late at night.
Four o'clock in the morning.
The scorching summer wind was chilled by the night, blowing towards his face, Shen Wenqiu's head was unusually sober, he didn't feel sleepy at all, he just wanted to escape.
Escape, escape further, escape to a place where Lu Yong can't find it.
Shen Wenqiu walked on the side of the road with one foot shallow and one foot shallow. He wanted to find a suitable place, but he couldn't find it no matter how hard he searched, so he walked along the road randomly, stopping and walking.
He has nowhere to go.
Shen Wenqiu wanted to smoke, he touched his pocket, but there was only an empty cigarette case, which was gone, and he threw it into the trash can by the side of the road.
There were still a few crumpled banknotes and coins left in his pocket, not many, tens of dollars, he didn't count carefully.
After walking for a while, I saw an old man coming out with a trolley, with a sign of roasted sweet potatoes on it, and he was preparing to open for business, and he wanted to start earning breakfast money for the first wave of people who got up early and went to work.
Shen Wenqiu walked over and asked, "How do you sell sweet potatoes?"
The old man said, "Two yuan each."
Shen Wenqiu nodded and waited by the side of the road: "Give me one."
The old man packed up his things: "Okay, wait a minute."
Shen Wenqiu chatted with him without saying a word.
"Why did you start selling roasted sweet potatoes? Is the business good?"
"The weather is starting to get colder, and it's already beginning of autumn. Business is okay."
Shen Wenqiu was at a loss, is it already the beginning of autumn
Summer is over again.
"What's the date today? Do you know the lunar calendar?"
"Lunar calendar, the twenty-ninth day of the sixth lunar month."
"Oh."
A strong fragrance wafted out, Shen Wenqiu took the sweet potato wrapped in a paper bag, it was too hot, he carefully tore off two pieces of skin, exhaled, hissed and took a bite, and was laughed sweetly: " So sweet."
Shen Wenqiu took out all the change from his pocket and put it on the cart. Before the other party asked, he said, "I'll give it to you. You've worked hard. Anyway, I don't need it anymore."
"what?"
After speaking, Shen Wenqiu turned around, happily ate sweet potatoes and left.
Shen Wenqiu was full and energetic, and spent more than an hour walking back to the community where he used to live.
After waiting at the door for a few minutes, a child came out on a scooter and opened the door, and he quickly took the opportunity to slip in.
Shen Wenqiu wanted to see his family's old house. He heard that because they had gone bankrupt as the old owner, they were said to have bad geomantic omen and could not be sold. He thought they would see a barren and deserted scene.
But when he really got there, he found that it was different from what he thought, and it was actually sold! His house has a new owner. The yard has been refurbished and is lush. From a distance, the decoration inside can be vaguely seen from the large French windows. The house is still the same, but the inside has been completely replaced.
This is not his home anymore.
The carved black iron fence was covered with Longsha gemstones. Shen Wenqiu approached lightly, peeping through the gaps between the flowers and leaves. There was a little girl playing on a swing, singing:
"The swing is high, swinging through the treetops. The treetops nodded and smiled, and praised me as a brave baby..."
That swing is an old thing. When he was in kindergarten, he won the first prize in a drawing competition. His parents asked him what reward he wanted, and he asked his father to make him a swing in the yard.
Two days later, my father asked someone to install a swing for him, a big swing, and the three of them could sit on it together.
When he saw the little girl, he seemed to see himself as a child, carefree and fascinated for a moment.
Both laughing, infected by this happiness, and sad, because in this, there will be no more laughter related to him.
The little girl was playing, and looked in his direction suspiciously. When she saw him, the little girl jumped off the swing and ran into the house, yelling childishly: "Mom! There is a strange monster outside!" Uncle is watching me!"
Shen Wenqiu was taken aback, he was like a thief who had been knocked over, and fled from his former home.
The trot gradually turned into a fast run. The faster he ran, the stronger the oncoming wind could dry up the moisture in his eyes.
Shen Wenqiu left the community and kept running along the road, regardless of the direction.
He remembered how Lu Yong was sitting at the gambling table yesterday, and he realized how self-defeating he had been in the past few years.
When I was in H City, I also said that I escaped from my original life, plugged my ears and pretended to turn a blind eye, and lived a good life of deceiving myself and others indifferently.
