Text/Zhong only
Don't care about the background
After the final exam, the senior year began a long summer vacation.
Zhang Man marked the last test paper, packed up his things, and left the office with his bag. She was locking the door when the phone in her pocket suddenly vibrated. She took out her phone and glanced at the screen, it was her mother, Zhang Huifang.
"Hey, Mom... Well, today's holiday, I'll be back this weekend... Got it."
I don't know when it started, most of the conversations between mother and daughter ended in urging marriage. Zhang Huifang said that a woman like her in her thirties, if she doesn't fall in love or get married, she will completely lose her hormones, and it will be difficult to be tempted anymore.
Zhang Man felt that what he said was right, but it wasn't right either.
She really has no feeling for all kinds of men around her, but in recent years, she has been dreaming of a person more and more frequently. Every time I wake up from a dream, the turbulent heartbeat seems to repeat the throbbing of my youth.
As soon as I walked downstairs of the teaching building, I met Zhou Wenqing, the dean of the teaching: "Mr. Zhang, are you free to have dinner together at night?"
Zhang Man instinctively wanted to refuse, thinking of Zhang Huifang's increasingly anxious urging, the words turned into: "I am free."
The man was a little surprised when he heard the words, and turned to look happy: "Then wait for me."
Zhang Man nodded, stood at the entrance of the stairs holding his bag, and sighed inwardly as he watched him hurry upstairs.
It's not that she doesn't know what Zhou Wenqing means. In all fairness, he is a calm and down-to-earth man with strong work ability and a sense of responsibility in life. Although she is a few years older than her and has been divorced, it is the best choice for her.
There are very few people around her age who are not married yet.
He got down quickly and changed into a refreshing shirt, but the slightly drooping nasolabial lines on his face made him look a little tired.
The two went to a Sichuan restaurant next to the school.
Zhou Wenqing chose a corner and wiped the table and chairs with a tissue before inviting her to sit down.
Very gentleman.
"Mr. Zhang is here to order, ladies first."
Zhang Man hooked up a dry pot Chiba tofu and a spicy chicken as usual.
However, as soon as she ordered and handed him the menu, he crossed it out and chose two other new dishes.
Zhang Man was a little surprised and looked up at him.
Zhou Wenqing smiled and said, "I guessed that you would order these two dishes. I still remember that when you first came to our school, you ordered these two dishes at the first teacher's dinner, and they have not changed for so many years. Zhang Man, life is not static, sometimes people may stay in their comfort zone all the time and have no courage to jump out. But change is not always a bad thing, why not try it? Whether it is vegetables or people. "
Zhang Man bowed his head, his heart trembled, he knew what he meant, but he didn't know how to answer. Fortunately, Zhou Wenqing didn't make it difficult for her and changed the subject.
Halfway through the meal, it was quite harmonious. Zhou Wenqing was very good at driving the atmosphere. Even if she didn't talk much, the atmosphere between the two was not awkward.
At this time, the mobile phone on the table rang, and it was the WeChat prompt tone, which rang several times in a row.
"Sorry, I'll read the news."
She turned on her phone and found that it was her best friend Chen Feier.
【Where are you Manman? Look at the first hot search! ! ! 】【! ! ! ! ! 】
. …
Chen Feier made several rows of exclamation marks in a row.
Zhang Man thought to himself that there is a high probability that her fan's little fresh meat was released. She absently opened Weibo and glanced at the hot search.
This look made her whole person freeze instantly.
The number one trending search turned out to be... His name had the word 'Boil' in front of it, just like when he became the first Chinese theoretical physicist to win the Nobel Prize three months ago.
But the following two words were clearly printed into her sight. The too violent and turbulent impact made her incapable of interpretation for a moment, and she completely lost her ability to comprehend.
【Li Wei committed suicide】
suicide? What's the meaning.
Simple and direct messages, literal meanings that can be understood without thinking, but she suddenly couldn't understand them.
The brain seems to have stopped rotating, or it has turned on the self-protection mechanism, giving every cell in the body a buffer time.
Zhang Man clicked into the hot search, and looked back and forth for a few minutes. The numbness and sluggishness gradually disappeared. The brain had not been able to accurately receive this information, and the heart had already started to disrupt the usual beating frequency.
