It’s a long story, but it has to be said. Nan Feng raised his hand to the old monk, “But it doesn’t matter.”
The old monk stopped talking, hesitated for a long time, shook his head and said, "It's okay not to say anything."
Nan Feng raised his eyebrows and glanced at the old monk, but did not answer.
Silence, silence, silence, silence.
In the end, it was the old monk who spoke first, "Although I am a member of the Buddhist sect, I am not tolerated by my fellow believers, and the Zen principles I have learned are not liked by the believers."
Nan Feng nodded.
It was obvious that the old monk didn't want to talk in detail, but he couldn't bear Nanfeng's silence and pressed him. He had no choice but to speak again, "In the eyes of the world, I am a deviant monk."
"Why do they look at you like this? What deviant things have you done?" Nanfeng asked.
The old monk smiled bitterly and shook his head when he heard this, "There are so many evil deeds that it's hard to write them down."
Nanfeng also smiled. It is not a good word to have many evil deeds, and "Quizhunanshu" also has derogatory connotations. It must be the words used by those who slandered this old monk back then.
Seeing that the old monk was still hesitant, Yuan Anning said from the side, "Master, we are not trying to force others to do anything, or peeking into their privacy. We just don't know the past, so we don't know the cause and effect."
"That's what the donor said." The old monk nodded, "It's just that there are many twists and turns, and I don't know where to start."
"Tell me about my life first, and then my evil deeds." Nanfeng reminded him jokingly.
As soon as Nanfeng reminded him, the old monk had the general direction of his lecture. After folding his hands and chanting Buddha, he began to recall the lecture.
The old monk's religious name was Baozheng, and his common surname was Liu. He was originally from Jiangbei. In the early years, the Jie, Xiongnu, Xianbei, Qiang, and Di tribes invaded the north and killed them wantonly. The Han people were facing annihilation. Baozheng's family came from the north. Escape to the South.
Escape is not a journey. Starving to death is common. Seeing that they could not feed Baozheng, Baozheng's parents sent him to a temple in the south.
Baozheng was only eight-nine years old when he was ordained. He was smart, hard-working and not lazy, and he could read.
Putting down the butcher's knife and becoming a Buddha immediately is a saying that monks often say, but this is only what they say to outsiders. In fact, most of them think that monks who become monks halfway cannot become Buddhas.
This is like dressing up to marry a wife. No one likes second-hand goods. Many people who become monks have become monks on the way. Most of them are frustrated in love and see through the world of mortals. Such people are generally older, have more experience, and their hearts are not so good. It’s so complicated that it’s hard to calm down and practice Buddhism and enlightenment.
Simple and smart children like Baozheng are rare in temples. As soon as they entered the temple, they were attracted by the abbot, who ordained him and accepted him as a disciple.
The old host was very kind to Baozheng, treating him as his own child, and devoted himself to teaching and cultivating him.
Although the master and apprentice are not blood relatives, they have inherited the mantle and skills. The old host regards Baozheng as his descendant, and Baozheng also regards the old host as his relative.
Baozheng was gifted, had a high level of understanding, and could learn anything quickly. Seeing that there would be a successor, the old abbot was greatly relieved. When Baozheng was sixteen years old, he promoted him to the position of temple supervisor. He taught him more and more diligently, and secretly he had done Be ready to pass the ball to him.
The accident happened when Baozheng was seventeen years old. It is said that men should marry when they are young, and women should marry when they are young. Even though he taught hard and strictly followed the rules, Baozheng still became sensible and started to like women. They said that food, sex, and sex are all important. , It is natural for men to like women and they cannot be suppressed. Soon Baozheng got together with a female pilgrim.
The female pilgrim was not an unmarried girl, but a concubine from a wealthy family. She came to the temple to burn incense and ask for a child. She stopped coming after a while. Bao Zheng was concerned about her and went down the mountain to look for her. When he inquired, he found out that she was a concubine. Got pregnant.
After learning that he had been taken advantage of, Baozheng was very sad. Nine out of ten young people are hypocritical, and Baozheng was no exception. Since he had made a mistake, he began to give up on himself.
