The streets full of lanterns were crowded and bustling with people. The street lights on the side of the road were always on, and the music in the store was changing. It was a lively scene. At the end of the lively, Gu Chaoming sent a message to Lin Jianfan and heard the voice he least wanted to hear.
"Chaoming."
The voice that I didn't want to hear the most became a little old and weak, and it brought Gu Chaoming's most contemptuous feigned kindness.
Gu Chaoming didn't feel any sincere love from the tone of his pretended kindness, he only felt frightened and nauseated after the fright.
Gu Tao once again called his name in this tone, as if he was a dutiful father and he was a rebellious son who ran away from home.
Disgusting, hypocritical.
Why is it still in my life? !
Why show up when I thought you'd never show up again? !
Gu Chaoming clenched the phone that almost slipped after hearing Gu Tao's voice. See you again Gu Tao.
He was just restless.
An overly stable life made him feel uneasy.
The normal and stable life that others live by every day is his hard-earned happiness. Gu Chaoming is always worried that Gu Tao will suddenly appear and take it away.
I'm afraid, like last time, take him back to that home and tell him that the escape you thought was just a dream of running away from home, you still have to come back to this home after all, because your roots are here, because your blood flows in here.
Gu Tao came to snatch the stable life he finally got. Gu Chaoming looked at the street lights, as if he saw himself who was forced to follow Gu Tao home that night.
He remembered the night he met Lin Jianfan, the first time he extended his guilty palm to Gu Tao, the police car on the side of the road, the flashing lights on the police car and the silver-white handcuffs in the dark night.
It was windy that night. When he thought his life was stable, he thought of the wind that night again.
The wind of that night pierced through him tonight.
The manic and rapid growth in the heart, like a thorny vine, tightens the heart.
asphyxia.
Gu Chaoming suppressed the mania in his heart, turned around with his heart tightened by thorny vines, and saw a familiar face behind him.
The familiar face was sloppy and yellow, and the hair was knotted, and the clothes were normal, but the person was thinner, and with the sallow complexion, the whole person appeared weak and malnourished.
Gu Chaoming's eyesight is very good, and he can catch Gu Tao's changes at a glance at night.
Gu Chaoming didn't know what Gu Tao was doing. He turned around and was frightened by Gu Tao's sallow face, but he hid his fright very well, hiding his innocence and disgust on the surface.
Gu Tao approached step by step, the steps he approached and the body approaching made Gu Chaoming want to step back.
Gu Chaoming steadfastly stopped his steps, not letting himself show fear.
"Where have you been? No one is at home." Gu Tao stood in front of Gu Chaoming.
Gu Chaoming stopped and did not step back, and Gu Tao stopped outside his acceptable range.
He used to be able to accept such a distance from Gu Tao, but now he wants to stay away no matter how far he is from Gu Tao.
Don't show up in my life again! This is Gu Chaoming's only request to Gu Tao.
"I've moved out." Gu Chaoming said in a calm and dispassionate tone.
The more disgust for Gu Tao is to taste the consequences of living an independent and stable life.
"Why move out?" Gu Tao seemed to have forgotten what happened that day, as if Lin Jianfan had never persuaded him in a calm tone in front of him.
Gu Chaoming didn't know how a person, a father, a father could be so shameless. When he asks for money, he is a wild beast, and when he is mad, he pretends to be a loving father who cares for his children.
Gu Chaoming is still indifferent and fearless: "I want to move, you know the reason why I moved out."
Gu Chaoming didn't play his tricks with Gu Tao. He explained that, breaking Gu Tao's pretense of not knowing anything, Gu Tao couldn't continue to play stupid.
Gu Chaoming didn't give Gu Tao a chance to pretend to be stupid, so Gu Tao pretended to be stupid in another way.
"Because of that kid? What's your name?" Gu Tao made a reminiscence expression, "What's your name? That little boyfriend who took you away."
Gu Chaoming suppressed the anger in his heart and did not want to hear Lin Jianfan's name from Gu Tao's mouth. Hearing Lin Jianfan's name from Gu Tao's mouth was as if the name Lin Jianfan was expected by his parents was tainted by Gu Tao.
Gu Chaoming didn't want Lin Jianfan to appear in their conversation, so Gu Chaoming said calmly to the end, "It's none of your business."
Gu Tao glanced at Gu Chaoming, ignoring Gu Chaoming's eyes and laughing: "Leave a bad impression on your little boyfriend, that's the first time I've seen a parent, hahaha... No, I saw it at the school gate last time. ."
Gu Tao seemed to think of something important, and slapped his hand: "Oh, then I didn't grab my future last time..."
Gu Tao said, his eyes moved to Gu Chaoming and asked.
