Lu Yinbing bent down to pick up the script, and curled the corners of his mouth in self-mockery.
Two days had passed, and she was still stumbling over and over again, with no progress. It wasn't that she was impatient, but she tried her best to calm down, and after trying to figure out the character's emotions like before, she memorized the lines step by step.
If one time doesn’t work, try twice. If two times doesn’t work, try three times. If three times doesn’t work, try ten times. If a hundred times doesn’t work, even a fool can recite it, but she is worse than a fool.
It's not that she didn't hope for a miracle to happen. What she lost came back quietly when she was reciting the lines one time. She was still the same Lu Yinbing who was so successful that she could interpret the lives of countless people and was held in high esteem by everyone in the circle.
But not even once.
The reason why a miracle is a miracle is that it does not happen easily. It is like a god high above, looking down on the world with coldness and indifference, and it does not care about staying or leaving.
A corner of the script was rubbed to the point of being almost missing. Lu Yinbing recited the lines over and over again, and her lips became white. Suddenly, something sank beside her. Lu Yinbing looked over and saw Xia Yitong sitting on the sofa next to her, resting his head on her chest, and humming uncomfortably, "Teacher Lu, I don't feel well."
Lu Yinbing was quiet for a moment, put the script down, held her back with one hand, and asked softly, "Where do you feel uncomfortable?"
Xia Yitong pointed to her heart and said, "It's beating too fast. I feel uncomfortable."
Lu Yinbing put her hand on her chest and listened to her heartbeat. It was indeed much faster than usual, far beyond the normal range. While comforting Xia Yitong, she called the doctor, who replied that it was a side effect of antipsychotic drugs, just like drowsiness, and there was no need to deal with it. If she was really uncomfortable, she could take some Propranolol.
There was no medicine at home, so Lu Yinbing asked Xia Yitong to wait for her at home. She would be back soon. Xia Yitong refused, saying that if Lu Yinbing left, she would definitely fall asleep, and she would not have time to sleep at night.
Lu Yinbing touched her face and said, "I'll go upstairs to get something and come down right away, then we'll go out and get some medicine."
Xia Yitong propped open her eyelids with her fingers and nodded vigorously.
Lu Yinbing smiled and went upstairs.
She didn't have anything to take, her things were all in the TV cabinet in the living room, she closed the door, squatted with her back to the door, buried her face in her knees, and stayed there for a long, long time. She felt like it was a long time, but when she looked at the time, only ten minutes had passed, she stood up and forced a smile in front of the mirror.
Xia Yitong was very well behaved. She walked around the dining table in the living room downstairs, yawning as she walked. When she saw her, she ran over, her invisible little tail wagging behind her: "You're fine."
"Okay." Lu Yinbing put on his coat, his heart softened, he pinched her ears, helped her put on the double-breasted coat, took her hand from under the sleeves, and shouted with high morale, "Let's go get the medicine."
If you don’t know, you might think they are going to conquer the sea of stars.
Lu Yinbing drove out for a while, parked on the side of the road, and when he came back, he stuffed a cup of hot coffee into Xia Yitong's hand: "Warm up your body and refresh yourself. Don't fall asleep on the road."
Xia Yitong said "Oh" and asked, "What about you?"
Lu Yinbing started the car, slowly stepped on the accelerator, returned to the driving lane, and said, "You drink first, and leave me a sip of what I have left."
"Okay." Xia Yitong said, "You just went down like this, were you recognized?"
Lu Yinbing said: “I don’t know.”
Xia Yitong picked up the coffee on her lap: "Then..."
Lu Yinbing: "I just don't know. Why are you so annoying? I still have to drive!"
Veins on her forehead throbbed and she slammed the steering wheel hard. The horn sounded and the car in front sped up a little.
Xia Yitong lowered his head, daring only to look at her secretly, with extreme caution.
Lu Yinbing didn't say anything else. He drove forward for a while, then suddenly turned the steering wheel to the right and stepped on the brakes. The wheels left a black track on the ground. Xia Yitong's body leaned forward due to inertia and was pulled back by the seat belt.
She rested her forehead on the steering wheel, inserted her two fingers deeply into her hair, and closed her eyes.
Xia Yitong held the coffee and looked at her anxiously. After waiting for a while, he said, "I was wrong. I shouldn't have been so careless!
Lu Yinbing grabbed her hair, unable to see her expression clearly. She only heard a low voice coming from below: "You are not wrong, it's my fault. It's me..." She couldn't control her temper again and again. It felt like there were ten thousand people screaming in her heart at the same time, trying to vent, and she untimely poured these negative emotions on Xia Yitong.
She took a deep breath, her throat choked, and tears flowed from the corners of her eyes to the bridge of her nose and dripped onto the steering wheel.
"Teacher Lu?"
Xia Yitong pushed her arm. She had been lying like this for ten minutes. She held the coffee cup in one hand and touched Lu Yinbing's fingers with the other hand. Lu Yinbing's motionless fingers shrank.