Baozheng did not elaborate on how he gave up on himself, and he probably did a lot of bad things. The old host was eager to persuade his disciples, tried to help him cover up, and tried to persuade him to turn back, but Baozheng made up his mind and did not want to take the right path. , no matter how much Master persuaded me, I just refused to listen, and even broke all the eight precepts of Buddhism like a self-abuse.
Being kind and good is like climbing a mountain, it is very tiring. But being a bad person is like jumping into a trap, it's very easy. Seeing his beloved disciple seeking death, the old host was very sad. In addition, because of his old age, he finally died of anger after Bao Zheng was carried back drunk again.
The death of the old host was a huge blow to Baozheng. He changed his mind from then on, practiced self-discipline and cultivated himself, and wanted to be the prodigal son who could never be exchanged for gold.
But he soon discovered that it was easy to turn from good to evil, but difficult to turn from evil to good. After experiencing some dirty and confusing things, his heart had begun to become complicated, and he could never regain his original pure state of mind.
Only now did he understand why the old host was so strict with him in the first place. The more experiences, the better. In his words, some experiences are like toilets. It is best not to be contaminated forever. The best state. It will always be flawless and spotless.
Suffering is not an excuse for depravity. While regretting the past, Baozheng did not give up on himself again because he could not reach the superior state. Instead, he calmly thought about his mistakes, studied Buddhism with concentration, and deeply reflected on his own mistakes.
There are similarities between cultivating Taoism and cultivating Buddhism, but there are also big differences. The biggest difference is that cultivating Taoism is a step-by-step process, but cultivating Buddhism is different. Cultivating Buddhism requires sudden enlightenment. Ten years of hard work is often not as good as one sudden enlightenment. In the end, he has no intention Inspired by the lotus flower, I found another way to the superior realm. The lotus flower emerges from the mud and remains unstained. Everyone will make mistakes, but as long as the mind is strong and the heart is good, even if you have made mistakes, deep down you will still feel the same. Able to bloom pure white lotus.
Baozheng understood this truth and got rid of his inner demons, and his Buddhist practice improved by leaps and bounds. As his cultivation improved, he was surprised to find that being spotless was not the highest state of life. The highest state of life was to walk into darkness and succeed. Come out of the darkness, because only those who have experienced darkness know what light is.
Just as he saw the light, things happened again. The old rich man died, and the concubine with whom he had an affair was kicked out by his mistress. At that time, he had taken over the reins, and the orphans and widowers had no one to rely on, so they came to him for help. .
Baozheng did not refuse to recognize his concubine as mother and son because he had deceived him back then. He recognized them openly, passed on the position of host to others, and took the mother and son away with him.
Although he left the monastery, Baozheng did not return to the secular life. After settling the mother and son, he did not live with them. Instead, he lived elsewhere and tried to make money to support their lives.
Wearing the hat of a monk, Bao Zheng has been looked down upon by the world, but he has never abandoned the two of them. There is only one reason. He must bear the consequences for his mistakes. It is not terrible to do something wrong, but it is terrible to do it. Wrong things can be avoided by the consequences. A person who dares to admit his past mistakes and is willing to bear the consequences is a brave person and worthy of respect.
Because he had to seek money, Baozheng could not stay by his mother and son's side all the time. When he returned from a long trip, he found that mother and son had been killed by evildoers. The scene was so miserable that he couldn't bear to look at it.
Baozheng had already understood the Tao at that time and was not too sad. He just buried the two of them calmly, just like a monk should behave.
But Baozheng's subsequent behavior was not like a monk. He tried his best to track down the murderers. After finding the murderers, he did not forgive them. Instead, he killed them all one by one with one palm.
Baozheng's reputation was not good, so he was slandered and slandered even more. He was said to be narrow-minded, cruel and easy to kill, and a scum of Buddhism.
Hearing this, Nanfeng interrupted Baozheng, "Master, why don't you forgive them?"
Baozheng thought for a while and said, "Why should I forgive them?"
"Master, you don't look like a Buddhist." Nanfeng shook his head and said. At this moment, he had vaguely understood why the Shangqing Patriarch admired Baozheng.
"I used to be a Buddhist, but I am no longer a Buddhist..."