Du Ruo lost sleep.
The lights in the dormitory were turned off at eleven, and she lay in the dark with her eyes wide open.
The night is emotionally sensitive.
She was stuffy and hard to breathe, and the emotions that could not be relieved were rolling in her chest, as if the balloon that was about to explode was about to reach the critical point but missed the last breath, there was nowhere to vent, there was no outlet, and soon, the melancholy in her heart turned into negation .
She doesn't like him.
How can you like him
She is defiant, careless, has a bad temper, and even despises her.
She was restless, and when she turned around on the bed for the umpteenth time, He Huanhuan from the next bed asked softly, "Xiaocao, can't you sleep?"
"Well. I ate too much at night and feel uncomfortable." She replied with a guilty conscience. Fortunately, it was dark all around, and the lying expression would not be found.
"Me too. My stomach is so full, it's uncomfortable." He Huanhuan rubbed her belly and complained in a low voice, "I shouldn't have eaten that bunch of grapes just now."
Before the words fell, Qiu Yuchen complained in a low voice in the darkness: "Eating before going to bed, you deserve it to death."
"You didn't fall asleep either?"
"And me." Xia Nan sighed and turned over.
"What's the matter with everyone today?" He Huan said happily, giggling, "Let's talk, let's talk!"
"What are you talking about?" Du Ruo asked, she also wanted to chat at the moment, she could talk about anything, just don't let her be entangled at night alone.
"Xia Nan, let's talk about your love history." He Huanhuan suggested.
"I'm curious too!" Du Ruo seconded.
Xia Nan snorted: "What's there to say, every paragraph is the same. If you like it, stay together; if you don't like it, separate."
"How long have you talked?"
"One in junior high school and one in high school."
"Where's Yuchen?"
"One in high school, oh, and one crush, which didn't work out."
"Will there be a lot of romantic plots? We will be intimate every day, as sweet as sugar." He Huanhuan said with anticipation.
Xia Nan said lightly: "Have you read too many novels? The reality is not like that."
Du Ruo asked: "What is that?"
"You will be nice to me, and I will be nice to you, but you will lose your temper with me, and I will quarrel with you. How can there be so many romances in idol dramas? In reality, there are always countless contradictions and frictions. and quarrel."
"Yes." Qiu Yuchen agreed.
Du Ruo was puzzled: "Since it's so troublesome, why do you all want to fall in love?"
"Ah, this question... Impulse? Instinct? I don't know." Qiu Yuchen greeted, "Xia Nan, why do people want to fall in love?"
Xia Nan yawned: "Because love can be cured by its sweetness. That kind of sweetness will make you forget all its unpleasantness and forgive everything easily."
Everyone did not answer the conversation at the same time, and the surroundings suddenly became quiet.
The sweetness of love will make people forgive the bitterness of life.
Yeah? Du Ruo was puzzled.
In her heart, at least now, all she can feel is bitterness, astringent bitterness.
Of course, it wouldn't be love either. In her opinion, love is something too deep.
Rather than a cloud of fog that makes people lose their way.
At first, it is clearly annoying, but when the attention itself is unscrupulous under the "hate" coat, once the coat is stripped off, you will find that the attention hidden underneath has already quietly changed.
She couldn't tell when this change came from.
She didn't want to think about it, but forcibly suppressed the surging emotions in her heart, and closed her eyes forcefully.
…
The busy Friday has passed, and the midterm exam is finally over.
On the weekend, Du Ruo went to Xiangshan for an autumn tour with the whole class.
It's red leaf season, and it's Saturday again. There are many tourists and crowds on the mountain road. This group of fresh-faced and clean-faced students mixed among uncles and aunts, middle-aged couples, and young lovers, and moved slowly to the top of the mountain with the crowd.
He Yi sighed: "In Beijing, you shouldn't go out on weekends. Everywhere you go, there are crowds of people. Now, where is Xiangshan leaf appreciation, head appreciation is almost the same."
Li Wei reassured: "Just think of climbing a mountain, or exercise."
Du Ruo was quite willing.
Firstly, she had just passed the exam, and her studies were easy; secondly, she was bored, and mountain climbing was just what she wanted. Looking up from a distance, the leaves in the mountains are red like fire, which is quite spectacular, which naturally makes people open their minds, and forget what they should think about or not.
