Refusing Love As A Queen

Chapter 25: Faith is for you

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"Roderi." The queen looked at him, with a trace of mockery and pity in her eyes, "Why would the most outstanding theological genius come to ask a heretic what faith is?"

"Save me, turn your ear to me, save me, be my rock of refuge, my castle of deliverance.[1]"

Archbishop Rodri said in despair.

He grabbed the queen's hand.

The Queen found that his hand, which was still holding the Hidden Blade to fight Heinrich just now, was trembling at this moment, pale and cold.

What else could he do

His world had collapsed in that thunder, and since returning from the Cathedral of Santa Maria, he had read all the classics he knew without sleep.

All the scriptures that have been regarded as the truth have repeatedly told him that the world was created by God, and those who do not respect or believe in God will not be blessed... No, not even a single word is mentioned, why does God respond to people who do not believe in Him? pray? If the queen is the real believer, they are the heretics, but the queen doesn't care what people believe in! She doesn't give a damn what gods people believe in... Shouldn't people believe in gods

He also went to old Father Balder, his mentor, the one who had led him on his way.

At the age of six, his mentor led the brothers in the monastery to distribute bread and cloth to the poor, and then raised the cross and firmly declared to everyone that "God so loves the world". That scene left a deep imprint on his mind, causing him to give up his family's inheritance rights without hesitation and embark on the path of chasing saints.

In his memory, the mentor solved his doubts in front of the god statue countless times, paving the way for him to communicate with God.

However, this time his mentor could no longer answer any doubts for him.

In the cold dungeon of Whitehall Prison, old Father Baldr huddled like a mouse in the sewage. The poison of the Heinrich family couldn't even stop his neighing from his soul: "God wouldn't do that" "It's wrong! Wrong!"... The mentor went crazy, he couldn't even recognize him anymore.

Why did the most serious, devout, and loyal person in his mind become like this

Rodri could no longer get the slightest answer from his mentor.

He was even horrified to find that the image in his heart of the teacher saving the souls of the world by pressing the scriptures in front of the god statue was being quickly replaced by the dirty shadow huddled in the corner of the wall.

He almost escaped Whitehall Prison.

The world was shrouded in rain, he stumbled through the streets and alleys, from day to night, and finally came to a trembling doubt, a question he had never thought of——

"Help me, tell me."

He murmured, trembling all over, asking that horrible question.

"In this world, what do people believe in... what is it?"

"No."

Adele replied calmly and cruelly. Her voice was soft, but it sounded like thunder in Archbishop Rodrik's ears.

"No one can tell you, and you can't know whether the other person's answer is right or wrong. Rodri, no one can."

"Then tell me your answer."

Adele wanted to pull her hand back, but Archbishop Rodrik held her tightly. He looked at her closely, for fear of missing any syllable from her lips.

"Why do you believe in God?" Adele asked, "Do you believe in Him, or in something?"

Why does he believe in God

Archbishop Rodriguez has thought about this question for himself countless times, and he has also answered this question to believers countless times. Each time, he was able to cite countless scriptures and teachings to answer it, but tonight those teachings and scriptures all lost their brilliant magic.

Amidst the sound of the rain, the first scene that floated up to him was the scene where the old priest Balder distributed food to the poor.

The expressions of gratitude and happiness on people's faces are vivid.

"Because..." he replied blankly, his voice seemed to be floating on the water, "because I thought... He can save the world, isn't it He who makes us kind, righteous, loyal and guardian?"

"Don't kindness, justice, loyalty and protection only exist for God?" Adele asked, "If a heretic saves a city, isn't it because he is a heretic that he is not kind and righteous? Should the people saved by him forget his bravery because of this? If a priest faithfully guards a well of water, just because it is a spring that God has revealed, he will let hundreds of people die at the spring water. Died of thirst, could it be that he saved the world?"

"Rodri, where is God?"

Adele asked softly.

Yes, where is God

In heaven? in the church? In the scriptures? still where

"I don't believe in God." She said coldly, "At least, I don't believe in the god you say."

Archbishop Rodri asked hurriedly, "Then what do you believe in? Your own god? Or the devil?"

"I don't believe in anything."

The queen said that people's gods made her a stigma, and her fate made her die without a place to bury her.

"I only believe in myself."

The rain intensified, and the cold rain slanted and poured into the stone corridor. The queen withdrew her hand, turned and left, there was a dead silence behind her, and Archbishop Rodri seemed to be frozen there.

Just as the queen took two steps, Archbishop Rodrik staggered forward, and he grabbed the queen's hand again. Unlike before, this time his hands were no longer trembling. The Queen turned her head to look at him, only to see him knelt down without hesitation in the rain-filled corridor, and then lowered her head.

Open your ear to me, and save me: be my rock of refuge, my castle of deliverance.

You are my rock and my castle, in your name you guide me and teach me.

You save me from the snare of the cloth of darkness, you alone are my refuge.

I place my soul in your grasp... [2]

He kissed the back of the queen's hand deeply.

