Lu Yong looked at Shen Wenqiu and his face suddenly turned pale.
Shen Wenqiu asked: "How did you know? ... Who told you?"
Lu Yong said, "You don't have to worry about who told me."
After a long while, Shen Wenqiu hesitated and said: "Not yet, I haven't fully decided... I have applied to a few schools, and it will take a few months before I know whether I will be admitted or not."
Seeing his frightened appearance, Lu Yong thought to himself, why should he speak to Shen Wenqiu in such a vicious and accusatory tone? What kind of life plan Shen Wenqiu chooses is up to him to decide. He thought so, but he just couldn't control his anger.
Lu Yong tried his best to suppress his gangster spirit, so he appeared indifferent and distant: "Yes."
Shen Wenqiu thought for a while, looked at his face, and said cautiously and extremely guilty: "Yes, I'm sorry."
Lu Yong said in a cold voice, "There's no need to apologize to me. I don't know what school you want to go to."
"No." Shen Wenqiu said anxiously, "I should tell you... But I didn't know if I could apply, if I didn't apply in the end, I would tell you in a hurry, wouldn't it look embarrassing? ?”
After the words fell, Lu Yong blurted out and asked, "Then why do they all know?"
Am I the only one who doesn't deserve to know? Lu Yong really wanted to ask, but the second half of the sentence got stuck in his throat and he swallowed it back.
Shen Wenqiu froze.
Lu Yong felt distressed when he saw him standing there awkwardly, unable to find an excuse and being at a loss. Even though Shen Wenqiu treats him like this, he still likes it. He only hates himself for having dirty thoughts about his friends, why he can't be broad-minded, and why he is so jealous and suspicious.
Lu Yong approached Shen Wenqiu, Shen Wenqiu seldom showed such an expression, trembling like being bullied, but his innocent and frightened face could not help but make people want to bully him even more, a surge of emotion surged in his heart Impulsive, no matter what, I want to kiss Shen Wenqiu right here, right now.
Just when he was about to approach Shen Wenqiu, Shen Wenqiu suddenly came back to his senses, his face flushed, and he stretched out his hand to push him away.
Lu Yong fell back a few steps and opened the distance. His body did not fall, but he felt that his heart was thrown to the ground by Shen Wenqiu. Stared at by Shen Wenqiu's shocked and fearful eyes, Lu Yong's feverish head finally gradually cooled down.
There was actually still some distance just now.
It's just that they tacitly understand each other, and they both perceive what should have happened.
Lu Yong clenched his fists, and wanted to find a way to vent the anger in his chest, but unfortunately he couldn't, and finally said in a muffled voice in his style: "I'm sorry."
Can't think of better words, so repeat: "Sorry."
After speaking, Lu Yong turned and left. This time Shen Wenqiu did not follow.
He felt like a complete failure.
Reason returned to his mind, Lu Yong was too ashamed, he felt that his behavior was an attempted crime, and he should be punished.
Lu Yong still didn't want to go back to the classroom, he wandered around downstairs like a wandering spirit, and was caught by the head teacher.
The head teacher scolded him a few times, which showed that he was out of his mind and absent-minded, and cared about the psychological problems of the students.
Lu Yong took a deep breath, raised his head, and said, "Teacher, I want to change seats. I want to go back and sit alone at the end. Thank you teacher."
***
The fact that he was almost kissed by Lu Yong had a great impact on Shen Wenqiu.
He was distraught, didn't know how to go back to the classroom to face Lu Yong, hid a class in the playground until after school, and then fled home in a hurry.
Did Lu Yong want to kiss him? Or just get close to him? Could it be that he himself would have misunderstood it? Recently, he has been trembling, always feeling that Lu Yong wants to get close to him.
What are you going to say to greet Lu Yong tomorrow morning? Act natural and act like nothing happened
Yes, yes, just like that, pretending nothing happened.
Shen Wenqiu suffered from insomnia until the early hours of the morning before making such a decision.
Early the next morning, Shen Wenqiu came to school with breakfast in his pocket. He also specially brought an extra steamed bun and milk to deliver to Lu Yong, but as soon as he got to the classroom, he saw the picture next to his desk. The table belonging to Lu Yong was moved away.
Move back to the lonely corner near the trash can that Lu Yong made at first.
Shen Wenqiu was dumbfounded, this time he really panicked.
Shen Wenqiu asked his classmates: "Where's Lu Yong? What's going on? Why did he move his desk there?"
The classmate said: "He moved last night, didn't you all disappear? He moved the table as soon as he came back."
Shen Wenqiu asked blankly, "What's going on?"
The classmate asked back: "You and him are close, you don't even know how we know? I still want to ask what's going on..."
Shen Wenqiu couldn't take a bite of the meal.
Finally, when Lu Yong came back, the class bell rang again. Lu Yong stepped on to the classroom, and Shen Wenqiu started class before he had time to ask.
After class, Lu Yong left. He turned to look at Lu Yong, but Lu Yong didn't even look at him.
After staying up all morning, Shen Wenqiu didn't catch Lu Yong to ask him a few questions.
Shen Wenqiu simply squatted in Lu Yong's dormitory.
After he went to school, he couldn't enter the student dormitory casually. For this reason, he borrowed the student's pass from his classmates. When the dormitory auntie was away, he hurried in, and then went to the dormitory where he lived before, and sat on Lu Yong's bed. Sitting on the sidelines.
Now Lu Yong was caught.
