"Come in and sit down, would you like something to drink?" After the filming was over, I turned down Jonathan's suggestion to have dinner together under the pretext of being jealous of your lover, and brought Chris, who said he had nowhere to go, back to my studio in Pasadena. Small apartment for rent in the city of La Alto.
"No... No need..." Chris has been at a loss since he stepped into this small apartment. "Oh... a glass of water is fine!"
I put down my bag and looked at him and smiled, then turned around and took a glass filled with some water and handed it over. When I handed it to him, my hand holding the cup couldn't help but tremble. Because I found out that this cleaned cup was used by David before, and he cleaned it and put it there. And I never had time to deal with it.
"Thank you." Chris' ears were flushed with nervousness, so he didn't notice what was wrong with me. He deliberately turned his face away and took the cup from my hand.
"So you signed up for Survivor?" After sitting down, Chris still asked in disbelief.
On the way back, I told him what I was going to do next. But he's still a little puzzled about me going over and over and wanting to be in another reality show, after all, modeling is my profession in his opinion.
I shrugged and sat across from him, facing him at the small dining table. "That's right, didn't I withdraw from America's Next Top Model for personal reasons? So participating in Survivor is my next plan."
"Why?!" Chris asked stubbornly.
"For popularity, and for the survivor's last million-dollar prize," I replied, either true or false. "Don't worry, I'm also taking some magazine print jobs recently. But because of academic problems, I may not be able to run catwalk shows around the world like you."
After the end of America's Next Top Model Contest, although Chris failed to sign with the next model company, he also signed a not too bad agency. Recently, he has been following the resources in the hands of his agent to run the show and take photos of print magazines.
"But I heard that the survivors are very hard..." Chris said a little tangled, "Some of the contestants will lose dozens of pounds when they come back, which is too bad for your body."
"But I'd love to have an experience like that." I smiled and moved my face closer to Chris, staring up close at his icy blue iris. "The wilderness survival that cannot be experienced in a modern city is also accompanied by the social laws of intrigue. This excites me more than those extreme sports."
I gently turned my head to the froze Chris' ear, "Don't you want to try an experience you've never had before when you come back with me?..." The end sound gently disappeared into silence.
I don't know what's wrong with me, maybe it's David's thing, or maybe some other stress like starting school, meeting Neal Caffrey, and all of a sudden I want to tease Chris like that.
If it was the previous me, I would definitely not dare to go further for fear of hurting our relationship. I may try it carefully, and I will only say it clearly until I am sure of the other party's meaning.
But now, because of the influence of Brian's personality, I don't care about the other person's feelings, and my selfish and self-wanted things follow my thoughts.
I heard Chris's breathing more and more rapid and heavy, and there were drops of sweat on his temples, obviously it was not too hot. His eyes were slightly closed, and his eyelashes were trembling one by one due to tension. He slowly raised his left hand, stroked my face, and stroked my chin and side neck.
"Brian...you...have you always been so direct?..." Chris's voice became hoarse, and the hand that stroked my face to the neck gradually tightened.
I let out a low laugh, which made his nervous movements froze, I grabbed his other hand and put it on my waist, straddled him. "Maybe you're asking me, do you often do this to many other men?" My question made Chris's body stiffen and his expression became clear.
I ignored his eagerness to explain, and skillfully supported my body with the strength of my legs, not letting my weight fall entirely on him. Then accompanied by the silent dance in his mind, he twisted his body and danced in a slow and sexually intense dance.
"I!...I didn't mean that..." Chris couldn't help but raised his head and opened his eyes wide to look at me, and then he saw my move, his face instantly flushed red, and his eyes were dazed. I looked up at me, who was sitting on top of him, from the bottom up.
"No forehead, Chris." I put my hands behind his head because of the dancing, and put them on his shoulders and put my arms around his neck. "At least in these years, you are the first man who made me think of this."
The completely unexpected answer left Chris completely stunned, watching him dazedly under my guidance. This feeling of being in control of myself also made my heart panic a little less.
I am not lying. Because, Chris is indeed the first man in the past five years that has moved my mind.
His character looks so simple, but he is not completely spotless. He allows me to take full control of my dealings with him and not be controlled by others. But it won't be too easy to be manipulated and let me lose interest.
Since being reborn on Brian's body five years ago, my sexual needs have decreased a lot. Maybe it's because of the pervert that made me die and come back to life, the sexual assault before my death, or maybe it's because of Brian's sexual orientation as a heterosexual. All in all, I've gotten a little bit frigid without noticing over the years.
