Zhang Man was at the airport that day and stayed until the night fell.
She sat blankly on the cold seat in the waiting hall, not knowing what she was waiting for.
Surrounded by travelers in a hurry, there are parents who take their children on a trip, there are international students who return to China for the New Year, and there are office workers who travel from south to north on business...
Not one is him.
While she was looking for it, she began to recall constantly in her mind.
Time flies so fast, and fate is caught off guard.
Just two days ago, she couldn't wait to get off the bus and fell into his arms. He tricked her into picking up papers, put her under the small desk, and kissed her eagerly.
After watching the sea that day, he took her downstairs and called her name.
She asked him if he hated her.
He didn't answer.
At that time, did he miss her? Why didn't she find out
Zhang Man tugged at his hair regretfully, his heart numb uncomfortably.
…
The winter vacation started, but she couldn't sleep anymore.
Nightmare after nightmare, like in the previous life - when he closed his eyes, it was his blood and pale face.
One day, two days... She kept calling Li Wei's cell phone every day, hoping that he would turn it on. She hoped in her heart that maybe he would think of her in the middle of the night, in a strange place, and open his phone to see if there was any news from her.
But he didn't, he never turned it on.
He didn't want her to find him.
Zhang Man didn't dare to think about what would happen when he was alone, so forty-eight hours later, she chose to call the police and emphasized Li Wei's very serious depression.
Unfortunately, after the police heard her account, they immediately adjusted the hospital's information. The examination results showed that Li Wei did not suffer from depression, not to mention that there was no suicide in the email he sent to Zhang Man, but he actively stated that he would go abroad for treatment.
So no matter what Zhang Man said, they didn't believe her, thinking that it was just a couple quarreling, and the little girl wanted to find a boyfriend.
It was the end of the year, not to mention that there was another human trafficker group in N city some time ago, and the police were so busy that it was impossible to mobilize manpower and material resources to find someone.
Zhang Man retreated and asked them to check Li Wei's ticket or train ticket purchase records.
The purchase of train tickets and air tickets requires real-name authentication, which can be found by the police station after adjusting the records.
Several police officers couldn't meet her pleas, so they transferred her records.
Strangely, there is no record.
According to the data, within six months, Li Wei did not have any travel records by plane or train.
Did he go there by long-distance bus
Zhang Manhun returned home reluctantly.
She ran out every day for the past two days, and when she got home, she locked herself in the room. Even Zhang Huifang noticed this abnormality.
"Zhang Man, what's the matter? Quarrel with your little boyfriend?"
Zhang Huifang sat beside her bed and patted her head.
Zhang Man's expression in the past two days is really wrong. He takes two bites of whatever he eats every day, and his small face quickly loses weight and pales.
She has scolded Li Wei a thousand times in her heart: "Did that stinky boy make you cry? You tell your mother me, and I will let him teach him a lesson."
No matter how strong and stubborn people are, they will collapse in such endless anxious search and waiting.
Zhang Man suddenly couldn't hold back anymore.
She hugged Zhang Huifang's shoulder and burst into tears.
No one can tell the pain and worry in her heart, what should she say
No one would believe her, not even the police.
No one has experienced past lives like her, and no one knows that Li Wei finally chose to commit suicide.
No one would believe that he was in an extremely dangerous state right now.
Zhang Huifang suddenly cried when she saw her, and she was at a loss: "Manman, don't cry. Mom is here. Mom will take care of you if you have something to do."
Seeing her cry like this is the first time since she was in elementary school, right? She still remembered that when Zhang Man was a child, once she got into trouble at school and was called as a parent. She hurried over and was blushing when the teacher said, this child is good, standing by the side and looking down at the ground, it has nothing to do with her hanging up high.
She had never seen anything wrong with her, she would take it so seriously.
She felt a "squeak" in her heart, and suddenly thought of something very bad.