Gu Chaoming looked at him coldly, with no expression on his face. Gu Tao so shamelessly mentioned the past, since Gu Chaoming did not allow him to treat the past as if it never happened, then he treated it as nothing major, as if those things were not wrong, but an ordinary father who loved his son and brought his son back. Family.
The surface was flat, but Gu Chaoming felt nauseated inside.
For seventeen years, Gu Chaoming and Gu Tao lived together for seventeen years, and they already knew how to digest Gu Tao's shamelessness. He hid all his disgust and nausea in his heart, his surface was as cold as frost, and he was not moved by Gu Tao's words at all.
Gu Chaoming stood like the day Lin saw Fan protecting him, just like a machine that only produced plain things, no matter what Gu Tao said, he would only respond plainly.
"Young people are easy to be shy, don't say it's okay, Dad thinks that little guy is handsome." Gu Tao said with a smile, "You do this, Dad doesn't object, I can't control it anyway, but ah, old man Dad still wants to say that you are the only seedling in our family, and you are the only one..."
"It's none of your business." Gu Chaoming interrupted Gu Tao unceremoniously.
Gu Chaoming just wanted to praise Gu Tao's turning point. He said that he agreed and then said that there was only one single seedling. When he heard a single seedling, Gu Chaoming not only understood what Gu Tao was going to say next, but also understood that Gu Tao was fighting for himself before. Custody is for what.
It is because his name is Gu Chaoming, not because he is Gu Chaoming.
Knowing this truth at the end of the busy street at night, Gu Chaoming's heart was swirling coldly, he thought he had already seen it clearly and would no longer be sad because of this incident, but he couldn't help but feel sour in his heart.
A family of four, a newborn baby, a few-year-old child, and a loving couple form a complete home under the sunset. Gu Tao was right in front of him, and his father was right in front of him, but Gu Chaoming still felt that he was alone in the bustling street.
When the cold wind blows, he is alone, and when the cold wind stops, he is alone.
forever alone.
No matter how the street lights are on, he is still alone.
The streetlights are chaotically distributed, and he can have many shadows, deep or shallow, but he is still alone.
The lonely wind blew through him and blew his heart cold.
He always felt so lonely. When he learned that Qu Yingyi didn't want him, when he received that Qu Yingyi said he couldn't take him to his new home, and when he took Yuanyuan and Qu Yingyi to part with him at the amusement park, he listened to him. When Yuanyuan called her mother on the other end of the phone, when Gu Tao threatened to kill him if she dared to go home...
Gu Chaoming, who was about to become an adult, was too much suffocated by loneliness. In front of Gu Tao was still talking about why it was none of his business, Gu Chaoming didn't listen to a word, he just felt that the night was cold and loneliness prevailed.
The sense of loneliness is like a ghost walking at night, turning into wind, blowing in his heart, blowing his heart cold.
When it was cold, he was always very sensitive to warmth, and the warmth hidden behind loneliness was plucked out by Gu Chaoming with his hands little by little.
It wasn't because Lin saw that Fan was his boyfriend and he was so happy for him that he remembered him when he was feeling lonely, but Gu Chaoming found out, maybe he had already discovered that, in all his lonely nights, there was Lin. See Fan's company.
In the evening when he was threatened by Gu Tao, Lin Jianfan took him to the hospital for examination. When he heard Yuanyuan calling Qu Yingyi's mother for the first time, Lin Jianfan chatted with him. When he ran away from home, Lin Jianfan was concerned about whether he was insomnia...
Lin Jianfan was always by his side when he was lonely.
Maybe it was just a coincidence, maybe it was Lin Jianfan's initial flattery, or maybe there was Lin Jianfan's real concern for him, Lin Jianfan always appeared just when he needed it.
Standing in the not-so-prosperous part of the bustling street, he just wanted to get close to Lin Jianfan, just wanted to hear Lin Jianfan speak, just to hear Lin Jianfan speak.
Lin Jianfan was the first boy to cry because he felt sorry for him.
He just wanted to see him laugh, he just wanted to see him now.
No matter what Gu Tao was saying, Gu Chaoming picked up his phone and opened the screen, wanting to send a message to Lin Jianfan and say something.
"are you home yet?"
"what are you doing?"
Just talk to him.
But Gu Tao wanted to take away his only support.
Gu Tao babbled and talked a lot, only to find that Gu Chaoming, who was in front of him, was not listening at all, but picked up his mobile phone. Gu Tao, who should not have been angry with just three words, was instantly angry, and he reached out and wanted to grab the mobile phone in Gu Chaoming's hand.
After all, he was a seventeen-year-old boy, and Gu Tao, who was in his forties, couldn't keep up with the speed of the boy's growth. As soon as Gu Chaoming found out that Gu Tao was robbing his phone, he immediately put the phone back in his pocket.