Now that he came back, there was no way to hide, and all the failures and depravity were unavoidably drawn on his face again, making him clearly see what kind of social trash he was.
The last sliver of false peace between Lian and Lu Yong was tragically torn apart.
They are no longer the same way.
He now regrets like never before.
Why did he keep remembering Lu Yong's phone number? Why did he ask the police to call Lu Yong? Why didn't he refuse Lu Yonglai's take-in? Why did he hang on
How did Lu Yong treat him? Why did he come back to Lu Yong? If he hadn't appeared, Lu Yong wouldn't have noticed that he had become like this.
It's better to die quietly, at least in Lu Yong's memory, he can still retain a final good image. Lu Yong had some lingering liking for the clean him before, so how disappointed is he with the current him? Even he himself hates himself so much, who would like him
Shen Wenqiu ran into a nearby park.
He used to walk his dog here often, and he couldn't remember how many times he took Nai Gao for a walk with Lu Yong, chatting and laughing. He didn't know how long he had been running, the pain and depression in his chest suppressed all other feelings, he ran, ran to the end of the park, ran up a bridge, until he couldn't run anymore, he couldn't breathe I was so angry that I stopped.
Muscles in both legs trembled, and he couldn't even stand upright. Shen Wenqiu pressed his chest and slowly squatted down, looking at the concrete floor with blurred vision. He didn't know whether it was sweat or tears that fell into the dust, blurring small holes. polka dot.
He was kneeling on the ground, retching physically and mentally, coughing and retching non-stop.
He really wanted to spit out his dirty soul. But no.
A pair of brown and black square-toed men's leather shoes appeared in his lower field of vision. Shen Wenqiu looked up, his eyes only stopped at the straight trouser legs, and saw the rough and broad palms, so he didn't have to humiliate himself anymore. look up.
"Shen Wenqiu. You stand up." Lu Yong said, "I won't help you, you stand up by yourself."
After a few minutes, Shen Wenqiu got up from the ground tremblingly with his hands on the ground, and stood up, but he couldn't stand upright or steady, as if he might fall down at any time.
The river is very windy.
Shen Wenqiu felt that he was shaken by the blow, and he had no strength. He only stood for a while, regardless of Lu Yong's words, he sat down on the ground, looking up at Lu Yong like a beggar.
He had no way out, no place to hide, his body seemed to be hollowed out, he stared at Lu Yong numbly and calmly, his mouth and vocal cords automatically came into being, and said in the most vicious tone he could do: "You fucking Do you have to come and see my jokes? Didn’t I leave you a note telling you not to look for me? I beg you, brother, why are you so haunted? Because I asked you to borrow Money? It’s just a few thousand dollars, you can treat it as charity, do you care about that little money?”
Lu Yong drove so long yesterday, got out of the car and was taken to the casino, and then came out of the police station. He didn't sleep for more than 30 hours, and it was not decent. His eyes were red and his hair was messy. The prosthesis was never removed, and after wearing it for too long, the section of the severed limb began to ache.
Shen Wenqiu's selfish and harsh words pierced his heart like a sharp knife, dripping with blood.
After removing the mask of disguise, is this the truest appearance of Shen Wenqiu now? This bitter, rogue, hostile man who is no longer young.
Lu Yong: "What do you want to do?"
Shen Wenqiu: "What does it matter to you? Who are you to me? Have you forgotten that we broke up for ten years?"
Lu Yong: "I'm worried about you..."
Shen Wenqiu looked at him like an enemy: "Did I worry you? Don't think that you have the right to control me after taking me in for a few days. It's really lenient. Damn it, I'm in trouble. You still You have the face to say something to worry about me, you made me miserable, okay? You don’t really intend to gamble, tell me! I called the police and offended them all, and now I’m really doomed!!”
Lu Yong was so anxious that he couldn't talk to him. He opened his mouth, extremely annoyed but couldn't think of how to answer. Obviously Shen Wenqiu was right in front of him and didn't move, but he just had the illusion that Shen Wenqiu was going away, which made him approach subconsciously.
Shen Wenqiu also had a feeling of being caught, which made him flustered and impatient. He stood up suddenly and pushed Lu Yong away with all his strength. But Lu Yong was much taller and stronger than him, like an iron tower, he couldn't push it at all: "Get out! I'll let you get out!!"
"Are you fucking crazy?!!!"
