[75]
In the office, Lu Fengshen was so angry that he raised his hand again.
But towards his own nephew, his heart softened, and the second slap never fell.
He knew that if one slap couldn't wake Lu Ming, then no amount of slaps would be in vain. Lu Ming is a patient, and it doesn't make much sense to be serious with a patient.
Lu Fengshen understood, but didn't want to admit it.
With red eyes, he tried his best to calm down his emotions, and put away his hands: "Now there is such a good opportunity, you should help Chi Qiu. In your current situation, helping him is also helping yourself. Besides, he is full of It's all you, can't you see?"
Lu Ming couldn't answer this question, so he simply chose to remain silent.
"Lu Ming, answer me." Lu Fengshen's palm was still numb. The first time he hit Lu Ming, it was like being on a suspension bridge, with lingering fear.
Looking at the extremely indifferent Lu Ming, Lu Fengshen couldn't believe it. He waited for a long time, but still couldn't wait for Lu Ming to open his mouth to promise.
In the silence, it was Lu Fengshen who took the first step to admit defeat: "You have become so unreasonable. In fact, all of us are responsible. But your grandmother and I have told you before that the person who needs to take this responsibility, whether it is Anyone is fine, but it shouldn't be Chi Qiu."
He wanted to stop Lu Ming's wrong behavior and correct Lu Ming's twisted heart in time. It's a pity that no matter how hard you try, it will be of no avail in Lu Ming's absurd revenge plan.
At the moment, Lu Fengshen has exhausted his good and bad words, and can only reprimand him sadly, longing to awaken a trace of his conscience: "You use Chi Qiu, but you can't love him, and you can't even think about him sincerely, and make a right choice for him. Lu Ming, what kind of person do you think you are? You once hated Lu Rongtian for forcing your mother to death, but now, what is the difference between you and Lu Rongtian?"
"Just like he used your mother back then, you're doing the same thing."
Lu Ming raised his head slowly, the slap marks on his face were obvious. He stood motionless in front of Lu Fengshen, without any superfluous expression. Now, even rubbish like Lu Rongtian can't arouse Lu Ming's emotions.
Silence is a sharp dagger, unsheathed.
Seeing this, Lu Fengshen finally shook his head, sneered, and said disappointedly: "I thought you would get better, but you didn't, right?"
Lu Ming wanted to say: No.
If it was before, he really wouldn't want to give Chi Qiuzhi eyes. But now, if Chi Qiu really couldn't see, he would take Chi Qiu abroad for treatment. Even if he had to accept Xia Zhiyan's kindness, he would not give up this opportunity.
Lu Ming had indeed changed, but the change was minimal from the inside out. How can others know the heart that even Lu Ming himself can't see clearly
At this moment, Lu Ming only knew that he couldn't open his mouth, and he said too many mistakes. His silence became the greatest protection for a secret.
He didn't feel wronged, after all, he was the one who did something wrong.
Lu Ming didn't remember Chi Qiu from the very beginning, he decided to pursue Chi Qiu and marry Chi Qiu because of the property of the Lu family and revenge for those who had hurt Lu You.
On this point, Lu Ming undoubtedly deceived Chi Qiu.
Even if he is 100% loyal to this marriage, it cannot erase the fact that he lied. What's more, he knew that Chi Qiu loved him, but he couldn't return the corresponding affection.
Therefore, it was only natural that Lu Fengshen's slap was slapped for Chi Qiu. He looked at Lu Fengshen who was so angry and disheartened in front of him, he safely used "selfishness" to cover up all his irrationality.
After Lu Fengshen slapped Lu Ming, he gradually calmed down. He squeezed his hand, very regretful.
In fact, Lu Fengshen loves Lu Ming more than anyone else, and more than anyone else hopes that Lu Ming can return to normal.
Lu Ming has lived with him abroad since he was 17 years old. Lu Fengshen was the one who witnessed Lu Ming's most difficult time. He would never forget that not long after Lu Yougang passed away, Lu Ming locked himself in the attic without light for two full days without eating or drinking.
