After returning home, Sang Zhi put on his slippers and sat back to his original position.
Sang Rong and Li Ping were still in the living room, but they didn't speak much. One is watching TV, the other is reading with a book. There is only the cheerful sound of the TV in the room, which is not much different from the atmosphere just now.
Li Ping looked up at her and asked casually, "You're back so soon?"
Sang Zhi took a cherry tomato from the fruit bowl and stuffed it into her mouth. She stretched out her hand to take off her coat, and said, "Send it to the gate of the community, and Brother Jiaxu will let me come back."
Li Ping nodded and didn't ask any more questions.
Sang Zhi was biting at the fruit, her eyes were rolling, and she was dangling on Sang Rong and Li Ping. She felt that Duan Jiaxu was doing well, so she cautiously asked, "Mom and dad, what do you think?"
Li Ping's eyes returned to the TV: "How about what?"
"It's not that we haven't seen each other for many years," Sang Zhi whispered. "Now that we met, we talked about so many things. Has your attitude changed a bit?"
Sang Rong smiled and said, "The guy is very nice."
Sang Zhi quickly agreed: "Yes, people are very good."
"Indeed, he is very good. He is very good in all aspects. Although he didn't meet a few times when he was in college, he felt that he would definitely be promising in the future." Sang Rong's eyes were still on the book, and his voice sounded Very kind, "For so many years, it must not be uncomfortable for a person to come here like this."
Sang Zhi paused and pursed her lower lip.
Sang Rong didn't say much, but suddenly changed the subject and laughed, "I heard your mother say before that the first time you saw Duan Jiaxu, you cried in front of people, and you were not ashamed."
Li Ping also laughed: "I thought I was crying, but I ended up making trouble with Ayan."
When they mentioned it like this, Sang Zhi also felt that it was hard to save face: "Then am I not young?"
"Recently I've been thinking about things from the past. When you were young, your health was not very good." Sang Rong put down the book in his hand, as if recalling, "At that time, it was either allergies or fever. Your mother runs to the hospital every day and sees that you are crying all the time, but you don't even have the strength to cry after that."
Li Ping also turned off the TV.
"It's uncomfortable for us to watch, but there's nothing else we can do. Your brother was too young at that time and didn't welcome you very much. We think that after we have you, we don't care much about him." Sang Rong said again and again He smiled, "I also wrote in the weekly notebook that I would rather have a dog at home than this sister."
Sang Zhi was instantly upset.
Before she could say anything, Sang Rong said again: "But when you were in the hospital, he couldn't see you, and he looked for you with us every day. He lied to him that he lost you, and made him cry on the spot."
"..." Sang Zhi licked her lips, "Why did you say this suddenly?"
"It's interesting to think about it. It feels like what happened yesterday." Sang Rong said, "As a result, now, you and your brother are almost getting married."
Sang Zhi said in embarrassment, "I'm still early."
Sang Rong sighed lightly: "Only, my father is not an autocratic person, and because the conditions of our family are not bad, he will not have the idea of being superior. It is not to say that he thinks no one is worthy of my daughter, whether it is Whoever wants to be with you, I will definitely be able to pick out the bad faults."
"… "
"I don't think that we just can't endure hardship." Sang Rong said, "It's just that we are not willing to make you suffer at all, for fear that you will have a bad life in the future, and you have such worries all the time."
Sang Zhi's throat choked.
"I'm just an ordinary person, and I have the same thoughts as all the fathers in the world." Sang Rong said, "I hope my children will have a smooth life and live a safe and happy life."
Sang Zhi said softly, "I know."
"I wanted to hide it from you, but I'm afraid you will find out later, you will be unhappy, and you will blame us." Sang Rong took off his glasses and muttered, "Today, Dad said something to Jia Xu."
"..." Sang Zhi was stunned, her lips opened subconsciously.
"I have mentioned to him all the things I am worried about now and what I think I should say. Maybe these words will hurt him to a certain extent. But he should also think about it seriously, your future. ." Sang Rong said, "You may think it's just a relationship, and you don't need to think about it so much for the time being. But if it's not suitable, Dad thinks—"
"… "
"It's better for you to stop early."
As soon as these words fell, the room fell into silence.
Sang Zhi suddenly understood what they meant.
Maybe it was because they were worried about her emotions, they didn't say it clearly, they just said they disapproved, but they wouldn't stop it. But what they really hoped was that she and Duan Jiaxu would end there.
After half an hour.
Sang Zhi said: "I am, I can't endure hardship at all."
"… "
"I feel unhappy when I get scolded by someone, and I'm not happy if I can't eat what I want. When I have to, I will do things that I don't like and must do." Sang Zhi said The voice was very soft, "So, it is because I am very happy with him and I don't feel hard at all, so I keep saying these words in front of you."
