Chapter 1861 You provoked me
When she finished, Bao Siqing was already knocking on the door.
"Ok?"
"You haven't left yet!" Yun Hua was full of shame.
"What are you afraid of, old husband and wife. I won't despise you." Bao Siqing said with a light smile, "Or do you despise me? Well, I'm older than you, and I'll be older than you in the future, sick In bed, do you want to despise me and refuse to come to my side... "
Yun Hua suddenly opened the bathroom door and gave someone who was thinking wildly a hard look.
Bao Siqing wiped his nose and smiled, reaching out to hug her.
"Get up, I haven't washed my hands yet." Yun Hua glared at him.
"I've said it all, I don't despise you."
"But it's okay if I hate myself, you go away, I have to wash my hands and face... How long have I been sleeping, why is my face so oily..."
Yun Hua washed his face and returned to the hospital bed. Bao Siqing had already had lean meat porridge delivered.
The two of you ate a bowl of porridge one bite at a time.
"Just wake up, don't eat too much, eat later when you're hungry." Bao Siqing put the thermos next to him, then sat opposite Yun Hua, held Yun Hua's hand and said, "Now, can you tell me?" Me, what happened? Why did I... faint. Did you perceive something, or something else?"
Yun Hua's face changed slightly.
Thinking of the big blue ocean, she couldn't help but feel chills all over her body...
Yun Hua looked at Bao Siqing.
Her eyes were filled with all kinds of entanglement and pain...
"Huahua, I thought we were already the most trustworthy people in each other. If even life can be handed over, what else can't I know?" Bao Siqing held her face and pressed his forehead against hers, Looking straight at her, he said word by word.
Yun Hua's tears suddenly fell.
"I... nothing, I just... just..."
How can she say what she has suffered
The man in front of her is the person she trusts the most and also the person she loves the most, but the more she loves, the more timid he becomes. If he knew that she was so stupid, she...
She could say anything, even the secret of rebirth to him, but she really couldn't tell him about her miserable past.
She couldn't speak.
"Okay, okay, I won't ask." Seeing her like this, he felt distressed first, and hugged her directly, "Okay, it's my fault, I shouldn't force you. Be good, if you don't want to say it, just say it." Needless to say, the past has passed, it is not important, what is important is now, well, don't be afraid, don't be afraid... "
He held her tightly in his arms, patted her back gently, and comforted her.
Yun Hua gradually calmed down.
She gently sat up from his arms and looked at him, "Ah Qing, it's not that I don't want to tell you, but that is really too bad a memory for me. I... I... "
"I know, needless to say." Bao Siqing quickly stopped her, "Tell me first, did you perceive anything at that time?"
Yun Hua shook his head with a wry smile.
She knew he was changing the subject, trying to forcefully connect her fainting condition with her fading perception.
"I didn't feel anything." Yun Hua said softly, "I fainted because I saw that sea of blue flowers..."
"See the blue sea of flowers?" Bao Siqing frowned, "It's not like you haven't seen it before."
"Yeah." Yun Hua looked at him, "There was another time, you should know, it was at the Institute of Mental Health in S City, that time...Brother Ci and Sister Mo Mo should have told you."
"I said so." Bao Siqing looked at her, "I'm worried."
Yun Hua nodded softly, "I know. The situation this time is similar to that time. I saw the sea of blue flowers... Oh no, it should be said that I saw the sea of flowers in the mental hospital, so... just I will think of the unbearable past. That is where I... am most powerless and most afraid... "
"Ah Qing, do you know what I am most afraid of?" She looked at him and said.
"What?"
"What I am most afraid of is not death, but after death, will it be wiped out, or will I return to the place where I came from? If it is wiped out, that is probably the best destination, and if it is returned to the place where I came The place..." Yun Hua was full of disappointment, took a long breath, and said the last word softly after a long time, "Then I will, life would be better than death."
Looking into her eyes, Bao Siqing's heart trembled suddenly.
He hugged her tightly, very tightly, as if he wanted to rub her into his body.
But it was such a tight hug, so tight that she couldn't breathe, that gave her a sense of security, and made her feet feel like they were stepping on the ground.
"No, no, I won't let you go." Bao Siqing's voice was extremely firm, "I won't let you go, I definitely won't let you go, even if you really don't belong here, I I won't let you go either! I'll treat you as if you came here for me. If you come, provoke me, don't even think about leaving!"
…
The two sat hugging each other, and it took a long time for Yun Hua to completely calm down.
"Huahua, I won't mention this matter again in the future." Bao Siqing said in a low voice, "But your situation is too serious, so I'm a little worried."
"worry about what?"
"Your situation is a stress response, the body's self-protection mechanism, the combination of the mental hospital and the blue iris, has even replaced those horrible memories and become a picture deeply ingrained in your brain, as long as you are in a mental illness Hospital, and then saw a lot of blue irises in a mental hospital, this combination will have a great impact on you. It is similar to a serious allergen, as soon as you touch this allergen, you will be allergic instantly , and your allergy symptoms are also very serious!"
