It was raining heavily outside.
Qi Anan trembled a little, and said in a low voice: "Okay, I'll go out and kneel." She raised her head hastily, "How long will you kneel before you let me go?"
Jiang Lu didn't answer. With obvious disgust in his eyes, he stood up and walked back to the desk, as if he didn't want to take another look at her.
Qi An'an walked outside with her empty eyes open. She didn't have an umbrella and let the rain pour on her body. Slowly turned and faced the direction of the door, and slowly knelt down.
The sky was dark, and the heavy rain lasted from morning to night without a moment's rest.
The night was dark, when Jiang Lu came out of the building with an umbrella, Qi An'an was still kneeling on the steps outside, her lips were white and pink, her body was very weak, as if she would faint in the next moment.
Seeing Jiang Lu passing by without looking sideways, Qi Anan got up anxiously, but fell to the ground unsteadily, and she quickly reached out to touch Jiang Lu's trousers.
I touched it, but I couldn't pull it back.
But Jiang Lu stopped.
Qi Anan was drenched all over, looked at him embarrassedly in the rain, and stretched forward with all his strength: "Have you calmed down?"
Jiang Lu took a step back, and Qi An'an's hand fell powerlessly into the puddle on the ground.
His eyes were extremely cold, he tilted his head slightly, and the smile on the corner of his mouth was cold: "No."
…
When Jiang Lu opened his eyes, it was raining outside.
It was also the sound of rain, but at this moment it was not as cold as in the dream. He was lying on the soft bed with a warm body in his arms.
But his heart was extremely cold, and he fell straight, straight down.
He seemed to be still trapped in the dream just now and couldn't get out. He reached out to hug An An countless times, but failed countless times in despair.
He punched his own face hard, but to no avail.
He wanted him to wake up, open his eyes and take a good look, how could he treat An An like this? !
But all in vain.
The heart in his chest seemed to have been shattered into pieces by the dream just now, and he couldn't even piece it together.
He has always been afraid of his nightmares, afraid that the scenes in the dreams will become reality, so he acted cruelly and perversely, eradicating all the people who might threaten him one by one, but finally found out that the person who hurt An An —
Jiang Lu closed his eyes, it was him.
be yourself.
Jiang Lu looked down at the girl sleeping in his arms, she was still sleeping so innocently and innocently, leaning on his arms trustingly, as if this was the safest place in the world.
He blinked, tears running down the bridge of his nose and into the pillow.
If it was just a dream, he wouldn't be as desperate as he is now. He would tell himself that this is an extremely absurd dream, and it will never, ever happen in reality.
But the frightening thing is that from that moment on, Jiang Lu realized that everything was not just a dream, he had a vague memory: he remembered that he used to sit on that sofa and looked condescendingly at the people kneeling at his feet , Zeng said to her coldly and softly.
… Why
Why did they end up like this? This is the only person he cares about in this world, the only light in his dark life, all the softness and warmth in his life are given by An An, how could he treat her like that
An An smiled at him, and he could die for her.
His baby is so good, but why did he become an executioner in the end
Jiang Lu's lips trembled, and tears rolled down silently.
His breathing lost his composure, and Qi An'an was a little dazed and awake: "Jiang Lu, what's wrong... are you cold... why are you shaking..."
She was so sleepy that she closed her eyes and reached out to feel for the corner of the quilt, and lifted it up to help cover Jiang Lu's back tightly.
Jiang Lu felt Qi An'an's warm little hands help him tuck in the quilt, but the fear and pain made him completely speechless at this moment.
Qi An'an unconsciously patted Jiang Lu, stretched his hand back to touch his hand, and frowned when he touched it, but half opened his eyes this time: "Jiang Lu... why are your hands so cold? You Bring the other one too."
Half asleep and half awake, she said with a sweet smile in her voice, "This time it's my turn to cover your hands..."
Jiang Lu didn't dare to move, he was afraid that Qi An'an would wake up completely if he made a big move, and she would find herself crying, and he couldn't answer at all when he asked.
Just like that, Jiang Lu let Qi Anan hold his hand tightly and fell asleep again, and then quietly got up.
Jiang Lu stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, looking at his pale face under the warm yellow light.
He remembered the middle-aged woman who sold lamps and said to him: "This color is good, bright and not hurting the eyes, and the light of this color is very warm at home. Today, your lover didn't come with you, so you should buy this. She's sure to like it."
He also thought it was very good at the time, but now standing under the light, his face is still like a ghost, which makes him shudder.
Before falling asleep, his heart was still full of peace and happiness, but at this moment he fell from the clouds to hell.
The fuzzy memory in his mind seemed to be clearer again, Jiang Lu could even recall the sound of water splashing under his feet when he walked past Qi An'an.
He slowly raised his hand, and lightly touched the mirror with his fingertips. He looked at himself in the mirror and showed a bleak smile.
"Am I crazy..."
…
After waking up the next morning, Qi An'an found that there was no one around.
Jiang Lu woke up so early, Qi Anan looked at the time, it was only past six o'clock, but he was not around, and she couldn't fall asleep, so she simply got up and went downstairs.