Lu Yong didn't look angry, but when facing him, he felt a guilty conscience: "Why did you come to the dormitory?"
Shen Wenqiu said, "I have something to do with you."
Shen Wenqiu used his eyes to signal the two of them to go out alone, but Lu Yong pretended not to understand, and said in front of other students, "What's the matter?"
Shen Wenqiu was very worried, looked at the others, and said, "Why did you move the seat suddenly?"
Lu Yong answered irrelevantly: "I reported it to the teacher in charge."
Shen Wenqiu said angrily: "The key to this matter is whether you have talked to the class teacher about the problem?"
The other students in the dormitory saw that they were about to quarrel, so they walked away quietly and closed the door behind them.
It was just the two of them in the room.
Lu Yong slowly bent his overly tall body, squatted down, put one knee on the ground, half-kneeled on the ground, looked up at him, and said, "I'm sorry."
Shen Wenqiu: "..."
Lu Yong added: "I'm sorry about what happened last night."
Shen Wenqiu panicked crazily, so flustered that he could hardly breathe, his eyes gradually turned red, he wanted to pretend nothing happened, but Lu Yong just didn't cooperate.
Obviously they didn't say anything, so it's not impossible to perfunctory, right
Why did Lu Yong insist on admitting it
Lu Yong said: "I don't think I should continue to sit next to you. The head teacher is about to change seats, so you can sit back in the original middle seat."
But it seems impossible to say that this is a face-to-face showdown.
Vague and green.
Lu Yong didn't make it clear that he wanted to stay with dignity and friendship in the future, and Shen Wenqiu himself was even more ashamed to say so.
Shen Wenqiu was sad and angry at the same time, and he smiled back in anger: "Okay. You have already settled it for me, right? Don't ask my opinion. Do you think I am rushing to sit at the same table with you?"
Shen Wenqiu didn't know what he was talking about, and his malice pierced to the bone marrow: "I see that you have no friends, do you think anyone else is willing to sit at the same table with you besides me?"
Lu Yong was silent, and after a while, he replied as if enduring pain: "Yes."
The head teacher rearranged the seats in the class.
Shen Wenqiu returned to the third row of the middle group, where he had a perfect view of the blackboard, and the circle around him was full of his good friends.
The tablemate was replaced by Sheng Xu.
But he wasn't happy at all.
The third year of high school passed so quickly, before Shen Wenqiu figured it out, it was the end of the semester in a blink of an eye, and when he changed into his down jacket, he received a reply from the university application.
He can go abroad to study.
Shen Wenqiu actually imagined this scene, even in his imagination, he couldn't be happy, instead he felt empty in his heart.
Dad asked: "... why are you crying?"
Only then did Shen Wenqiu realize that he was crying. He wanted to find a tissue to wipe his tears, but there was no tissue on the table, so he wiped it with his sleeve carelessly: "Dad, I panic when I think about going abroad."
Dad hugged him on the shoulder and sighed.
Shen Wenqiu couldn't stop crying.
Dad said distressedly: "Oh, don't cry. It's normal for you to be afraid. You have never left home since you were a child. If you want to go out alone, Dad can't look at you. Dad is also very worried. Dad is not forcing you. How promising, with the money Dad earns now, it is not impossible to support you for the rest of your life, but people have to grow up... This is a very important decision. I can't help you make a decision. You should think about it carefully. If you don’t want to go, don’t go. If you don’t want to go, don’t go. If you stay in China, I think domestic universities are pretty good. Staying in China may not be worse than going abroad.”
Shen Wenqiu nodded in frustration, he didn't want to go.
It was because of this that he fell out with Lu Yong.
He even thought in his heart that if he wanted to report to the same university as Lu Yong, if he went to talk to Lu Yong like this, would Lu Yong reconcile with him
He hasn't talked to Lu Yong for a month, he misses Lu Yong too much.
They hadn't been apart that long since they had become good friends.
The two were deadlocked like this.
Lu Yong is such a silent and passive person, if he doesn't take the initiative, Lu Yong might not come to him.
Shen Wenqiu thought, if Lu Yong is still willing to be friends with him, just be friends, that would be fine.
He went to Lu Yong's house anxiously.
Lu Yong was not there at the time.
Shen Wenqiu was used to it. Father Lu didn't know about their quarrel and cold war. When he saw him coming, he received him very warmly.
Father Lu said: "The yard is in a mess, you go to your secret base and wait for him."
"Okay, okay." Shen Wenqiu agreed, and then went to Lu Yong's tech house studio.
As soon as Shen Wenqiu entered, he saw an open notebook on the table, the binding was very beautiful.
Shen Wenqiu walked over in a strange way, and saw the half-written diary on that page at a glance:
[I almost forcibly kissed Shen Wenqiu, I feel very guilty.]
[He looked at me several times, as if he wanted to strike up a conversation with me, but I didn't dare to strike up a conversation with him. I couldn't promise him that I would only be his friend.]
[I like Shen Wenqiu.]
Shen Wenqiu felt as if a turbulent sea was suddenly set off in his heart, and even this last layer of self-deception was gone.
——Lu Yong has a crush on him.
——Lu Yong is gay.
But homosexuality is mental illness!
Shen Wenqiu panicked.
He was so panicked that he didn't hear someone approaching, "Baa, what are you looking at?"
Shen Wenqiu turned his head and saw Lu Yong standing at the door, asking him, there was no smile on his face, but in the dark, his overly tall figure seemed to cover the sky, blocking the light.