If he hadn't pried open the door, went in and carried out the unconscious Lu Ming, Lu Ming might have died.
Lu Ming once lost the desire to live.
At that time, Lu Ming's memory had not been completely lost. He was often in a trance, shouting into the air: "Mom."
I also often get lost in nightmares, crying and begging for mercy and apologizing, and others can't wake up. He was trapped by Lu You in a bloody dream, and Lu You tied his neck tightly with a rope, unable to escape.
Lu Fengshen saw that he was in pain all day long, so he tried to persuade Lu Ming: "There is no mother who does not love her child, so you have to come out by yourself."
But as soon as he finished speaking, Lu Fengshen knew that he was wrong.
Lu Ming suddenly cried like a child, grabbed his hair and pressed his head against the wall, breathing in pain: "Mom, Mom, I won't go back to him, I really won't go to him! Don't die, don't die!" Die. We finally decided to live again... I was wrong, mom, I was wrong, I didn't go to him, I shouldn't say go to him... "
Who this "he" was, Lu Fengshen did not know.
He asked Lu Ming several times when he was awake, but Lu Ming kept silent.
In order to stop him from torturing himself, Lu Fengshen pressed Lu Ming's shoulder, but Lu Ming pushed him away in extreme horror. Lu Ming's excessive reaction undoubtedly told everyone that things were far from simple as imagined.
Lu Fengshen looked at Lu Ming who was still wearing long sleeves even in summer, and felt more and more something was wrong. When Lu Ming fell asleep at night, he took off Lu Ming's shirt. Only then did he realize that Lu Ming's body was covered with large and small bruises and scars, none of which had faded and healed.
Lu Fengshen's movements froze in half, and the scene in front of him seemed like a catastrophe in his perception. He knew without thinking that these scars were all left by Lu You.
This child must have been tortured and ill long ago. Lu You's death was the last straw that broke the camel's back.
Lu Ming's situation had a great impact on his grandparents. The daughter passed away, and the only grandson suffered from mental problems due to years of abuse.
For this reason, the old couple cried all day long and were very sad.
As the only normal young man in his family, Lu Fengshen took on the responsibility of accompanying Lu Ming to seek medical treatment. He asked Lu Ming to suspend school for one year, and then he took Lu Ming to many hospitals, changed many doctors, and even took a lot of medicine.
Lu Ming was like a puppet without a soul, led by Lu Fengshen to run around.
Occasionally, Lu Ming would give up his identity as a "puppet" when he saw a small garden by the roadside. He would walk into the garden and find a bench to sit on. In a moment of tranquility, he likes to look up at the mottled shadows of the leaves, and follow the traces of the sun when it falls.
Lu Ming's behavior seemed to be carefully missing someone.
Therefore, he is usually very quiet, so quiet that he doesn't seem to be breathing, as if he is afraid of disturbing anyone.
And Lu Ming was always so moody.
Sometimes silent, sometimes pleading heartbreakingly for Lu You's phantom.
Lu Ming blamed Lu You's death on himself. His insomnia is very serious. After careful calculation, he has not been able to sleep well for a long time.
Today, he sat on a bench in the park, as if he had a brief relaxation, he said to himself, or confessed to Lu Fengshen: "Mom said, you want to live with me again. I lost her , tell her that I must go back to China, and I must go to him... "
Lu Fengshen asked again: "Who is he?"
"I want to get rid of her just like them." Lu Ming's eyes were blank, and he didn't answer Lu Fengshen's intention, "Mom didn't do anything wrong, but she was always being abandoned. In the end, even I had to abandon her. "
Lu Fengshen stretched out his hand, wanting to touch his head, but fearing to frighten Lu Ming, he withdrew his hand in distress.
Lu Ming's eyes fell on the ground, on an ant, and said softly, "That's why she punished me."
It was his determination to find Chi Qiu that completely killed Lu You. Obviously everything is going in a good direction, why, why is it still like this
He was in so much pain, so painful that he missed Chi Qiu and hated himself at the same time.