Bao Siqing said, "I'm worried that if you don't intervene, in some cases, if you suddenly have this situation again... it will be dangerous."
Yun Hua pursed her lips, "But, how can this interfere with the treatment? I..."
"This is a psychological problem, and a professional psychiatrist should be involved." Bao Siqing said, "It's actually the same as treating various psychological disorders, and it's also similar to the desensitization therapy used to treat allergies. A little contact with weak Stimulus, after you get used to a certain amount of stimulation, increase it until you can adapt like a normal person.”
Yun Hua's hand on his waist couldn't help but clenched his shirt tightly.
"Then... then...you want to find Brother Beiqian?" Yun Hua's voice was still hesitant, "I...do you want to ask Brother Beiqian if he has time? Maybe he's busy..."
"No." Bao Siqing shook his head, "I'm not looking for Beiqian. This matter is too important to me, I dare not let anyone know, otherwise, there is a high possibility that someone will deliberately bring you into the Trap." Chapter 1758 142 days left
"Then who are you looking for?" Yun Hua said, "Don't you trust Brother Beiqian's words more?"
"I've already made arrangements." Bao Siqing said, "You use training as an excuse to go abroad once a month. I contacted a teacher. He is old and has long since stopped receiving psychological counseling. The key is Yes, very few people know that he has worked in this field. He is a gourmet now, and when you meet him, no one else will think about psychological counseling.”
"...Okay." Yun Hua took a deep breath and nodded in agreement.
She knew that Bao Siqing was doing it for her own good, and if it made him feel at ease, she was willing to do it.
But in fact, she was not optimistic about it, because she knew how defensive she was. Apart from Bao Siqing, she had no way to trust anyone else.
The secret of her rebirth will only be told to him alone, other people's words... not at all.
As for the secret of the mental hospital and the blue iris, it's not that she doesn't trust Bao Siqing, but... it's just that she can't say it.
It's like letting a girl who has suffered violence say all that to the person she loves the most. It's not about trust, it's just... low self-esteem.
"By the way, how is the investigation of Gu Huaiyi's case going? I can't help you either." Yun Hua hesitated, "Why don't I go again, this time I'm mentally prepared, it should be fine. Mainly, I seem to feel something!"
"No."
Bao Siqing said, "Let them investigate the case themselves. You'd better not participate in the investigation of these cases in the future."
"Why?" Yun Hua was puzzled.
Bao Siqing sighed, "With your mental state, how can I rest assured that you will participate in those cases again."
"ah… "
Yun Hua bit her lip, but she didn't expect this to be the reason.
"Your mental state is not very good. Those negative emotions have been following you. Even though you have pressed them to the bottom of your heart, those negative emotions still affect you. You forgot to promise me to cooperate with the treatment, then You can’t let those negative emotions continue to affect you. It’s not good for your mental state.”
Bao Siqing was very sure.
Yun Hua hesitated for a moment, "But, I haven't verified it yet. Is my perception ability still there...I..."
"It doesn't matter anymore." Bao Siqing said, "Without the help of your perception ability, the police would still have to solve the case. Can't they always rely on your perception ability?"
Yun Hua was silent for a while, then she looked up at Bao Siqing again, "But, I still want to give it a try, if I'm not sure, I don't know what to do, I've been thinking about it, up and down, and I can't let it go. "
Bao Siqing fell silent.
Yun Hua hugged his arm, wobbly and coquettishly, "Let me try again, this time you are with me, I will definitely not get dizzy. I will try again to see if I can perceive it, no matter whether this ability is Still, I will not use it lightly in the future. I just want a result now, if there is no clear result, I worry that sometimes, I suddenly perceive something, and I can’t believe it... "
Bao Siqing sighed helplessly.
…
An hour and a half later.
Together with Bao Siqing, Yun Hua came to the nursing home again.
"If I accompany you in, you won't faint?" Bao Siqing said, "Do you still dare to look at that picture?"
"As long as I'm with you, I'll dare." Yun Hua said, but she was still a little nervous in her heart, and she couldn't help but tighten Bao Siqing's hand.
Bao Siqing glanced at her. Although she acted calmly, only he could tell that she was actually nervous, really nervous.
"I will always be with you." Bao Siqing said softly, rubbing his fingers lightly on the back of her hand, through this kind of skin-to-skin contact, reminding her, letting her know that he is by her side, always there.
Yun Hua nodded, nodded again, took a deep breath, and then stepped into the gate of the nursing home. After walking a few steps, she couldn't help but turn her head to look at Bao Siqing, "Ah Qing, don't let me go."
"Okay, I won't let you go, never. Even if you want to shake off my hand, I won't let you go, never."
"Yeah." Yun Hua felt more at ease.
Bao Siqing's eyes stayed on her all the time, paying close attention to all her movements, her eyes, the changes in her face, everything about her.
