[99]
Lu Ming leaned over, embraced Chi Qiu who was shrunk into a ball, and stroked his back.
This movement is as gentle as when Chi Qiu was holding him patiently and tolerantly when he fell ill. Lu Ming's palm was warm and pressed against Chi Qiu's thin body, and the temperature gradually passed to Chi Qiu over time.
In the not-so-big ward, they only occupied a small place.
In such a small space, Chi Qiu felt the scorching heat. But under Lu Ming's comfort, he still didn't relax his strength.
Lu Ming's voice sounded like the moon in the water: "You will press the wound like this, Chi Qiu, raise your head."
Chi Qiu didn't follow suit, he stubbornly clutched the thin cloth on his body, his knuckles turned white, and trapped himself with all his strength.
Lu Ming pinched his hand, the pain made him feel Chi Qiu's helplessness more personally. Lu Ming hugged Chi Qiu, wishing that Chi Qiu could rely on him. It doesn't matter if you cry or make a fuss, it's better than hurting yourself in such a muffled voice.
But when he hugged Chi Qiu, he found that Chi Qiu was crying. Crying silently, like fine stones shattered all over the ground, inconspicuous but painful all over.
But Yin Ren's body hides countless grievances, densely piled up, and the accumulated sadness is about to break through the ground.
It's just that Chi Qiu doesn't know anyone who can accept his pain. He is a taut string that can be broken at a certain moment without cutting or plucking with sharp tools.
He is suffering.
Why
Why is he always so unlucky
Is it because everyone does not want him to regain his eyesight, so every time he decides to "recover his eyesight", he will be caught by reality.
At the age of 15, family conflicts forced him to give up being a healthy person; at the age of 24, Chi Xia’s elopement forced him to continue to hide it; at the age of 25, when he thought everything was going in the right direction, Lin Yuming suddenly appeared The beating made him lose his light again.
The whimpering sound is the rope of hanging, which is about to hang Chi Qiu to death.
His whole body was tense, and his shattered feelings were glass shards. Be it family affection or love, everything stabbed him bloody.
He was wandering in the trough, unwilling to raise his head.
As night fell, the bright moon hung high outside the window, and then a layer of dark clouds gathered unknowingly.
With the help of the faint moonlight, Lu Ming and Chi Qiu remained deadlocked in place.
The nurse came twice but had no choice but to turn back. During this time, she asked Lu Ming softly if he needed help, but Lu Ming refused every time.
Lu Ming sat on the ground with Chi Qiu, and put his suit jacket on Chi Qiu's shoulders. He patted Chi Qiu on the back, said many nice things, and said them tirelessly.
If the night is too long, the temperature of language will be comparable to the moon.
Chi Qiu sticks to his lonely city, his fingers are cold. Lu Ming held his hand and rubbed it carefully: "Tomorrow, we will have an examination first, and then follow the doctor's instructions to cooperate with the treatment, and rest at ease. It is estimated that it will recover after a while."
Chi Qiu was indifferent, as if he didn't have any hope for his eyes.
Sometimes blindness is blindness, and it won't get better in a few days or a few years. God had already given him a chance, but it was his own indecision, and he endured it again and again, which completely ruined his life.
Seeing that Chi Qiu was indifferent, Lu Ming pondered for a while.
He originally wanted to talk to Chi Qiu after the examination tomorrow, but right now, he said the doctor's guess in advance: "Chi Qiu, the doctor said that in your condition, there is a high possibility of temporary blindness. I After checking the information, there are indeed many people who will experience this kind of situation after an accident, but they are all short-lived."
Chi Qiu thought that Lu Ming was lying to him and refused to talk to him.
Lu Ming could only hug him tightly and repeat over and over again: "No matter what, I will accompany you, don't be afraid. I will accompany you until your eyes are cured. If it doesn't work here, we will change places. go abroad."
Anywhere is fine, try one place after another, he will never leave Chi Qiu alone in the dark night again, he will never lose Chi Qiu again.
But it was precisely this sentence that hit Chi Qiu's heart that was already riddled with holes.
Chi Qiu shuddered, his body stiffened from holding a posture for a long time. When he finally raised his head, the tears on his face were shocking, and he frankly announced his downfall to the public.
"Chi Qiu..." Lu Ming wanted to hold his face and wipe away those tears for him, but he was afraid of hurting him, so he was clumsy and at a loss.
Chi Qiu's tears kept falling, and the organs in his body seemed to be wrestling together, causing severe pain. He exerted his strength, his lips and teeth were like a gust of wind withered in the autumn: "...why do you still lie to me?"
What a heartbreaking tone, Chi Qiu could hardly even speak. He gasped for breath with difficulty and swallowed the cry.
Chi Qiu really didn't expect that he was so useful to Lu Ming, so important, that he would even make Lu Ming lie and try his best to please him.
For this reason, Chi Qiu felt both sad for himself and pitiful for Lu Ming.
He pitied Lu Ming for being trapped by hatred for so many years, like a fish strayed into a fishing net, drilling through the tiny holes, unwilling to give up even the last bit of hope.
Chi Qiu's cheeks were still swollen, and every time he twitched while crying, he felt pain.
The distance between them has been pulled far away, Chi Qiu doesn't want to turn back, and doesn't want to be frustrated again. In front of a hypocritical marriage, he couldn't afford it at all.
He is a person who will foolishly deliver his sincerity, but he clearly knows that in Lu Ming's eyes, his sincerity is a discarded existence.
Chi Qiu hated this feeling, the feeling of being pushed off a cliff at any time.
