"Brian...Brian...Look at me..." My head was muddy, and it seemed that the overwhelming blood in Brian's memory was reproduced in front of me, and it was a coincidence that it was in such a narrow space.
"It's okay... Relax... Brian!..."
Whose name is this voice calling? Brian? ...who is Brian... By the way, these terrible memories and desires should belong to a boy named Brian...
That's right, the memory is Brian's, and the fantasy is also Brian's... The bloodthirsty is Brian, and I am me!
My pupils slowly focused as Chris and Ashton screamed anxiously. The scene before him became clear again.
Chris' face was full of regret, while Ashton's face was worried. Nina and Alice also gathered around, followed by several other female models. Dan was curled up on the seat not far away, Phil twisted his wrists and looked at him with the same concern as Marvin, who occasionally turned to me with apologetic eyes. The little lamb Jamie stood in the center of the two sides with a frightened face, not knowing where to go.
Chris cupped my cheeks in both hands and stared straight into my eyes, and I took a breath and reached out to push his too-close face away.
"I'm not dizzy, I just stood up too quickly and had low blood sugar for a while." I said lightly, "I just wanted to warn him, maybe I went too far."
Ashton was obviously persuaded by such a reason, and he said indignantly: "It's not your fault Brian! Dan's mouth should really be kept clean..."
The original intention was to stop a farce, but I didn't expect that in the end, I contributed to this farce and set the fire on myself. I drove Nina, who was a little curious and a little scared, and let Alice lead the group of female models back to the front compartment, and told the bus driver to move on.
Then he raised his usual harmless smile to try to appease Jamie. I don't know if it was the sixth sense of a herbivore or something. Jamie didn't dare to relax under my smile. He smiled dryly and sat beside Mike. A location not too far from me.
Seeing that I didn't want to talk about it, Chris sat back next to me even though he hesitated. Only this time it became him holding my arm firmly.
Back to the supermodel house, because of the farce on the road, everyone was not in the mood to talk after entering the house, and even though there were cameras in the house, everyone still tacitly did not mention anything. The results of the challenge appeared on the TV screen in the living room.
Out of 10, Rena, the best performer, got a 9, followed by Marvin with an 8. Me, Ashton, Alyssa, Jamie, and Alice are the middle seven. Dan, Shelley, Chris, Cornani, Phil and Nina scored six. Bianca and Mike had the lowest five points.
The bedrooms were also redistributed. Marvin and his two remaining brothers, Dan and Phil, shared a room. Mike, Jamie, and Ashton lived together without any embarrassment. The remaining one had only two beds. The room was reserved for me and Chris.
Unable to read, I put my hands behind my head after changing into the short-sleeves and sweatpants I wore to sleep, staring at the ceiling in a daze. Chris came back from washing his face and sat on his bed across from me without saying a word.
The two were silent for a while, and I could only say, "Chris, don't think so much. Go to sleep." After I said that, I closed my eyes and rolled into the bed.
It took me a while to hear a rustling sound coming from Chris's direction, and he too was tucked into the quilt.
Tomorrow is Monday, and shortly after the announcement of the results of the challenge tonight, Taylor's email notified the hard photo shooting through the living room screen, which means that the models will not be given a rest the next day after the challenge, until Wednesday after the hard photo shooting is over. There will be a day off and time for viewers to vote on the official website, but Wednesday night will be another elimination.
The schedule of Monday and Tuesday will be repeated on Thursday and Friday, the elimination will be the same on Saturday and Wednesday, and the whole day will be closed on Sunday. America's Next Top Model has a very full schedule, and I can't let myself be distracted by a farce or Chris by worrying about me.
So not talking about it is the best option.
Early the next morning, everyone gathered again, waiting for the bus to take us to the filming location. The atmosphere is a bit dull today, and it seems that most people haven't recovered from the accident on the bus yesterday.
Chris had dark circles under his eyes, but he didn't bring up the topic of yesterday. When the models gathered, we were strangers to Marvin and the others, and Jamie timidly followed behind Mike. The atmosphere of the female models was quite good, only the relationship between Alice and Rena was a bit tense.
On the bus, Marvin and the other three sat near the door because Chris and I were sitting in the back of the car. Seeing the three of them deliberately laughing and making trouble in front of them, Chris was a little upset. But because of the gesture I had been making that I didn't want to talk, I held back all the way.
Eventually the bus stopped in front of a soundstage, and when we walked in, Taylor and Jonathan were already waiting in the distance.
Taylor and the others didn't seem to get the news from yesterday's bus. She excitedly announced to the models: "Last night everyone tenaciously completed a crazy catwalk. Are you still determined today?"
Taylor then announced the theme of today's shooting, wedding photos.
In all kinds of marriages, models will cooperate with each other. Because of the male and female melee, a new technology has been introduced, which is called dynamic hard photo. In a frozen photo, the constant change of a trivial place can make the whole photo come to life.
The partner and the theme of marriage were decided by lottery. It seems that yesterday's farce frightened the god of luck. Today, Chris and I are extremely unlucky.
I got a white lottery, fetish marriage, against an old box TV. And Chris is even more amusing with Dan, and the theme is same-sex marriage. Looking at Chris' stinky face like an ice sculpture and the depression around him, I couldn't help but laugh out loud.
