"Do you feel that..."
"What do you think?"
Lu Yinbing asked subconsciously, and only came back to her senses when Xiaoxi replied. She shook her head slowly and said thoughtfully: "Nothing."
Why do I feel that Xia Yitong has been acting weird since this morning? Not just a little weird, but very weird.
Fang Hui in the dressing room asked, "Teacher Xia?"
Xia Yitong also shook her head, indicating that she didn't need to ask any more questions.
"She doesn't like you." "No one will like you."
The two sounds were still entangled in Xia Yitong's eardrums, getting more and more intense, determined to force her into the mud. She slowly raised her hand and gently pressed her temple, where a weak but strong pulse was beating.
She turned her head behind herself, as if there were thousands or tens of thousands of Xia Yitong in the void, accusing her one by one, making her hide in her shell immediately and never come out.
How is that possible? Xia Yitong sneered in her heart, thinking that he was underestimating her.
Because she was abandoned at a young age, Xia Yitong is more inferior, sensitive, and fragile than her peers. She is easily trapped in her own negative emotions, but she is also much stronger than others because she knows clearly that as long as she overcomes those negative emotions, she will become stronger than before. This is what the director of the welfare home, who is like a teacher and a mother, taught her. Her life is a growth in countless self-denial and self-affirmation.
There was a voice in my heart saying, "Look at what you are like? A little setback has brought you down like this? You doubt others and yourself, like a maggot hiding in a cesspool."
"The earth is still spinning, and the world is not destroyed. Why do you want to destroy yourself? There are so many possibilities in life, and every path you take is your own choice. Just because you hit a pit, you regret it? Do you respect yourself?"
The mirror reflected an old house with green walls and white tiles. On the first day a girl in dirty clothes stepped through the door, she swore to the outside world that she would make those who abandoned her regret it.
In her first year of school, the girl wrote her first heartfelt sentence in Chinese characters she had learned: "I will definitely make a name for myself."
The girl grew into a young woman, and the first time she saw Lu Yinbing, she vowed to be by her side.
She pulled herself away from her blind worship and thought calmly, "Didn't Lu Yinbing just throw a bottle at you? It was an accident. She is a human, not a god. How can she satisfy all your needs? Even if she is a god, there are times when she can't respond to requests. It's okay to be sad for a while, but are you going to jump into the Huangpu River? Xia Yitong, don't forget, what do you want? What are you chasing after?"
Her heart suddenly shook, and she suddenly had an epiphany. She lived until now not for anyone, but for herself and everything she cared about. The bottle was just a bottle, and Lu Yinbing was the most important.
"Even if she doesn't take you seriously, so what? You've only known her for a few days. Even if she only considers you as an acquaintance, so what? Does she consider you a friend? Feel it with your heart, not your eyes. The ancients said: Take it slow. You are so eager for success now, what are you afraid of?"
—What are you afraid of
After hearing these words, the crowds dispersed. Xia Yitong saw the real herself in the mirror. She was calm and composed and asked: Yes, you are no longer the crying kid. What are you afraid of
When she was a child, she was afraid of being abandoned, and she was abandoned in the end. Life in the orphanage was not as bad as she thought, or rather, it was much better than her original life. Although she was bullied and isolated, at least she had enough food and clothing and could go to school. The director loved her intelligence and let her learn music. To some extent, it made up for her lack of family care. She had a good personality and the children in the orphanage were willing to play with her.
When she grew up, she fell in love with a person who was out of her reach. She was afraid that she would not be able to make a name for herself in the entertainment industry, that she would not be able to get close to her, and that one day she would die of exhaustion on a plane while running around for announcements, or faint on the set. She was afraid that she would not be able to play the role of Chen Qing well.
She has so many fears, one after another, all of which are surrounding her life. Not only her, but everyone is afraid of birth, aging, sickness and death, and the impermanence of life. Because of the fear in her heart, she tries her best.
Looking back, in the past month, she and Lu Yinbing went from being strangers to Lu Yinbing often taking the initiative to run to her, saying "I was bored, came to see you." When they were in the same room, although she was tortured at night, Lu Yinbing would help her rest, squeeze toothpaste for her, speak to her gently, and help her to confront Qin Hanlin. Although she wanted to confront him every time and used her as an excuse, it also proved from another perspective that she was at least not so unfamiliar with herself. People in the circle heard that Lu Yinbing was difficult to get along with, and Lu Yinbing's eyes told her: If the rumors outside were not wrong, then she looked at herself differently.
She had already taken so many steps, why would she hesitate and retreat at the last minute? The worst that could happen was that she would have to go back to where she was. She had to live even if she went back to where she was, and she couldn't just die right there. She had to live a colorful life, so that she would be worthy of her parents for saving her life. She had tried hard and struggled, and she didn't regret it.
