Inside the cabin, I put on my bathrobe and leaned against the head of the bed, watching Dillon do push-ups on the floor between the beds. The photographer who followed us has withdrawn. Obviously, the program team really wanted to give us a good rest.
For a lot of free time after lunch, I just lay motionless in bed. Basking in the sunlight falling from the window of the wooden house facing the sea, for the first time, I felt that Fiji is really a popular tourist resort. Life on an uninhabited island on weekdays really proves that the show Survivor is not wrongly named.
"You're really strong." I weakly watched Dillon turn around to sit up after doing a hundred push-ups.
Hearing my words, Dillon stopped for a moment. Sitting with his hands on the ground behind him, he turned his face to look at me. "It's my habit to maintain a certain amount of physical exercise every day. The intensity of survivors is nothing compared to the amount of training in the army. Also, are you really going to lie in bed for an afternoon?"
"No..." I shrank back under the covers, answering his tone a little hesitantly. I know what he means because this resort has special services like artificial hot springs and relaxing massages. These are also included in the reward, and it would be a waste not to enjoy it. When we ate before, we proposed to try it together.
But this soft quilt is too comfortable and too tempting. I haven't gotten off the ground since I went back to my room and lay in bed after eating. For a while, I really wanted to sleep until tomorrow and sleep with him for more than ten hours.
"Come down and help me press down my legs, don't lie in bed all the time. You will only sleep more and more sleepy. You still have enough sleep time at night. Now that you sleep more, your muscles are too relaxed and you will suffer." Dillon suggested. .
I don't know when it started, maybe it started after the merger. Before I knew it, my relationship with Dillon became very natural. Especially when there is no stake in it, the atmosphere where we stay together doesn't feel like a social game of intrigue at all.
Because in front of him, I don't have to maintain that kind of disguised friendly attitude. Dillon knew from the beginning of my and Rhett's little moves and ambitions, so it didn't matter if I pretended or not.
But even if we get along naturally, help him press his legs... and get so close to him face to face while he does his sit-ups? …because of Dillon's suggestion, I felt like my expression froze and a train of thoughts ran through my head.
"Come on, there is someone on your feet to help you do sit-ups so that your lower back won't be tired." Dillon urged naturally.
To be honest, I still can't tell if Dillon is curved or straight. Because of my contact with him, he acted too naturally. Naturally, it made me feel a little overwhelmed. But sometimes, some conversations sound like flirting to me. After hesitating, I sat up straight and moved to the edge of the bed to get out of bed.
Kneeling down on one knee in front of him, I put my hands on his ankles. It may be because he has been exercising, his skin is very hot, and the cold stimulation of my ten fingers made his knees bent and his legs retracted.
As I got closer, I could smell the scent of the shower gel from the previous shower on him, which was evaporated by the heat after the exercise. Dillon saw me pressing the backs of his feet and laid his upper body back on the ground. I watched him raise his hands on the back of his head, his short sleeves pulled up to highlight the muscles in his arms.
The abdominal muscles can also be easily seen, as he raised his hand, the hem of the clothes pulled up, revealing the white edge of a pair of Jackwill black tight-fitting briefs. Then he started his crunches.
Fall together, fall together. He does it so fast that every time he gets up he brings a gust of wind. The wind was filled with the smell of shower gel on his body, and the sound of his breathing becoming heavier and heavier. Suddenly, I didn't know where to put my eyes, so I deliberately turned my head to look out the window. In fact, I can only see the cloudless sky from this angle.
I didn't squint, but my ears were full of the sound of his breathing while exercising. His breathing rate is regular, inhaling when lying on his back and exhaling when sitting up. Because I have to tilt the center of gravity of my whole body forward to ensure that I can suppress his movements. So when he sat up, the distance between our heads became very close.
If a man I met at a nightclub asked me to help him do a round of sit-ups by pressing his legs, I would keep my eyes on him without any hesitation. Because I know that this is the purpose of the other party, to show my charm and let the ambiguous atmosphere ignite the spark between the two.