Jiang Lu was sitting on the sofa in the living room, his eyes were a little empty, he stared blankly at the front, not knowing what he was thinking, when he heard the movement, he looked up and stood up from the sofa all at once.
"An'an..."
As soon as he spoke, Jiang Lu realized that his voice was unbelievably hoarse. He cleared his throat before continuing, "An'an, why did you get up so early? I haven't made breakfast yet. I'm going now."
"Hey, wait a minute," Qi Anan held onto Jiang Lu, "What's the matter? Why do you look so pale? Are you sick?"
Jiang Lu has faint bruises under his eyes, his face is also pale, and his condition is very poor, he is a completely different person from yesterday.
Qi Anan looked distressed, and reached out to touch Jiang Lu's forehead, but he didn't have a fever.
"Am I looking bad?" Jiang Lu pulled Qi An'an's hand and smiled at her lightly, "It's okay, maybe it's because I got up too early, it'll be fine after I wash up and eat."
He sat withered in the middle of the night, thinking that his complexion should not be much better. It's just that he didn't expect Qi An'an to wake up so early, he should have tidied himself up in advance.
Qi An'an didn't think that Jiang Lu's condition didn't look like a physical illness, but rather like he had been hit. Although Jiang Lu was occasionally discovered by her when he was worried in the past, it is by no means in this state today.
Qi Anan held Jiang Lu back and refused to let him go: "Jiang Lu, is something wrong? If something happens, don't hide it from me. I'm not a child, so I can bear it with you."
Jiang Lu's heart ached sharply, the more Qi An'an cared so gently, the more he felt almost suffocated.
Jiang Lu secretly took a deep breath, buried all his emotions deeply in his heart, and showed a gentle smile like usual to Qi An'an: "It's really fine, An'an, don't worry."
He secretly bit the tip of his tongue, savoring the taste of blood. He does not accept his fate, whether it is a dream or a memory of his previous life, he will not repeat the same mistakes in this life.
…
Jianglu remained silent for several days, silently thinking about how to deal with it.
Unexpectedly, the situation became more and more serious.
In the past few days, he would fall into nightmares almost as soon as he fell asleep, and even Jiang Lu found that he was no longer having these dreams from the perspective of a bystander, he became the person in the dream.
Every time I wake up, the memories of the past will become clearer little by little. He vaguely remembered how he shot Qi Yan, and also recalled his indifference to Qi An'an.
The panic in his heart was getting deeper and deeper, and the catastrophe was in front of him, as if no matter how hard he struggled, he couldn't escape the grasp of God.
"I probably understand what you said, but I would like to ask first, does your family have a history of mental illness?"
Facing the friendly doctor in a white coat, Jiang Lu moved his lips: "I don't know."
The doctor nodded: "Okay, judging from your data now, there is nothing wrong with your mental state, and all indicators are normal. As for the dream and the memory you mentioned, if you don't mind, can I have a chat ?”
Jiang Lu didn't speak, the doctor cleared his throat, and asked tentatively: "In fact, people often say that they think about it every day and dream at night, and there is no scientific basis for this statement. People's dreams are very complicated, and there are all kinds of strange things. Dreams are not enough to support anxiety, and it is not uncommon for a person to have the same dream repeatedly, but it is too decisive to judge that this dream must happen in reality.”
Jiang Lu was silent for a while, then said in a low voice: "What if. How can I explain the memory that appears in my mind now?"
"It may be caused by your work pressure, or it may be caused by the environment you lived in since childhood, which has had a certain impact on you personally. But it may not necessarily be called memory, but it is more precisely a kind of spiritual memory. Fantasies. And taking a step back, your test results are not abnormal, so don't worry too much... "
The doctor smiled, made a relaxed gesture and continued to say the following: "...Suddenly one day I will lose control and do something against my heart. This is a process, even if what you are worried about will eventually happen, there must always be an omen, a process. This is the result of your examination, and any doctor who reads it will think that you are healthy."
Jiang Lu looked down at the checklist handed over by the doctor. He had already read it before he came, and he understood that there was really nothing wrong with him.
His gaze was a little wandering, such a tall man sat in a chair, showing a kind of helplessness and fragility: "But... even if it's not a memory... it's a spiritual fantasy, how could I have such a fantasy?"
The doctor said, "Don't be so nervous. With all due respect, you love your wife very much, don't you?"
Jiang Lu's empty eyes focused for a moment, and his eyes gradually settled down to the real point. The corners of his lips curled into some undetectable arcs, and he corrected: "Fiancee."
The doctor smiled: "Sorrow arises from love. It is because you are too strong about this emotion, so when you have a bad dream, your anxiety will be greater than ordinary people, and you will be more anxious. Worrying about the dream itself has created a series of vicious circles. Relax, you are fine, if you are really worried, you can check again after a while."
Before Jiang Lu left, the doctor reminded: "If this kind of situation still happens, I suggest you go to the psychology department."
…
"Sister Yu Lin, has Jiang Lu encountered trouble at work recently?"