Li Ping touched her head but said nothing.
"I'm still in college, I'm not talking about a relationship, but I'm going to get married right away." Sang Zhi said, "There's still so long, I can often bring him back to show you guys, so you can understand what kind of person he is. ."
Sang Rong looked at her and hummed seriously.
"I didn't ask you to accept him immediately, to like him immediately." Sang Zhi sighed, "I just want you to not pay too much attention to his family affairs, because this is not something he can choose."
"… "
"In other respects, it doesn't matter what opinions you have." Sang Zhi said, "As long as you are fair to him."
The conversation between the three was interrupted by the arrival of Sang Yan.
Sang Zhi felt a little stuck and went back to the room. Sitting on the bed, she was in a daze, thinking about Duan Jia Xu's reaction just now, her thoughts were chaotic, and she also thought about a lot of things.
After a long while, Sang Zhi took a breath and called Duan Jia Xu.
The other end picked up immediately, with the same tone as usual: "What's wrong?"
Sang Zhi picked up the pillow on the bed and stuffed it in her arms. She lowered her eyes and stared at a point in the void. She didn't know what to say for a while, and she didn't say anything.
"Why don't you speak?" Duan Jiaxu said in a loose voice, "Accidentally pressed it?"
Sang Zhi then said, "No."
Duan Jiaxu didn't ask any more questions, chuckled lightly, and mentioned other things: "Your teacher makes a lot of money, this red envelope is like a brick."
"It's not that exaggerated."
"I'll give you one next time." Duan Jiaxu said, "I didn't pay attention, I forgot that we are only this age, so we can still receive red envelopes."
Sang Zhi was in no mood to joke with him. Hearing his tone, I felt even more panicked. She didn't hesitate any longer and asked, "Did my dad tell you something today?"
There was silence on the other end of the phone for a few seconds.
Soon, Duan Jiaxu said, "It's really nothing."
"My father told me." Sang Zhi didn't know what Sang Rong said, so he just said, "Don't be unhappy."
"What are you thinking, why are you unhappy." Duan Jiaxu said, "I really didn't say anything bad. Your parents are very good. They just raised some concerns with me."
Sang Zhi asked in a low voice, "Then what did they say?"
"It seems that I think I'm too old, it's shameful for you to take it out."
"..." Sang Zhi frowned, "Can you be more serious, I'm asking you very seriously."
"That uncle and aunt talked to me so much all night," Duan Jia Xu laughed, "I don't even know what you asked?"
This is obviously not what I intend to say.
He didn't want to say it, and Sang Zhi didn't ask any further.
She was a little depressed, and said incoherently: "Anyway, don't be unhappy. My parents have always treated me as a child, afraid that I would encounter bad people, just like my brother... If I want to change them, they are not I know, it is estimated that they will say more. And what they say does not represent my thoughts. "
Duan Jiaxu: "Yes."
"Also, no matter what others say about your father, it really has nothing to do with you at all. Don't care." Sang Zhi couldn't comfort others, she could only say what she wanted to say, "I I'll talk to them again..."
"I know." Duan Jiaxu said, "Don't mention it to them, it's rare to take a vacation, get along well with your parents, don't let this affect your mood."
"… "
"Don't worry," Duan Jia Xu's voice became very soft, as if he was murmuring, "I'll think about it again."
Sang Zhi was stunned for a moment. Just when he was about to ask what he was thinking about, there was a knock on the door, and Sang Yan's voice came: "Mom has made soup, let you go out to drink it."
She raised her eyes and responded subconsciously, "Okay."
Duan Jiaxu obviously heard it too: "Go for a drink, don't make them wait."
Sang Zhi was silent for a while, and didn't know how to ask what happened just now, but he snorted and repeated: "Then don't be unhappy."
After Sang Zhi finished drinking the soup and came back from the wash, a long time had passed. She took out her phone again and opened WeChat. After hesitating for a while, he typed a sentence into the chat window with Duan Jiaxu: [You just said to think about it, what are you thinking about?]
Stopped at this interface for a while.
Sang Zhi silently deleted all the words and changed them into two words: [Good night.]
She turned off the light, lay on the bed, and kept replaying this sentence in her mind.
I'll think about it again.
think about it.
consider.
Sang Rong and Duan Jiaxu both said and raised some concerns.
What are you worried about
Is it a matter of age, or is it something about his father
But neither of these can be changed. That leaves only Duan Jiaxu's economic conditions.
But he is not poor.
That is, he may not be able to buy a house for the time being, but he will work hard for a few more years, and then come out to work after adding her. This is not a big problem, right
So what is Duan Jiaxu thinking about
It can't always be...
Sang Zhi forcibly retracted the idea that he was about to come up with.
