The two beams of chasing light hit Jiang Cheng and Wang Xu, making it so bright that people couldn't see what was around them. Jiang Cheng even felt the burning temperature in the beams.
From the edge of the stage to the middle of the stage, about five or six steps, sweat dripped from Jiang Cheng's forehead.
It's a cold sweat.
The applause and cheers and screams from the audience made Wang Xu very excited. Jiang Cheng saw Wang Xu's light footsteps in the dizzying light.
He walked towards the piano with his back to the auditorium. He didn't have the courage to look back. In this second, he no longer knew what was in his mind.
My fingers were cold and a little stiff. In fact, it wasn't just my fingers, my whole arm was a little stiff and soft. When I sat on the bench, I could hardly even lift the lid of the piano.
Yuguang was forcibly closed at this time, and only a dazzling light surrounded him, which seemed to cut off all sounds and images.
Can't hear, can't see.
All I can think about is the empty seat I just saw.
Gu Fei was not in his seat.
He didn't look at it. Although there were still many people standing and walking in the aisle, for him, even if it was just a piece of Gu Fei's clothes, he could see and recognize it.
Gu Fei was no longer in the auditorium.
He didn't know what kind of mood he was in at this moment. He was so confused that he couldn't guess and judge, and he couldn't think anything.
When I was fascinated by the black and white keys, everything around me was turned into chaos by the empty space.
"Jiang Cheng," he heard Wang Xu's voice, "Jiang Cheng! Damn it! Jiang Cheng, what's wrong with you? Are you alright! Jiang Cheng?"
He looked up and saw Wang Xu's anxious and nervous face above the piano: "Uncomfortable?"
"No." Jiang Cheng took a breath, and the surrounding things slowly became clear, with outlines appearing, and the voice in his ears suddenly became louder.
The applause had stopped, and the screams had thinned, save for a few whistles from time to time.
"We'll change to another show if you're not feeling well," Wang Xu said in a low voice worriedly, "You don't look good, are you too nervous?"
"It's okay," Jiang Cheng smiled, "Get ready."
"Okay." Wang Xu adjusted the guitar and swiped his fingers lightly on the strings.
With this string of notes, the atmosphere under the stage was lifted again.
Gu Fei is no longer below, I don't know why, I don't know where he is, I don't know if he can hear it, or if he wants to hear it again.
Jiang Cheng took a breath, and stopped thinking about it. He chose to participate in the show, he chose Gu Fei's song, and he chose to let Lao Xu know.
As for whether the host heard it when Lao Xu was showing off to other teachers in a low voice, and why he said it on his own accord during the announcement, it doesn't matter anymore.
All of this has already happened, and now the upset, panic, and confusion are meaningless.
He was still sitting here, facing the song that he had already mastered in his heart. He wanted Gu Fei to hear it, but he also wanted to hear it for himself.
He rarely thinks about "what if" and "what if", but when what if and what if are in front of him, he still greets them without thinking much.
Jiang Cheng rubbed his hands together and shook it again, low laughter could be heard from the audience.
He turned his head and glanced at the auditorium, a smile twitched at the corner of his mouth, raised his hand and landed on the key, when the first note came out from his fingertips, it suddenly fell silent.
Until Wang Xu's guitar came in three bars later, he didn't turn his head to look at the piano, he kept looking at the audience under the stage, listening to their applause from the moment when the guitar chords sounded as if they had come to their senses.
During the guitar interlude, he turned back and looked at his fingers. There was no other sound in his ears, only the melody of the guitar.
Wang Xu played at an exceptional level. He glanced at Yi Jing, who had already stepped onto the stage and took a photo of them with a camera. Wang Xu turned to her with a guitar and took two steps. It is estimated that the expression on his face was the same as his clothes. As cool as the silver dragon on it.
After a beautiful glissando, Jiang Cheng's piano sounded again.
Applause and screams erupted again from the audience.
Jiang Cheng smiled. If my mother knew that such elegant music from the piano was drowned out by such noise, I don't know how she would feel.
But now he's in a lighter mood.
At this moment, when the tune he didn't like came out of the tune he liked written by the person he liked, it brought him a piano full of depression and boredom, and it gave him pleasure for the first time. experience.
only.
Where have you been, bastard.
You haven't heard me play the piano.
I haven't played the piano for a long time and thought I would never play the piano again.
This piece was played for you, and you ran away.
When the ensemble ended with the gentle strumming of Wang Xu's guitar, Jiang Cheng gently closed the lid of the guitar, stood up, and bowed to the audience.
"Jiang Cheng, I love you—" a girl below screamed and shouted.
Jiang Cheng turned around and walked off the stage amid the indistinguishable noise from the audience.
The teachers and classmates in the background also applauded.