Until passing a maple tree, a branch was pressed down low, and the road was red and red. She looked up at the red leaves, and accidentally saw a strange leaf.
Among the red leaves in the tree, there is only one leaf, which is small in the shape of a palm, but has three colors: red, yellow, and green, and it just divides the leaves into three equal parts.
What a beauty.
If only he could see it.
Thinking of this, she tiptoed to pick off the leaf, wrapped it in toilet paper and put it in the notepad very carefully, for fear of damaging it.
The moment she lightly closed the pad, she clearly felt that she liked him very much.
Along the way, she no longer had the heart to look at the scenery.
The best scenery was in her pocket, but she didn't know how to deal with it, and her mood became cloudy.
After returning to the dormitory, Du Ruo sat alone for a long time.
On Saturday night, Xia Nan and Qiu Yuchen all went home, and He Huanhuan went to foreign economic and trade to find her high school classmates and would not come back tonight.
Du Ruo only turned on a desk lamp, and the three-color maple leaf was placed under the lamp.
After sitting for a while, she turned on the computer and watched research videos from foreign universities. For some reason, I couldn't bear to watch, and kept glancing at the red leaves.
She pushed the computer away irritably, lowered her head, hugged her head with both hands, and silently recited the series circuit and parallel circuit in her heart.
After a while, she continued watching the video, grabbing a notebook and pen to transcribe notes.
At a certain moment, I accidentally caught a glimpse of the time displayed on the computer as seven o'clock in the evening.
What is he doing at this time
In the dormitory, or at home
She suddenly pulled off the earphones angrily, slammed the pen on the table, couldn't sit still, stood up, kicked the chair hard, and the innocent chair was kicked loudly. Pressing her forehead with both hands, she walked around the table and read aloud: "If the amplifier has strong AC noise, you may consider replacing the non-inductive adjustment rod when adjusting the potentiometer..."
Gradually, she slowed down, sat down gently, and adjusted the chair, but turned her head to see the floor mirror behind the door—the girl was alone, sitting in this beam of light in the dark.
She was wearing an ordinary pink sweater, which was knitted by her mother, and she spent half an hour cleaning the balls from it last week.
Her hair had grown a little, covering her ears and coming down to her chin. I don't know if it's because of the lights, but it's not as dark and yellow as it was when I entered school in summer;
It doesn't seem ugly, but it's not very pretty either.
A face that you can't find if you throw it in the crowd.
She suddenly felt sad to death.
Looking at the leaf on the table, she originally planned to carry it with her, and if she met him alone one day, she would take it out and pretend unintentionally, "Look."
Maybe, his eyes would stay on her hand for a few seconds, thinking it was interesting; maybe, he would look away boredly, and forget it in a blink of an eye.
But now, she put the leaf back into the pad, pushed it aside, let out a low cry, and buried her head on the table.
Secret love is not a good thing, it shatters the already fragile self-esteem into dust.
It hurts.
It would be fine if I looked up and suddenly stopped liking him.
The phone on the table rang, Du Ruo looked up, it was Li Wei.
"Hello?"
"Du Ruo, didn't you have dinner? We came back from Xiangshan too late, and the cafeteria was out of food, so we ran out to eat as a class dinner. You come too."
How could she be in the mood, she just wanted to be alone in the dark and didn't want to go out: "I..."
Just about to speak, I heard Jing Ming talking to someone on the other end: "There are not many people, but it's not fun."
His voice was not loud, but she could hear him clearly.
Du Ruo inadvertently sat up straight: "Where are you?"
…
At seven or eight o'clock in the evening, the campus is quiet and quiet, but the outside is very lively. The vehicles on the road are like schools of fish swimming in the river.
Du Ruo trotted past the brightly lit storefronts, walked into a food street, and found the restaurant Li Wei mentioned amidst the tangy aroma.
She scratched her hair to tidy up, and licked her lips that were dry from running.
Pushing open the door and entering the box, more than 20 boys sat around a big table.
She saw Jing Ming at a glance, he lowered his head slightly, unexpectedly quiet, he didn't know what he was thinking.
