The hospital has a special psychologist, who is just around the corner. Lu Yinbing went back to her dormitory to change her clothes first. She always felt uncomfortable wearing the hospital gown.
After spending about half an hour in the counseling room, she drove home to take a bath, wrapped in a big towel and lying on the sofa, chatting with Laiying via video. Laiying was much more idle than the leading actress, lying in the hotel bed with only her head outside.
When Laiying saw her, he exclaimed, "Have you finished your field trip? Wow, you've lost weight."
Lu Yinbing folded her hands, supported her chin, and looked at her calmly from left to right, up to down, and didn't know what was going on. Lu Yinbing's eyes suddenly changed, and she suddenly moved closer to the camera. Her eyes seemed to be shocked, and her pupils shrank suddenly, filled with strange fear, anger and hostility, and the nervous breathing sound she deliberately created came through the microphone.
Laiying was so scared that he dropped his phone and rolled backwards three times with his quilt.
Lu Yinbing returned to normal, raised an eyebrow and said, "How is it? The results of the field trip."
"Fuck." Laiying answered her honestly, then leaned back and said, "Are you sick? Couldn't you have warned me in advance?"
Lu Yinbing curled the corners of his lips: "If I had reminded you in advance, it wouldn't have had this effect."
Laiying: "Then why don't you show it to Xia Yitong? Isn't she your dear girlfriend?"
Lu Yinbing said: "Yes, so I was afraid of scaring her."
Laiying said, "Aren't you afraid of scaring me?"
Lu Yinbing looked at her, paused for a second, and shrugged: "Okay, I won't humiliate myself."
Lu Yinbing asked: "You haven't answered me yet, what's wrong?"
Laiying clapped his hands twice and said, "Just like a mental patient."
Lu Yinbing bared his teeth, and the smile disappeared before it was even formed. Laiying caught it sharply and asked, "What's the matter? Just tell me if you have something to say."
"My heart is beating a little fast." Lu Yinbing pressed his chest.
Laiying said exaggeratedly: "Are you in love with me? No, I am a married woman."
"What are you talking about? Be serious." Lu Yinbing did not hesitate to tell Lai Ying what she really thought, because she was one of the insiders of the incident and knew the whole story very well. Lu Yinbing said, "Last night, the patient in the bed next to me committed suicide."
"Ah?" Lai Yingxin asked immediately, "Dead?"
Lu Yinbing shook his head: "He's not dead, he was cut off and tied to the bed. If he doesn't get better, he'll probably be sent to the Fourth Defense Zone. The Fourth Defense Zone is a place to prevent suicides, murders, and so on."
"continue."
Lu Yinbing covered her face with the towel she used to dry her hair, closed her eyes and recounted every detail about Bed Number 3's usual behavior, how she tried to commit suicide by collecting can pull tabs, what she said after her failed suicide attempt, and how she went crazy again when her mother came the next day.
Laiying was silent for a long time, then sighed and said, "It feels like something you can only see in movies."
"Didn't I go there just for the movie?" Lu Yinbing removed the towel from his face.
Laiying looked at Lu Yinbing on the screen and tried to hold back for a long time, but he couldn't say a long speech. He just said, "Be careful and pay attention to safety."
Lu Yinbing looked at her expression and laughed.
"I come out to relax when I'm not feeling well, it's okay."
She thought about it: the mother would never give up her daughter, but Lu Lingjun, the patient, wished she would die so as not to drag her mother down. If the mother was mentally ill and her daughter was not yet an adult, what kind of feelings would she have for her child? She had no memory of herself when she was ill, so how would she face her daughter's gaze after waking up? What if she hurt her daughter
Questions came up one after another in his mind. Lu Yinbing took out a pen and paper from the drawer and wrote down the questions quickly. Without even looking up, he said, "I have something to do. Go ahead and do it."
Laiying didn't turn off the video. She knew that Lu Yinbing must have thought of something and was trying to learn from him. However, Lu Yinbing disappeared from the screen in the blink of an eye, holding a notebook full of words.
Lu Yinbing got up and went to the bathroom, wet her face, and looked at the woman in the mirror with phoenix eyebrows, long eyes and a sharp look. She looked very domineering, and her eyes were full of eagerness to try.
Lu Yinbing touched the area above her eyes, found an eyebrow trimmer from the table, and trimmed her eyebrows. The original edges and corners disappeared, and the domineering aura also disappeared. Instead, there was a completely unfamiliar face after staring for a long time, and her eyes were full of pain and forbearance.
She propped her legs against the sink, turned on the faucet, and washed her hands like she had obsessive-compulsive disorder, from the back of her hands to the gaps between her fingers, and each fingertip. She lowered her head and made short, dense breathing sounds, as if her palm was pierced by broken glass, and she had to use tweezers to remove it bit by bit, and then disinfect it with a cotton swab. It was a very long process.
The sound of water stopped. Lu Yinbing clenched her hands tightly on the edge of the wash basin, and a dying gasp came out of her throat. She slowly looked into her own eyes in the mirror. It was not the face of a perfectly maintained actress, but the face of a middle-aged woman who had been through the ravages of time. Her skin was dry and covered with freckles, which covered her nose and cheekbones bit by bit.
