Song Nineteen returned to the house as usual, Li Shiyi rarely read a book, sitting by the bed folding a few blue-gray jackets, she lifted her eyelids and glanced at Song Nineteen, as if there was a clear soup hanging on her face. Shui smiled and asked her, "Will you wash your face? I'll pour water."
Song Nineteen said "En" and sat by the bed with his arms folded, staring at Li Shiyi's folded clothes in a daze.
Even her clothes were neatly folded, with creases like frames, square.
She thought and thought, and always felt that Li Shiyi was not like this in the past. In the past, she was free and easy, and she took out the coffin and poured herself into the dungeon. If she was really afraid of the cycle of heaven, how could she eat this kind of food
She looked at Li Shiyi, who was pouring water with a copper pot, and felt a soul looming in her body.
"What are you looking at?" Li Shiyi paid attention to the movements of his subordinates, his eyelashes flaring coldly.
"I was thinking," Song Nineteen's heel tapped the bed board lightly, "Ling Heng is really awakening."
Li Shiyi paused, holding the handle and turning the copper pot upside down, laying it down unhurriedly, then turned to look at Song Shijiu.
She was so eloquent that Song Nineteen's unfinished words did not require any comment. Song Nineteen panicked. She originally thought that what she was afraid of should be the returning Ling Heng who no longer had her in her heart, but she never thought about it, what if she didn't like Ling Heng
The thought frightened her and made her feel guilty. She only glanced at Li Shiyi, and then looked away.
Li Shiyi stood in the room, half of the moonlight hit her face, she was charming like an immortal, her left index finger rested on the shelf of the washbasin, and her palm began to sweat.
She squinted at Song Nineteen, and suddenly realized that she had never understood herself.
She thought that her change was because of Ling Heng, because of the Emperor Taishan, because of that illusory identity. But only she herself knew that it wasn't.
In the past, when I was alone, the sky covered the earth and the hut, and the nakedness came and went without worry, and it was natural and unrestrained. It was the girl named Song Nineteen who made her look forward to the future, weigh it so much, and fear the bad ending.
She believed that Ling Heng was the same, or in other words, it was the same for everyone in the world who fell in love, and no one was spared.
She stared at Song Nineteen with dry eyes, clear and clear, and she could hardly see the grievance that had grown in her heart for the first time.
Li Shiyi used to face outsiders with a hidden face, but now she faces her lover with a hidden emotion.
In the end, she didn't say anything, just swiped her fingers on the wooden frame quietly, wiped off the shallow sweat, and then turned sideways to twist the handkerchief for her.
The hot water was misty, which relieved some fragile emotions in a timely manner, but the winter nights were really long, and this winter was really long.
Song Nineteen took a deep breath, not knowing why he had a relatively silent moment with Li Shiyi. The little girl who was chattering around Li Shiyi was like a seedling being beaten, so she was caught off guard. The posture grows into an adult.
It seems that because of Chunping, she was grasped by a young hand and instantly became an adult.
Song Nineteen walked over, stood behind Li Shiyi, stretched out his hand and gently tugged at her sleeve, and called to her in a low voice, "Eleven."
Li Shiyi didn't look back, Pa Ziyu was in the palm of his hand, waiting for her to speak.
Song Nineteen tried his best to make his tone lighter, but when he said it, he still had a three-pointed prayer: "I told you before that if I did a lot of bad things, you must forgive me."
Her heart was pounding hard, pulling at her originally delicate throat, and she could only swallow her saliva to stop the sourness from spreading.
She didn't want to send Chunping back, she wanted to keep her.
Li Shiyi straightened his back, turned around, put the twisted handkerchief in Song Shijiu's palm, closed his chin, and sighed, "Ajiu."
For the first time, she called the person in front of her, Ah Jiu, with warmth and solemnity.
"I can accommodate all the mistakes you've made," she said.
Song Nineteen raised his head, the hope in his eyes was like a glimmer of light, clearly extinguished.
