Winter, snowy night, seaside.
In the heavy snow, Zhang Man hugged the boy she loved tightly.
The waves crashed against the rocks and sand, the wind whistled, and the snow fell silently on the ground, in the sea, and many more, on the faces and bodies of the two of them.
The extremely low temperature made Zhang Man get goosebumps all over. The boy's icy embrace couldn't give her any warmth at this time, but she tried her best not to tremble.
She could only feel his uncontrollable trembling and choking in peace.
Perhaps the hardest step, she thought, was over.
Under the extremely severe mental blow, people will start to lose their minds, just like Li Wei just now, he can't distinguish what is reality and what is false. If there is no one to wake him up at this time, the collapse of the worldview will cause a huge and irreversible blow to his spirit.
But Zhang Man is not optimistic.
Even if he knew that the world was real, it was still too much of a blow for him.
No one wants to admit that he is really a "crazy". He used to pay no attention to what other people said because he didn't think he was. He felt that they had misunderstood him.
How sure he was in the past, at this moment, after learning the truth, how deep is the panic in his heart.
What's more, he lost two of the most important "relatives" in his life in an instant.
Pain is always graded.
Zhang Man thought that at this moment in his heart, he must be experiencing a heart-wrenching pain that she could not imagine.
…
After the two finally returned home, the boy seemed to be calmer than before, but he still didn't speak.
Their hair and clothes had long been wet from the rain and snow, and their shoes were soaked by the waves on the beach, as if they had just been fished out of the sea.
Zhang Man led him in, pressed him on his shoulders and let him sit on the large sofa in the living room, and went to the bathroom to boil hot water for him. But as soon as she took two steps, the boy followed.
Like a lonely shadow, it can only follow its master.
"Li Wei, go to the sofa and sit for a while. I'll plug in the water heater. We all have to take a hot shower, otherwise we'll catch a cold."
The boy reached out and pulled her sleeve, looked at her, shook his head without speaking, and looked at her stubbornly with dark eyes.
Zhang Man's heart softened almost immediately.
She really had nothing to do with him.
"Okay, then you stand by and look at me, okay?"
The boy nodded and took her hand.
When the hot water was boiled, Zhang Man pushed him in to take a shower, but he was not happy again.
Zhang Man laughed softly and teased him: "Can't we both wash together? If you want, I'll be fine."
"Manman."
The young man's voice was too hoarse, different from the deep and pleasant hoarseness of the peace and sulfur. At this moment, his voice had an indescribable burning sensation, as if he had taken a sip of sulfuric acid.
"Will you stay with me in there? You stand by and accompany me... I don't want to be alone."
He never wanted to, alone.
Zhang Man looked at him. He was a confident and confident teenager. He seemed to have never been so confused and helpless.
Her heart was filled with delicate soreness, and she had to compromise.
Fortunately, in the bathroom of his house, there is a separate shower room, and a waterproof shower curtain is hung inside the glass door. After closing it, she sits at the door and can't see anything.
The boy's mood was obviously extremely anxious.
He called her name almost every half minute to make sure she was out.
Zhang Man had no choice but to sing softly outside.
Her mind was also very messy, and she couldn't remember too many lyrics at all.
Fortunately it does work.
When the boy came out of the shower, she also went in to take a shower. Like her, the teenager moved a small bench and sat at the door of the shower room to wait for her.
He sat upright, staring at the snow-white tiles on the bathroom wall, wondering what he was thinking.
The two were separated by a glass door and a shower curtain. One was wearing a bathrobe and the other was showering with nothing on, but without any distractions or desires, like two old friends, singing and talking. .
Zhang Man sang, trying his best to keep his voice from trembling, but still burst into tears under the hot water.
The boy she loves has endured too much pain at his age.
She didn't know how to soothe the deep ravine-like scars in his heart. She didn't know how to love him in order to fill his boundless loneliness.
It seems that no matter how to love, it is not enough.
She suddenly felt her own insignificance.
Compared with this world, time, and fate, her power is so small. She used to think that she didn't have many advantages, but the advantage was that she was stubborn.
She originally thought that if he could not do it in one year, five years, five years, or ten years, she could always let him escape his fate in a safe and secure way.
But what happened today was also a huge blow to her.
Whether it's the old grandmother who still lost her granddaughter, or the man who still discovered his paranoia.
Only then did she realize that she was actually incapable of completely fighting against fate.
Zhang Man wiped away the water and tears on his face, and kept comforting himself in his heart, no matter what, no matter what the outcome is, as long as she loves him, he loves her too, which is always better than the previous life.
Both of them had finished packing, and it was past eight o'clock in the evening. Zhang Man couldn't worry about Li Wei, so he called Zhang Huifang, or made a poison oath to make her agree that she will live with Li Wei tonight.
She took the boy's hand and pulled him into the bedroom.
The young man lowered his eyes, and because he had just washed his hair, the slightly long hair on his forehead blocked his eyes. He hasn't spoken much, but he looks calm and well behaved.
