[84]
Chi Qiu's feet were hanging in the air on the cliff, and this time he finally stepped on the ground. His heart plummeted until there was a moment when there was not even a slag left.
He couldn't help clenching his back molars, and was about to explode, but it was Lu Ming's words that blocked his anger.
"It's my fault for lying to you. I know it's useless for me to say anything now. I don't want you to leave. This is my most sincere thought at the moment. I must tell you." Lu Ming's Adam's apple moved up and down, and he said jerkyly, "Today I'm here, no matter what request you make, I have no objection. It's just a few words, I thought about it all night, and I still want to tell you."
Whether it's a divorce or not, Lu Ming will agree.
Because this is something that can't be changed, Chi Qiu already knows all the truth, even if he doesn't want to divorce or waste all his efforts, it's all in vain.
Lu Ming, who has not slept all night, is different from ordinary people. His thoughts are still clear, and he rationally analyzes various inevitable elements.
"My mother, Lu You, was indirectly forced to death by Lu Rongtian and Zhen Zhen. In order to retaliate against them, I investigated you. After seeing the news that you have been looking for me, I immediately arranged for Jin Chengjun's affairs and returned home quickly The reason is to be able to marry you smoothly and take away the property they care most about."
In just a few words, it was the most open talk between Lu Ming and Chi Qiu since they got married.
"I'm sorry about the matter between Chi Xia and Jin Chengjun. I didn't intend to hurt Chi Xia. According to the information I got at the beginning, she and Jin Chengjun were in love. But due to family reasons, Jin Chengjun didn't have the courage to confess, and Chi Xia has been waiting for him. I thought my 'matchmaking' would be a happy ending in the end, but I didn't expect that it would be self-defeating and cause so much trouble to Chi Xia and you."
There was sand in Lu Ming's throat, which made Chi Qiu's ears hurt.
Sometimes the truth is like a sharp needle.
Lu Ming's lips trembled: "Chi Qiu... Actually, I never thought about how to treat you badly. I am very grateful to you for marrying me. So I swear, I will treat you well and be loyal to you for the rest of my life. I thought There is nothing wrong with that, it was my stubbornness that hurt you."
It's like exchanging terms, exchanging "one" for "one".
But what Lu Ming doesn't understand is that in a marriage, mutual loyalty is the foundation, and only love can last long.
He doesn't have this kind of feeling, so naturally he doesn't understand these things, everything becomes an equivalent exchange without love in his eyes.
Listening to his words, Chi Qiu looked into his eyes with disappointment, his lips and teeth tightened. He clasped his hands together vigorously, and his manicured nails pinched bruise marks on his skin.
Seeing this, Lu Ming stretched out his hand to cover Chi Qiu's hand, trying to stop Chi Qiu from abusing himself.
Chi Qiu shook off his hand and smiled miserably: "So?"
"It's better for others to tell me about these things than for me." Lu Ming spoke out, voluntarily admitting all his mistakes, and he sincerely apologized to Chi Qiu.
If it was for the sake of his premeditation, at this moment, he should try his best to keep Chi Qiu. It's just that when he looked at Chi Qiu's pale face, it was hard for him to utter a lie.
Reason told him, go to remedy it, go to save it.
But facing Chi Qiu's broken heart, Lu Ming couldn't continue to be selfish after all.
Chi Qiu still didn't understand his intention: "Is there any use for you to tell me this now?"
"Chi Qiu, I know you can't forgive me, and I won't ask for your forgiveness. I was wrong about this, but you asked me last night if I love you..."
Chi Qiu held his breath.
Lu Ming answered him: "I told you at the time that I don't know what it's like to love someone. This is the truth, not perfunctory. Uncle should have mentioned my situation to you. But I thought about it last night, if What you want to ask is whether I have ever loved you, and I may still not be able to answer you."
"Because I have no past memories about you." Lu Ming said truthfully, "Since my mother passed away, I have lost part of my memories. Among them, the time with you."
