Mother Xia cried with her, her hands raised in the air the whole time.
"Leave me... Leave me..." Xia Yitong hid herself in the corner between the bedside table and the bed, her hands wrapped around her knees, her eyes out of focus, murmuring constantly, her face covered with traces of undried tears.
Lu Yinbing gave Xia Yitong some antipyretic medicine and put a wrung-out cold towel on her forehead. Thinking of how Xia Yitong had just woken up and was sleeping on the ground with tears on her face, her heart ached. She couldn't help but cover her heart gently with her hands, gasped, stood up, and turned to the side.
It was already two in the morning when she woke up. She didn't know how long Xia Yitong had been here, nor why she was crying like this. Her mood swings these days must have scared her, otherwise why would Xia Yitong only cry when she was asleep.
You bastard.
She raised her head and took a deep breath, forcing back the tears.
Xia Yitong was lying on the bed, her brows furrowed, mumbling something incoherently. Lu Yinbing put his ear close to her lips and vaguely heard: "Leave me... Leave me..."
Leave? What do you mean leave? Tell her to leave
Yes, she brought Xia Yitong anxiety and pain. She was the root cause of Xia Yitong's transformation. If it weren't for her, Xia Yitong wouldn't have acted in that movie, she wouldn't have even embarked on this path, she would have had a completely different and smooth life, she is so good.
If you can't succeed in your career and can't even keep your love, you are a complete loser. She heard the voice in her heart say this.
Lu Yinbing was shocked.
No, it's not like that. Xia Yitong loves her and she loves him too. All their efforts are voluntary. No one owes anyone anything. Xia Yitong's words are incoherent. Why did he take it upon himself? Maybe he wasn't talking about her at all. Xia Yitong only has herself. She hasn't wavered. Why should she waver
I am not a loser. I can make a comeback, take good care of Xia Yitong, and be with her.
I can do it!
Can I…
Lu Yinbing backed away, leaned his back against the wall, and slowly slid down to sit down.
In the room, there was a distance between two people, one lying on the bed and the other sitting on the floor. Light and darkness were intertwined, and different shadows were divided by the light. The glass wishing bottle on the bedside table was tied with a dark blue ribbon, and a small silhouette was reflected on the bottle.
The sun rose, and the sunlight shone through the thick curtains, dyeing the room light orange. Lu Yinbing raised his eyelids, then closed them again, staring at the ground in front of him with a dull expression.
In the end, it was Xia Yitong's waking up that alarmed Lu Yinbing. It took her a full ten minutes to get herself off the ground, stand up, and walk to the edge of the bed.
"You're awake." She said this only to find her voice was hoarse.
Xia Yitong looked at her, tears flowing uncontrollably.
"What's wrong?" She frightened Lu Yinbing so much that his slow reaction sped up several times, faster than a normal person's. "Don't cry, my heart can't bear it if you cry."
She pressed her chest, where she felt a familiar pain. "My heart hurts. It really hurts. Can you please stop crying? You cried like that last night, and I—"
Lu Yinbing's throat choked and he couldn't continue speaking, his eyes flickering with tears.
Xia Yitong touched the towel on her head, wiped her eyes, and sniffed hard: "Don't cry anymore."
They both got up and supported each other to wash up.
When taking medicine in the morning, Xia Yitong looked at the haggard Lu Yinbing in front of her, hesitated for a moment, and put it back. Lu Yinbing cast a puzzled look at her: "What's wrong?"
Xia Yitong said: "I don't want to eat anymore."
"In no mood?"
"Yes." Xia Yitong's voice became more and more firm. "I don't want to be so muddle-headed every day. I don't want to yawn all day to resist the side effects of taking medicine. I can recover without taking medicine."
Xia Yitong said in her heart: The most important thing is that I don’t want you to take care of me so hard every day. I’m afraid that after I get better, you will collapse.
Lu Yinbing's spirit was getting worse day by day, and she couldn't think about herself for a while. She shook her head and decisively rejected Xia Yitong: "No, you have to eat."
Xia Yitong did not insist on her own opinion, but negotiated with her: "Then next time I go to see the doctor, I will tell the doctor, and if he says I don't need to take it, then I won't take it."
Lu Yinbing: "Okay, let's listen to the doctor."
Xia Yitong's sleepiness in the afternoon improved a lot. Sometimes a person's willpower can override physiological instincts, but she still felt drowsy and could not see things clearly. She thought of a way and put a piano in the living room. Sometimes she would play the piano for the whole afternoon, with her face pressed on the keys, and Lu Yinbing would hold her up to hold her still. At this time, she would stare at Lu Yinbing blankly, and Lu Yinbing took the opportunity to take a lot of cute photos of her.
Xia Yitong hadn't posted on Weibo for more than a month. Lu Yinbing picked out the second cutest photo from the ones she took and posted it online, and kept the cutest one for himself.
Fans were screaming in disbelief, saying that they had never seen such a soft, cute Xia Yitong.