She won't, is she the same as she was
Zhang Huifang gritted her teeth and patted Zhang Man's back, trying to make her voice as gentle as possible: "Man Man, don't cry, tell mom if you have anything, and mom can help you find a way."
She squinted her eyes as she spoke, her teeth tickling with regret.
That day, Zhang Man shouldn't have promised to spend the night at that stinky boy's house!
Maybe the day they go to Z city...
She blamed herself infinitely in her heart, how could she believe her nonsense, two young people with vigor and vitality were in the same room, and they knew what would happen with their toes.
Although she was upset in her heart, something had already happened, and she still had to try her best to treat it as nothing.
So Zhang Huifang tried her best to adjust her mentality, and pretended to be relaxed to comfort her: "Manman, you heard from my mother that medicine is much more developed now than my mother was at that time. It won't affect your future."
Zhang Man burst into tears, and suddenly felt wrong.
She raised her head and looked at Zhang Huifang with her mouth open, a little speechless.
This mother, she is really invincible...
"Mom, where do you want to go... I didn't go to bed, I wasn't pregnant, I didn't need an abortion."
Zhang Huifang was stunned after hearing this, her mood instantly became brighter, and her voice became cheerful: "There's nothing to be afraid of, other things are not a problem. If it's not good for you, just break up, why are you crying, dead girl, nothing to do , you don't have the guts of your mother at all."
"Mom... I can't find him."
"He left me, and I can't find her."
Zhang Man's voice was hoarse and choked, and wearily lay on her shoulders and sobbed. She felt a deep sense of powerlessness churning inside her.
She is so tired.
It's really exhausting trying to find someone.
Unexpectedly, Zhang Huifang was shocked when she heard her words.
After being silent for a long time, she put her arms around Zhang Man's shoulder and said firmly: "If you can't find it, don't look for it, and treat him as dead."
When he… died.
Will he die
Hearing this, Zhang Man cried even more.
"Mom, you don't understand, I must find him."
If she didn't find him, what if he really died
So what should she do
Zhang Huifang patted her on the shoulder, and her voice carried a helplessness that she did not usually have: "Zhang Man, if some people want to avoid you, you may never find him for the rest of your life."
She sighed.
There were a lot of things that she didn't want to recall in her entire life. Life is like this, not everything can be relieved, not all injuries can be sat down face-to-face and reconciled calmly.
Some things, a brand, a scar is a lifetime, if you don't hide it deeply, it will bleed.
After another long silence, Zhang Huifang said softly, "Just like your biological father."
She said it, and suddenly heaved a sigh of relief.
It's like letting go of the heavy burden of a lifetime.
Zhang Man suddenly heard her say this, restrained himself and stopped sobbing.
Unexpectedly, Zhang Huifang actually mentioned her biological father to her in this life.
She thought she would never talk about it.
Zhang Huifang was silent for a while, as if recalling the old things that she had hidden for more than ten years.
"I met your father when I was seventeen or eighteen. He was the man of the year in our school. He was handsome, good grades, and rich. But when we were in our second year of high school, he didn't come to school for a long time. When the news came out, we learned that he was sick."
"Your mother and me, I have always liked him at the time. Knowing that he was sick, I was anxious. So I sneaked into his house and threw pebbles at his window."
"It was only when I saw him that I found out that he had leukemia, and it was in a late stage. In our era, unlike now, there was no cure at all, and it was just lying at home waiting to die."
She said and smiled.
"I was immersed in love at that time, how could I be afraid. I was not afraid, I thought, I must accompany him to the end, and I want him to leave the best memory of this world before he dies."
Speaking of which, Zhang Huifang paused for a long time.
It's just too difficult to uncover with your own hands the most unspeakable things about yourself.
"He was also moved by me, so I gave myself to him."
"But suddenly one day, he disappeared, and the whole family disappeared. I couldn't find him. For a while, I even thought he was dead, and I cried like a tearful man every day."