"Bang!" The sound of the glass falling to the ground shattered sharply, and she regained her senses, only to find that the glass in her hand fell to the ground.
Zhou Wenqing quickly called the waiter to clean up, and looked at her with some concern.
"Teacher Zhang, what's wrong with you?"
Zhang Man opened his mouth, but was speechless. Her whole body began to tremble unconsciously, and the temperature in her body gradually lost, as if she had been sucked into a black hole and fell into boundless panic. Before all the emotions overwhelmed her, she stood up abruptly with her bag in her hand: "Zhou... Teacher Zhou, I'm not feeling well, so I'll go first."
She walked out of the hotel quickly, and the headlights on the street exploded, making her dizzy for a moment.
The phone was still vibrating, she opened it subconsciously, and saw that Chen Feier sent her several messages.
【… Manman, are you alright? 】
【Manman, where are you now? 】
Zhang Man wanted to reply, but after trying it out, he found that his hands were shaking so he couldn't type, so he gave up.
Walking unconsciously, all her strength was enough to support her to walk to an empty street corner, which was the back door of a convenience store.
She slowly crouched down against the wall, covered her mouth and gasped deeply, trying to inhale some cool air to ease the pain in her heart. The temples throbbed uncontrollably, and the entire airway was sore from the violent sobbing.
But the most distressing thing is that even though the body has lost control, the mind is so clear, terribly clear.
With shaking hands, she opened Weibo, holding the last bit of luck.
It must be a mistake, it must be a rumor, he just won the award, how could he commit suicide
However, the cause and effect of the incident are clearly analyzed on Weibo, and there is no room for doubt.
Li Wei died and was found to have committed suicide at home, just the day before the awards ceremony.
In his dying letter to his PhD student Jackie, he wrote: "...you are a very gifted student, I have recommended you to Professor William, and I am sorry for the inconvenience that is about to cause you... Doing one crazy thing, physics is all I have. In fact, long ago, I had a premonition that the day it ended, the darkness would completely engulf me.”
Later, Jackie was interviewed: "When I received this email, I felt something was wrong and immediately called the police. Unfortunately, when the police arrived at the professor's house, everything was too late. The most dazzling genius of this century has left us forever. "
The researchers who worked with him at Princeton also claimed: "Mankind has lost a great genius."
His psychiatrist revealed that Li Wei had suffered from severe schizophrenia since he was a child, and had been suppressed by drugs over the years. But the end of his research led to a violent outbreak of his mental illness, which led him to commit suicide.
"Lee's inner world is actually a thousand times richer than others. He often imagines things that don't really exist in the world, and he can easily lose control of his emotions due to external stimuli. This is what we usually call paranoia. At the same time, Lee is a keen and intelligent person, and these mental illnesses left him with a strong sense of powerlessness that he could not control, and ultimately chose to give up his life."
Zhang Man saw this with tears in his eyes, and shook his hands to read the disclosures of other insiders. Some things that had been separated for many years suddenly became clear.
Schizophrenia, paranoia, that's what happened.
It turned out that those things in those days were really not what he did on purpose, and he didn't lie to her.
He was just sick.
One after another, the images formed a string in her mind.
At that time, she felt unbelievable about his deception, and asked him aggrievedly, and even spoke viciously after getting a negative answer.
She really didn't know, didn't know that he was just sick.
I still remember that in the last period of time they got together, he seemed to be extremely depressed, empty and gloomy like a lone soul.
Zhang Man opened his mouth, the choked sob in his throat could not be restrained, and he burst into tears.
Some things she couldn't let go of for so many years, but now they all have an explanation, but so what, he's gone.
—
Two years ago, when he was packing things in his hometown, Zhang Man found a love letter in a physics book, signed by Li Wei.
He wrote in it: "Human's cognition of the universe is like the light of firefly in the boundless darkness. There are so many unknowns that we can't see or touch. I want to get closer to that piece. Unknown, feel the darkness. Zhang Man, are you willing to accompany me?"
Only then did she know that he really liked her back then, just as she liked him.
That paranoid and lonely genius boy actually had a gentle side. He reached out to her so carefully, wanting to give her all his tenderness and sincerity.
It was because she failed to keep the tenderness in his eyes well, which made him choose to run into the darkness forever.
If, if I could go back to the year...