Lu Yinbing only saw a reflected light between her fingers in the afternoon, and felt like something was hidden, but since she had no experience, she was not sure whether it was the pull ring of a can.
To be on the safe side, she wanted to find the nurse first to inform her. The door of the ward was always locked to prevent patients from escaping, and there was no bell like in ordinary wards. She could only wait for the nurse to come and press her face against the glass window in the ward to call her.
The patient was not sick more often than when she was sick, and she was normal most of the time. The nurse saw that she seemed to have something to say, so she asked her to go in a little further. She opened the door and asked gently, "What's the matter?"
Lu Yinbing had makeup on her face and was dressed like that. Even a great god could not recognize her as the glamorous movie queen. She did not want to make her life experience known to everyone, so only Director Huang, the doctor in charge of this ward, and the dean knew about it. The nurses just thought she was a new patient who looked unfamiliar and was not familiar to them.
Besides, even if she recognized her, she would think she had a celebrity face and would not associate her with Lu Yinbing.
Lu Yinbing pointed to the third bed inside and said in a low voice: "She seems to have hidden something."
The nurse first narrowed her eyes slowly and looked Lu Yinbing up and down. Lu Yinbing knew that she was suspicious of him, so he looked back and saw that the patient in bed number three was spinning around again and didn't notice this. He tried to make his words coherent: "Her mother came to visit her today and bought her food and drinks. When she left, I saw a light on her fingers. It felt like she was hiding something."
It is better to believe it than not to believe it. The nurse came in to check whether bed number 3 had hidden any sharp objects. Bed number 3 refused to cooperate, and it took a lot of effort. To Lu Yinbing's shock, the nurse did not find any. Bed number 3 instead looked at her quietly, and this look made her shudder.
For a moment, she almost doubted whether Lu Lingjun, who was always muttering in bed number 3, had returned to normal.
The nurse went out again, either to check the garbage her mother took out or because she didn't believe Lu Yinbing's words after checking, in any case, she didn't come back. At the appointed time, everyone was taken to dinner one by one by the doctors and nurses. Everyone had different meals. Bed 5 was an old lady who ate liquid food, while the others had rice and steamed buns. Lu Yinbing had steamed buns with vegetables, two meat dishes, one vegetable dish and one soup. The meal was not bad.
Bed number 3 did not refuse to eat. You have to know that Lu Yinbing had eaten with her four times. He made a scene twice in the first three times and even fought with the nurse. But tonight he was very well behaved and still spoke as he should. He looked docile. Because of her job, Lu Yinbing was more sensitive to emotional changes. She noticed the other person's change, but the nurse did not.
This made her even more uneasy. But before she finished her meal, bed number 3 overturned the dinner plate and screamed nervously in her seat. Lu Yinbing subconsciously snatched her chopsticks. She had learned before coming in that some patients are aggressive, but you can't find out before they attack people. In the first half of this year, there was a news report that a mentally ill patient in a hospital in Henan Province attacked patients in the same ward with chopsticks, which eventually led to the death of three female mentally ill patients and the injury of one female mentally ill patient. Lu Yinbing looked at the chopsticks in her hand and felt that it was no different from seeing a flood or a beast.
But the patient in bed number three didn't do anything special except screaming, and her hands were placed properly in their original positions. The nurse was obviously accustomed to this kind of situation, and she comforted her with experience. A few days later, when Lu Yinbing went out for some fresh air and psychological counseling, she asked the doctor in charge of this ward, who sighed and said: She is one of the easier ones to manage.
After dinner, they went back to the ward one after another.
Every night the doctor would hand out medicine in a small transparent cup. There were only pills, no names, and no explanation of the effects. The doctor would not leave until he saw them finish eating. For those with a history of hiding medicine, the doctor would open their mouths to check if they had hidden medicine in their mouths. It was found that Bed 6 had hidden medicine. Bed 6 had a delusion disorder. She used to think she was a big mushroom, but now she thought she was something else. Lu Yinbing didn't know, but she refused to eat anyway. A male nurse came and held her head down to feed her the medicine. Soon after, the mushroom became drowsy and unconscious, and passed out. It was probably a sleeping pill or something like that.
The doctor smiled as he gave Lu Yinbing medicine and asked silently with his mouth: "Are you okay?"
Lu Yinbing raised her eyebrows, indicating that she was fine. But when the doctor spoke to her, she clearly felt a different emotion in her chest. The sun shone in, and she stepped on the only reality in the illusion of the past two days.
If you stay with a mentally ill person for a long time, your spirit will inevitably be affected. Maybe you don’t realize it yet, but the influence is subtle. Even if you still maintain normal brain thinking, your unconscious actions are irrational.
Lu Yinbing made a strict rule to go out for one day every weekend and receive psychological counseling. If she was really deeply affected in the later stage, the doctor would forcibly take her out, so she had to be fully prepared.
He drank the sugar tablets with water, which had no effect, and watched the doctor return to the corridor and close the door. Lu Yinbing lay on the bed, eyes open, repeating monotonous numbers, "one, two, three, four, five, six, seven..."
Eyes are observing all the beds in the ward.
Bed number three, she didn't know what the disease should be called academically. Bed number four was also a young girl, she looked only 20 years old, a normal person should be in an ivory tower, receiving the baptism of knowledge and love, she was suffering from depression, Lu Yinbing saw it soon, because she herself had suffered from it. She often felt that someone was walking around in front of her, there was a voice talking in her ear, her emotions were out of control, and she would inexplicably feel depressed because of a small thing, for example, when she saw a spot on the wall, she would burst into tears.