Xia Yitong took the opportunity to imagine the extreme assumption that "Lu Yinbing is actually married, but just didn't tell anyone outside", and her heart, liver, spleen, lungs and kidneys were instantly tortured. The negative emotions brought about by the wishing bottle were immediately swept away by stronger and more complex emotions, and she almost vomited on the spot.
It can be said that this is really fighting poison with poison.
Xia Yitong choked and started coughing, "Water."
Fang Wei had been sitting next to her for so long that she saw her face change from gloomy to bright, then her eyes became serious, and suddenly her brows were tightly furrowed. Finally, she heard her first words and hurriedly handed her the water.
Even in this situation, Xia Yitong still carefully poured the liquid into her mouth in small sips, for fear of smudging her lip makeup.
After drinking the water, she asked, "What time is it?"
Fang Wei looked at her phone: "Eight o'clock."
"Let's go, let's go to the set, someone will call us soon."
Fang Wei looked at her expression and confirmed that she was fully revived. She felt relieved. The new wishing bottle filled with stars was in her bag. She thought about it and decided to put the matter aside until the evening when Xia Yitong's emotions were more stable.
Who knew Xia Yitong would bring this up on her own initiative: "Have you bought my new bottle?"
"alright."
"show me."
Fang Wei hesitated for a moment, then took it out and gave it to her. The new bottle was square, the original was round, and the ribbon was replaced with a unique red string. It was very different from beginning to end. Xia Yitong looked at it, smiled, and said, "That's thoughtful. Keep it. Give it to me in the evening."
"Okay." Fang Wei also smiled and made the signature gesture of a eunuch in a TV drama, and said in a shrill voice, "Yes, I respect the order of Concubine Chen." Not to mention, she acted quite decently.
Xia Yitong taught her with a stern face: "This time we can't say "yeah", we have to say "yes"."
Fang Hui: "I haven't finished the last play yet."
"I think you're pretty good at acting as a young eunuch. Hey, do you remember Director Liu Zheng who likes to shoot palace dramas? I'd like to recommend you to him and let you be the royal eunuch in his drama. How about that?"
Fang Hui hesitated for a moment and said seriously: "It's good, but I still want to play a serious third female role, even a vicious female supporting role is fine."
"Ah? You really want to act?"
Fang Hui also let out an "ah" and burst out laughing, "I was just kidding."
"You scared me." Xia Yitong patted his chest.
"Acting is too tiring. If I don't agree with you, I'll be criticized," Fang Wei said, trembling. "I'd better stay as an assistant. I can get a good meal by following Teacher Xia."
Fang Hui opened the dressing room door for Xia Yitong and asked her to go out first. Xia Yitong turned around and said, "If you really want to act, I can help you with something. It's okay. Don't be so formal with me."
Fang Wei waved her hands quickly, wishing she could completely distance herself from the entertainment industry: "I really don't want to act. I'm too sensitive to people asking about my family. But if there's any extras, like pretending to be a corpse, I can go."
Xia Yitong sighed: "Look at what you have accomplished."
"That's all I can do, so what?" Fang Wei saw that she was in a good mood, so she just scolded her about some unimportant things as she did in private.
"No, I can't afford to offend you."
Xia Yitong and Fang Hui were talking and laughing, while Lu Yinbing was worried and wanted to pull Xia Yitong over to ask her about it. If she was particularly angry about her, she would try to coax her in a gentle manner. Xia Yitong liked her so much that she would surely be coaxed by coaxing her a little more. Then she could ask her out for dinner and she could eat and watch. And, what else…
Before she could think about it, the filming of today's scenes started.
The shoot lasted from around eight in the morning to seven in the afternoon. Xia Yitong was in very good shape today, and Qin Hanlin praised her several times. But Lu Yinbing looked at her from left to right and felt that she was pretending.
After finishing the filming, Xia Yitong removed her makeup, packed her things, and said goodbye to Lu Yinbing who was still on the set as before: "Teacher Lu, see you tonight." She was going to eat, so she took Fang Hui to a restaurant to eat ice cream and buy some things.
Lu Yinbing responded blankly: "See you tonight."
Xia Yitong left, but Lu Yinbing never turned his head.
Xiaoxi shouted in her ear: "Little sister?"
"ah?"
Lu Yinbing bit his lower lip, his eyebrows knitted together for the first time: "Xia Yitong..."
"What happened to Teacher Xia?"
"Is she having another attack? Why do I feel like she's not mad at me anymore?"
Xiaoxi: “…”
It’s not good for people not to be angry with you. Your mind is so complicated, little sister.
Lu Yinbing added: "He must be acting like me. I don't believe it."
So after Lu Yinbing returned to the hotel, he took a quick shower, changed into pajamas, and lay down in the quilt, wrapped in two layers. The air-conditioning temperature was 24 degrees.
It was almost ten o'clock when Xia Yitong came back, holding a fan in her arms, and greeted her happily: "Good evening, Teacher Lu!"
Lu Yinbing: “…”