"What are you doing?" Gu Chaoming finally stopped being plain, and he shouted at Gu Tao fiercely.
Gu Chaoming is no longer dull, and Gu Tao is no longer pretending to be his father, so he snorted: "Yo, finally stop pretending? Let me tell you, I don't agree, your mother will definitely not agree, your mother's **** *”
Gu Tao continued to swear in his mouth, Gu Chaoming glared at him: "Shut up for me!"
Gu Chaoming didn't listen to Gu Tao's words, all Gu Tao's words in his ears were rubbish, and they would only lead to two aspects in the end.
One is swearing, the other is asking for money, and the latter one is more likely.
Gu Chaoming didn't guess wrong, Gu Tao scolded Qu Yingyi for being stopped by him and turned the topic to money soon after.
"Your mother gave you a lot of money, didn't you? Don't you give Dad some money so rich?" Speaking of Qian Gu Tao's eyes, the randomness in his eyes turned into the light that flashed when the jackal smelled the fishy flesh.
"I've worked so hard to take you for so many years, so let's talk about it for my dad. You can also transfer money to me..." Gu Tao said, and gradually reached out to Gu Chaoming's cell phone pocket.
Gu Chaoming, who had always faced Gu Tao with a calm attitude, was furious when Gu Tao wanted to take his mobile phone.
Yes, rage.
Gu Chaoming opened Gu Tao's outstretched hand.
Gu Tao thought that Gu Chaoming's anger was sudden, but he didn't know that Gu Chaoming's anger had already risen when he heard him call his name.
It doesn't take time, just because he appears again, and he appears again, means he will go back to that hell.
Gu Chaoming's inner anger kept suppressing, and finally burst out when Gu Tao grabbed the phone. Gu Chaoming opened Gu Tao's outstretched hand, and Gu Tao also said, "Is this father still willing to use the money?"
Father? Gu Chaoming just thought it was a big joke.
so funny.
"I have worked so hard to raise you for so many years" Gu Tao could actually say it, Gu Chaoming felt that he could no longer describe Gu Tao as shameless.
Gu Chaoming just wanted to point at Gu Tao's nose and ask him, "How many faces do you have enough to say these shameless words? My mother raised me, not you, and now it's my mother who gives me money, not you! "
Gu Chaoming hated himself when he was emotional and exposed, and now he was still on the street, Gu Chaoming tried his best to suppress his anger.
Gu Chaoming was afraid that he would be too angry and would do something beyond his rationality that he would regret and turned around, but Gu Tao still chased after him "for money or not for life".
"You don't want to leave, go back with me. I'll ask you to give me some money... cough..."
Gu Tao's throat was pinched by a pair of big hands, and his footsteps were forced to retreat due to the strength of his neck. His back leaned against the wall of the nearby shopping mall, and his feet were almost suspended in the air. Gu Chaoming was still not strong enough.
Gu Chaoming didn't use all his strength, but Gu Tao still felt breathless in his throat, as if he felt that death was approaching, Gu Tao opened his eyes wide.
"go to hell."
"Why are you still catching up?"
"I'll be fine if you die!"
Gu Chaoming grabbed Gu Tao's neck with both hands and pressed Gu Tao against the glass wall. The pace and questions that Gu Tao was catching up with completely burned the anger in Gu Chaoming's heart, tearing down the door for Gu Chaoming to resist anger and maintain reason.
With both hands clenching Gu Tao's neck, the demon in his heart was released from the cage again, and he kept coaxing, making him strangle Gu Tao to death.
"Strangle him!"
Gu Chaoming squeezed Gu Tao's neck very hard at first. The seventeen-year-old 1.8-meter boy had the strength to grab a middle-aged man in his 40s, but Gu Chaoming didn't. He didn't want to. hold back.
The hand holding Gu Tao's neck was hot and burning, and holding Gu Tao's neck was like holding a red-hot iron.
The palms hurt, but the heart is extremely happy.
Just strangle him to live a peaceful life.
The burning sensation in his palm reminded him to the last sanity, and the hot iron burned through the skin and scalded the flesh.
Gu Chaoming pinched Gu Tao's neck and saw his own reflection on the glass on the wall of the shopping mall.
The reflection also pinched Gu Tao's neck.
Gu Chaoming asked the reflection: "Who are you?"
The reflection answered him: "I am you."
Gu Chaoming didn't ask any more, and the reflection said again, "Do you want to kill him?"
Gu Chaoming did not answer.
The reflection suddenly changed from him to that of Lin Jianfan.
Lin Jianfan was smiling at him, and Lin Jianfan asked him, "Are you really going to do this?"