He remembered everything, only most of Lu You's things and the former Chi Qiu were locked away by him.
Lu Ming didn't know how hurtful his frankness was to Chi Qiu's ears.
—I didn’t forget anything, but I forgot him alone.
Chi Qiu lowered his eyes numbly, wondering how long he would be subjected to such torture? He didn't want to listen to Lu Ming's repeated apologies. These were the sharpest words in his ears, and they were of no use except to hurt him.
"You forgot about me?"
"yes."
"Why?" Chi Qiu found that what he asked the most was why, and he still couldn't understand Lu Ming.
Lu Ming shook hands, his whole body was in constant pain: "I don't know, I can't remember what I went through back then."
However, Chi Qiu knew what he had gone through. Lu Fengshen once said that when Lu Ming was most ill, he sealed up all the painful memories that made him suffer. As a result, he suffered from emotional apathy. Because only in this way can his feelings be stable and not be dragged down.
But Chi Qiu never thought that the one who was sealed up was actually himself.
Lu Ming's arrival today did not ease Chi Qiu's pain, but instead made it self-defeating and added fuel to the fire. Lu Ming has indeed lost his position, and no longer proceeds from his own advantage.
Chi Qiu didn't want to object to anything, so he showed embarrassment: "Stop talking about it."
Lu Ming closed his mouth, and stopped abruptly in the middle of his speech. He quietly stood by Chi Qiu's side, with no intention of leaving.
Chi Qiu couldn't help asking him, "What are you going to do?"
Lu Ming looked at him, and took out the wedding ring box that was always in his pocket: "Chi Qiu, I don't want to divorce you."
"I don't do it because of property."
Chi Qiu frowned in confusion.
"Chi Qiu, can you...give me another chance." Lu Ming was a little anxious at the end, he stammered, "I don't have any memories of the past, if you were by my side, I might be able to remember. When the time comes, I, my answer will be the correct answer."
Chi Qiu was speechless.
Lu Ming's heart was clamoring, he couldn't stand a home lost by Chi Qiu, he whispered, as if begging: "Can you help me?"
But why
Chi Qiu still said: "Why?"
Lu Ming raised his eyes, his eyes were reddish, it was the first time Chi Qiu saw him sad like this, it seemed that his true feelings were revealed, and it seemed that the thousand-year-old iron tree had blossomed.
Chi Qiu closed his eyes and rejected the wedding ring brought by Lu Ming: "Don't you think this is very contradictory? You don't love me, and you don't want property, so why did you marry me?"
Just two sentences—"I don't want a divorce" and "Help me"
This reason is too ridiculous, and there is no way to convince Chi Qiu.
His heart was so cold, but he still had to face the scar over and over again: "Lu Ming, I hope you understand. Our relationship cannot be changed by your light apology. I sympathize with what happened to you, but I didn't Way to stay with you."
Lu Ming's heart felt like a knife was twisted. From yesterday to today, his heart miraculously recovered from the pain.
Chi Qiu lowered his voice: "You said you have no memory, and you hoped that I could help you, just for the answer of whether you love it or not. But why should I do this?"
"Chi Qiu..."
"The memory is yours, and if you really want to get it back, you don't need anyone's help at all."
At this point, nothing is important to Chi Qiu.
"Maybe it's because it's not important to you that you forget it."
That being the case, there is no need for Lu Ming to look for it again.
And that answer, Chi Qiu doesn't want it anymore, it's not important anymore.
Sometimes something arrives too late and it expires on the way.
In Chi Qiu's eyes, the former love has turned to ashes, floating all over the window sill. It is full of choking dust, and it is an expired dream of his youth.
"Lu Ming, actually, actually, I can accept the fact that you don't love me anymore. Everyone has been ignorant and young. I don't regret meeting you, but I regret trusting you ten years later."
Chi Qiu tried his best and gave the order to evict the guest: "Let's get a divorce."