As a believer kisses his Lord.

... ... ...

The impermanence of fate always makes people wonder whether God is playing tricks on the world.

Heinrich stood at the corner of the corridor, in an unnoticed corner, allowing himself to be drenched by the heavy rain. He watched for a long time, watched Archbishop Rodri grab the Queen's hand, watched their conversation in the sound of rain, watched Archbishop Rodri knelt down and kissed the back of her hand.

As long as they had been in the cloister, he had been in the rain.

The chill of the rain penetrated through the heavy clothes and penetrated into his bones, making the wound on his left rib start to ache.

Yes, that wound...

The wound that had won him the trust of the Queen - or should he be called Princess Adele - should have healed years ago.

But now it hurts again, and it hurts worse.

It was when Princess Adele was expelled from the palace and exiled to Reef City. Although the young princess seemed to have nothing left, her mother had a high reputation in Kelley. The Roland people hated the red-eyed princess, but the commoners of Kelley respected her very much.

Adele is still a dangerous thorn in some people, especially if this thorn walks with the dormant double-headed snake.

The carriage had just left the capital of the empire less than a day away when the assassin arrived.

In the sound of torches and swords, the two sides were fighting... Heinrich can't remember the situation at that time, only remembering a figure in the dark rushing towards the princess guarding the center, and a dagger was about to sink into her The chest... Mrs. Kelly was divided on the other side, making a shrill sound.

He rushed over.

The dagger scraped coldly against his bones.

After he woke up, they had already left that dangerous place, and the reinforcements from the Heinrich family arrived in time. They arrived safely in the town controlled by the Heinrich family.

"gentlemen."

When he opened his eyes, the first person he saw was Adele. She was sitting in the light of the candle, apparently sneaking in to avoid the crowd. Under the candlelight, she stood barefoot in front of his bed with a serious face.

"Where's your guard?"

He will ring the bell to let them in.

The princess's hand held him down, perhaps because of serious injuries, he actually felt that slender hand was so firm and powerful.

"Thank you for saving me," she whispered. "I have nothing but this—"

Nothing to thank, he thought, a little amused.

They bet so much on her, the person who died in the assassination could be him or anyone else, except her—this is what my father would definitely say. If the heir of the family dies, he can be replaced, but there is only one chip that can help the family get out of the predicament.

But he couldn't tell, and even out of a mentality that he didn't even know, he was waiting for what the princess was about to give him.

A hair pin? Or a pearl

Nothing, nothing.

The princess put the candle and looked into his eyes: "I give you my trust, this is the only thing I have left."

She handed him her hand, like an oath.

—Better make a pact with the devil than take an oath, trust is worthless.

His father's teachings echoed in his ears, but the rose-colored eyes under the candlelight seemed to have the magical power of a witch, and he still stretched out his hand in a strange way.

"Your wound still hurts?"

A familiar voice came from behind, Heinrich suddenly looked up and saw the Queen standing not far from him. Her eyes were on his hands.

As soon as Heinrich lowered his head, he realized that his hand was pressing tightly on his left rib at some point, as if he wanted to alleviate the sudden and extremely sharp pain in this way.

He let go of his hand: "If you stay in the cold rain any longer, I'm afraid Mrs. Kelly will be angry tomorrow."

"You really didn't leave." The queen sighed. "What did you come to see me for today? Let me guess—the port agreement? The changes in Dalton and the failure of the Church of the Old Gods made you, your family feel uneasy Is it?"

Yes and no.

Heinrich wanted to say something, but didn't know what to say.

The Church of the Old Gods was unable to resist the queen's power, and the monks of the Saint-Lorraine monastery were trembling, scrambling to join the queen's throne, fearing that if they were too late, they would be torn to pieces by the people who had been angry for too long since the drought.

The queen's unprecedented majesty made the family feel trembling and horrified. She made many people feel strange. Under the fear and worry, they wanted to know the attitude of the queen, and wanted to test the queen's attitude through the port agreement that was about to be reached with the Root Empire. And what is his own reason

What does he want to know

"gentlemen."

She finally called him "Sir" once again, the way they called him, instead of the distant "Mr. Heinrich."

"You still remember that injury, why can't you remember anything else?" The queen asked softly, "What did I say when I entrusted you with my trust?"

The distance between them is so close and yet so far away, more than ten years of time whizzed by, pattering in the sound of rain. Heinrich suddenly didn't want to hear it, didn't want to know, the rib injury was so painful in the rain that people couldn't think about it.

"You forgot."

The Queen's face became colder and paler in the dimness.

"That little girl's trust is precious because there's only so much left of her."

"No... don't say any more."

Heinrich took a step back, bumping his back against the cold and hard stone pillar. His voice was extremely weak, as if he was begging for something.

"The port agreement will be dealt with after the Old Gods faction is over, and the Heinrich family still has a seat at the meeting," said the queen, "but please always remember with your family—"

"Don't be my enemy."