"Later, I heard people say that it turned out that the hospital's examination was wrong, and it was someone else who was sick, not him. And he immigrated with his parents and went to the United States."
"After a long time, I found out that I have you. When I was young, I was anemic, thin, and had irregular menstruation. When I was pregnant, the month was already big, and it was not easy to have an abortion. I could only give birth to you, and there was no book. I forgot."
"Zhang Man, your mother, I have been a joke all my life."
After recalling it with difficulty, she sighed heavily: "So, if some people are willing to disappear, you can let them disappear, don't waste that time and time to find him, a person who voluntarily hides, you can't find him. to him."
Zhang Man's heart was shocked.
The truth turned out to be so absurd, unthinkable, and so sad.
No wonder she never mentioned it.
Zhang Man felt a little distressed, she buried her head on her shoulder, but couldn't say anything to comfort her.
Perhaps, after so many years, what she needs is not comfort.
Since she had just cried, her voice was a little grumpy: "Mom, then... what happened later? Haven't you thought about asking him for an explanation?"
Zhang Huifang shook her head.
"It's too far, Manman. More than ten years ago, the United States was too far for me, who had never been out of N city. It was impossible for me to find him. I told him the news through a few classmates. , but he didn't respond, and later I heard that he got married there and had his own child."
Zhang Huifang said and sighed: "It's impossible now. I heard from a classmate who knew him that he died in a car accident in the United States two years ago."
Zhang Man's heart twitched when he heard this.
She felt cold and worthless for Zhang Huifang. She never thought that her biological father would be such a selfish, cowardly, and irresponsible person.
"Do you hate him?"
"Of course I hated it. But I don't hate him anymore. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have you. Manman, mother gave birth to you, and I didn't regret it. So, don't cry for a stinky man now, cheer up. Come."
After listening, Zhang Man shook his head.
The boy she loves is completely different from her cowardly father.
He is such a good, such a good person.
When he is with her, he will take care of her in every possible way, and he can pet her infinitely under limited conditions.
He likes her, relies on her, and respects her.
On the first day they lived together, he would rather sleep on the floor than touch her, and even if he slept next to her later, he would never go out of his way.
Every time he hugs her and kisses her, she can feel his restraint and forbearance.
This young man, he really used his whole heart to treat her. He looked at her with admiration, respect, and pity in his eyes.
He even tried his best to leave her out of fear of hurting her.
Zhang Man suddenly had the desire to talk.
She omitted her rebirth, and told Zhang Huifang of various things between her and Li Wei, including his tragic life experience, his mental illness, and his depression, and the reason why he left her.
She thought, if it were her, maybe she would understand.
After Zhang Huifang heard this, she took a deep breath.
I didn't expect that the quiet and well-behaved boy had experienced so many misfortunes. And listening to Zhang Man's remarks, he seems to really like Zhang Man very much.
If she listened to other people's stories, she would definitely inspire her at this moment, and hurry to find him back.
But when the words came to his mouth, he stopped again.
Everyone has selfishness, not to mention she is her daughter.
"... Manman, have you really figured it out? If you find him, do you plan to spend the rest of your life with him? You are still young, and you don't know what a lifetime is. You will have a hard time with someone like him. ."
Hearing this, Zhang Man was in a trance and burst into tears.
She was not with him in the previous life. Wasn't it hard for her to live in that life
She was crying, telling the truth.
"Mom, I only know that if I lose him, I will be very hard. Maybe I will never have any happiness in this life."
Zhang Huifang hugged her and sighed.
She has been pursuing pure love since she was young.
But she was destined to not get it in her life, and she took the wrong path from the very beginning.
She thought, if Zhang Man really felt that he was indispensable, what else could she say
"Manman, at this age, my mother just wants to live a peaceful life, with you, and your Uncle Xu."
She continued: "But you are still young. If you really want to try, your mother will support you. If you are tired one day, just come back."