Lu Ming's heart swelled with sadness, and the long-lost pain beat him to death. The frequent discomfort squeezed his stagnant thoughts, fell from a high altitude, and broke again and again.
He said the wrong thing again.
It's not right to lie, it's still not right to tell the truth.
Chi Qiu didn't seem to love him that much anymore, it was he who destroyed this love step by step in the wrong way.
Lu Ming was clearly aware of this, and accepted the reality at a loss: "...OK."
He knew that Chi Qiu didn't want to pay any attention to him anymore, so he stood up slumpedly and took a step outside. Chi Qiu suddenly stopped him, and he hurriedly stopped, but he heard Chi Qiu say this—
"I've thought about what you did to Chi Xia. As you said, you just helped Jin Chengjun summon up the courage to pursue her. Since they had a crush on each other from the beginning, the relationship ended without a problem. Maybe it's not your fault."
Chi Qiu pursed his lips: "So I won't tell this matter, let alone ruin your place in the Lu family. It's hard for you, I know..."
This was also Chi Qiu's last tolerance for Lu Ming.
Lu Ming squeezed his hand tightly, his palm was hot. His breathing was heavy, and he vomited silent pain again and again.
Chi Qiu lowered his head and refused to look at his expression: "In exchange... Lu Ming, on Grandpa's side, I hope you will come forward alone and tell him about our divorce. You can think of the reason yourself, and talk about our relationship." It doesn't matter if it breaks up, or blame me for the reason. I don't want anything, you can draw up the agreement, I just want to divorce as soon as possible."
The implication is that Chi Qiu doesn't want to get in touch with anyone in the Lu family anymore, and Chi Qiu doesn't want to be tied to him for a second.
Ji Yanchen, who had been shopping downstairs for a while, waited outside the door early. He knew that eavesdropping was not good, but he was really worried about Chi Qiu. He was afraid that Chi Qiu and Lu Ming would become like yesterday again when they were together.
He squatted immorally at the door of the ward, with his ear pressed against the door panel, vaguely listening to the conversation between the two. From time to time, he would clench his fists.
He clicked his tongue, Lu Ming is a person who can't even apologize. To be able to propose successfully at the beginning was really a piece of shit luck for him!
The little nurse just passed by again, she stared at Ji Yanchen strangely, her posture seemed to regard Ji Yanchen as a suspicious person. Ji Yanchen mistakenly thought that the little nurse was going to call the security again, so he hurriedly got up, obediently stood aside, leaning against the wall, and gave the little nurse a peaceful smile.
The little nurse muttered: "It's weird..." She didn't care too much.
As soon as the little nurse left, Ji Yanchen continued to listen to the corner with his ear.
Lu Ming's voice was thick and deep, echoing in the limited space: "Grandpa has been in poor health recently, I'm afraid he can't take this blow. I don't intend to delay your time, but I hope you can give me some time."
No matter what, Mr. Lu is Lu Ming's grandfather after all.
It was Lu Rongtian and Zhen Zhen who made the mistake. Even if Mr. Lu favored Lu Yinliang, Lu Ming never really hated him. At the beginning, old man Lu deliberately wanted to take Lu Ming with him to raise him, but Lu Ming himself was reluctant to part with Lu You, so he rejected him straight away.
Thinking of Mr. Lu's protection of him, Chi Qiu thought for a while and replied, "Okay."
After speaking, within a minute, Lu Ming slowly opened the door of the ward.
Ji Yanchen cleared his throat, stood against the wall with a guilty conscience, and pretended to ask: "Is it finished?"
Lu Ming didn't look at him, he was a little unsteady, he settled down, and then left the hospital directly.
Ji Yanchen couldn't help being speechless: "What an ugly face..." As a result, as soon as he entered the ward, Chi Qiu's expression became even uglier.
The author has something to say:
Forecast: Lu Ming will be abused tomorrow