Xia Yitong took advantage of the situation and held onto her. The air conditioner was on in the car, but their hands were still cold when held together. Xia Yitong used to be a little stove, but now under the dual pressure of mental and physical stress, she couldn't take care of herself and could no longer provide warmth for Lu Yinbing.
She herself seemed to have sensed something, and as she looked through the car window at the vehicles passing by, her eyes revealed a deep sense of helplessness and sorrow.
But Lu Yinbing's backhand grip was so strong that it seemed as if she wanted to crush her finger bones. Sharp pain arose between her knuckles. However, Xia Yitong let her hold it like that without even moving her eyebrows.
"Doesn't it hurt?" Lu Yinbing let go of her first. Xia Yitong's fingers turned red, and after a while, dark purple finger marks formed.
Xia Yitong looked at her and said softly, "It doesn't hurt as much as you do."
Lu Yinbing smiled, a silent smile, her head leaning back heavily on the chair, tears rolling down from her closed eyes.
Xia Yitong took out a tissue to wipe her tears and suggested, "Let me drive."
"No, you're not in good spirits. What if you get into an accident while driving while fatigued? I'll do it. You fasten your seat belt." Lu Yinbing sniffed, wiped his eyes with a tissue, and his vision became clear again.
Xia Yitong didn't insist. She took a sip of coffee with a straw. It tasted very bitter without sugar.
Lu Yinbing rubbed his face, turned sideways and kissed Xia Yitong, calmed himself down, and started the car again.
The trip out seemed to have exhausted all of Lu Yinbing's energy. After entering the room, she forced herself to cheer up, poured hot water for Xia Yitong, and fed her medicine. After that, she didn't want to care about anything anymore. She didn't even eat and went upstairs to the bedroom.
"I want to take a nap. You don't need to call me for dinner in the evening." Lu Yinbing said. She didn't care about the thought that Xia Yitong might worry about her. She just wanted to sleep and rest, and let her tense nerves relax for a while, just for a while.
She also wanted to be selfish for once and not consider anyone.
She fell asleep, looking more peaceful and relaxed than ever before. She was wearing a sweater and trousers, and cotton slippers on her feet. The slippers fell off because she was lying on the bed, revealing her feet wearing long cashmere socks with a pink pig on them. Xia Yitong's socks were a gray puppy.
This was the scene Xia Yitong saw when she came up from downstairs and opened the bedroom door.
Xia Yitong was unconscious more often than she was awake. She slept at night and was a little better in the morning, able to chat and exercise with Lu Yinbing. In the afternoon, she was completely drowsy. She had to take Propranolol because her heart rate was too fast. The doctor had mentioned it on the phone, and Lu Yinbing had mentioned it again. When she went out, she remembered why she went out today.
Not to mention understanding Lu Yinbing's feelings, she couldn't even provide the simplest companionship and care. Most of the three meals a day were prepared by Lu Yinbing, and her daily life was also taken care of by Lu Yinbing. She could only passively endure it and could do nothing.
It was she who was ill, but it was Lu Yinbing who was losing weight day by day. Didn't she even notice that her coat had slipped down her empty shoulders when she put it on? The key point was how Lu Yinbing became so thin now. She had no memory of it. Did it start before she came back
It was obvious that Lu Yinbing needed her care more and needed her help to cheer up again, instead of becoming a burden to her like she was now. Was it not enough that she had to fall from heaven to earth, but she had to be dragged into hell
Xia Yitong sensed something and slowly turned her head to look beside her. Mother Xia was looking at her tenderly: "Child, it's not your fault."
Xia Yitong supported his forehead with his hand and looked through the space under his palm. It was Mother Xia squatting down. The corner of her orange-yellow clothes fell to the ground with a warm light on it. She let out a soft "huh".
"Whose fault is it? Yours? Lu Yinbing's?"
Mother Xia choked and changed the subject abruptly: "Do you remember how your father and I comforted you when you were in a bad mood before?"
"I don't remember." Xia Yitong said.
Mother Xia: "It's okay if you don't remember. I can tell you again. When you were in kindergarten, you were bullied by a little boy because you were too pretty..."
"Stop talking, Mom." Xia Yitong said.
Mother Xia: "Baby..."
"Don't call me anymore," Xia Yitong avoided her hand that was reaching out to touch her, and took a step back, shrinking herself into the corner. "My mother is dead. I know how you got out, and I also know that you have been here because I couldn't bear to let you go."
"You and dad have been away from me for many years. My subconscious has been stuck in the past 20 years, refusing to accept the reality. It's my fault, all my fault." Xia Yitong's eyes were filled with tears. "But I only have Lu Yinbing now. I beg you, please go away and don't show up in front of me again."
Mother Xia looked at her with tears in her eyes and touched her head: "My child."
Xia Yitong knelt on the ground with her head tilted to one side, kowtowed three times, and cried, "I beg you, leave me. Please leave me, Mom—"