"Okay! It's really great! This show is the best show in the history of No. 4 Middle School!" Lao Lu shouted loudly while applauding.
Lao Xu didn't speak. When Jiang Cheng looked at him, he just nodded vigorously. Jiang Cheng saw tears in his eyes.
Jiang Cheng sighed helplessly: "I'm going to... the toilet."
"How's it going?" Wang Xuchong asked excitedly, Yi Jing, who followed them down, "What did you think when you just heard it?"
"It's really great." Yi Jing said with a smile.
When Jiang Cheng came out of the backstage door, the classmates next to the exit suddenly burst into commotion, and several mobile phones were raised.
He bowed his head and walked quickly out of the auditorium door.
There were many students waiting outside the door, and when he came out, he once again attracted onlookers.
"Jiang Cheng," someone called out to him, "Isn't the song really written by Gu Fei? It's too awesome, isn't it?"
Jiang Cheng didn't say a word, and didn't look over there. He walked forward along the wall of the auditorium, and quickly turned a corner, throwing away the exclamations and discussions behind him.
The originally calm mood was suddenly disturbed again by this sentence.
The panic and unsteadiness that had temporarily sunk to the bottom, the subtle confusion and the pent-up anger in the vague unhappiness, all slowly dissipated from the bottom to the top at this moment.
Jiang Cheng didn't want to go to the toilet, but he went to the toilet anyway.
All the way, he put his hands in his pockets and held his mobile phone, but he never took it out. There were no students on the playground. When he got to the toilet, he saw only a cleaning aunt walking past the playground with a bucket.
After entering the toilet, when Jiang Cheng took his hand out of his pocket, he realized that his palm was covered in sweat.
He stood in front of the urinal for a while, feeling the urge to pee seriously.
not at all.
Except for the anger that slowly turned from panic and anxiety.
He turned around and walked out of the toilet again, took out his phone and glanced at it.
As he had expected, there was no news from Gu Fei, no news, no missed calls, and no information that he thought he hadn't heard because it was too noisy before.
At this moment, all his emotions towards Gu Fei turned into anger.
He sat on the stone bench next to him, took out his mobile phone and prepared to call Gu Fei.
Dog fucked 10,000 times!
Say whatever you want, quarrel and fight, what are you missing
As soon as he dialed Gu Fei's number, he saw someone walking towards him from the corner of his recovered light. Jiang Cheng's fingers that wanted to dial the number twitched slightly and stopped.
It was Gu Fei.
He originally wanted to confront Gu Fei wholeheartedly. If there is something wrong with him, or if Gu Fei is uncomfortable, if he says it face to face, it will be a big fight.
But now that Gu Fei suddenly appeared like this, he suddenly became nervous again.
say what
How to say
Who starts
What happened to Gu Fei
All kinds of questions that had been torn apart by irritability and anger all returned to their place, and became a lump in his throat, and he almost wanted to cough twice to clear his throat.
"Brother Cheng." Gu Fei stood beside him.
"Ah." Jiang Cheng turned his phone, but didn't move, staring at the grass that burrowed out of a crack in the cement floor in front of him.
"Let's talk?" Gu Fei said.
"Whatever," Jiang Cheng said, "you can chat if you want, or just leave it if you don't want to."
"Let's go," Gu Fei said, "Go out for a walk."
Jiang Cheng put the phone back in his pocket, stood up, didn't look at Gu Fei, and walked directly to the back door of the school.
Gu Fei's footsteps followed behind him, but he was always behind him, and he didn't catch up with him as usual.
At this time, the snack street at the back door has not yet ushered in the busiest time of the day. At this time, only a few stalls have been set up, and the owner is sitting lazily on the chair.
Jiang Cheng didn't know where to go, he just casually walked along the road, stepping on the black oil mud on the ground softened by the sun, and the sound of footsteps could no longer be heard.
He tilted his head back, and Gu Fei walked up quickly and followed him to the left.
He walked aimlessly all the way to the bridge, Jiang Cheng hesitated for a while and walked along the broken dirt road at the end of the bridge to the river again, stepping on the rotten ground to break through the dirt, watching the riverbed where there was never any water and walking forward for a while, He stopped.
"What am I doing to you?" Jiang Cheng looked at Gu Fei.
"Why didn't you tell me you wanted to play my tune?" Gu Fei asked.
"Just for this?" Jiang Cheng frowned, "Then I'll apologize to you, I didn't think..."
"No," Gu Fei interrupted him, "I'm not for this, you can play whatever you want, but in the future..."
Jiang Cheng looked at him.
Gu Fei couldn't see the emotion on his face, this person will always be like this, no matter what he says, as long as he doesn't mean it, it's hard for you to see anything from his expression or his eyes.