Lu Yong couldn't think of anything else, so he could only say in a muffled voice, "Little Baa, calm down, calm down, I'll take you back."
When Shen Wenqiu heard this name, he completely collapsed, and the last string in his heart was broken, and tears burst out like a bursting embankment: "Is it disgusting? 'Xiaobaa'? What about 'Xiaobaa'? Then Ten fucking years ago!"
"Lu Yong, how much do you miss me ten years ago? Don't be an idiot! Open your fucking eyes and see how bad I am now! I'm not alone with 'Xiaobaa'!"
Lu Yong stopped talking, as if no one could pry his mouth open.
Shen Wenqiu stared at him, shedding tears quietly, and after shedding tears, she calmed down again.
Shen Wenqiu felt stupid, really stupid, no wonder he got to this point. Is Lu Yong treating him well? Lu Yong was treating him ten years ago through him. He also likes himself ten years ago, who wouldn't
But what hurt him the most was that time could never be turned back, and he couldn't go back.
He also wanted not to cause trouble to Lu Yong or others, because he was just afraid of death. He was so cowardly. He was about to die. After death, it was all over, so why did he care about the affairs behind him
With a stiff face, Lu Yong said almost stubbornly: "I don't think so. You are Shen Wenqiu, and Shen Wenqiu is Shen Wenqiu."
Really crazy.
Shen Wenqiu thought.
In fact, today is Shen Wenqiu's birthday, twenty-ninth birthday.
He was born after Liqiu, so his parents named him Wenqiu. He deliberately chose this day to end his life.
For some reason, he suddenly remembered that on his sixteenth birthday, he invited his classmates to his home for a birthday party, and everyone gave him a bunch of presents.
Lu Yong also gave it away. It was a model airplane.
Someone asked, "Lu Yong, I heard that you like looking for treasures in the garbage. Could it be that you picked it up and wiped it clean and then put it away? But it looks really new, like new .”
Shen Wenqiu was very embarrassed. In fact, he didn't mind whether the gift from Lu Yong was new or not. To him, it was more meaningful to make it by himself, like the straw lamb that Lu Yong made for him before.
He was about to smooth things over when he heard Lu Yong say, "It's new. I just bought it."
Someone asked, "How much?"
Lu Yong hesitated, and replied, "Eight hundred yuan."
Shen Wenqiu later pulled him down privately and asked, "Where did you get so much money?"
Lu Yong said: "The pocket money I saved. I usually don't spend much money, so I saved it."
Shen Wenqiu knew that his monthly living expenses at school were only 100 yuan, so he said, "It's too expensive. You should take it back, it's not worth it, why don't you give me something else."
Lu Yong blushed, stared at him right and wrong, held back for a long time, and said foolishly: "It's worth it. Xiaobaa, it's worth it, you accept it. Don't you like it very much? Even if I spend all my money worth."
"It's what I want."
That's when.
Shen Wenqiu suddenly realized, does Lu Yong like him
When he moved out from home, he didn't bring much luggage, and he sold everything that could be sold. He packed the model plane, together with his diary, love letters, and photo albums from his youth, and planned to take them away, but the package was all in one piece. Lost by courier.
It was never found again.
He thought that most of the plots were preordained in the dark.
However, he really wanted to sleep with Lu Yong once.
Otherwise, you will be a virgin until you die. It's kind of embarrassing to think about it.
Shen Wenqiu backed away from Lu Yong, leaning his back on the railing, he smiled, and asked meanly: "Don't look at me like that, Lu Yong, don't you still like me?"
Lu Yong's face became even colder, and even the last layer of window paper was pierced, which was really embarrassing.
See, this is what happens when Shen Wenqiu finds out.
Shen Wenqiu asked vulgarly and bluntly: "Mr. Lu, didn't you like me so much that you were going crazy?"
"You have also seen that I am very short of money, I am short of money, do you still want to sleep with me? We can't be friends, but I can sleep with you, 800 yuan a time, do you want to sleep with me?"
When Shen Wenqiu recalled later, he couldn't remember what he was thinking at that time, he just felt like his soul was burning, and he couldn't control anything.
He watched Lu Yong's eyes filled with anger, as if he heard something extremely absurd, Lu Yong said, "No."
it is good.
Then he has no other wish.
The voice has not yet fallen.
Shen Wenqiu turned around, climbed over the railing without hesitation, and jumped off.
"Plop."