The author has something to say: Lu Ming will remember everything tomorrow!
[88]
A letter that Lu Ming opened casually, the handwriting was smeared with ink, as if tears had hit it. Now, it is not so much a letter as a thin diary.
"Chi Qiu:
Zhan Xinjia.
It has been a month since I came here, the spring here is shorter than in China, and the weather is a bit sultry.
And my mother's condition is getting worse and worse, and she often threatens me with suicide. She doesn't seem to like you very much. But it doesn't matter, she must be too lonely and needs someone to accompany her. When I accompany her and make her happy and healthy, I can come back to you without any worries.
Hope you will forgive my delay.
Chi Qiu, when I wrote this letter, it was already night. I'm hiding under the covers, writing to you with a flashlight, isn't it a little romantic? Haha, actually I don’t want this kind of romance at all, I would rather sit by your side and chat with you, you will surely comfort me.
By the way, it's very windy tonight.
I remembered that when I went to the hospital to get medicine during the day, several children passed by me, holding kites. I wonder if the summer wind can also fly with kites
I'm curious.
After returning home, let's go to fly a kite together.
I'm sorry, my mobile phone and computer were broken by my mother, so I can't contact you all the time. I am also sorry that this is a letter that cannot be sent to you.
You probably never know that I bother you in letters every day, right
I don't want you to know that I have so many troubles, you are the most beautiful sun in spring, I hope happiness will always belong to you.
But I often miss you very much, miss you very much.
Today, I really want you to give me a hug.
If only I were that kite, I would cut its string and fly to you immediately without buying a ticket or waiting.
Lu Ming who wants to become a kite
May 17, 20xx"
The next one was opened by Lu Ming casually.
"Chi Qiu:
Zhan Xinjia.
I have been here for a month and a half.
I wasn't doing well, the bruises on my back kept coming back and I was in constant pain. My mother hit me all the time and I couldn't fight back. I still have to keep an eye on her, not letting her hurt herself.
Tired, but she's sick and I have to understand her.
Chi Qiu, it's okay, don't feel sorry for me, life has to experience growth.
Today, I want to tell you something happy.
I saw a stray dog on the road, and I thought it looked like you when it looked at me, so I took it home. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you're a puppy. It's because its eyes are beautiful, and I immediately thought of you.
I am looking forward to the day when I return to China. If I can bring the puppy back then, let’s raise it together. If you can't bring it back, you can only give it to a kind neighbor...
I named it 'Guigui'. Didn't you say you like sweet-scented osmanthus? In the future, we will find a house with a yard to live in. I will plant a big sweet-scented osmanthus tree for you, and let Guigui accompany you to enjoy the flowers.
I really hope that your eyes will be healed by then, so you can see how handsome I am, haha. I think I should fit your type very well. I swear, you'll love me as much as I love you.
However, if you don't like it, just take a few more glances and you will be fine.
People should pay attention to the beauty of the soul.
Okay, let's not talk anymore, Gui Gui is screaming at the door, I'll go and see this little guy.
Good night.
And one more thing.
I dreamed about you last night, and in my dream, I kissed your forehead.
I'm sorry, I promised to wait until you were 18 before kissing... You should grow up quickly!
Missing you Lu Ming with Gui Gui
July 2, 20xx"
The third letter, unexpectedly, the letter Lu Ming got was very close to the last one.
"Chi Qiu:
Zhan Xinjia.
Gui Gui disappeared. I searched for a long time but couldn't find it.
My mother lost it, she hates puppies. I regret bringing Guigui home. If someone else adopts it, it must be very happy. Sometimes I wonder if I'm always doing the wrong thing.
I hope Guigui can meet a good master, not my kind.
Just now, my mother and I had a quarrel, and I really don't know how to take care of her. I wanted to contact Grandpa and the others, but she was hysterical, which scared me. I couldn't sleep every night, and I didn't dare to lock the door. I was afraid that she would die suddenly, and I was afraid that she would appear by my bed in the middle of the night.
Sometimes I wish she wasn't my mother, but I can't.
I am so tired.
You can hug me, even in a dream.
miss you Lu Ming
August 9, 20xx"
The fourth letter is the letter on September 9th.
"Chi Qiu:
Zhan Xinjia.
Guigui found it, and I gave it to a kind neighbor. They welcome this little guy as a new addition to the family, I'm sad to miss him but hope he forgets me.
Today, I had a showdown with her, and I said that I will definitely go back to you. But she refused, she said that if I went to find you, she would die for me. She said that if I go back to find you, I will be responsible for her death.
She is obviously my mother, why did she become like this? does she hate me Am I doing something wrong, I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I don't look like my dad, not at all, why does she hate me
Because of me, she developed a huge hostility towards you who has never met. Chi Qiu, I'm sorry for bringing these negative emotions to you who didn't know it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
please forgive me.
I plan to contact my grandfather and let them pick her up.
I hope she recovers after leaving me.
I am afraid of her, but I also hope that she will be healthy and live a long life.
Lu Ming
September 9, 20xx"
The fifth letter, September 10th, was a week before Lu You was killed.
The few remaining words were wet with tears, and even the writing hand was trembling, and every word was written crookedly.
"Chi Qiu:
Zhan Xinjia.
Miss you very much.
Lu Ming
September 10, 20xx"
...
At around six o'clock that night, the old woman brought dinner.
