears with his thumb.
"I am... I am..." Lin Jianfan, whose voice was sobbing, took a breath, his shoulders shook, and his mouth was still repeating: "I am..."
"What is it?" His fingers brushed Lin Jianfan's teary eyes.
"I just feel so distressed." Lin Jianfan said.
Gu Chaoming, who wiped Lin Jianfan's tears, was stunned, his fingers wiping tears revealed his heart throbbing when he heard Lin Jianfan say that he felt sorry for him.
His heart was beating fiercely, but Gu Chaoming still comforted Lin Jianfan in a tone that said nothing, "Oh, I'll just call my mother, it's alright, the wound on my face will heal soon, don't cry Ah, don't think about it so much."
Lin Jianfan lowered his head and didn't speak, as if sinking into his own world. Gu Chaoming was only facing an empty shell.
Gu Chaoming hugged the empty shell, he was not a child who no one was worried about. When he was a child, Qu Yingyi loved him, and Liu Yi also loved him. When he grew up, he had Cen Xili and Su Bing by his side. After the divorce, Qu Yingyi loved him even more, but they didn't care like Lin Jianfan.
The concern and distress of others are inquiries and help, while the distress of Lin Jianfan is that he does not speak, and is holding it back alone, as if he himself has suffered some grievances and injuries.
Gu Chaoming hugged him, lowered his head and kissed the top of his head, stroked his back, and said softly, "I know, I know."
Lin in his arms saw Fan Hong's eyes and nodded.
Gu Chaoming patted his head: "You are just too sensitive, I didn't feel anything, but you were crying with tears in your eyes."
Gu Chaoming patted Lin Jianfan's back naturally, not wanting to make his eyes red again: "Want to drink yogurt?"
Seeing Fan shaking his head in his arms, Lin seemed to be in a bad mood.
There will be someone in the world who is so sad because they feel sorry for him, Gu Chaoming never thought about it in seventeen years.
"But I want to drink, let's have a drink together."
"Are you okay?" All of Gu Chaoming's tenderness was integrated into this sentence, "Are you okay?"
Lin Jianfan finally agreed, Gu Chaoming let go of him, Lin Jianfan's eyes were still red.
Gu Chaoming stretched out his hand to wipe his tears again, and touched the eyelashes with his fingertips, trying to take away the red color around Lin Jianfan's eyes.
"You know, you are the first person besides my mother to cry because I feel sorry for me."
Some people are distressed, and seventeen years of suffering is nothing.
Maybe Gu Chaoming came to the conclusion that seventeen years of suffering was nothing, and Gu Tao listened to it. After a few days, Gu Tao returned home and let him taste the despair and mud ponds of life.
The ending song of the TV series reverberates in the living room, sung to the empty sofa. Gu Chaoming hummed to the sound of running water in the kitchen. The oil and foam in the pool floated on the surface of the water. A pair of chopsticks and a few bowls were soaked in the water. A pair of big hands picked up the bowls and chopsticks in the pool to clean them.
In the living room, the ending song of the TV series was mixed with the sound of the door being turned and opened.
If you can open the door with a key, you don't need to think about it. He and Gu Tao are the only ones who have the keys at home, but Gu Chaoming still walked to the kitchen door and looked at the living room.
Gu Tao didn't drink today? Do you know how to open the door with a key
Seeing Gu Tao pulling out the key by the door, Gu Chaoming's hands were wet with water, feeling the novelty.
It is rare for Gu Tao to go home so normally.
Whether Gu Tao was drunk or sober, Gu Chaoming didn't want to pay attention to him.
Pulling out the key, he felt someone watching him by the kitchen door, Gu Tao looked at Gu Chaoming by the door.
Before his eyes met, Gu Chaoming turned around and walked into the kitchen, turning on the faucet and continuing to wash the dishes.
The water flow washes the palm of the hand, and the tableware and chopsticks are cleaned in a few times. Gu Chaoming was surprised that Gu Tao ignored him today. He didn't come to the kitchen to find him when he saw him at the door of the kitchen, and he didn't make trouble for ignoring him.
After washing the dishes without incident, Gu Tao didn't even make a sound.
In the living room separated from the kitchen by a wall, Gu Tao, who made Gu Chaoming feel strange, went straight to his bedroom after entering the door.
Putting the bowl in the cupboard, closing the cupboard door, Gu Chaoming wiped his hands and took out the mobile phone in his pocket to check the time.
He ate a bit late today, and he didn't finish his meal and wash the dishes until after one episode of the evening TV series.