Li Shiyi paused, then said, "The premise is that you have to correct it."
The light in the pupils went out with a "pop", faster than any gust of wind.
Song Nineteen lowered his eyes: "I can't do it."
Li Shiyi had never seen Chunping's scarred feet, and she didn't know what the world would be like ten years later, but she knew.
Whether it is a spiritual connection with Chunping, or a natural acumen as a beast, she just knows.
She drooped her shoulders weakly and said softly, "I just remembered, maybe I don't have that much ability."
"I don't know how to send her back. What if I send her back by mistake? If I send her back to another year, it will cause even more trouble?"
She frowned and babbled, as stubborn as an unruly little beast.
She tried very hard to ignite the hope in her heart, moistened her lower lip, and said, "I should keep her, I can not let her go out, if you go out, wear a mask, don't meet anyone, wait ten more. Next year, I will…”
She talked for a long time, but Li Shiyi remained silent, and when Song Shijiu's eyelashes fanned the fluttering young butterfly, he heard a cold voice: "What did you think when Qin Liangyu was forced to stay in the world? ?"
Do you also have the unbearable self-righteousness, thinking that you have done a good deed that everyone is happy with
The cruel words were like a needle, piercing the splendid brocade carefully woven by Song Nineteen with a piercing sound.
Qin Liangyu? Song Nineteen suddenly raised his head and looked at Li Shiyi with dark eyes.
"General Qin is a ray of spirit when he is left in the world. Although the other souls are incomplete, they can also be classified into reincarnation. Therefore, she can stay in your enchantment and coexist with her reincarnated body."
"But Chunping is different."
"She is a living person. In a few years, she will be born, how can there be two Chunping in the world? And if she can't be born, will the current Chunping still exist?"
"Or, do you want to turn her into a ghost?"
Li Shiyi was unbelievably gentle even when he was aggressive. His eyes from top to bottom were like spring breeze, soothing the girl who was vaguely uneasy.
Song Nineteen's face lost all blood, and her delicate lips were cracked. She was silent for a long time, and when the towel in her hand was completely cold, she came back to her senses.
She murmured: "Being a ghost doesn't seem to be a bad thing."
It's better than her going back to suffer inhuman torture.
Her eyes stretched staggeringly and blinked slowly, as if begging for a life-saving approval.
Li Shiyi stared at her quietly, before shaking his head after a long while.
She was very disappointed.
"You clearly know that if Chunping doesn't go back, maybe the war will be longer and the casualties will be heavier. The torture you can see at one end is torture, and the one you can't see is torture, isn't it?"
"I can't save the person in front of me, so what is there to do with me at a distance of thousands of miles?" Song Nineteen bit his lower lip and tried his best to refute.
Li Shiyi took a deep breath, the corners of his mouth pursed, and the world of Chu, He and Han was as clearly understood.
She said, "If what you can see is suffering, and what you can't see is not suffering, then should it be called kindness or selfishness?"
Song Shijiu's shoulders trembled, and he was stunned by Li Shiyi's words, his eyes narrowed as if scorched by fire, and he looked at her silently and blankly.
She is selfish, she has always been like this, she was born in Zhongshan, grew up in Zhongshan, grew up laughing and playing with beasts, leaned against one place to keep warm in winter, and soaked in water in summer. In her world, there is no justice, no black and white, no order, only closeness and non-closeness.
But Li Shiyi asked her with the mercy of the gods, and made her send the person she loves to an inhuman place with her own hands.
There was an uncontrollable choking in her voice, and she said, "I am not a god, nor a human being, Lingheng, I am a beast."
Do you understand what a beast is
It depends on breath and instinct to judge likes, it is when you open your eyes and you become dependent on the life in front of you, it is forging ahead without fear of life and death, it is thousands of people who have died and they have to protect their hearts, they have no education, no knowledge, no Know the trade-offs and pros and cons, beast.
She didn't say this, but looked sideways at the fireworks on the table, and heard Li Shiyi say in a slow voice, "You used to be a beast, but now you are a human. , you should have remembered the lessons from the past."