She had another attack today. What did she do? What did she do with these hands? Xiaoru (the daughter's name in the play) must have seen it. When she went to hug her just now, she hid for a moment. She was afraid of herself. She was afraid of herself. This realization almost made the adoptive mother collapse. Tears silently burst out from one eye. She raised her palm to wipe them away. More and more tears fell, like pearls that had broken off the string. She had no choice but to wipe them with both hands. Her vision was blurred.
The bathroom was quiet, with only the sound of her looking at the ceiling and breathing with her mouth wide open. She didn't even dare to breathe through her blocked nose for fear of waking up Xiaoru who was sleeping outside.
She slowly squatted on the ground, her back against the wall, and curled herself into a ball of discarded garbage.
Lu Yinbing stood up again, washed the tears from her face with water, frowned and watched again, deciding to change her performance style.
An hour later, Lu Yinbing came out of the bathroom and took out an ice pack from the refrigerator to apply to his eyes. He checked the time before applying it. It was four o'clock in the afternoon, so he could get back to normal before Xia Yitong finished work.
Maybe she was tired from crying, she fell asleep while applying the ice pack, and woke up with a sore neck, thanks to her bold sleeping posture, and the ice pack rolled under the sofa. When she looked in the mirror again, her eyes were still swollen like walnuts.
Lu Yinbing: “…”
What gave her the illusion that she could sleep well even if Xia Yitong was not by her side
Accept your fate, you can't live without her, you can't even sleep well without her. A voice in his heart said this, and Lu Yinbing happily accepted his fate, then went to his own concert hall seriously, played an intense symphony, and pressed his hands on his eyes through ice packs and towels.
I can't fall asleep like this, right? Lu Yinbing thought, but the fact is that she fell asleep again. She didn't sleep well for five consecutive nights, so it was natural that she spent the whole day at home doing nothing.
Lu Yinbing pushed her feet down and woke up from the nightmare of falling off a cliff. The night was thick outside the window and her brain was in a mess. She had slept so well that she had no idea what day it was. She grabbed a handful of her freshly baked chicken coop hair that she had rolled over for several times, squinted her eyes and found the mobile phone with the screen on and singing within a radius of two meters. She pulled it over and said, "Hello."
"Awake?" Xia Yitong's deliberately low voice came over gently, and Lu Yinbing's consciousness returned from fantasy to reality in an instant. She sat up, supported herself on the blanket, and backed away until her back was against something solid to lean on. She supported her forehead with her hand and said "um" lazily, "Awake."
"I'm in the hotel. I just came out of the shower."
"Is it so late?" Lu Yinbing first glanced at the sky, then took down his phone, looked at the time displayed on the top, and leaned his head back weakly, "It's already ten o'clock, I almost fainted."
"Are you tired?" Xia Yitong's tone changed.
"No, I'm just sleepy." Lu Yinbing said, "Let me tell you, there's a guy upstairs who sings the national anthem every night, 'Get up! People who don't want to be slaves, build our new Great Wall with our flesh and blood!' I was asleep, but as soon as he started singing, I got up. I got up as soon as he started singing. Don't you think I'm very patriotic? I got up all night, and then I couldn't get up during the day."
Xia Yitong: "You wear earplugs. I remember there is a brand that is very useful. I'll buy them for you and ask Xiaoxi to send them to you, okay?"
Lu Yinbing: "Okay, then I won't have to endure the noise anymore. How can you be so considerate, my girlfriend?"
Xia Yitong replied: "Am I not always so considerate?"
After all, I am thin-skinned and my face turned red after I finished speaking.
Lu Yinbing laughed and said, "There are several talented people in my ward. Bed number three is a pretty girl named Lu. She is from the same family as me and likes to write fantasy novels. Every day she tells me how the Jade Emperor and the Queen Mother became immortals and why Tathagata Buddha is the most powerful. I can ask her to write a drama for a fantasy novel in the future. Bed number five is an old lady with kind eyes and taught me a lot about insects..."
Lu Yinbing talked incessantly. She didn't lie, she just told the story from a different perspective. There are many different kinds of people in the world, and everyone has many faces. As she spoke, she suddenly felt enlightened, and that group of fellow patients was not that scary after all.
She talked a lot, her throat was dry, she turned on the speakerphone and put her phone upside down on the ground, and went to get herself some water. Xia Yitong asked her on the phone: "Teacher Lu, do you see the moon in the sky?"
This question is probably meant to be romantic and fresh. Lu Yinbing really wants to hear Xia Yitong say some sweet words.
It happened so quickly that Lu Yinbing didn't even bother looking at the gray sky outside. He immediately rushed over and opened the calendar on his phone. It was December 12th in the Gregorian calendar, which corresponds to October 25th in the lunar calendar.
Xia Yitong: "Teacher Lu?"
Lu Yinbing said: "Wait."
She again entered the key words "Which days of each month are without the moon" into the web search, and the answer was from the 25th to the first few days of each month.
Lu Yinbing: “…”
Is there a moon today or not