Staring at the ceiling blankly, Sang Zhi's eyes were tight, and she suddenly felt a little breathless. She sat up, a layer of water mist floated in front of her eyes, and she was forcibly held back.
At this moment, all firmness and intransigence became unclear.
In fact, Sang Zhi felt that one day, her parents would definitely change their minds. For a short time, she'll be distressed by not knowing what to do, but not too worried about things they don't support.
But she was a little scared, Duan Jiaxu thought.
Sang Zhi knew very well that he was very concerned about this matter.
So on the first day we were together, I mentioned this to her, and I also cared about whether she minded. Even if he knew very well, this matter had nothing to do with him.
But still feel humbled by it.
An extremely ingrained idea, or a fact that he can't change.
Sang Zhi will be worried, because tonight Sang Rong and Li Ping will not really feel that he is not good enough.
Maybe it's because she's starting to get stressed.
Will it be because of his gratitude to Sang Rong and their opposition, that he made a concession.
Will he really not plan to be with her again.
Will you really give up.
Sang Zhi pursed her lips. She endured the choking in her throat, picked up the phone again, wanted to say something to him, wanted him not to be sad, not to care too much about it.
Don't start thinking about, what he said, something to think about again.
At this moment, Sang Zhi felt that he was powerless and weak to the extreme.
Sang Zhi felt that she could be good to him for the rest of her life, and hoped that he would no longer feel unhappy and hurt because of the past events.
But he seemed to be hurt again because of her.
She put down the phone slowly.
Sang Zhi lost his mind and suddenly remembered.
Downstairs in the community where Duan Jiaxu lived before, she was cautious and extraordinarily serious in expressing her feelings. His eyes were dyed, and he reached out to hug her and kissed her forehead.
Then, he said very sternly: "Well, I like you very much too."
The next day, Sang Zhi was dragged by Li Ping to visit relatives early in the morning. Noticing that her mind was not here, Li Ping didn't force her, and found a reason to let her go back.
After coming out from the relative's house, Sang Zhi went to find Duan Jiaxu.
Because he was going to work on the seventh day of the new year, he didn't plan to stay for long. The air ticket he booked before was also going back to Yihe tonight.
Duan Jiaxu's expression remained the same, as if he was really unaffected.
Sang Zhi emphasized a few more words to him, so that he would not be unhappy. He put on a funny look and said, "Why are you coaxing a child."
Before getting on the plane, Duan Jia Xu thought for a while, took the initiative to comfort her, and then said, "I will spend the New Year here, play for a while, and then go back to school."
Sang Zhi absently nodded: "Yes."
"You can go there for several months." Duan Jia Xu said playfully, "Don't cry anymore because of homesickness."
Sang Zhi stared at him, her lips moved, she wanted to ask something, but she was afraid of getting a bad answer. She fell silent, just nodded again.
Sang Zhi didn't know what he was worried about, but he didn't dare to ask what he was thinking about. She was extremely vigilant and felt that as long as she didn't ask, she would remain in such a state.
She felt like she had become a pessimist.
Everything can only be thought of in a bad way.
But after thinking too much, Sang Zhi felt that he was scaring himself.
If Duan Jiaxu really had such an idea, he would definitely not have such an attitude now.
Sometimes, a lot of thoughts will change because of some normal little things. After Duan Jiaxu returned to Yihe, he became very busy, and his contact with Sang Zhi became less and less.
This is usually a normal thing.
Not only after the new year, Duan Jiaxu often had to work overtime before, so he was always busy. Sometimes when she looks for him, he doesn't reply right away, and Sang Zhi doesn't care too much.
But during this time, Sang Zhi was always thinking about his sentence "I'll think about it again", and all the emotions kept accumulating, like a balloon that was constantly being filled, and it was about to burst in the next moment.
Combined with his behavior.
Sang Zhi would wonder if he was hiding from her.
Are you really thinking about it.
To separate or not.
That night, Sang Zhi slept extremely unsteadily.
She had a dream one night.
She dreamed that Jiang Ying appeared in front of her again and said to her, "You guys are really going to break up? It doesn't matter, Duan Jiaxu won't be too sad. He will think that you can find something better."
She dreamed that she didn't go into the kitchen to help Li Ping that day, and then saw Duan Jiaxu's smile froze when he heard Sang Rong's words.
In a dream, Duan Jiaxu said mockingly, "I'm afraid you would mind."
In a dream, he smiled and said, "I think your parents are good people. They helped me like that, and I can't be sorry for them."
All the pictures are interlaced and appear real in this illusion. In the end, Sang Zhi dreamed that that night, he didn't accept the red envelope from her, and whispered, "It's better to forget it."
The next moment, Sang Zhi opened her eyes and woke up.
Sang Zhi covered the position of her heart, her head was still blank, and she was in a sense of confusion after the dream. She couldn't remember for a while what dream she had just had, no matter how she thought about it.