But when the man in front of him became Dillon, a soldier. A man who does not know whether it is straight or curved, or an opponent in the same game. I became overwhelmed. If it's all just my overheartedness, wouldn't it be too embarrassing for him to see my further performance
I always feel that the ambiguous behavior I treated Chris at the beginning was retribution on myself.
I lost my mind for a while, and what I was thinking about was all about Dillon, which made me unconsciously turn my eyes back from staring out of the window. I didn't even notice it at first, I was staring at Dillon's movements together.
"Brian, are you asleep with your eyes open?" until Dillon's voice and his movements brought me back to my senses. One of his hands was still behind his head, and the other was on my hair...and rubbed it! ! !
"What are you doing!" I was startled and quickly let go of the hand that was pressing on his leg, and forcefully opened the hand that was on my head. The loudness of my voice startled myself. Then I saw Dillon chuckle and retract the hand I knocked off, rubbing the back of his hand.
"Sorry... I was just in a daze... I was taken aback by you." I added an explanation dryly. "Don't touch my head, I don't like people touching my hair."
"Ha... nevermind. It's my fault, I shouldn't have messed with your hair." Dillon let out a low chuckle from the bottom of his throat, then stood up on one hand after I released both of his ankles . "But your hair is so soft."
Brian's hair is really soft. When you first wash your hair, it's so soft that it's hard to hold it for an hour, even with styling products. When it comes to America's Next Top Model, it's often a dilemma for stylists.
But that's not the point! The point is, Brian's scalp is so sensitive! As long as I'm not paying attention, someone gently ruffles my hair. The feeling of every strand of hair being provoked and put down makes me tremble. Just now, Dillon's ten fingers were all caught in the roots of my hair, and he even made a smooth motion, which suddenly made me feel the thrill of spreading from the shoulder blades to the scalp.
I almost... The unstable vibrato had already reached my throat and was forced back by me. If I really make a fool of myself in front of Dillon because of this kind of thing, I will be embarrassed when I face him in the future.
"Have you finished exercising? Let's go to the hot spring." I changed the subject calmly.
"Okay, wait for me to take a shower to wash off the sweat and change into a bathrobe." Dillon shrugged and agreed. Then he walked around me and walked to the bathroom.
Damn...stupid...stupid...
While Dillon was showering, I sat at the end of the bed and buried my face between my hands, scolding myself over and over again in my head. There's something about Dillon that's so appealing to someone like me. That mature, calm and sexy feeling sometimes carries a sense of wild danger. So it's hard for me to ignore his presence when he's around me.
Accompanied by the sunset bubbles in the hot spring, the fatigue of the whole body is relaxed.
I sat diagonally across from Dillon, not directly across from the furthest. This will prevent the two from inadvertently communicating and looking at each other. Moreover, the photographer who has returned to work can easily capture the frontal faces of the two of us into the picture.
Because of my irritability, this time I really have no interest in dragging the topic for the broadcast effect of the show. In the camera, Dillon and I were just sitting in the hot spring looking at the sky in silence. We looked at the sky for more than ten minutes, and no one spoke. The photographer finally gave up the plan to continue shooting, put away the equipment and left.
I stretched my arms out on the edge of the pool, my whole body was paralyzed there with my head resting on my arms, watching the sunset slowly being eaten half by the sea horizon. Dillon is not a talkative person by nature, and he has no intention of speaking when there is no need to speak. There should be a very condensed atmosphere in the silence, but it unexpectedly makes people feel relaxed.
At least I feel at ease. Because I finally don't have to watch others without blinking my eyes all the time, and then use my brain to think about those slight actions and the hidden meanings of words.
All of a sudden I fell asleep in the warm water and the soft sunset light.
I don't know how long I slept, until I was woken up by Dillon and opened my eyes to see the dark night sky. The uncontaminated night sky is cloudless and the stars twinkle. Dillon was already up from the hot springs, standing by the pool where I was leaning, and slapped me awake beside me. I stared blankly at the stars in the night sky, and after a few seconds, I fixed my eyes on Dillon who woke me up.