After Qi An'an lived with Jiang Lu, she became more and more free. She was almost busy with her thesis. She went to her supervisor's office for an internship. However, the end of the year was approaching and she had relatively free time. She had nothing to do every day, and her supervisor always gave her love leave.
This day Qi Anan came back early again, after thinking about it, he ran to Jianglu Company to deliver meals to him. Just when he entered the door, he ran into Yu Lin, Qi Anan stopped her, and asked her about his recent worries.
"I rely on An'an, you are here to deliver meals to the boss again, why is the boss so lucky? I found you such a little treasure." Yu Lin didn't take Qi An'an's problem to heart, and only looked at Qi An'an's hand Lunch box voila.
Qi Anan smiled: "I made it myself this time. Anyway, I have nothing to do recently, so I just learned it at home. If it tastes good, I will bring it to you next time."
"No, no, you don't have to bring it to me, I don't dare." Yu Lin immediately waved her hand and refused, she still knew a little about her boss, she would be jealous of anyone who was crazy, and she dared not borrow ten dog guts Meals cooked by my sweetheart.
Qi Anan looked around and asked again in a low voice: "Sister Yu Lin, has the company encountered any problems recently? Is it serious? If it's convenient, can you mention it to me a little bit?"
She doesn't know much about these aspects, but Jiang Lu's emotions must be wrong recently. Although his face is as gentle and calm as before, she is his closest person, and he can't hide it from himself when he is unhappy.
Qi An'an is just afraid that Jiang Lu will have difficulties, but if it is really difficult, she can quietly mention it to Qi Yan, Qi Yan is always better than her, and it is better to help Jiang Lu than he alone . But if you ask Jiang Lu, you won't be able to find anything, so Qi An'an has no choice but to ask Yu Lin.
Yu Lin looked puzzled: "Is there anything wrong with the company recently?" She thought for a while, and said happily, "Let's talk about two businesses. I have to say, our company is really awesome."
Qi Anan let out a thoughtful "Oh".
"What's the matter? Is the boss in a bad mood recently? I don't think he's any different from usual. Could it be that he's throwing face at you?" Yu Lin's heart was ringing with alarm bells, Jiang Lu, is this a brave dog
"No, no," Qi Anan immediately denied with a smile, "How could that be?"
Yu Lin nodded: "I also think it's impossible, it's okay, don't worry about him, isn't he like that every day? He is cold and taciturn, I just smiled when I saw you."
Although Yu Lin's performance was very calm, Qi An'an still felt uneasy. She walked up and hesitated for a while, instead of going directly to Jiang Lu, she turned a corner and knocked on Yu Tianyang's door first.
"Hey? An'an, why are you here?" Yu Tianyang looked up from his desk, "Wow, you actually came to deliver food to me!"
"What is for you? This is for Jiang Lu. I came here to ask you something." Qi An'an knew Yu Tianyang too well, so he was not polite at all, and put on a face of taking advantage of him when he came up.
Yu Tianyang glanced at his mouth and snorted coldly: "I knew it was for Jiang Lu, just to tease you. What's the matter?"
Qi Anan thought about it and said, "I feel that Jiang Lu is not in a good mood recently. You two have a good relationship. Has he mentioned anything to you?"
"Is he in a bad mood? I think he's okay. Isn't he always like this? There's nothing wrong with it." Yu Tianyang thought for a while when his teeth ached because of the sentence that you two have a good relationship. , I feel that anyway, the relationship between him and Jiang Lu is okay.
But this relationship is good enough to remind him, "If Jiang Lu wants to do something, why don't you just ask him?"
It was a mistake to come to him, Qi Anan sighed, Jiang Lu's character of reporting good things but not bad ones, when did he show his troubles to her
"I asked him. He was afraid that I would be worried, so he would definitely not tell me."
"I think you just think too much, really," Yu Tianyang let out a "hurt" and didn't take it to heart at all: "An'an, do you know Jiang Lu's emotions because you have studied too much? Don't be nervous, nothing has happened recently. I assure you, Jiang Lu is still as clear-headed as ever, clear-headed and decisive, no problem."
Forget it, Qi Anan thought, there is nothing more to ask from him, she should go to Jiang Lu.
Jiang Lu had told Qi An'an before that if she came over, she didn't need to knock on the door, but just pushed the door in, because sometimes he was so engrossed that he might not notice the knock on the door.
Once because of this, Qi Anan waited for him outside for nearly twenty minutes, almost breaking his heart.
But Qi Anan would still knock on the door before coming. If Jiang Lu didn't say please come in, she would just push the door in. This time, Qi Anan waited for a while, feeling that Jiang Lu probably didn't hear, so she just pushed the door.
The office is very big, and Qi An'an saw Jiang Lu at a glance. He was standing in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows and making a phone call.
It's just that the voice was very low, and a few words vaguely floated over.
"Um… "
"Yeah, no improvement..."
"Next week... next Thursday..."
There was a little rubbing sound when the door opened halfway, Jiang Lu frowned when he heard the movement, and looked back with some displeasure.