Refraction

Chapter 31

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Chen Gong's style of doing things has always been vigorous and resolute. After an appointment to get off work the next day, he went to his friend's studio with Cheng Shen.

"I really like him, but I don't plan to fall in love with him." - Chen Gong said so.

Cheng Shen thought simply: "But Zheng Jian is not straight! Brother Chen, your conditions are also good. If you want to pursue it, there must be drama - or does he already have a partner?"

"He didn't."

Program problem-solving idea: "If you don't have it, chase it! - Why don't you chase him and get the same tattoo as him?"

Chen Gong was stunned by Cheng Shen's question. He couldn't think of an answer, so he didn't answer the upright young man again.

Lying there, listening to the whizzing of the tattoo machine, and feeling the tiny pain in his lower abdomen, Chen Gong felt that he was ridiculous.

There was a movie, I forgot what it was called, but Chen Gong only remembered a small supporting role in it - a little hooligan with a weak head. His love life was rough, but he was always enthusiastic. Every time he fell in love with a girl, he had to tattoo her name on his back; so much so that the tattoo artist had to work hard to design a new pattern for him every time, so that the latter would cover the former.

The laughing point design is that the little hooligan's love road is really not smooth. After changing seven or eight lovers, the name on the back has become huge.

The close-up picture caused laughter in the audience, and Chen Gong laughed along with him—Chen Gong was mocking.

When I was young, I loved passionately and clumsily, and I always felt that romance was "imprinting you in my soul". But it is because of clumsiness, so the cost of falling in love is like a snowball, getting bigger and bigger.

Feeling sad again, Chen Gong felt that he was just like himself and deserved it.

At several junctures, Chen Gong couldn't resist the buzzing voice in his head (probably the cry of the readers of "Refraction" penetrating the dimension)... I had an urge to go and say to Zheng Yi: Let's be together !

But this impulse often germinates abruptly and ends quickly.

The little girl in the department labelled Chen Gong behind his back - [Director of the Abstinence Department], Chen Gong knew what it meant and smiled.

Surviving through the dark concrete forest, who has not been chased by loneliness to a cramped corner? Who hasn't grown up with desire and expectation out of fear

The so-called "abstinence" is not born, it is just a person who has been honed into an accidental indifference by the failure of life.

Later, whenever Sean knocked on the door of Chen Gong's house, Chen Gong opened his cardigan to hide his emotions and accepted him, because he was "used to it".

It's too hard to understand the feeling that you haven't gone through one in person: you have had expectations and have been running in with him for so long... Even if there is only hatred left when you finally part, there is no one who understands you better than him in this world. people.

Occasionally, on the days when the light of the sky seeps into the dark room through the gap between the window frames, you get a little emotional, and you tell yourself to go out and find a new person. When you open the door, you will think about the long break-in in the previous period out of time, and it will hurt again... You don't know if you step out the door to meet someone again, and let yourself sharpen yourself again... Is it worth it, you just remember to go A feeling of fear left you, I only remember the edges and corners that you swung the knife toward yourself in order to fit in with him, and I only remember that every inch of strength... It is still clearly discernible today.

A failed love can destroy most of your self-esteem.

You don't know if the next match will destroy your whole being.

Towards the end of that movie, the tattoo artist refused to serve and said to the hooligan, "It's time to love yourself."

The little hooligan was stunned for a long time, and finally agreed to the tattoo artist's proposal to "tattoo your own name".

The last tattoo was the biggest and the most painful, so the little hooligan lay there crying and weeping.

Since then, the hooligan is no longer young; he is still wandering in the love field, but he has never seen his enthusiasm again.

Yao Jiaren once said to Chen Gong - "When you get along with any kind of person, you have to turn into the same person as him - like a mirror, you need to reflect all the light back."

Chen Gong is also well aware of this truth - if Zheng Yi is not serious, he can't be serious either.

Putting on the mask of "just playing", Chen Gong recklessly can give back to Zheng Yi and ask for something - if you are a fool, then I am a scumbag; if you have a "danger warning", then I also have a "hunting restricted area". "-You and I are evenly matched after all, and the resources are equal to each other.

Even if there is another voice message "The hotel is open" on your phone one day, I can nod my head and say to you easily - "Go play, it's nothing to do with me."

In this way, he found a theoretical basis for his unknown tattoo behavior, and Chen Gong felt much more comfortable.

After applying the medicine and sticking a layer of plastic wrap, listening to the tattoo artist's explanation of the precautions, it's over.

Tattoos are wounds that scab over first and then slowly fall off. Do not buckle by hand, there is a risk of infection, and it will also affect the final coloring and molding.