"Don't say my name in the future." Gu Fei said.
"What the hell is going on?" Jiang Cheng leaned back on a small tree. As soon as he leaned on it, he felt that something on the trunk had stabbed him, and it hurt a lot. He quickly stood up straight again, the pain made him Some couldn't hold back the fire, "What else? Big brother in the third year of high school, it's just this time, do you think I'm busy? I'm in a hurry!"
Gu Fei did not speak, and sighed softly.
Jiang Cheng stared for a long time before turning around to find the point of his words. Although he had already had a hunch when he heard the host say Gu Fei's name, but when he heard Gu Fei say it himself, he still felt that he couldn't. Understanding: "What's wrong with your name? Why are you unwilling to participate in the show, and you can't even report your name?"
"It's nothing," Gu Fei said, "I don't think so..."
"First," Jiang Cheng took a step forward and stared into his eyes, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I used your song. Second, I didn't ask me to say the words "composer Gu Fei". I only wrote about me and Wang Xu, and thirdly, when Lao Xu guessed that it was you who composed the music, I didn't stare at him and tell him that it was my fault to tell him not to say it."
Gu Fei looked at him and said nothing.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why you're like this, I'm sorry, I don't know why you can't take part in these activities, I don't know why you keep your distance from everyone, I don't know why you stay away from normal school life forever Jiang Cheng’s voice rose a little bit, and all the confusion and troubles he had caused because of Gu Fei’s state for so long erupted a little bit, “So I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have thought about being able to come on stage with you! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have tried to surprise you even if you didn't want to! I'm sorry! Is this okay? I'm sorry Gu Fei! I'm so fucking stupid, I don't know what you're thinking!"
"Brother Cheng," Gu Fei frowned, reached out and grabbed his arm, "Don't be angry yet."
"Don't touch me!" Jiang Cheng roared and threw away his hand, "I said, if you fucking have anything, just tell me! If you don't want to tell me, don't let me know! There are only two ways! Pull J8 down!"
"Okay," Gu Fei looked at him, "Do you think I'm pretty good, I'm pretty good, I'm better than many people around me."
"Don't be shameless!" Jiang Cheng said, "I'll give you a face and praise you, and you're taking it seriously! You just have a better face and longer legs, what else!"
Gu Fei sighed, turned around, touched a cigarette, took it out, and squatted down against the riverbed.
Jiang Cheng stared at his back for a long time, and finally said: "Yes, I think you are excellent, talented, and smart. Not only do I think so, Lao Xu also thinks so."
"So what?" Gu Fei asked again with a cigarette in his mouth.
"So what? So what?" Jiang Cheng asked a little irritably.
"I'm excellent, talented, and smart," Gu Fei tilted his head, "so what?"
"Why the hell!" Jiang Cheng roared, "I just want people to know that you're not what you look like, you're not the same as those rubbish in the steel mill! I just want you to know! Come with me! Everyone I see here is different! You are 10,000 times stronger than them!"
"And then!" Gu Fei also roared, stood up, turned around and walked in front of him, staring at him face to face, "Then what? Brother Cheng, then what? Do you know what kind of life I live? Do you know what kind of life I have been living since I can remember? Do you know!"
Jiang Cheng was stunned by his yelling. If he remembered correctly, this was the first time that Gu Fei had lost control of his emotions, and the first time he yelled at him like this, even sticking to his face, he even felt dizzy from the shock.
"What do you want me to know? Know how good I am, how good I am, and let everyone know how smart and talented I am? Then what?" Gu Fei lowered his voice, "Brother Cheng, you are out of place here. What does it feel like you know, right?"
Jiang Cheng looked at him.
"I fell asleep, and I didn't know anything," Gu Fei's voice trembled slightly, "Why do you have to wake me up? You can go, and you must go too, what about me?"
Jiang Cheng suddenly felt that his breathing was a little difficult. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't.
How does it feel to be out of place here
He felt it when he got off the train and took the first step out of the station.
That hopeless, gloomy eyes, he still remembers clearly now.
This is also the reason why he desperately wants to leave now.
"What about me? Brother Cheng," Gu Fei said softly, "I'm right here, I have shackles on my body, I don't know when I can take them off, maybe I can't take them off forever, then I just woke up like this, opened my eyes and watched, I will not be reconciled, I will suffer, you understand?"
Jiang Cheng looked at him.
"I know that I can obviously not live like those people, but I can only live that way now," Gu Fei squatted back by the river and lit a cigarette again, "I don't want to tell you these things, I'll just fall in love. I hope you're happy, it's simple, and there's no need to talk about these things that can't be changed and get upset."
Jiang Cheng didn't speak, he touched his pocket, but he didn't find a cigarette. He was going to go on stage today, so he didn't bring a cigarette on his body.