She paused, and the last sentence almost sighed: "But you are always like this, emotional."
As soon as the four words fell, the western bell happened to strike twelve, and the bell was not noisy, not even as loud as the firecrackers of the playful children downstairs, but in Song Nineteen's ears, it seemed like some kind of destruction. The overwhelming judgment shattered her precious past.
She understood for a moment why the winter night was so long.
Because there was fog in her eyes, frost formed under her eyelashes, and the rain was warm, it seemed that her eyes were too cold.
She looked at Li Shiyi through the thick water mist. She had held her hand since she was born, and since then she has placed her first in her heart. She learned how to dress and eat with her, and travelled with her. She was reluctant to spend the night when she was angry, but the sporadic love she gave could last for a long time.
If she is a human, then she can really be a first-class silly girl in the sky.
Song Nineteen lowered his head, smiled self-deprecatingly, sucked in his nose, then raised his head and put Li Shiyi's face into his eyes.
She nodded and admitted, "I'm being emotional."
"I'm so emotional, that's why I chase you so shamelessly." The little girl bumped into the wall again and again in her indifference, and again and again stood up by herself, smirking and tugging at the irregular clothes, and happily led her hand.
"I am so sentimental that after you undress others, I give myself to you without any qualms." Even when the happiness was stolen by wastage, I cheered for myself, reluctant to make her worry so much an hour.
"I'm so emotional, that after knowing all the reasons for my relationship with you, I abandoned all the face of the nine masters." She decided that she would not leave, so she didn't even chase, and she was really so unsatisfactory. , lying on the roof where she could hear her breathing every night, and finally summoned up the courage to walk back to the desolate and desolate yard.
She didn't even give face to the tears that she tried to restrain, and rolled out like this disobediently, making her sobbing and trembling in her chest.
She raised her hand to wipe away tears, and said dumbly, "I'm really emotional."
In fact, the grievances accumulated for a long time have never disappeared. She was firmly suppressed in the sweet and greasy love before, and also firmly suppressed the long-lost self-esteem. Now they rose up to resist, slapped her in the face, and were powerless to fight back.
She didn't want her mind to be so small. But women are usually like this. They don’t remember the upper limit of the relationship, but always remember the lower limit of the relationship. For example, she may not repeatedly think of those swords and fires that lived and died together, but she will definitely remember that she woke up groggy one day, You wouldn't peel an egg for her.
Li Shiyi listened to her cry, with a never-before-seen expression, like a heart that had been gouged out by a knife on his face, she should have stepped forward and hugged her, but she couldn't move no matter what. .
The knuckles of her hands were pinched white, and the veins on her weak wrists were sticking out, but she still stood steady, staring at Song Nineteen with extremely sour eyes.
It turned out that Song Nineteen had so much unwillingness, it turned out that her love with her was not as healthy as she thought.
Song Nineteen's choked percussion attacked her heart, which was shrinking in pain, like a storm, and something that had been buried without a trace was drilled out of the gap.
That indifferent and indifferent person seems to be unbelievably unfeeling. However, has she not been hesitant, fearful, and worrying about gains and losses? Wasn't she afraid that Song Nineteen's dependence was not love? Wasn't she afraid that she would have a trace of regret after awakening? Just now, when she read the strangeness of Ling Heng in Song Nineteen's eyes, how did she convince herself to twist a towel for her calmly
Just as she never mentioned that Song Nineteen once possessed her, was she shy, reserved, or worried that if she found out, she would be embarrassed or embarrassed when she retrieved her memory
As for the matter of going to Jinyun Mountain to search for the hunchback, she has always been resolutely procrastinating again and again, but why
She swallowed and swallowed, her nose twitched slightly, but the words she wanted to explain were never squeezed out of her throat. She raised her head and looked at the empty bedroom.
The towel handkerchief was thrown on the table without pity, and it was as limp as the skeleton was scattered.