Yun Hua held Bao Siqing's hand tightly, feeling his strength and warmth.
She walked in step by step.
I went to the place I went to yesterday... an outdoor activity venue for mentally ill people...
It's that door again.
Yun Hua stood in front of the door, hesitating for a few seconds.
She knew that as soon as she opened the door, she would see the blue sea of flowers.
She wasn't sure if she could really calm down.
In fact, sometimes, she herself feels very strange.
She herself knew that she was very sensitive to the combination of the mental hospital and the blue iris. She did not admit that she was afraid, but the subconscious fear could not deceive anyone...
That's probably the case.
She has recited it silently in her heart many times, and even thought about that picture countless times in her heart, that blue ocean...
However, when Mingming was thinking about that picture in her heart, she wasn't too scared, at least not so scared that she lost consciousness.
But when she really saw that picture, the sudden impact would still make her instantly... collapse...
Do you want to open the door and go in
Yun Hua couldn't help but look back at Bao Siqing.
Bao Siqing was half a step behind her, and his hand was still tightly holding hers.
"Don't worry, I won't let you go." When she looked back, Bao Siqing said firmly.
Yun Hua nodded, took a deep breath, summoned up his courage, and pushed open the door with his other hand.
But the moment she pushed the door open, she still couldn't help closing her eyes.
After taking another deep breath, she slowly opened her eyes, opening them bit by bit, allowing the piece of blue to enter her vision bit by bit...
When her field of vision was filled with a sea of blue flowers, her hands were clenched instantly.
The hand that was held by him tightly held his hand, using the greatest strength that her body could erupt.
And the other hand was also clenched into a fist, and she placed it near her lips. Her teeth couldn't help biting the fist.
"Let go, draw, let go, let go!"
When her world was silent, Bao Siqing's voice suddenly came. He squeezed her jaw, forcing her to loosen her teeth.
There was still a little bewilderment in her eyes.
When she looked down, she realized that the fist that she clenched tightly on her lips had already been bitten out with a row of deep teeth marks, and even bleeding from the bite!
But she didn't know the pain at all.
"It's okay, it's okay, I'm here." Bao Siqing held her hand distressedly, put it on his lips and blew gently, and his soft lips pressed against her hand again on, gently kissed.
Yun Hua, who was tense all over, was finally able to relax slowly.
She took a deep breath and looked at Bao Siqing with a pale face, "Ah Qing, I... I just..."
"It's okay." Bao Siqing interrupted her, "It's nothing, you're just too nervous. Follow me."
As Bao Siqing said, he pulled her and walked towards the blue sea of flowers.
"No... No... I'm not going!" When Yun Hua saw that he was going to pull herself towards the sea of flowers, her face turned pale instantly, and she dragged behind her, refusing to leave no matter what, life or death. past.
"It's just some flowers, some plants, some plants that have no thoughts, no consciousness, and no actions." Bao Siqing said softly, "They won't hurt you."
Yun Hua continued to shake his head.
Blue flowers, blue flowers...
She didn't dare to go over, she was afraid of being swallowed again...
"Okay, we won't go, we won't go." Looking at her, Bao Siqing knew that he couldn't force her to go over, otherwise her reaction would be more distanced, and she would be even more afraid.
"Then look at me." Bao Siqing held her face in both hands, forcing her to look at him.
Yun Hua looked over.
I saw his face that could make countless girls scream, and his focused eyes.
The person reflected in his eyes was her, only her, and no one else.
Her heart was suddenly at ease.
The beating heart gradually calmed down...
"Ah Qing, I... I'm sorry, I'm too stupid, I can't do it..." Yun Hua felt guilty, "I can't get over it, I let you down..."
"I'll never be disappointed in you." Bao Siqing smiled softly. He lowered his head and kissed her forehead, her eyebrows, her eyes, the bridge of her nose, and her lips...
Lingering, lingering.
He seemed to be tasting the most delicious jelly in the world, as if he couldn't get enough of it...
Yun Hua was very uncomfortable at first, but gradually, she got lost in his lingering affection.
It seems that there is nothing else in this world except him and her.
He took away her breath, took away her language, took away all her senses, and made her world only him, so pure, only him...
She reached out and hugged him tightly.
…
Yun Hua was so angry that he pushed someone hard.
It's tempting to push someone away.
But a certain person's strength is not something she can compare to. He is in Iron Man's embrace, and she can't push him away at all!
Bao Siqing laughed, "Shy? Huahua, I thought you should be experienced, um, I mean... still so shy in your previous life?"
Yun Hua's face changed slightly, and he became stiff.
But Bao Siqing kissed her lips, her earlobe, her neck, her collarbone indifferently...
"It's impossible to say I don't mind. I mind, damn it, I'm even mad with jealousy. But for me, the most important person is you. Who made me unlucky to meet you first. I can't participate Your past, but I will hold on to your future..."
(end of this chapter)