Seeing the time as nothing else, Gu Tao went home strangely, which was disturbing. Gu Chaoming originally wanted to go to the supermarket to buy, so he also went to hide from Gu Tao.
After watching the time, he went to the living room and heard noises in Gu Tao's room. Gu Chaoming ignored it. The noise in Gu Tao's room only made him more determined to go out.
After shopping at the nearest supermarket with my mobile phone, I wandered along the roadside at night with a supermarket plastic bag.
It was another night that I couldn't go home because of Gu Tao.
Sit on the side of the road, buy some snacks, throw the finished snacks in the trash can, and sit on the other side of the road.
Walking aimlessly on the street, passing by the door of a store, I took the flyer that the young lady enthusiastically stuffed into her hand. In order to promote the store, there is also a Winnie the Pooh standing in front of the store.
Standing not far away, Gu Chaoming looked at Winnie the Pooh who was attracting customers by selling cuteness, and remembered the day he wore a Doraemon costume to hand out flyers last year.
On that day, he pressed Gu Tao's face into the noodle soup for the first time, and it was also on that day that he met Lin Jianfan for the first time.
In the dim light, he retracted his guilty palm, and Lin Jianfan helped him pick up the fallen flyer on the noisy street.
Standing not far away, watching Winnie the Pooh, thinking of the sweaty self wrapped in a doll suit at the time, I was so frustrated at the time, I can't say how good I am now, but at least I can confidently say: "I saw it. change yourself."
I see my own changes, the new seventeen is making progress.
He took out his mobile phone and took a picture of the opposite Winnie the Pooh, sent the photo to Lin Jianfan, left the street, and walked to a quiet road to sit and rest.
"The first time I met you was in a doll costume." Gu Chaoming said.
"I remember, Doraemon."
It was a bit cold at night, and Gu Tao's whereabouts and schedule were uncertain. Gu Chaoming didn't know whether he would go out again. If he wanted to go out, would he still be at home now? If you don't go out and sleep at home, do you sleep now
In the cold air, he chatted with Lin Jianfan on the side of the road where there were few people. After chatting until after ten o'clock, Lin Jianfan had to go to bed. After saying good night to each other, Gu Chaoming put away his mobile phone and looked around.
It was silent, no one was seen, only the pale moonlight spread.
Gu Chaoming decided to go home. Recently, Gu Tao went home too often and asked for money too fiercely. Gu Chaoming decided to take a gamble and take a gamble to see if Gu Tao was at home or not.
Going home with the purchases, seeing the lights on upstairs, Gu Chaoming's heart was half cold, and thinking that Gu Tao might not turn off the lights again, Gu Chaoming set foot on the stairs home.
The moment the key was inserted into the door lock and the door was opened, Gu Chaoming knew that he had lost the bet.
In the house behind the door, all the lights are on. Whether it is the toilet or the kitchen, the bright lights illuminate all the small houses, as if it is a harbinger of something terrible. Disturbing.
Under the abnormally lit lights are the messy living room, messy room, messy kitchen, and even the TV has moved and has not recovered.
The clothes in the closet in the room actually appeared in the living room, the refrigerator door was as wide open as a human being opening his coat to reveal his new sweater, and there was a lone carrot shivering.
The messy home complained to Gu Chaoming who went home, and complained to Gu Tao who was crazy.
Facing the messed up home, Gu Chaoming had already learned to treat it with indifference.
Indifferently, he put the plastic bag with daily necessities in his hand by the door, went to the sofa to pick up his clothes, and tidy up the messy home.
Gu Tao has been sitting on the sofa in the living room. Gu Chaoming saw him long ago when he opened the door, but chose to ignore it.
A living person was sitting on the sofa. Gu Chaoming first paid attention to the messy home. When he picked up the clothes from the sofa, he walked past Gu Tao as if he hadn't seen him.
Under the eaves where the two of them were, only Gu Chaoming's voice was picking up things, all the lights chose to be silent, exuding their own light alone.
He picked up the towel on the ground and put it back in place, and took the cardboard box that Gu Tao had turned out from nowhere, and put the large items on the ground that were damaged by Gu Tao and turned into rubbish.
The cardboard box was filled little by little. When Gu Chaoming squatted down to pick up the broken mirror on the ground, a black shadow enveloped the cardboard box full of rubbish at hand, and enveloped Gu Chaoming, who was careful not to cut his hand by the glass.
Light and shadow were resisted by demons, and living beasts roared.
Gu Chaoming single-handedly stood up with the morality of not being able to do stupid things and the urge to keep suppressing.