At three o'clock in the afternoon, Lu Yinbing took Xia Yitong to see the psychologist she had an appointment with. The psychologist was the one who treated her a few years ago. The two chatted for a few minutes and then Xia Yitong went in and she waited outside.
Knowing that the time would not be short, Lu Yinbing took out the kindle she carried with her from her bag and started reading a book, "Stoner" by John Williams, which tells the story of an ordinary man's life of constant disappointment and struggle against nothingness.
There was an orchid in front of the psychologist's office. It was growing well, with fresh leaves and full of vitality. When Lu Yinbing got tired of reading, he would go to the orchid to relieve his fatigue. When he went to see the orchid for the fifth time, the office door opened and the doctor politely escorted Xia Yitong out.
Lu Yinbing stood up immediately.
"Come twice a week for now." She heard the doctor say this, walked over, and asked worriedly, "Is it serious?"
The doctor looked at Xia Yitong, and Xia Yitong nodded. The doctor then said, "It's mild to moderate schizophrenia. With psychological counseling and medication, and a calm mind, there's a high chance that she can recover. She's mentally strong, and can tell hallucinations apart. It's not a big deal."
"Thank you, doctor." Lu Yinbing finally let go of the huge burden.
The doctor smiled and said, "My fees are very high, it's not free, why are you thanking me?" He then said angrily, "Alright, take the patient back. You young people are risking your lives to film movies. Do you think you can get mental illness easily? Aren't you afraid that it will affect your whole life?"
Lu Yinbing curled the corners of his mouth upwards.
Xia Yitong had just finished psychological counseling. He was very calm and listened attentively.
The doctor lost his temper and prescribed Risperidone to Xia Yitong. They arranged a time for the next meeting and then they set off to go back. Instead of going home, they found a restaurant to eat at, a high-end western restaurant, a candlelight dinner.
But this meal was eaten in silence. It was almost New Year again. Compared with the end of last year, although the two lived in different places, they were inseparable when they occasionally called each other. This year, although they were in the same place, I always felt that there was an invisible layer between them.
The two of them sat opposite each other. Xia Yitong moved the chair directly next to Lu Yinbing, and put his right arm against Lu Yinbing's left hand: "Teacher Lu..."
"Hmm?" Lu Yinbing looked at her, "What's wrong?"
Xia Yitong pulled her plate over and cut the steak into small pieces: "Aren't you going to tell me yet?"
"say what?"
"The reason why you quit the group."
"oh."
Oh. As far as she could remember, Lu Yinbing had never spoken to her so coldly. Xia Yitong was slightly surprised. Lu Yinbing immediately changed his gaze and voice to a gentle one: "Let's talk about it when we get back, okay? Let's eat first."
It was so fast that Xia Yitong thought it was an illusion.
"good."
There was only the monotonous sound of knives and forks colliding on the table. Lu Yinbing drank, but Xia Yitong didn't. She was responsible for driving back. Lu Yinbing stared at a point in front of him for a long time. He had no idea of where to go, and a thought flashed through his mind: I'm so tired.
The lover beside him was so lively, considerate and gentle, loving to laugh and act like a spoiled child. Lu Yinbing's eyes flickered slightly, and he turned his gaze from the void back to his real lover. Xia Yitong seemed unhappy. Was it because of her? She made Xia Yitong unhappy.
"Teacher Xia."
"Here." Before Xia Yitong could react, a piece of tender beef was handed to her mouth. Xia Yitong opened her mouth and took a bite, and her eyes lit up in an instant as she looked at her.
Lu Yinbing held the back of her neck and squeezed her soft flesh.
The air warmed up a little, and the two of them ate dinner while feeding each other. They drank most of the red wine, and Lu Yinbing's face became a little flushed. It was okay when he was sitting, but he was completely exposed when he stood, and he even staggered when he walked.
After getting drunk, she went home to take a shower and go to sleep. She said she would discuss what she wanted to say later, and it ended in nothing. Xia Yitong took the medicine, and slept in Lu Yinbing's arms with the light on. It was unknown whether it was the medicine, the psychological counseling, or Lu Yinbing's tightly clenched arms, or all three, but the voice in Xia Yitong's ears was no longer so arrogant, and hallucinations appeared, but Lu Yinbing frowned in his sleep, so Xia Yitong had to whisper to her mother: "I have to take care of her now, maybe next time."
Mother Xia was very considerate of her and even came to visit her daughter-in-law who was not yet married.
Xia Yitong introduced: "Mom, she is very nice."
Mother Xia teased her: "What kind of introduction is this? What's so good about her?"
Xia Yitong said: "He is very good in every way, very dedicated, very good at acting, and very kind to me."
Mother Xia pointed at Lu Yinbing and said, "Look, she's so moved that she's crying."
Xia Yitong was stunned, and his fingers touched the corner of Lu Yinbing's eyes. The liquid was hot and moist. He put it into his mouth, and it tasted salty, sour and astringent.
Lu Yinbing cried in her dream.
This realization came to her mind belatedly, and it stunned Xia Yitong. She could not imagine why someone like Lu Yinbing would be so sad in her dream.