She followed Lu Ming's order and did not knock on the door. She opened the door directly with the spare key and wanted to put the dinner in the dining room. As a result, as soon as she entered the door, she saw that Lu Ming was still dressed as when he came, and even the suitcase was still placed at the door.
On the low table in front of the sofa was a pile of torn envelopes.
And the words and sentences written by Lu Ming in the letter after letter. They were read by Lu Ming one by one, then sorted according to time, and stacked into a stack.
The deadline for the letter was the week before Lu You's death. In those few days, Lu Ming didn't write any letter, and no one knew what happened to him.
It was getting dark early in autumn, and Lu Ming forgot to turn on the lights.
Outside the window, there was no daylight to give him the conditions to read the letter. Fortunately, he has already seen it. He sat motionless, as if it was his instinct to freeze himself.
The old woman looked at him hesitantly, put the dinner in the designated place dutifully, and left the house silently. She is a well-behaved person and did not disturb Lu Ming.
Lu Ming's eyes were slightly hot, and the letter paper in his hand was warmed by repeated touches. Every word of every letter hangs in his heart. It turned out that he missed Chi Qiu so much, and wanted to return to Chi Qiu's side so much.
But why, the self who loves Chi Qiu so much forgets everything.
...
Lu Ming didn't have any appetite, but he still had to eat dinner. He didn't know how long he would have to live here before he could regain his previous memories. So before that, he couldn't knock down his body first because of the chaotic life.
He turned on a light, sat in front of the dining room, took a few bites of the bacon sandwich prepared by the old woman. But before he could swallow it, he got up in disgust and vomited it out.
He drank too much a while back and almost broke his stomach. The smell of bacon might not be suitable for him now. Lu Ming had no choice but to get up, and went downstairs to buy a light liquid food in the commercial street opposite.
Walking on the road, he saw several foreign children walking past carrying a kite.
The taller child yelled, "Gather in the park tomorrow!" When he passed by Lu Ming, the corner of the kite touched Lu Ming's arm.
He turned around and apologized to Lu Ming: "I'm sorry."
Lu Ming looked at the kite in the child's hand, and thought of the fact that he was going to become a kite, and was slightly dazed.
So he asked the child, "How high can your kite fly?"
The child said proudly: "Very tall!"
Lu Ming's expression was stiff and cold, and he was very unpopular among children. He asked seriously, "Then can it fly far?"
The child looked at him strangely: "You are so curious, why don't you buy one and try it yourself?"
The children rushed away, but Lu Ming actually went to a store and bought a small kite. He is like a "crazy person". In the middle of the night, he took the string of the kite and ran in the open field for half a day.
The light from the street lamp was far away, and his kite couldn't fly, and fell on the dark grass.
Lu Ming was a little disappointed. It turned out that the kite couldn't fly to Chi Qiu's side.
He turned around, and in a daze, he saw his 17-year-old self looking up at the sky, as if he was about to turn into a kite and fly away.
After a while, Lu Ming sat on a bench in the park, looking at the starless night sky. It might be a rainy day tomorrow. It seems that the children's agreement to fly a kite cannot be fulfilled.
It was time for him to go back to sleep.
When he arrived at "home", Lu Ming hung the kite on the wall. He squatted down and took the lead in packing his suitcase. He didn't open Lu You's room, but went straight to the side sleeper, the room where he lived in for a few months.
The furnishings inside are simple, and there are still his used flashlights, a stack of yellowed blank letter paper, and a box of ballpoint pens that are almost used up in the drawer.
Lu Ming took out his pajamas and went to the bathroom to wash up briefly.
For some reason, as soon as Lu Ming stepped into the bathroom, he could smell the faint smell of blood. He raised his head dumbly and looked around. The white and clean walls seemed to be freshly painted, without any scars.
The scar was in his heart, and he suspected that the smell of blood in his body affected his judgment.
There was a voice in his subconscious, urging him to leave this bathroom. Suppressing the discomfort, he quickly took a shower. When he looked in the mirror, the wall behind him suddenly turned red. He turned around in horror, the wall was still white. His head twitched, and the pain seemed like a flash of lightning.
Lu Ming's hands and feet were numb, in a small space.
He saw Lu You again, she was dressed in white, her face was like a jasmine flower in blood, beautiful and pure, she was nailed to the wall and fell asleep forever.
Lu Ming almost lost his voice, and opened the bathroom door. He didn't look back, the familiar feeling wrapped him up, and the oppression and suffocation tortured him endlessly.
It turns out that the fear of so many years has been hidden in this bathroom.
Lu Ming didn't dare to turn his head back. He swallowed hard, his legs were weak, and after a staggered step, he knelt directly on the ground, his knees hurting.
He looked up and heard a "tick tick" sound.
The sound came from the clock on the living room wall, and it seemed to hypnotize Lu Ming's nerves.
—Old places, old things, old memories.
Back then, in this living room, the hands of the clock kept moving like this. Lu You stood in front of the window, quietly watching the rain outside, and remained silent with Lu Ming.
The heavier the rain, the colder Lu You's heart became. She was unbelievably thin, and her beautiful facial features were deeply sunken, like a rose that was about to wither. After defeat, it is still gorgeous.
"Xiao Ming, do you really want to leave me?"
Behind her, 17-year-old Lu Ming stood on the spot with his head lowered, his hands clutching the corners of his clothes. He was shaking, tears clouding his vision.
"Yes." Lu Ming's tears fell, he was also very thin and haggard, he couldn't see Lu You's face clearly, "Mom, don't torture me, please."