Unfortunately, Chen Gong's lower abdomen is derived from under his belly button... He has a long line of hair that is not thick but not light. For the tattoo, Chen Gong shaved it off, but the first two days were fine. On the third day, when the hair grew back to some fine stubble, Chen Gong was scratched to death...

Knowing that this was a decision made by him on the spur of the moment, it had nothing to do with Zheng Yi. But the emotional cost could not be restrained and let Zheng Yi bear it - he has always treated him with a fierce face in recent days.

Zheng Yi is not against Chen Gong now, and he is generously selling tea and pouring water to coax Chen Gong.

There was a sharp-tongued little girl in the department who couldn't help gossip: "It's a different world—Jian Zheng, are you trying to atone for your sin? I've seen you bullying Deputy Supervisor Chen before, what's the matter now?"

"How can I do it!" Zheng Yile replied happily: "This is called 'sympathetic subordinates' - I let him, so that he can work hard for me - you child, you don't understand, this is called the art of manipulating people."

The children laughed together, grabbed Zheng Yi's words, and chatted together to expand the meaning of "hard work".

Zheng Yi saw that Chen Gong's face was flushed from the discussion, so he turned his head and coaxed them away: "Let's watch less junk literature!"

In the past few days while waiting for the scab to fall off, Chen Gong was cautious, and didn't condone Zheng Yi's stubborn "game request"... Occasionally, he was blocked in his car by Zheng Yi several times, and Chen Gong also clicked until he reached it, maybe he crossed the line.

Zheng Yi wanted to play more that day, but Chen Gong "guarded himself like a jade", pressing the corner of his clothes tightly and not giving him a chance.

Zheng Yi, the eldest man, acted coquettishly on the spot and said, "I won't do anything you don't want to do, but I won't give you a kiss? You... even if you only want to be a playmate with me... ' ', you are also not qualified!"

It's not that Chen Gong was unwilling to give it, but he was also worried after realizing it - this exclamation mark is tattooed... At first glance, it looks like a deeper confession than words.

Not knowing how to reply to Zheng Yi, Chen Gong took out a cigarette to relieve his pressure. At this juncture, the lighter didn't work, so he reached out and asked Zheng Yiyao, "Lend me a fire."

Zheng Yi was still embarrassed: "No - you deserve to suffocate you if you can't smoke!"

Chen Gong was also depressed, and he fired a few times by himself - several times he couldn't hit, and once or twice a tiny flame burst out, and it went out on the cigarette butt before it was too late.

After thinking about it, I decided to get out of the car and buy one, just to avoid the awkward atmosphere. Just as he was about to unbuckle his seat belt, he was pulled by Zheng again.

Chen Gong looked at Zheng Yi, he frowned and took away the cigarette in Chen Gong's mouth and sipped it into his own mouth: "You can take out another one by yourself - give me the lighter, and I will teach you how to light it."

Chen Gong handed Zheng Yi an unusable lighter. He didn't know what Zheng Yi was doing: "I can't light one, and two are useless."

Zheng pair stared at the lighter in the dim light of the parking lot for a long time, and shook it violently in his hand: "There's no more oil—you come." After saying that, he grabbed Chen Gong's head and put their cigarette butts together. He pressed his forehead against his forehead: "I, Zheng Yi, have lived for so many years, and I have never believed that there is no drama; if I can't fight, I keep fighting; if I can't catch up, I keep chasing - keep your head on the side, so as not to burn..."

From a very close distance, Chen Gong looked at Zheng Yi's eyes - he was focusing on the lighter in his hand, so his eyelids drooped slightly; the weak dark light in the parking lot was gathered in his clean eyes, and he followed every inch. Circling to the body cavity that vibrated slightly as he spoke. The eyelashes are dense and long... I don't know if he would tickle his heart when he opened his eyes if he leaned against his chest.

Chen Gong couldn't help blushing thinking about it, Zheng Yi also raised his eyelids to look at Chen Gong at this time, he smiled: "This is a ceremony - I heard it when I was studying in Germany..."

Chen Gong lowered his eyes to avoid Zheng Yi's gaze, "Be quick!"

"The ceremony should have used matches—similar to a bet, the chance of missing a match is high, but this lighter, the chance of missing..." Zheng Yi instructed Chen Gong, "Avoid talking to blow out the fire, you use Knock on the seat with my finger, three times, and I will depress the lighter…”

Instinctively resisting silly little games, but Zheng Yi's eyes will captivate people's souls; so Chen Gong followed his instructions and tapped the seat with his index finger: three, two, one.

A tiny flame the size of a bean lit up at the mouth of the lighter, wobbly, and was protected by Zheng Yi's hand, and put it on the cigarette holder that was in the same place.

The two lit cigarettes just like that.

Zheng Yi sat back and put the lighter in his trouser pocket.

