- He flexed his knuckles again, and turned to rub her cheek affectionately with the back of his hand, and rubbed again the next second, as if he was reluctant to leave.
. …
It wasn't until the two walked to the door of the hospital that Zhang Man came back to his senses, so he blushed shamefully. Even in his previous life, he seldom acted so intimately with her. The only hug she remembered was because she almost fell, and he just hugged her and didn't let go.
Such an active and intimate touch made her heart pound.
She couldn't help covering her cheeks that were flushed by his pinching, her heart was numb, he... What does this mean
The boy didn't speak, he kept walking in front of her, and she couldn't see his expression.
She quickly followed, and when she reached the intersection, she remembered the main business of coming to this hospital today.
"Li Wei, I'm going to see a relative in the inpatient department in a while, you should go home first."
The boy looked back at her, although his face was still expressionless, but his eyes filled with a warm red sunset. He was wearing a clean, pure white T-shirt with a sunset behind him. The orange-tinged sunlight blurred the lines of his whole person, with a soft temperature.
He looked at her and slightly curved the corners of his lips: "Well, call me if you have anything."
Saying that, he turned to leave.
"Wait...", Zhang Man grabbed the corner of the boy's clothes—
"You... just... what do you mean?"
The voice was getting smaller and smaller, and the last word was almost inaudible. She was annoyed in her heart... It was too impulsive.
"You said just now...?" The boy turned around with a questioning face, stretched out his left hand, spread his thumb and index finger, and gestured a pinching motion in the air.
Zhang Man's face flushed red.
- "You have ashes on your face, and it didn't come off after rubbing it twice, but don't worry, it came off after the third rub."
His expression was very serious, and he nodded to her in double affirmation, as if he was treating a physics problem with rigor.
Zhang Man: "…"
. …
When Li Wei was sent away, she returned to the hospital.
Before she came, she checked it on the Internet. The psychiatry department of this hospital in N city is very famous in the province, especially there are several experts and professors from overseas returnees.
Psychiatry is different from internal medicine and surgery. There are not many people who see the doctor. She hung up the specialist number downstairs and waited for more than ten minutes before being called.
The expert she registered is a female doctor, about thirty years old and very young, but according to what Zhang Man found on the Internet, she had spent seven or eight years in the United States studying for a doctoral and post-doctorate in schizophrenia. With a lot of clinical experience and academic accumulation, he has a very old qualification in psychiatry.
"Little girl, what's your problem?"
The female doctor's smile is very gentle, her temperament is like water, and she is very tolerant when she speaks, which makes people want to express their hearts involuntarily.
Zhang Man sat down opposite her: "Doctor, it's not my problem, it's my friend. He has a very serious paranoia, and he doesn't realize it at all. What should I do in such a situation?"
The doctor asked her about Li Wei's specific situation again, and took notes carefully.
After about half an hour, the doctor gave some advice.
"According to the statistical analysis of psychiatric clinical data, delusions like his are very rare. There are two causes, the main reason is hereditary brain damage, that is, hereditary schizophrenia. And the delusions he presented are also External triggers, such as childhood misfortune, almost autistic social status, and withdrawn personality. For example, people who have been in the desert for a long time will have the illusion of seeing an oasis.”
"That's right, according to your description, apart from delusional symptoms, your friend has not lost his sense of reason and interest, and has not suffered from paranoia, mania, depression, etc., and has not affected his normal study and life. The current drug treatment is in The clinical effect on delusional patients is not significant, and given that your friend is still in high school, taking very targeted drugs will cause some damage to his memory and understanding."
"Furthermore, you mentioned that he was unaware that he was suffering from delusional disorder. Such a disease with very strong psychological factors, if rashly treated, would lead to strong psychological resistance in the patient and cause more serious mental damage. So My current advice is, don't take medication yet."
"However, you must always pay attention to observe his condition. If it affects his study, life, or has corresponding depression symptoms, please take him to the hospital. Before that, I hope friends and classmates can give full tolerance and compassion. With guidance, let him feel the warmth in real life, and over time, his loneliness and trauma will gradually fade away, and perhaps his symptoms will also be alleviated."
The doctor's description was very detailed, which gave her a more complete understanding of Li Wei's entire condition. She did not blindly prescribe medicine to the patient, but made an appropriate judgment based on his own situation.
Zhang Man returned home and lay on the bed to organize his thoughts.
In fact, what the doctor said is generally consistent with the information she checked before. That is to say, drug treatment is really not recommended at this stage. After one day he can recognize his mental illness, it will not be too late to take drug treatment to suppress it. .
However, the doctor's words also opened up a new idea for her. She was thinking about how to treat his paranoia, but now she suddenly has another idea.
Li Wei's paranoia is most likely because he has suffered too many blows and changes in real life. A person grows up to sixteen or seventeen years old, but he has never felt the warmth and kindness of the world, so his paranoia is actually self-protection for himself.