He could always think of the scene where Lu You was cut open and hung bloody on the wall. The whole wall was bloody, scarlet, and they kept appearing in his dreams.
The murderer was quickly arrested, a pervert who had just been released from prison. He said that it was Lu You who opened the door on his own initiative, and it was Lu You who said she wanted to die.
If Lu You's life is a broken rose, then she hopes that in the form of blooming, it will remain in the hearts of others forever and never be abandoned again.
So the killer fulfilled her.
Lu You also said softly to Lu Ming: "If you dare to go back and look for him, I will die for you. Xiao Ming, if I die, you will kill me."
The sunset came very early that day, and Lu Ming never said a word again.
Seeing Lu Ming's dazed look, Lu Fengshen couldn't comfort him. Lu Fengshen is not a doctor, he dare not speak nonsense to provoke Lu Ming.
Suddenly, an ice cream truck drove by the side of the road, playing music, and stopped at the entrance of the garden. A lot of children gathered around happily, took out the banknotes in their hands to exchange for ice cream, and the happy voice broke the dull bitterness.
Lu Ming's gaze actually followed it.
Lu Fengshen caught this point, and quickly asked him if he wanted to eat ice cream: "When you were young, you loved to eat that sweet ice cream, can I buy it for you?" Seeing that Lu Ming rarely nodded, he quickly got up and said urgently, "I'm here Wait for me, don't wander around!"
Lu Fengshen trotted over.
In the end, he happily bought the ice cream, and when he turned around, Lu Ming had climbed over the fence and jumped directly into the lake in the garden. The lake was very deep, and when he jumped into it, there was quite a splash.
Surrounded by people, the swans on the lake swam away screaming.
Lu Ming closed his eyes, feeling the cold lake water rushing into his ears and nose, wrapping him lingeringly, the pain of suffocation was silent.
The color of the bottom of the lake is deep, like a silent purgatory. His heart was full of fear, but he yearned for relief.
But it was a failed suicide, and Lu Ming was quickly rescued by enthusiastic passers-by.
When he spit out the first sip of water, the scenery in the world was clear... He is still alive
Lu Fengshen hit him angrily and angrily: "What are you doing?!"
This roar was like thunder, and Lu Ming's mind was sobered up a lot. Lu Ming began to cry, sobbed and trembled, and vomited a second saliva.
Soon, he passed out again, and when he woke up, he was already on the hospital bed.
Surrounded by a dull white light, floating in the sky like cotton wool, it is so clean that it is not stained with a trace of secular filth, and even the dust falls to the ground.
That is to say, from this moment, the pain in Lu Ming's heart disappeared.
He died again and again, this time he really "died". He sealed all fear, self-blame, longing, and any high emotions in the depths of his memory, closed the door, and locked it.
He became another Lu Ming and got better in another sense.
Now, the only thing left on the 27-year-old Lu Ming is the tip of a knife that has accumulated over the years, stabbing Lu Fengshen.
It stabbed Chi Qiu's heart even more.
Chi Qiu outside the door suddenly lost his footing and leaned against the wall.
In order not to disturb the two people in the office, with a pale face, he picked up his guiding stick and rushed to the waiting room far away from the office. No sound from Lu Ming's office can be heard here, nor will it be spotted by passers-by.
Chi Qiu hugged the insulation box in his hand, gritted his teeth, and his legs were weak. He sat down slumped and lowered his head unknowingly. He saw that his hands were shaking, and the insulation box fell to the ground uncontrollably, making a dull sound.
"Dong Long" - just like the sound of Chi Qiu's heart rolling on the ground, it was covered with dust in an instant, and no one wanted to pick it up.
He looked at the insulation box on the ground, his eyes were hot, and his vision had already been blurred by tears.
Every word Lu Fengshen reprimanded Lu Ming echoed clearly in his ears, and the lingering sound lingered for a long time. If possible, how much Chi Qiu hopes, this is just a ridiculous nightmare: when he wakes up, he feels wronged and complains, but Lu Ming still loves him unswervingly.