...
Lu Ming's face was pale, he didn't understand Chi Qiu's "cheat" at all.
He instinctively explained: "I didn't lie to you, everything I say now comes from my heart."
Chi Qiu shook his head, he had no expectations for the nothingness promise. He felt that he was equally pitiful. He had already reached this level. Why would Lu Ming lie to him
Among those who don't want him to recover, isn't Lu Ming one of them
What she said to accompany him and what she said to take him to seek medical treatment were all false. What Lu Ming wanted was a blind man who could obediently complete the five-year marriage contract. If he could see it, would Lu Ming choose him? The answer can be imagined.
Chi Qiu is always in a passive position, and even now that he wants to separate, he cannot have a complete initiative.
Chi Qiu's string was pulled to only a millimeter, and he collapsed.
"I can't help it, Lu Ming, I can't continue this marriage with you..." He wailed like a child, covering his face, choking in pain, regardless of the bruises on his face, "I can't... You don't love Me, you don't like me at all...you don't care what I do, you are just perfunctory to me. "
"Chi Qiu, I didn't..."
"I hate that you are like a piece of ice that does not melt, I hate your taciturn rationality, I hate that you care about me step by step... You are like doing a task, you are not even willing to smile at me, it will always be me Sticking to you, I will always love you... "
This is called loving him? This is called sincerity
Chi Qiu lost his indifference, and asked in tears, "Lu Ming, what exactly do you want to let me go?"
"..."
The last sentence almost crushed Lu Ming's heart.
But Lu Ming has already made preparations, even if his heart is broken by Chi Qiu, he can mend it by himself.
Looking at Chi Qiu who was crying to the point of panic, Lu Ming's eyes were red: "Chi Qiu, can you listen to me?" He didn't dare to use force on Chi Qiu, and he didn't know where to put his hands, "I really don't want to divorce you , This is the truth. But if you want to divorce, I will leave, this is also the truth. But after the divorce, I will pursue you again. I love you, Chi Qiu, I love you. "
Chi Qiu was tired of his rhetoric and covered his ears. He was so irritable that he couldn't listen to a word.
This love sound was too ironic, he couldn't bear it, the pain in his heart was an excessive noise: "Please let me go, I beg you, don't say you love me anymore."
"Chi Qiu!"
"I won't divorce you, okay? I won't mention it. Lu Ming, can you stop looking for me? Do you want to see how miserable I am?"
Lu Ming felt sad in his heart, he opened his mouth eagerly, but he didn't say a word.
Chi Qiu yelled and interrupted him: "You obviously don't want me to recover!"
Lu Ming was stunned: "What did you say?"
Chi Qiu closed his eyes, and his voice dropped suddenly: "You don't want me to see at all, so why do you say you love me?"
With these accusations, Chi Qiu seemed to have exhausted all his remaining strength.
Lu Ming's hands were stiff, and all the words he was about to say were cut off in this sentence. He asked again blankly: "What did you say?"
Chi Qiu took a deep breath and said with difficulty: "I heard it with my own ears. You refused the ophthalmologist your uncle found for me, saying that if it wasn't because I couldn't see...you wouldn't have married me at all. "
Without Lu Ming's knowledge, he unilaterally sentenced Lu Ming to "death penalty".
The entire ward fell into an absurd silence.
Chi Qiu huddled in a corner, the torment that real blindness brought to him was far more than that. He couldn't see Lu Ming's expression. Perhaps after knowing that he was blind for the second time, Lu Ming returned to that cold expression.
But he couldn't see anymore, so Lu Ming didn't need to act.
Chi Qiu curled up his toes uncomfortably, and tightly clenched his hands. He thought that the exposed Lu Ming would leave him, give up on himself, and take back all the lies.
But Lu Ming didn't. He wasn't even angry. Instead, it was unexpected. He breathed a sigh of relief for a long time.
"So it's like this..." Lu Ming looked at Chi Qiu, "So you heard our conversation."
It turned out that there was such a terrible misunderstanding between us.
Chi Qiu cried uncontrollably: "Yes."
Lu Ming became emotional, and pressed Chi Qiu's shoulder: "Chi Qiu, then you heard clearly. The day you went to the art exhibition with Ji Yanchen, you were drunk. When you come back, tell me yourself, you see I can see. That is, from that day on, I know your secret."
Chi Qiu opened his mouth, then raised his head suddenly, and was stunned.
"Chi Qiu, I didn't lie to you. You told me that night that you saw Xia Zhiyan clearly. But the next day you didn't remember what happened when you were drunk. I asked you secretly, but you I don’t want to expose this matter, so I have to pretend not to know.”
"… I?"
Lu Ming grabbed his wrist, and then to his palm, he held Chi Qiu's hand unreasonably: "I didn't know what your difficulties were at the time, but since it's something you want to hide, I have I am obliged to help you. For this reason, I rejected my uncle again and again, but he was very persistent, so I had to say those words against my will."
Chi Qiu's tears never stopped. He listened to every word Lu Ming said in disbelief, and the pain in his heart was lowered by decibels.
He shook his head, and slowly, he recalled the situation that night, and he remembered Lu Ming's abnormality the next day.
Chi Qiu choked up and asked, "Is everything you said true?"
"Really!" Lu Ming's voice was also a little choked, and he repeated, "Chi Qiu, everything you heard at that time was against your will. I hope you will recover, I hope you will give me another chance, I hope you To hear me say I love you is to be sincere!"
This is what Lu Ming really wanted to say.