And her overwhelming emotions of the day calmed down inexplicably at this moment.
"Du Ruo, you're here." Wan Ziang was the first to spot her and waved at her, "There's a seat reserved for you."
The private room wasn't noisy at all, and everyone didn't speak too loudly. Wan Ziang's greeting stopped everyone from talking, and they all looked over, except for Jingming.
He was thinking about something, as if he hadn't heard her name.
Du Ruo sat between Wan Ziang and Li Wei.
Wan Ziang asked, "What drink would you like to drink?"
Du Ruo: "No, just like everyone else, just drink water."
"Who said we drank water, we will drink later."
Du Ruo: "... ah..."
On the opposite side, Zeng Kefan joked: "Then don't drink, just drink with us."
Du Ruo waved his hand immediately: "I don't know how to drink."
"Really not?"
"No way. I've never drank it. Why are you lying to me?"
"Never drank?"
"Um."
"Try it later and see what it tastes like."
Du Ruo covered her eyes with one hand and smiled: "..." Knowing that he was teasing her, she still made a pleading look in cooperation, "Can't you let me go?"
Now, some other boys helped her: "Don't pay attention to him. I'll feed him later."
Zeng Kefan clutched his chest and raised his head and wailed: "I was just joking, why did I become a public enemy?"
Du Ruo laughed, but from the corner of her eye, she hurriedly glanced at Jing Ming beside Li Wei, only seeing his side face. Since she entered the room, he has been very quiet, neither talking nor looking at her.
He is familiar with the students in her class, but for some reason, he has been very quiet.
There was a lot of laughter here, and the boy next to Jing Ming said something in a low voice, Jing Ming tilted his head slightly to listen, and smiled after listening. The smile was short and superficial, not much of a smile.
What's up with him? Have something on your mind? Du Ruo was uneasy.
Jing Ming seemed to feel the gaze from the other end, and looked sideways. The light shone on the glass turntable and reflected into his eyes, shining like stars.
Du Ruo was startled, and immediately sat back, blocking the sight of the two with Li Wei.
After a while, the food was served.
Li Wei asked her if she wanted to drink.
Du Ruo said, "I'll take a sip."
He really poured a sip of wine into the bottom of her glass, she drank it and stuck out her tongue: "It's not good."
Everyone laughed and didn't make things difficult for her.
"Then stop drinking." Wan Ziang removed the wine glass in front of her.
Jing Ming didn't drink too much, he picked up the food in front of him and chewed a few mouthfuls, not in the mood to eat.
There was a boy smoking during the dinner, and he handed him a cigarette, but he raised his hand and declined, "No."
Du Ruo was also a little bit less interested.
After a while, Jing Ming suddenly whispered to Li Wei: "I thought about it, this specification is not good now, and the overall speed has to be increased. Make a new standard watch at night."
Li Wei: "Then you have to eat before leaving."
"Yeah." He seemed to have figured out what was going on in his mind, and then he gained an appetite, and started chatting with the people at the same table.
So it turned out, Du Ruo let out a sigh of relief, and ate the vegetables.
On the way, she accidentally dripped oil on her sleeve, and she got up to go to the bathroom.
Wet the sleeves, stuck to the hand sanitizer, and was rubbing the stains, when I heard Jing Ming's voice outside: "What's the matter?"
Then came Li Wei's lowered voice: "Min Enzhu cried with me for a long time, I guess she meant that she wanted me to ask you.... This time, can't we make up?"
Jing Ming: "I can't."
Du Ruo was taken aback.
Outside, Li Wei also sighed: "Have you figured it out?"
"Heh," Jing Ming thought it was ridiculous, "When did I think things through?"
"You said that you have been together for so long, and the trouble will pass..."
"Are you finished?" Jing Ming interrupted impatiently.
Li Wei fell silent.
After a while, Jing Ming's tone softened a bit: "I am very clear about the path I will take in the future, and she is not my fellow traveler. She can't even provide basic support."
Li Wei said now: "Understood. I won't persuade you anymore."
Footsteps leave.
The stains on Du Ruo's sleeves have also been wiped clean.
She turned on the faucet to make foam, then pursed her lips and smiled.