Gu Fei turned back and handed over the cigarette case and lighter.
He hesitated for a while, went over, took a cigarette and lit it, lit it with the cigarette in his mouth, watching the smoke drifting by in front of him, a few wisps rose up, twisted in the wind, flickering from side to side and quickly like During the dance, it faded in an instant, from a faint blue to the color of the invisible wind.
Gu Fei had never thought of these things.
He only felt that Gu Fei was like an eagle tied to a thin iron chain, but he never thought that Gu Fei himself felt the same way, so he closed his eyes, covered his head, and threw away anything other than keeping his balance. idea.
Jiang Cheng didn't know how he felt, his heart was filled with panic, and he suddenly felt a little regretful.
but…
That is, right now, after Gu Fei said these words, he suddenly realized that since that day, when discussing different places, he always felt that something was wrong, but he couldn't think of where the problem was, and he had the answer.
That is, Gu Fei doesn't seem to have the desire to struggle.
"It's Gu Miao, right?" Jiang Cheng also crouched down behind Gu Fei, "And your mother... No, it's mainly Gu Miao, right?"
"En." Gu Fei responded.
"Have you tried it?" Jiang Cheng bit his lip, he didn't know how to express it accurately, "Try to get her to accept some changes, little by little, hasn't she already gone to class, you can try... Maybe she just can't accept her things have changed, maybe..."
"Brother Cheng," Gu Fei pinched and stood up, "Let's go."
"Huh?" Jiang Cheng was stunned for a while, but he still stood up.
Gu Fei didn't speak any more, he was also silent.
Gu Fei took him home, and when he opened the door, Jiang Cheng recovered from the dullness, and forced a smile at Gu Miao who was sitting on the sofa in the living room painting, "Er Miao."
Gu Miao seemed very happy to see him, raised the painting in his hand and waved at him.
"Let me see," Jiang Cheng walked over and sat beside her, looking at the paper she was holding, "Is it a rabbit?"
Rabbits were drawn on the paper. There were many, and the paper was almost full. The rabbits were all green, just like Gu Fei's head.
Gu Miao took another piece of paper and continued to draw. She used green persistently to draw the exact same rabbit. It could be seen that she was very skilled at drawing. They arranged them one by one, and soon they would be able to draw all of them. A paper.
Jiang Cheng looked at her focused look, not knowing what to say.
"Er Miao," Gu Fei came over and squatted in front of Gu Miao, "Brother will discuss something with you."
Gu Miao held the pen and glanced at him while continuing to draw, and his eyes quickly returned to the tip of the pen.
"Er Miao, look at brother," Gu Fei said, "big brother has something to discuss with you."
Gu Miao paused for a while, then stopped writing and turned to look at him.
"Tonight," Gu Fei said slowly, "you sleep in mother's bed, okay?"
Gu Miao did not respond.
"Tonight you won't sleep on your own bed, nor on the sofa in your brother's room," Gu Fei said, "you sleep on the bed in mother's room."
Gu Miao still didn't respond, but just when Jiang Cheng thought she didn't understand Gu Fei's words, she suddenly started screaming.
The sharp voice cut through the silence in an instant, and like the tip of a knife pierced Jiang Cheng's eardrum.
Jiang Cheng only felt that he couldn't breathe, and the invisible huge pressure in his screams made him just want to go over and cover Gu Miao's mouth.
Gu Fei looked at Gu Miao quietly, took a breath after a while, and spoke to Gu Miao softly.
Jiang Cheng felt that he couldn't hear what he was talking about, but felt stuffy, stuffy in his heart, stuffy in his head, and stuffy in his ears.
When Gu Miao finally stopped screaming, Jiang Cheng had a strong urge to shout a few times.
"I tried it, Brother Cheng," Gu Fei grabbed his hand and said in a low voice, "but for many years, there has been no change. She was born here, grew up here, and the scope of her approval is the furthest. To the train station, that's where she skates, where she sleeps, right here, her bed, the couch in my room, you can narrow her, but you can't let her go."
Jiang Cheng looked at him, speechless.
"The cost of rehabilitation studies is not low. I can't get her to participate for a long time, so I don't know how long it will take for her to make a little progress. One or two years, three or five years, or ten or twenty years. Gu Fei's hand began to tremble slightly, "Or forever, I don't dare to think about it, I have no way to think about it, I can only walk with my head down, I don't know how far my hope is."
Jiang Cheng hugged Gu Fei and closed his eyes: "I'm sorry, Gu Fei, I'm sorry."
Gu Fei wrapped his arms around his waist and pressed his face against his chest.
In the quiet air, in the swishing sound of Gu Miao's brush, Jiang Cheng heard a low cry that he suppressed.