Xia Yitong's white shirt: Wait, wait, this angle doesn't look like a selfie, who took this photo? !
The sycamore tree in summer: Wow, blind student, you found the highlight [Shocked]
Xia Xia Xia Xia Le Xia Tian: I took the photo. Thank you everyone. Xia Yitong and I have already obtained our marriage certificate [haha]
Maybe one day you will love me: The furnishings in this house, emmmm… I don’t think I’ve seen it before. Is this a new house bought by Xiao Xia? Or, I have a bold idea [holding his chin]
I have never seen such a lovely person: the speculation above is terrifying...
A group of fans were looking for clues to find the person who took the photos. It's no wonder that they had associations. It turns out that Xia Yitong's photos were either selfies or group photos of many people. There were also some photos taken by other people alone. If there were any, they were either street photos or appeared in the nine-square grid with group photos. It was obvious who took the photos.
Suddenly, a photo of her at home, taken by someone else, popped up. How could it not stir up a thousand waves? With just one photo, Xia Yitong was on the hot search again, with the title "Xia Yitong posts warm photos, suspected of dating someone". Xue Yao's heart skipped a beat when she saw the hot search, but she let it go after reading the content clearly.
Ever since the two of them at home became sick, she has been completely worried. She dreams about Lu Yinbing coming out, Lu Yinbing beating up the paparazzi, Lu Yinbing... all bad things. She can even pull out her white hairs when she wakes up in the morning and looks in the mirror.
She wasn't too worried about Xia Yitong. With Lu Yinbing around, nothing would happen to her. It was just the clickbait headline on Weibo that was so irritating.
But she didn't call the two of them these days. First, she didn't want to disturb them, and second, she didn't want to set any more rules and regulations. If anything bad happened, she could just take the consequences.
I wonder how they are doing now? I called Lu Yinbing last night and told her to have a good rest and to come to her if she has any problem. Lu Yinbing was still saying that she would correct herself, but I knew she didn't listen at all. However, it proved from the side that she was in good spirits.
Xue Yao was thinking about picking a time to go see them.
Psychological clinic.
Xia Yitong entered the doctor's office again, closed the door, and formally applied to the doctor to stop taking the medicine. The doctor raised his eyebrows in surprise. This time the chat was shorter than the last time. Xia Yitong's logic was clear and her answers to his questions were clear and coherent. Except for occasional uncertainty, she was almost the same as a normal person.
When it was over, the doctor smiled and said to her, "I've been in this field for so many years, and you're definitely one of the people who recovers the fastest. I'd like to ask you how you adjusted yourself, so I can use it as a reference for the future."
Xia Yitong smiled and said, "Maybe it's an obsession that I must get better and get better quickly, so as not to make my family worry."
Doctor: "That's a sign of strong willpower. Your family must be very happy to see you like this."
Xia Yitong: "Well, I hope she's happier. By the way, can I stop taking the medicine? Because my family member is not in good health, and the side effects of the medicine on me are too great. She is a little overwhelmed to take care of me."
Doctor: "Originally I would not recommend stopping. You should know that medication is the most effective way to treat mental illness. But in your current situation, you can try stopping for a few days. If you feel something is wrong, tell me immediately."
Lu Yinbing closed the Kindle interface and was reading Roberto Bolaño's "Distant Stars". When she was about 30% done, Xia Yitong came out, much earlier than she expected.
The doctor praised Xia Yitong in front of her, which made Xia Yitong feel embarrassed. After getting in the car, Xia Yitong said, "The doctor said that my condition is very good and I don't need to take medicine anymore."
Lu Yinbing: "Is this really okay?"
There was worry in her expression, but also a hint of relief that was hard to detect.
Because of her slightly relaxed expression, Xia Yitong became more determined. No matter how difficult it was, she would get better as quickly as possible.
On the first day of stopping the medication, Xia Yitong became restless and irritable at night. Her mother sat next to her and talked to her non-stop. Just by trying to control her thoughts and ignoring them, Xia Yitong became so tired and sweaty that she was exhausted.
The shower washed away the fatigue and sweat. Xia Yitong fell asleep in Lu Yinbing's arms. She suddenly woke up in the middle of the night. Her mind was filled with chaotic and complicated voices. She clearly felt that she was being split into many pieces. Everyone was talking to her. The bulging blue veins and the marks left by the evil spirits were replayed in front of her eyes until dawn.
Insomnia in the second half of the night.
On the second day after stopping the medication, Mother Xia threw herself on her legs and cried, telling over and over again about the miserable experiences she and Father Xia had gone through in the past. Xia Yitong rested her forehead against the edge of the bed, leaving deep bloody marks on her palms.
…
One and a half months after stopping the medication, Mother Xia disappeared from her side. Xia Yitong took a long bath in the bathroom, came back with red eyes, and hugged Lu Yinbing to sleep for the first good sleep since she fell ill.