Chen Gong asked, "What kind of ceremony is this?"

"It's called the 'Kiss of the Guardian'..." Zheng Yi smiled: "It was the oath of loyalty of knights to nobles... It later evolved into the oath of loyalty of men to men."

Chen Gong sneered: "...What do you say?"

"The flame is God's will: if it is extinguished, then the contract between the two is unsuccessful; if it is not extinguished, it is a one-sided oath."

"What oath."

"Ich hütete Sie treue—meaning 'loyal watch'..." Zheng Yi explained to Chen Gong while sucking a cigarette: "If the person who set the fire betrays him, he will suffer great retribution."

Chen Gong was stunned for a moment, "What are you doing with these evil things?"

Zheng Yi did not speak. So the car was quiet for a long time.

Chen Gong asked again, "What is the evil retribution?"

Zheng Yi's affectionate second personality went offline and resumed his hippie smile: "Are you curious about how I will die in the future?"

Chen Gong's face was full of flesh, and he twitched obviously, but he didn't turn his head to sneer: "... very curious!"

"Hehe... Then you have to give me this chance to prove it!"

He was still taking advantage of Chen Gong as always, but this time Chen Gong was startled.

His forehead was burned by Zheng Yi, and Chen Gongming extinguished the cigarette and turned back: "If you confessed to me on the day, I would have promised you right away—what are you going to do?"

Zheng Yi recalled that Oolong - I really didn't think about it... But at this juncture, I couldn't tell the truth, and after thinking about it, Zheng Yi found an answer that wasn't a lie: "I will start to learn to love you hard— After all, I say no to two!"

"Then..." Chen Gong really asked what he cared about: "Where was Yang Yi at that time?"

"That thing, you think I'm confused... I don't want to be in two boats, the breakthrough point of this matter is you, I don't know how to explain it, but... You think I'm ignorant!" Zheng Yiye Qued the cigarette: "When I haven't loved or been loved for too long... I will be confused and blindly expect love. At that time, he said he loved me, and I believed it - Chen Gong, in fact, I have missed you for a long time... It's been longer than you think; it's just that I didn't understand the reason why I cared so much about you at that time... You were indifferent to me, and I was so angry; This is a good thing; seeing you being bullied, I want to protect you again—you’re handsome, I’m jealous—don’t think I’m superficial, the relationship is so superficial; it’s just like in the TV series, There are so many earth-shattering reasons... hehe."

Chen Gong let out a sneer that wasn't so cold, "You're not in the business of this good thing - you will be scolded for telling others about your three views!"

"Come on." Zheng Yi also smiled at Chen Gong, smiled and then suddenly laughed awkwardly, turning his head to the window.

Chen Gong knew that he seemed to be crying.

"I suddenly confessed to you the other day... It wasn't all because of the fact that I was caught by you for the room card - I'm smarter than the confession!" Zheng Yi sniffed, wiping the hot-blooded man's uncomfortable tears : "The other day I saw you secretly sorting out your mother's household registration cancellation procedures - I know she is your only relative - I was especially afraid of your loneliness and wanted to comfort you; but we are too far away, I can't reach you …I want you to know that there are people who love you—even your enemies.”

Zheng Yi may have been intoxicated just now—in that bean-sized flame. So much so that Chen Gong felt that the smoke he inhaled in his lungs was spreading all over his body at the moment, and even his mind became chaotic.

After unbuckling his seat belt, Chen Gong moved closer to Zheng Yi's side, grabbed Zheng Yi's chin and forced him to turn his head.

Zheng Yi didn't wipe away his tears, and while looking at Chen Gong, he was still sniffling.

Chen Gong kissed Zheng Yi's eyes - it was so beautiful, and the way he was holding his eyebrows and crying was so beautiful.

The kiss that Chen Gong gave for the first time made Zheng Yi stunned for a long time.

He pursed Zheng Yi's salty tears on his lips, and the unbridled tickling sensation in his lower abdomen made Chen Gong frown, and pressed his fingers over the scab through his clothes; Zheng Yi's eyes were sensitive to capture this action : "What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"

Chen Gong didn't speak, bit his lip and shook his head. After restraining the itch, Chen Gong passed on the emotional cost to Zheng Yi - a fierce kiss that made Zheng Yi unable to resist.

Indulging in Zheng Yi's rapid breathing, Chen Gong thought: Otherwise, don't pursue this matter, love him.

Even if he will destroy your whole self in the end, still love him.

Love him when the scab is gone.

The author has something to say: — Little Theater

After kissing the little mouth, Chen Gong said, "I want to smoke again..."

Zheng Yi touched his trouser pocket: "Hey, I have a big cigar here."

Chen Gong: "Hapi, climb for Lao Tzu!"