Xia Yitong pressed his forehead against Lu Yinbing's and felt her trembling slightly and sobbing. It felt like a blunt knife was sharpening her heart and she could hardly breathe.
She held Lu Yinbing's shoulders, trying to wake her up, but her eyes changed several times, and her hands seemed to be detached, and she slowly let go.
Xia Yitong lay on the bed with her face up, a tear falling from the corner of her eye and seeping into the pillow beneath her.
The biological clocks of both of them went on strike as planned. They slept until noon again the next day. This time, Xiaoxi didn't come to call them for lunch, and they didn't get up at noon. They were so hungry that they would have stomachaches if they didn't eat something. Only then did they get up slowly.
Xia Yitong looked at the tears in Lu Yinbing's eyes, and she looked calm and as if she didn't remember what happened last night. Xia Yitong naturally wouldn't expose her, but she wanted to know why.
It has been two days since she came back, and Lu Yinbing has kept silent about that incident. There is reason to suspect, no, it is almost certain that she is evading and adopting a delaying policy, delaying as long as possible.
She dragged her feet getting up and washing up, spent the whole day in bed, ordered takeout at night, and planned to go to bed after eating. This Lu Yinbing was too abnormal. When this issue was mentioned, she found all kinds of excuses to put it off until later. On the third night, Xia Yitong couldn't stand it anymore and blocked her on the sofa in the living room.
"Can you tell me why now?"
She is young, strong, straightforward, malleable, and has a beauty that is different from her own. More people will like her in the future. Lu Yinbing looked at her, and her mind was filled with all kinds of messy thoughts that she couldn't control.
If you can't hide any longer, then get out of the snail house.
"I may not be able to be an actor anymore." Lu Yinbing said, "I fell down the stairs last time and hit my head. There are..." She took two deep breaths, her eyes suddenly turned red, and continued, "The sequelae... I... can't remember the lines."
She choked up and said, "It can't be cured..."
She thought she had accepted the fact and could say these words in a calm tone, but facing Xia Yitong, she could no longer pretend to be herself. She was very sad and upset, and was in so much pain that she almost died.
I want to have a good cry.
Her tears really fell quickly and fiercely, and she cried loudly against Xia Yitong's shoulder.
Xia Yitong murmured, "How could this happen?"
But the woman who collapsed in her arms told her: This is how it is, ridiculous, but it happened.
Dong Yafei was sentenced to five years in prison, and she deserved it. What did Lu Yinbing do wrong? Why should she pay for her whole life instead of just one walk through the gates of hell
God, if you have eyes, why are you so unfair
“Huh…” Xia Yiting looked up at the ceiling, smiled sarcastically and sharply, then closed her eyes and tears fell like rain.
…
Lu Yinbing was tired of crying in her arms. Xia Yitong raised her hand and pressed her against her chest, pulled a towel blanket over the side to cover them both, then slowly lowered her upper body and snuggled into the sofa together.
Sometimes you feel safer in a crowded space. She felt that there were traps all around her, and under each trap there was a giant mouth that wanted to eat people, just waiting for her and Lu Yinbing to show up and swallow them up in one gulp, leaving no trace.
"Let's stay here." Xia Yitong said.
Lu Yinbing looked around with his dark eyes and buried his face in her arms again. The two of them stayed on the sofa all night, their clothes were wrinkled, and Xia Yitong's arms were cramped from being pressed, and she couldn't move for a long time. Lu Yinbing stretched her muscles and she screamed in pain, mostly because she was acting coquettishly. Lu Yinbing liked it very much and rewarded her with a kiss.
Lu Yinbing went to the kitchen to make breakfast, and Xia Yitong helped her. It was a simple meal, sandwiches and hot milk. Bathed in the morning sunshine, they enjoyed the home-cooked breakfast bite by bite, as if all the haze had been swept away.
"We're going to get moldy if we stay at home every day. Why don't we go out for a walk today?" It was not Xia Yitong but Lu Yinbing who made the suggestion.
Xia Yiting agreed too quickly and choked on her sandwich. She held her neck and nodded continuously, afraid that she would change her mind.
Lu Yinbing: "There is a temple on Mount XX, let's go there."
This time Xia Yitong was stunned for a moment, and said, "Okay. But why did you suddenly want to go to the temple?"
Lu Yinbing replied: "I feel upset and want to go and calm down."
The temple is a two-hour drive from where Lu Yinbing lives. It is located in the suburbs. The ancient monuments here are well preserved and it seems to be quite spiritual. It is very popular. There are also many people on weekdays, mostly older people, but there are also young people with sad faces, wandering in front of the main hall.
In the hall, there is a golden statue of the Bodhisattva, sitting cross-legged on a lotus platform, with a very gentle look between his eyebrows, revealing a bit of compassion. When light shines in from outside, the Buddha statue seems to be covered with a layer of precious light, and his appearance is solemn.
The sounds of beating wooden fish and chanting scriptures rang out in the main hall, and the Buddhist music was solemn.
Xia Yitong followed Lu Yinbing and knelt on the cushion. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and saw that Lu Yinbing's profile was gentle and he bowed devoutly to the Buddha statue in front of him.