Li Wei's room was very empty, and one of the huge soft beds was very eye-catching.
Both of them were wearing bathrobes. Zhang Man pulled the boy, sat on the bed, and asked him softly, "Boyfriend, can you find a dress for me to wear to sleep?"
Her own clothes were soaking wet.
The teenager nodded, pointed to the wardrobe, and motioned for her to take it herself.
Zhang Man opened the wooden wardrobe that was almost as wide as the wall beside the bed.
He didn't have many clothes, and the wardrobe seemed a little empty, but each of the clothes was neatly folded according to the material and style.
Zhang Man picked out one of his long T-shirts, which was more than enough for her height as a skirt.
She wanted to go to the bathroom to change clothes, but as soon as she took two steps, the teenager nervously stood up from the bed and grabbed the sleeve of her bathrobe.
She looked at his stubborn eyes and sighed slightly in her heart.
He looks like a fragile child at the moment.
"Then, can you close your eyes? I'll change it in the room."
The boy nodded and sat on the head of the bed with his eyes closed.
To reassure her, he turned his head away.
But his hand still tugged at the sleeve of her bathrobe.
Zhang Man smiled helplessly: "... If you don't let go, how can I change my clothes?"
He just let go.
Zhang Man quickly changed his clothes and breathed a sigh of relief.
Even if he closed his eyes, he was right in front of her after all - she was really, a little uncomfortable.
She took out another set of his pajamas from the closet: "Okay, I've changed, and you'll change too. Shall we sleep?"
The boy didn't say a word, took the pajamas, and reached out to take off the bathrobe.
Zhang Man immediately closed his eyes.
You can't take advantage of him at this time.
She listened to the sound of his changing clothes, and opened her eyes only when the sound stopped.
"Hey, boyfriend, let's go to sleep, shall we?"
"… Um."
The boy reached out to hold her again.
Zhang Man sat on the head of the bed with him, lifted the quilt to lie down, and made room for him.
After he also lay down peacefully, she reached out and dimmed the lights in the room - only the one by the bed was left. She thought, tonight, he should not want to turn off the lights.
The house was soundproofed very well, although it was snowstorm outside, but there was peace in the room.
It was peaceful, as if nothing had happened.
The world is like this. The misery and misfortune that happen to everyone has no impact on this huge planet.
Zhang Man turned sideways and leaned into the boy's arms.
She felt her tears, silently soaking the sheets under her cheeks—it collapsed all night, and in such a dim hour, she finally couldn't hold back her tears.
"Manman..."
The boy suddenly reached out and hugged her tightly.
She heard his painfully suppressed gasps.
"Manman... They all left me, I only have you... Don't leave me, okay?"
The coldness of the winter night came through the wall, then penetrated his chest, and the stinging pain spread throughout his internal organs.
At this moment, he can only feel a trace of warmth by holding her tightly - it will not freeze into ice.
"I won't leave you, I will always be with you, forever."
Zhang Man didn't know how to comfort him, so he could only reassure him softly in his ear over and over again.
Forever...why.
The boy calmed down a bit.
He thought, he can't deceive her so selfishly, she has the right to know everything, and then make a choice.
"You know what? Janet is really gentle."
His voice was hoarse, like rough sand in a stream.
"She immigrated to Canada when I was very young, but comes back to see me a few times a year."
"When I first arrived at the orphanage as a child, I was very unaccustomed to living there. But suddenly one day, she came back. She waved at me from the fence outside. I sneaked out through the side door of the orphanage, and she was far away. , opened his arms to catch me, and said to me: 'Baby, long time no see.'"
"Like you, Manman, she is a gentle and beautiful person."
"She took me to climb the mountain near the orphanage to see the red leaves all over the mountain. When I was tired of climbing the mountain, she sat on the top of the mountain, let me lie on her lap, and sang a gentle sleep song to lull me to sleep."
He said and smiled: "I still remember that time, when I fell on the mountain and came back in dismay, I was scolded for a long time by the aunt who was in charge of washing clothes in the courtyard."
"And Nick."
"Nick's memory seems to be older. When I was in elementary school, I was so bored, so I dug out the leftover middle and high school physics textbooks used by others from the small library of the welfare home. Do you have any questions? Write down the meeting place and communicate with Nick every month or two.”
"He would refute me when I was wrong, and he would praise me generously when I got the right answer."
"When you came that day, he said, Li Wei, is this girl your girlfriend? She's beautiful."
He recalled the only warmth he had left over the years, and the corners of his lips curved uncontrollably.
But the next second, after remembering that it was all illusory, he held his head in pain: "But you know what? I suddenly can't remember their faces today. Two people who are so important to me. , actually does not exist. It turns out that I have no relatives and no friends, they are all I imagined. I have been for so many years... I have been so many years... "
He said, his voice a little choked.
"Manman, I can't accept it."