Bed number 4 was crying now, but without making any sound. She had used up half of a brand new box of tissues. The doctor came in again and stayed with her. Lu Yinbing estimated that he stayed with her for about an hour.
Bed number five is the old lady with schizophrenia. She was admitted in 1988, one year older than Lu Yinbing. When she was not ill, she was really a kind and gentle old lady, with gray hair and a thin face. She liked to read books and study insects. When she was normal, she would sit and read books with glasses, without making any noise. The day Lu Yinbing entered the ward, he greeted her and said with a smile: "Hello, young man."
She looked a bit like Lu Yinbing’s deceased grandmother, and Lu Yinbing’s eyes felt a little warm.
But when she got sick, her condition was no less severe than that of bed number 3, and even worse. She resisted any doctor or nurse, and her skinny body struggled to resist the contact of the caregivers, screaming and wailing, with turbid tears in her eyes, and she refused to take medicine or sleep. After all, she was old, and the caregivers didn't dare to touch her, for fear that they would use too much force and break bones.
A few days later, he was transferred to the special care unit, and like a drop of water evaporating, no news came.
Time flew by, and in a blink of an eye she had been staying in the ward for five days. During these days, she stayed up late every night, observing Lu Lingjun in bed number three. Lu Lingjun also needed to take sleeping pills at night and slept unconsciously, but that flash of light kept lingering in her mind, and she always felt that something was going to happen.
The leaves in the capital city began to fall. It seemed like a matter of a moment from autumn to winter. When I woke up one morning, it seemed as if the branches were still swaying and the leaves were spreading yesterday, but today they were all bare.
There was a thick pile of it on the ground, and it felt like my feet were floating when I stepped on it.
On the fifth night, Lu Yinbing decided that if Lu Lingjun had nothing to do tonight, she would take sleeping pills and go to sleep. Out of sight, out of mind. There were people singing the national anthem upstairs every day, which almost made her nervous. In two days, she would be able to go out and video chat with Xia Yitong, so she couldn't let her mind be in a mess.
That very night, Lu Lingjun in bed number three slit her wrists using the pull ring of a can that she had secretly hidden.
Lu Yinbing didn't know why he hid for so long before cutting his wrists, but she saw the other person's actions. She didn't expect that someone was still awake so late, turned on the small desk lamp, and used the edge of the pull ring to cut his own veins vertically.
The edge of the pull ring was sharp, but small, not as sharp as a knife, and it had formed a thin layer of rust after being left for a long time. She was facing Lu Yinbing, and Lu Yinbing saw that her hands were shaking, she closed her eyes and clenched her teeth, and her face was pale.
Bed number three's attempt to cut his wrists was unsuccessful.
Lu Yinbing jumped out of bed and banged on the door to call for a doctor, then came back to subdue her. In TV dramas, mentally ill people are very strong. Lu Yinbing had never verified this, so she didn't know if it was true. She knew it was true only after the fight. She moved much faster than Lu Lingjun, who had been in the hospital for many years. She pressed her arm tightly, but she could still feel her twisting and struggling. It was the kind of desperate and terrifying struggle. Her joints made terrible noises. If she pressed down further, she would definitely break bones because of the resistance.
The doctors and nurses who arrived later tied her body tightly to the bed with restraints. The pull rings were taken away, and there were bloodstains on them.
Lu Yinbing calmed down and sat back on her bed. She found that Lu Lingjun was looking at her with her head tilted. It was not a neurotic look, but she was just crying quietly, and her tears seeped into the pillow. It was the look of a normal person.
Lu Yinbing's heart trembled. In order to verify her guess, she whispered, "Lu Lingjun?"
Lu Lingjun cried and said: "Why did you save me... I don't want to drag my mother down, can't you just let me die... I don't want to live like a walking corpse..."
From her intermittent soliloquy, Lu Yinbing deduced the whole picture of the matter. When Lu Lingjun was crazy, she was completely irrational. When she was awake, she hated herself for being like this. However, she was awake too rarely and for a very short time. For example, she was awake only for a few minutes when she stole the pull ring last time. She hid the pull ring in a hidden place and only remembered that she had hidden such a thing after almost a week.
This also explains why Lu Yinbing found nothing after watching for several nights.
Maybe she was sober during the meal that day, but Lu Lingjun didn't say, so she had no way of knowing for sure.
Lu Lingjun fell asleep while crying. Lu Yinbing bravely stepped forward and pushed aside her messy hair. He found that she was very pretty, with a straight nose and red lips. She fell asleep so quietly like a baby.
The next day, her mother came to see her again, her face full of panic, probably because she learned the news of her daughter's suicide. She fell in tumbling, and Lu Yinbing got up incredibly quickly and helped her up.
Lu Lingjun's upper body was tied with restraints, fixed to the end of the bed, and she was muttering something, vaguely something like "Jade Emperor, Queen Mother, Tathagata Buddha, Fighting Buddha". Her mother rushed over and hugged her, crying bitterly. She kicked her mother and bit her neck with her teeth, shouting hysterically: "Stop making noise! You will die! We will all die!"
Her mother covered her bleeding neck and burst into tears. She was taken out by the doctor to be bandaged.
Lu Yinbing's fingers were pale as he pressed on the surface of his bed. He felt difficulty breathing and could not catch his breath. He was discharged from the hospital a day early for psychological counseling.