Song Qing wrote a short preface to this book:
I am Song Que, a psychopath caused by functional defects in the fronto-orbital cortex and several other places in the brain. If you want to hear about theories about the brain and psychopaths, I could rattle off a lot of terms that are unfamiliar to you, but I guess you don't want to read this. If anyone is really interested, you can pay attention to my related research, which is much more academic.
This book is not written to excuse psychopaths. In fact, psychopaths are very dangerous and difficult to change. Half of the people who dream of saving these psychopaths who don't understand love are fools, and the other half are probably saints.
I was lucky enough to meet a saint.
I didn't know from birth that I was a psychopath. When a person has never experienced the mentality that ordinary people should have, it is difficult for him to know that he is actually special. Before I accidentally took a positron image of my brain, I didn't know that I had the same brain pattern as a perverted murderer. The brain function in areas related to emotions was damaged, and it seemed to make up for it, while the brain areas related to thinking were even worse. developed. In other words, I am more ruthless and smarter than the average person. Sounds more like a great perverted murderer in reserve.
In this case, from childhood to adulthood, I have always been a good child in the eyes of my teacher in my hometown with both good character and academic performance, and I am also very popular. Although I have no concept of a best friend, many people call me their best friend. The boys love playing sports with me and yes, I am very motor-savvy. Girls like me, they like my athleticism, my academic IQ, and of course, they may also like my looks, but that has nothing to do with my damn brain.
It was an accident to know that I have the brain of a serial murderer. My father is a senior detective, and his old partner is an expert in criminal psychology and is also involved in scientific research on crime and the brain. They both found out about it when they came to the hospital to see me, and it spread to the school.
For a long time, my understanding of myself was completely overturned. Before that, it had never occurred to me that I might be a bad person—I had received a few bad reviews.
But when I learned about this, the world spun before my eyes, and then turned into something else.
When I realize that I am irritable and irritable, I become exponentially more irritable and irritable. I got into a fight at school with a boy who talked about my damn brain, and I got into a really bad fight, and then my dad took me home.
It is a normal thing for teenage boys to fight, but because of my abnormality, this incident was not ordinary in the eyes of my dad, and it started a decades-long stalemate between my dad and me. He was very afraid that I would turn into a perverted murderer, and he supervised me very strictly. My mother almost divorced him because of this.
In my case, my father and mother are two extremes. My father prepares for the worst and tries his best to avoid the choice that will easily lead me to become a murderer at every step. My mother, on the contrary, always believes that I am a gentle and kind child. , wishing you could give me complete freedom.
To be honest, my father's excessive distrust and my mother's excessive trust both made me miserable, but their refusal to give up made me grit my teeth and persevere.
Because this incident spread in school, I went abroad in my senior year of high school. During the time I was abroad, the diagnosis and treatment of a psychiatrist made my situation much more stable. I began to consciously learn how to regulate myself to avoid being occasionally occupied by violent impulses and doing terrible things.
My cousin is seven years younger than me, and their family is abroad. The closeness from an innocent and kind-hearted child finally touched my hard-hearted heart.
Does the company of loved ones have any effect on a psychopath? The answer is yes. But this effect is so small that only the patient himself can feel it. But if this is a patient who really wants to become a normal person, this small change is hope and dawn.
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Of course, I'm not suggesting that men and women have a love interest in psychopaths. It’s not that I despise the greatness of love, but it’s just that things in the world are often like this. It’s not the lover who can be regarded as a saint, but the parents. Of course there are exceptions, but if one out of ten people is a successful exception, nine of them will end in tragedy.
Parents have a natural advantage in helping psychopaths. Children's brains are not fully developed during childhood, and psychopaths are not full-blown psychopaths. Although the mechanism of action is not completely clear, a happy childhood has a positive effect on psychopaths. The effect of the operator is positive. like me. At least until now, I have a clear conscience. I have never lost control in the pleasure of killing, and I have never harmed any innocent person.
But as long as I am alive, I dare not say that I will be a good person in this life. In fact, I often have the urge to kill, but I only tolerate it through self-regulation and self-control. Considering that I should have ended this special life by the time everyone reads this book, I hope everyone will not be too scared after reading this confession. This pervert is dead and he will not hurt anyone anymore.