A question brought back countless smiling faces in Gu Chaoming's memory.
Lin Jianfan's eyes looked like starlight, Lin Jianfan's mouth was slightly smiling, Lin Jianfan was drinking yogurt, Lin Jianfan was eating...
"You do something stupid and you'll never see it again."
The reflection somehow changed back to its own appearance.
Gu Chaoming looked at the reflection on the wall and panicked.
never to be seen again.
see Fan.
"And you can't see the sun on the day of the college entrance examination."
college entrance examination
The day he put all his escape hopes on sustenance.
"And Qu Yingyi, Su Bing, and Cen Xili, I can't see them anymore."
Holding Gu Tao's arm trembling, Gu Chaoming did not use all his strength to lift Gu Tao up.
"Think about your future, and those who love you, are you really willing?"
"You really don't regret it?"
"I hear your panic."
Gu Chaoming looked at his reflection on the wall, his breathing was slow and rapid, the strength of his palm gradually subsided, his arms were shaking, and Gu Chaoming's eyes were full of bloodshots.
"Who the hell are you?" Gu Chaoming roared.
"I said I was you."
This is the last sentence said by the reflection. The last sentence of the reflection seems to be adding sound effects, getting further and further away.
Gu Chaoming's arms trembled, as if water got into his ears when he was taking a bath, and he couldn't hear the sound for a while, but his ears fell, and the noise of the world came like a tide.
"Relax, child, have something to say."
"What's the matter, so impulsive."
"Come on, let go."
I don't know when a group of people surrounded him, all pulling his arm to let him let go.
Gu Chaoming didn't know when they surrounded them, maybe it was a passerby of justice. Gu Chaoming turned around and looked around, and saw unfamiliar faces, and the unfamiliar faces were opening and closing their mouths to persuade him to let go.
After seeing unfamiliar faces, his eyes returned to his raised arm, Gu Tao was pulling the arm that was pinching his throat.
Gu Chaoming was frightened in his heart, and his heart was chaotic, like a defeated battlefield, with broken armor everywhere.
"If you have something to say, don't be impulsive, child." An old and sandy voice entered Gu Chaoming's cochlea.
An old man with a white beard persuaded him.
Gu Chaoming looked at the old man, he suddenly remembered the lonely dream of dying together with Lin Jianfan that day.
The old man was nothing like the old man in the dream, but it still reminded him of that dream.
Gu Chaoming's arm suddenly loosened his strength, let go of Gu Tao's neck, and Gu Tao was able to breathe.
The people upstairs heard the noise downstairs, walked to the window and looked down, the crowd in a circle was pulled out of a hole, and a teenager rushed out of the encirclement and ran towards the side of the road.
A taxi on the side of the road happened to have a passenger getting off, and the teenager who rushed out of the siege immediately got in the car and fled.
There were a few passers-by in the crowd who were still chasing after a few steps. Seeing that the taxi had already driven away and couldn't catch up, they went back to care about the man who was pinched, but they saw that the man who was pinched stood up and wanted to leave just like the boy who ran away.
"We called the police, and 120 will come right away."
"It's okay, it's okay, that's my son's disobedience." Gu Tao explained that he hastily avoided the caring crowd and ran away.
The passers-by who acted bravely for justice were at a loss, the parties had all left, and the crowd gradually dispersed.
"boom."
Huge door slam.
Lights turned on in the dark living room.
Gu Chaoming, who fled at the entrance, stepped on each other's heels, took off his shoes and ran into the living room as quickly as possible.
The floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room were closed, and the curtains were open. Gu Chaoming ran over and hurriedly closed the curtains as if he was afraid of being discovered by others.
He looks like a criminal on the run.
Gu Chaoming closed the curtains, walked to the sofa and sat down. He picked up the cup on the coffee table but found that there was no water in the cup.
His chest was heaving as he ran upstairs, he put down the tea cup, he seemed suddenly calm, strode to the closet in the room, took out the change of clothes and went to the bathroom to take a shower.
After taking a shower, wipe your hair casually, and go straight to bed with still-dry hair.
Gu Chaoming closed his eyes, expecting sleepiness to come. He didn't wait for sleepiness to come. What he waited for was a special ringtone.
Specially customized ringtones for Lin Jianfan.
A special bell rang in the dark room, and the phone screen lit up, illuminating the roof, which had no trace of dampness.
Gu Chaoming huddled in the quilt, his fingers running through the wet hair.
"Hey."
"Well, I've been home long ago, and I've gone to bed."
"I forgot to tell you, I didn't see the information, sorry."
"Well, good night."
The hung up phone, the quiet room, and the undimmed light from the phone illuminates a pair of tearful eyes.