"You..." Chris's expression turned into an ice sculpture as soon as I laughed out loud. I think he must have been hit hard by the god of fate, and he must be in a bad mood to be laughed at by me now.
I had to pat him on the shoulder to comfort him, "It's over. If it's really uncomfortable, how about imagining his face as Alice? Is it a little more motivated?"
However, my consolation obviously didn't work as it should, and Chris patted my hand on his shoulder and turned his head, his face turning red at some point until it reached the base of his ears. I looked at him in surprise, but said nothing.
Yesterday, I had a slight personality imbalance due to Brian's memory. After self-adjustment, there will be no problems for the time being, but my mood has been a little low. When Chris's unfortunate situation came out, it made my mentality adjusted to a suitable state.
Fetish, take an unpopular dead thing as a lover, while the makeup artist is putting makeup on my face, I do a temporary psychological hypnosis on myself with my eyes closed.
Because good photos can only be taken when you really put yourself into that situation. Just like an actor, a play performed by an actor who has deceived himself is like a documentary, and the characters will be flesh and blood.
I know that actors like this are prone to mild schizophrenia, just as I remember with Brian now, and when there is overlap between the two, it's easy to confuse story with reality. That's why I don't plan to be an actor.
Because I'm afraid I'll be uncontrollably hypnotizing myself on every character in pursuit of perfection, and if I do that, plus Brian's memory stack, the effect is doubled. Maybe really crazy or not.
Similarly, shooting a TV series or movie takes several times more time than a reality TV variety show. I need to portray myself as a public figure, so that the image in the eyes of the public becomes my camouflage shell, not really throw myself in the spotlight.
Control yourself, control your mind, remember who I really am.
…
My love, its edges and icy surfaces. I knelt down on one knee in front of it, I put my cheek against my beloved, and caressed its skin lightly with one hand. The part that controlled it was held in my other hand, just pressed against the heart.
I had my eyes half closed and a contented smile at the corners of my mouth, happy because I was in complete control of my lover. I finally got married with it.
The voices of the surrounding photographers and Jonathan seemed to be separated by a membrane. Outside the membrane was reality. Inside the membrane, I was completely immersed in this world.
"Good! We got it!"
As Jonathan shouted excitedly, I slowly opened my eyes, the smile on my face subsided, I put down the remote control in my hand, raised my hand and pressed my temple.
"Is it alright?" I walked out of the spotlight wearing an old British gentleman's dress.
Jonathan walked up quickly and gave me a hug, he said excitedly, "It's amazing, it's amazing! It's more perfect than I expected, it's amazing!"
I let Jonathan hold me a little tough and go to the computer to look at the hard photos I just took. I thought that seeing my own photos in advance was not allowed, but the excited Jonathan didn't think so much. He pulled me Pointing at the words of praise that kept overflowing from his mouth.
He blew up the set curtain fabric behind me in the photo while shooting, and then set the curtains to dynamic in the finished product. As the protagonist, I knelt down in front of the old-fashioned TV in dignified clothes, showing my sincere adoration to my lover by stroking the TV screen, and my face leaning on the screen with a happy smile that just entered the marriage hall. , and the remote control tightly fastened to the heart of the chest represents the desire to control the lover.
The dynamic curtain background contrast freezes the time of me, the whole picture makes the hair stand up but can't take my eyes away. Jonathan said excitedly that I perfectly expressed what he wanted.
"Perfect..." He tugged me tightly, "It's really perfect! If conditions permit, I must take more photos for you myself!" His uncontrollable emotions made the lighting engineers around him take this photo The photographer of the photo frequently looked sideways.
Maybe he needs to control his emotions, and I put a gentle smile on my face, "Of course, it must be my great honor to have Mr. Jonathan take a picture of me."
I skillfully broke free of his hand that was tightly gripping my wrist, but instead of leaving his control immediately, I stepped forward and gave him a ceremonial hug. I patted his back lightly while hugging, paused for a few seconds, then I stepped back out of range of his arms.
Apparently he wasn't so excited anymore, he just smiled happily and instructed me to change my clothes and remove my makeup after finishing the shooting.
Jonathan is well known in the fashion circle as a gay who has come out of the closet and has a family. He and his lover are also considered to be a high-value couple in the fashion industry. However, from the creative design he gave this time, I unexpectedly found that their relationship is full of contradictions and conflicts.
Jonathan has a sincere adoration for his lover, but at the same time he has an irrepressible desire for possession and control. He is immersed in this "love", he loves the virtual muse in his mind, but not a real person. Such "love" may drive his lover crazy.
He doesn't know the reason why his lover is becoming more and more different from what he imagined, but I can infer from the subconscious in his design. Jonathan portrays his lover in his own image as a person who is too perfect to be real.
His expectations and limitations put too much pressure on his lover, who he sees only as a necessity of life, not as a companion.
Jonathan saw the image his lover made in front of him through the image I made in front of everyone. And this time the hard photo shoot, through creative design, he expressed the mess in his heart through my hard photo.
That's why he gets so excited after the shoot and repeats it over and over to perfection.