- "Li Wei, you and I have known each other for so long, but you don't know me at all."
The young man was stunned after hearing this, and then became anxious.
How could he not know her
Her every move, every detail of her life, every smile and tear of hers, he had to recall back and forth over and over again during these nights.
Only in this way can we keep on living.
He knew that her taste was on the spicy side, and she preferred stir-fried seafood to steamed ones. She loves the sea and beach at dusk, and every time she sees it, she sighs with joy.
When she did her homework, she used to frown, and she would number each formula, neatly row after row.
She likes to sing and listen to songs. Her favorite is the slow rocking of the British countryside in the last century. She always listens to it when she is doing her homework seriously.
She usually doesn't like to laugh, but she likes to smile at him.
When she was sad, she was used to squatting on the ground, burying her head in her knees and crying, very much like a shivering kitten abandoned by her owner.
she…
She wanted to argue too much, but was knocked down by her words.
Broken down.
"Li Wei, you don't know me at all, you don't know how much I like you."
"You have no idea how important you are in my life."
The heavy heart that has been brewing in my heart for so many years, finally said it this winter, this night when I reunited with him.
Zhang Man suddenly remembered that except the day he confessed to her, she never seemed to have said that she liked him.
Before they were together, she had been worried about his mental state, afraid of stimulating him, afraid that he would be suspicious, so she could only carefully restrain her feelings.
After being together, I indulge in the joy of love every day. As long as I am with him, I will forget everything, let alone express it. She is used to being dull, and expressing her feelings has always been an obstacle for her.
But not saying it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
She likes him so so much.
Her love for him, after so many years, has long since become a part of her body and life, firmly imprinted in her mind, flowing in her blood, and buried in her heartbeat.
In fact, it has long been more than just the two simple words "like".
Blame her, perhaps because she gave him the illusion that she would be better off without him.
how can that be possible.
She put her hands on the boy's shoulders and stared at him firmly and tenderly.
"Boyfriend, I like you a thousand times, ten thousand times more than you think."
After listening to her words, the boy's body trembled fiercely.
Even if he was still struggling and worried, he couldn't stop the ecstasy overflowing his whole heart.
His Manman said that she liked him thousands of times more than he thought.
He clearly thought that as long as she liked him a little bit, or as long as she could accept that he liked him upright and open, she had won the jackpot.
Zhang Man curled the corners of his lips.
Silent night, huge house, two people leaning on each other.
Many things can only be said in such a safe situation.
Her voice was gentle, and she said something she had never told anyone for so many years.
"I remember that after you accompanied me to Uncle Xu's house that day, you asked me how my mother and I lived together since we were young."
"I didn't say anything then, I'll tell you now."
"Actually, before I met you, I wasn't such a person at all."
"When my mother gave birth to me, she was too young. She couldn't take care of herself well, so how could she take care of me attentively."
"I don't have a father. When I was in elementary school, the teacher asked everyone to write an essay. The title was "My Father". It should be that all elementary school students have written essays on this subject."
"You know what? I made up one, and I forgot what occupation I made up. It seems to be a firefighter or a doctor."
"I was afraid of being different from others, afraid that the teacher would ask me in public, and even more afraid that others would sympathize with me and notice me because of my differences."
"I'm not adventurous, and I don't like freshness. I've been living in my own small comfort zone, unable to go out, and I don't want to go out."
"I don't chase stars, and I don't like to talk with girls about which boy is handsome in the class and which boy is humorous. Gossip and topics have never been related to me."
"I'm not like you. I was excluded from childhood for some reasons, but I never fit in. Except for Chen Fei'er, my relationship with everyone is very weak. Everyone has a small group, but I'm used to it. It's good to have only one or two friends by your side."
"I'm the 'autistic child' that my mother's friends call me who never says a word. When I was a child, my mother sang in a bar, and I sat under the stage and watched, often thinking, why are my mother and I so different? ."
"She is on the stage, like the brightest star, and I, I don't want to hide myself in the crowd all the time, don't show any limelight, don't let anyone notice me, as long as someone's eyes swept over me, My hairs stand on end and I get restless."
"Do you still remember the National Day extravaganza that just started last semester? Chen Feier told me that you guys may all like girls who are versatile. I also asked you if you like guitars, and you said you do. So, in order to please you, I bite the bullet and sign up, but you don't know. On the day of the actual performance, the spotlight hit me in the face, and when I looked at the crowd of people in the audience, my hand holding the guitar was shaking. It's a pity, you It didn't come that day."
When she said this, she pouted and glared at him.
Although she finally sang to him on the beach, but he didn't come, she was really a little disappointed that day.
The boy hugged her tightly, kissed her cheek quickly and guiltily, and continued to listen to her.
"Also, I didn't like physics before, but I know that what you love most is physics. Every time you talk about physics, your eyes are filled with stars and the vast universe. Slowly, I also like it. This simple and powerful discipline.”
Even when she was in college in her previous life, she resolutely chose this major that she was not really good at.
"Chen Fei'er always said that when she grows up, she will go to wander around the world to make a living, to experience the beauty of every corner of the world. But I never thought about it, I even thought at the time, I can walk So far, how tiring, why don't you stay at home and watch the drama, you don't have to worry about the accidents you encounter during the trip, and you don't have to worry about planning, where to go today, where to go tomorrow."
"But after being with you, I will think from time to time, when we have time in the future, we must go to see Jiangnan in the drizzle, and the lakeside Baikal where even the spring breeze is intoxicated. I want to go to see the mud with you. On the sandy Loess Plateau, I want to walk with you by the Seine River, lean on the railing and kiss when I am tired. I heard that many couples will kiss there.”
"So, boyfriend, after I met you, I almost changed a person, something I have never experienced, love. Well, when I met you, I began to be full of curiosity and love for the world."
"The day you left me, I started thinking of you."
"This miss and pain has not faded in the slightest because of time, but has intensified."
"Can you believe it, if I can't find you in my life, maybe decades later, when I become a little old lady, I will still be alone, hiding in a narrow comfort zone, living a mediocre and boring life. A life like that is dull and boring, to the point of terrifying mediocrity."
Just like the previous life.
This is her.
There has never been vigorous joy and depression, only ordinary and ordinary, hiding in a safe and hard shell all her life, outsiders seem very normal, only she knows that she is actually incompatible with this world.
But this emotion is not to the level of torture, it will not stimulate her nerves to the point of not wanting to live, but everything in life seems to be tasteless to her.
Only him.
Only him is the most special thing in her ordinary life.
He is the throbbing and sweetness of her midnight dream, the long-awaited longing in her heart, the beating heart and the hot blood flowing.
Loving the right person can make a huge positive change in yourself.
How could he not understand.
She has to make him understand.
She knew that he was full of doubts about the world now, and she knew that he might be so depressed that he even doubted the meaning of his life.
She had to make him understand.
Zhang Man raised his head, with tears in his eyes, and kissed the corner of his lips.
- "Boyfriend, don't belittle yourself and don't doubt your worth. To me, you are my whole world."