Because the survivors did not provide razors to the contestants, the beards on the faces of the participating men all flourished during the competition. Even though I'm naturally hairless, there are fine hairs that pop up above the lip under the nose. The black stubble on Dillon's cheeks made him look a bit sloppy compared to his neatness and discipline at the start of the game.
But it's even sexier. I stared blankly into his eyes. There was a smile in his eyes, and his lips, which he liked to purse in a straight line in front of other people, also curled up in an arc.
"Hehe, Brian. I found that you really like to be in a daze when you're relaxing." I looked at his mouth and said, "Get up, your hands will wrinkle if you soak them again. Let's go get a massage, aren't you? Would you like to go?"
Then I finally came back to my senses. Turns out he was talking to me. Maybe it was because I was really relaxed just now. Even when I was caught embarrassingly by him again, I wasn't as intense as before.
"Dillon, do you have a lover?" I asked without thinking.
"..." Dillon seemed a little stunned, not understanding where my question came from. But he still replied: "No, what's the matter? You miss your girlfriend?"
girlfriend? He subconsciously asked if it was his girlfriend. Is he straight
I didn't answer his rhetorical question, just shook my head lightly and stood up from the hot spring pool. I waded up the underwater stairs, stood in front of him, took the bathrobe that was handed over, and draped it over my body. The wind was still a little cool.
"Let's go, let's go get a massage. I'm very sleepy. After enjoying this free service, let's go back to sleep." I said to him with an unadorned smile.
Well, I admit it.
This man with excess hormones is really attractive to me. So big that I can't deny myself any more. Hooking up another contestant on the Survivor reality show, though, was never in my plans. But sometimes things don't need planning. Like seeing someone
Dillon made me feel a hundred times stronger than Chris. It’s fine to say I’m selfish, but this feeling of being so unfamiliar yet so familiar that I’m relieved is something I don’t want to let go of anyway. The reason I can't tell is that maybe I can cure my frigidity because of it.
Brian's body is still in the same place... cough
I wanted to use Chris to help myself and cross the hurdle of the psychological shadow. Unexpectedly, because he took our relationship too seriously, he had to give up that plan. Because it would be cruel to him if I couldn't respond to him with the same weight of affection and still say yes to him.
If I don't have enough emotional foundation for him and get along for a long time, it will be difficult for me to express my concern for him. The things I seem to care about on weekdays are the ones that I purposefully tell myself to do in order to show it. Brian's sociopathic indifference still affects me all the time. Being with a particular person for a really long time, I can't guarantee that I can keep pretending.
When even my positive personality can't use enough emotion to overwhelm the indifference on the other side. Chris will be dealing with a person with a thoroughly antisocial personality in his dealings with me.
And being in love with a sociopath? A person who is not strong enough in his heart will have no other results than being forced to collapse by the indifference of the sociopath.
And what about Dillon? At least I know I have feelings for him. The thought of wanting to approach, to understand deeply, is the beginning of everything.
And he looks much more mature than Chris. At least I don't have to worry as much as I did with Chris. Let's not talk about feelings directly, but a man like him can also treat the relationship between the two more rationally.
So... even if he is not bent, I have to bend him! Just like shopping in a mall, when you finally come across something you like, you have to buy it! buy buy buy! Who asked him to tease me first? Whether intentional or not.
Most heterosexual men have the potential to become bisexual. As long as he's not 100% straight, then he has the possibility to bend. And the so-called 100% straight men in this world are very rare.
Since I like him, I will try my best to get his favor. Only when you get something, you know if it is suitable for you, right? Even if it doesn't fit in the end, you don't have to worry about it being too difficult to handle if you want to throw it away.
Of course, just because I want to gain his favor doesn't mean that I will hand over the easy prize because of this.
The "beautiful scenery" on the way to the race is enough for me to enjoy unscrupulously. If he can be coaxed back by me after the game, then my psychological shadow should finally be able to find the key to solve.