I really want to believe that I can do my best in self-control without making mistakes, but Murphy's Law tells us from a certain perspective that wherever there are people, there may be mistakes. I dare not say this for sure. Only the day I die will I know whether I am a good person in this life. This is a book that is destined to be endless. I hope I can ask my old partner Du Feng to finish it for me and judge me by the way - has Song Que ever been a good guy in his life
Oh, you probably don’t know who Du Feng is yet, please allow me to introduce him to you later.
I studied for a degree in psychology abroad, and during this period I met my good friend Lance White, who is an expert in the field of brain science and gave me a lot of help in my subsequent research.
After returning to China, I opened a psychological clinic to help people who were as sick as me. By chance, I became a consultant at the police station, where my old partner Du Feng was the detective. Although I often ridiculed his ability during the years we worked together, among the colleagues I have met, he is one of the few who can always maintain his original intention and has a great influence on me.
In fact, I am not a consultant in the ordinary sense. At least other consultants will not rush to the front with a gun to fight the prisoners. Of course, I did this not because the police department was exploiting me, but because of my dark personal hobbies.
Because of my brain, I often crave violence. This is a desire that cannot be indulged, but blind patience will only make this desire intensify. I need appropriate venting, and those prisoners who have crossed the line are my prey. . In this way, it seems that I am indeed a serial murderer, but each of my victims is a perverted murderer. But I can swear, swear to anyone, that I have never taken the life of any murderer without law. The prisoners who died under my gun always escaped arrest violently, wantonly hurting my vulnerable colleagues, and sometimes left them with an unforgettable shadow. It is my right under the law to shoot them before they harm more people.
If I have to say what made me different from ordinary police officers, it was probably my mentality. Killing those prisoners did not bring me any sense of guilt. Psychopaths will not feel guilty for hurting others. I don't know if I'm a pure psychopath, because I've never hurt an innocent person, but killing those criminals certainly didn't make me feel guilty.
When I work as a consultant in the police station, I don't pick any cases. I just solve whatever I can find. But those more complicated cases usually fall into my hands in the end, and those cases are most likely committed by some psychopaths. Ironically, this turned into a battle of wits between two psychopaths, but I was quite addicted to such a game. It was one of the ways to satisfy my need for dangerous stimulation.
From that moment on, I knew that it would be difficult for me to die. Of course, if I did not die while fighting the prisoner, but died unexpectedly, such as accidentally falling and dying directly, I hope the reviewer can help me delete this paragraph, which is a bit embarrassing.
There are more psychopaths than you think, but they vary in degree. By the way, psychopaths are often somewhat narcissistic, and I am no exception. For example, I think that among the psychopaths I have seen, I'm the smartest one.
I have been fooled and tricked, but in the end, they were either caught and brought to justice, or executed on the spot, and I was the superior one. Please allow me to be proud of this.
But these guys are really good at demagoguery. Because of my brain disease, it is not easy for me to be a good person. In addition, during the investigation process, there are always perverts trying to make me go to hell with them. This job is really hard.
In fact, I am also good at confusing people, but I don't like doing this. Rather than using subtle language to compliment others and lead people into my own rhythm without any trace, I prefer to evaluate others as I please and boldly vent my dissatisfaction and disappointment. Obviously the latter is very hateful, even Du Feng often can't stand my meanness, but this shortcoming seems to make me more like an ordinary person. After so many years of working together, no one has truly suspected that I am a pervert. My perceptive boss noticed that I was a dangerous person at the beginning, but then she was angered so many times that her sanity seemed to be driven away, and she never doubted it again. But I believe that if one day I make a mistake and go down the road of no return, she will definitely be able to detect it.
It is always hard to restrain yourself with perseverance alone. I have been trying to seek the possibility of curing the disease by changing the direction of the brain, but it turns out that this is not a suitable direction. So I came up with another idea. This is a more academic thing and I won’t go into details here. Those who are interested can read my scientific research results.
Having said that, my messy life has been summarized. I hope my friends will not be too disappointed when they see that it is difficult for psychopaths to feel love. Maybe my friendship with you cannot reach the level that ordinary people define friendship, but you are really high in my heart. characters.
Especially you, Du Feng. I sincerely hope that after reading this book, you can help me wrap up the last case. My book really needs an ending, you know I'm a bit OCD.
Song Que's preface ends here, followed by more detailed life memories.
Du Feng lived up to his expectations and gave his last case an extremely abrupt ending:
On October 25, 2039, Song Que died while hunting down the serial murderer Qin Qiusheng. He was 45 years old.
He left as a good man.
Everything came to an abrupt end.