I don't have a need for sex, let alone finding a partner, even doing it myself rarely happens. Sometimes because of the part-time job, I don't even think about it for ten days and a half months.
But what happened to David reminded me of the accident that killed me. It was as if David's stimulation broke the balance, and I felt that I actually still had feelings of joy and fear, which made me dilute the shadow that had been deposited in my heart for nearly five years through a collapse-like cry. This also opens up the senses of the whole body.
It's like coming back to life.
Before we knew it, we moved into the bedroom. I fell on the bed with Chris in my arms. Chris got up on his knees on the bed and took off his shirt, and I helped him unbutton with a hand with a small smile on the corner of my mouth.
Chris took off his clothes and kept his eyes on my every move. He looked very much like a very hungry young wolf, the first prey he took. Anxious but cautious, all the vigilance and vigilance of the whole body stood up, and the eyes were full of desire.
He was possessed and pressed onto me, with his hands on either side of my head, looking down at me from top to bottom.
I suddenly felt unwell, I frowned and rubbed myself out from under him, leaning against the head of the bed. I smiled embarrassedly under Chris's baffled and blushing eyes.
"Sorry, Chris…" I stuck out my tongue and licked my dry lips, "I think I might still be a little uncomfortable in the lower position."
This is deceiving. In the past, although I could be regarded as a double plug, I would prefer to be at the bottom where I could wait for someone to wait for me as long as I had a good posture.
But even that accident of death, the psychological shadow it brought to me is gradually fading. But now, I still can't easily let myself be lower in sexuality. The reflexive disgust reappeared the moment Chris pressed him down just now. Maybe there is still a lot of work to be done on my own psychological counseling. But taking this opportunity, it may become a breakthrough.
Chris was at a loss for a moment, he opened his mouth and sat there for a while. "I... I'm sorry... I'm just used to..." He blushed, and then he quickly overthrew himself before he said something, "No! I... Actually, I don't mind... at the bottom..."
The last sentence made his whole body red, from the base of his ears to the bottom of his neck. For a while, I was dismissed because of that shadow, and I was picked up because I saw Chris's sweaty little wolf.
"I'm really sorry I didn't tell you beforehand," I smiled and reached out to touch his head, sweating profusely. "But if you don't mind being down there, that's even better. After all, you've only been with girls before..."
I leaned over and pressed him on the shoulder, and in turn pressed him onto the bed.
…
"Brian..." Chris's low, hoarse voice came suddenly. Interrupted my movement of firing fires all over him.
"Well, what?" my voice responded with a smile, and the foreplay with him was so pleasant.
"Do you want to know what I'm thinking now?" Chris didn't turn his head, just stared straight at the air in front of him.
Even though I was enjoying it, seeing Chris's tone seemed very serious. I still stopped and straightened up, smiled and reached out to rub the few blond hairs on his head, "Okay, what are your thoughts?"
I thought he'd be laughing about how good my flirting skills were, or deliberately criticizing me for being too stiff and too bad at fondling him, not as proficient as he was with girls. But he gave me an answer that caught me off guard.
"I think I'm really sinking..." Chris finally turned his head to look at me, looking straight into my eyes no longer averted. It seemed that the silence for so long just now was all for him to summon the courage to say this. "I like you... no, I'm in love with you. Brian."
My hand stroking his hair stopped, and I felt the smile fall off my face. I froze on the spot because of the deep disappointment and sadness in Brian's eyes.
"Chris, your hair is probably going to be re-dyed. The original color has appeared at the roots..." I deliberately talked to him, but the impulse and courage to do it to the end faded at this time. Gotta be clean.
I know that I can't take responsibility for such a serious relationship now. When I can't make a commitment to him, maybe I should not provoke him anymore. I rolled over and got off the bed, picked up the clothes on the ground and put them on my body.
But Chris is not so easy to give up. He continued stubbornly: "Are you treating me just politely? Brian, do I have no chance at all?"
This time it was finally my turn to look away first, and I felt my voice hoarse: "Chris, you don't really know me right now. All you know is the way I acted on purpose in the Next Top Model contest. Maybe I'm not really the right person for you."
"But!..." Chris wanted to say something, but I was interrupted.
"Maybe I made you fall in love with a man for the first time, but how do you know that you're not just coveting something new and exciting?" It was the first time I said something to Chris that was deliberately misleading. "You really like women, you know that."
"But I really!..." Chris shouted anxiously.
"Shh..." I put my index finger on his mouth lightly to stop him. "And for the time being... or in the next few years, I probably won't have any plans to have a boyfriend. So, I'm sorry... Chris."