So does it mean that if she can give him more warmth, let him feel that there are people who love him deeply in real life, care about him all the time, and think about him, will it not happen naturally? What about those delusions
She made up her mind in her heart that she must be nice to him every day. If he wanted it, even if it was a star in the sky, she wanted to give it to him.
As long as he doesn't lose him suddenly and forever one day like in his previous life, he will fall into a boundless nightmare from now on.
. …
In the following days, Zhang Man did not go to Li Wei's house to make up lessons, but stayed at home to practice the National Day extravaganza.
She practiced day and night every day, and Zhang Huifang was alarmed when she practiced more than once.
Zhang Huifang asked casually, and she was shocked when she knew that she was going to perform on stage.
"Zhang Man, you don't have a fever, do you? I remember when you were in junior high school, my friend came to your house and asked you to play a song in public, but you didn't want to. Going on stage? Didn't you say it's harder than killing you?"
Zhang Man has always been a stubborn person. He is stubborn and doesn't know who to follow. If he doesn't want to, others will not agree to death. She is taciturn and does not like to be in the limelight. She can't wait to hide herself in the crowd, and she has no sense of existence at all.
Zhang Huifang also had a headache about this before. How could she be such a flamboyant person, how could she give birth to such a stuffy gourd.
Zhang Man didn't tell her the truth: "It's nothing, there is no one in the class."
Zhang Huifang snorted, and sat on the sofa with Erlang's legs crossed, picking at the nails he had done two days ago: "Just like you, you are the only one left on the earth, and you have nothing to do with yourself. It's your turn to save someone who is missing? Who are you lying to? Tell me, are you in love?"
Zhang Man is a little speechless. As expected of someone who has been in love so many times, her mind is sharp: "No talk."
Zhang Huifang obviously didn't believe it, and blew the broken hair between her forehead that blocked her view: "If you don't say pull it down, I'm too lazy to care about you."
During this time, Zhang Huifang went out quite often, but she didn't hear about her new relationship, so she probably hadn't met the scumbag Zheng Zhi.
Zhang Man remembers that her last relationship should have just ended for three months. The other party's name is Xu Shang, who runs a 4S store. When the two are together, he is almost obedient to Zhang Huifang.
When she broke up with him, Zhang Man was still a little puzzled, but when she asked her, she only said that the two had different personalities.
Zhang Man didn't believe it, thinking that Zhang Huifang must be tired again.
Over the years, she has changed boyfriends one after another, and every time she says that her personality is inconsistent, or her life style is inconsistent, and her three views are inconsistent, but Zhang Man thinks that a love-oriented person like her must have fallen into a certain moment. Love is in full swing, but at a certain moment, it gets bored again, so there is no way to deal with it, and it kicks people.
She has always turned a blind eye to her messy things, as long as it doesn't affect her own life, she is too lazy to care.
In the evening, Zhang Man practiced the piano and felt pain in his fingertips, so he had to temporarily stop practicing and lay down on the bed to rest.
Zhang Huifang knocked on her door and stuffed her a skirt.
"Zhang Man, aren't you going to perform on stage? I used to wear this skirt a lot. It's my shirt. I'll pass it on to you, and I'm sure you will be the focus of the audience."
Zhang Man held the skirt with two fingers, shook it away gently, looked at the meager fabric, and raised his eyebrows.
I've never heard of a mother who would let her underage daughter wear this kind of clothes.
When Zhang Huifang saw that it was this one after she unfolded it, she was stunned for a moment, and then immediately grabbed it back with an embarrassed expression: "I got it wrong, I got it wrong, wait a minute."
As she said that, she went back to her room and turned around for a while, and found another dress, the same color as the one just now.
Zhang Man took a closer look and saw that the modern and improved black cheongsam had just the right waist design, delicate buckles, and high slits at the hem until the middle of the thigh.
Although it is a cheongsam style, the whole design is very modern, it seems that the chaebol lady who advocated Western culture during the Republic of China would wear it, and it will not violate the English song she wants to sing.
All in all, it's a very elegant dress. He should... also think it looks good, right
So Zhang Man accepted it unceremoniously.
Tomorrow is the seventh, she turned on her phone and sent a text message to Li Wei.
"The National Day extravaganza tomorrow afternoon, remember."
- I will wait for you to come.
She still had so much to say, she didn't dare to tell him directly, she wanted to sing it to him.
She turned off her phone and stood by the window, suddenly remembering that he said seriously that day, to help her brush the dust off her face.
Zhang Man couldn't help but chuckle and shook his head helplessly. He is such a person, seeking truth from facts, how can he have so many crooked thoughts.
But she is different from others. He is willing to buy a mobile phone for her, step out of the narrow and autistic life circle, and is willing to reach out and wipe the dust from her cheek.
In his heart, she was different after all.
It would be great if he could always be free from pain and depression and go on like this. The two of them have lived in such a bland way for a lifetime, and one day, he will realize that he likes her.
Whether it was him who was a little green when he was young, who was high-spirited when he was middle-aged, or who was white-haired, deep and wise, she wanted to be with him all the time.
And don't stop abruptly at his best age.