After half an hour.
A great sense of emptiness occupied her whole being. Sang Zhi grabbed the quilt, and suddenly began to cry, and there was an uncontrollable whimper in her throat. Afraid that she would quarrel with Sang Rong and Li Ping next door, she could only endure it with all her strength.
Sang Zhi picked up the phone and wanted to call Duan Jiaxu.
Noticing the time, her movements stopped, and with an extremely blurred vision, she watched the screen gradually go out.
I do not know how long it has been.
Sang Zhi wiped away her tears with determination, turned on her phone again, and booked a recent flight back to Yihe.
Sang Zhi could only book the ten o'clock flight the next night. After waking up, she told her parents that there was a temporary incident at the school, and everyone planned to go back early.
After lunch, Sang Zhi began to pack her luggage. When she saw the milk bottle on the windowsill, her eyes stopped and she walked over to pick it up.
She poured out the stars inside.
To this day, Sang Zhi still remembered which star paper he used to write down his original mood and put it in the bottle.
Sang Zhi reached out and took the two stars of the same color inside and put them in his pocket.
When it was about time, Sang Rong drove her to the airport.
Sang Zhi went through the security check by herself and waited in the waiting lounge. Hesitantly, he sent Duan Jia Xu a WeChat message, but after waiting for a while, she did not receive a reply.
She pursed her lips, but still didn't tell him that she was going back to Yihe now.
Get on the plane and sit in the aisle.
Sang Zhi fastened on her seat belt, and at this moment, she suddenly remembered how she secretly went to Yihe to find him when she was a freshman in high school. It is also the same as now, a temporary ticket purchased.
The better positions are basically finished.
It wasn't her first time on a plane, but it was the first time she went so far by herself.
Pretend that you are not afraid of anything, pretend that you are not uneasy, pretend that you are extremely brave, and don’t feel sorry for what you get.
Just go see him.
Sang Zhi put her hand in her pocket and felt the two stars that she had just inserted. Her palms folded and quickly loosened, as if something had been decided.
Three hours later, Sang Zhi got off the plane. She took out her phone, turned it on, dragged her suitcase, and walked towards the exit, just in time for Duan Jiaxu's call.
Sang Zhi picked it up.
"Only, I just heard your brother say, are you going back to school today?" Duan Jia Xu's voice came from the receiver, "Didn't you come back on Saturday?"
Sang Zhi whispered, "Mm."
"Arrived?" Duan Jiaxu paused, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I want to tell you." Sang Zhi's voice was dull, "But you ignored me."
"I have something to do during this time. I haven't looked at my phone very much, so I'm not ignoring you." Duan Jiaxu said, "I'm at the airport, where are you?"
"Chair next to exit T3."
"Yeah." Duan Jiaxu coaxed softly, "Wait there obediently."
Sang Zhi sat down and took out the two stars from his pocket. She rubbed her eyes, thinking very firmly that she would not cry this time.
After about five or six minutes, Sang Zhi saw Duan Jiaxu rushing over.
Duan Jiaxu walked up to Sang Zhi, took off his coat, and wrapped it around her: "After staying in Nanwu for a long time, you don't even know the temperature here in Yihe?"
Sang Zhi stared at him.
Duan Jiaxu raised his eyebrows, "What's wrong?"
Sang Zhi lowered her head and handed him the paper star in her hand.
Upon seeing this, Duan Jiaxu took it over: "What is this?"
Something she had been trying to hide.
Things I don't want him to know in my life.
In her opinion, she is extremely embarrassed, like a defeated general.
In this relationship, Sang Zhi was extremely inferior. She felt that it was not equal, so she wanted others to think that Duan Jiaxu was the one who invested more in his feelings.
She wanted him to think so too.
She hoped that he could never leave her.
"Do you remember the time I came to Yihe in my first year of high school?" Sang Zhi raised her eyes again and said seriously, "I talked about the time I came to find an online date."
"Well, why did you mention this all of a sudden?"
"Actually, I didn't come to find any online dating partner."
"… "
"I don't have any online dating partners." Sang Zhi actually didn't want to cry at all. She felt that crying was really embarrassing, but she choked up inexplicably as she spoke, "I came to you at that time."
As if he didn't understand her words, Duan Jia Xu half-squatted in front of her: "What?"
"I heard from my brother, you're talking about your girlfriend." Sang Zhi didn't dare to look at him, so she endured her tears and finished her sentence, "I stole my ID card and bought a plane ticket to come here."
"… "
"I'm not. I didn't like you until I came to Yihe after I went to college." Sang Zhi wiped her tears with the back of her hand, and couldn't continue, "I lied to you, I'm afraid you think I..."
I tell you all.
I tell you all.
In this way, can you know that you are fine.
Can you please because I like you so much, don't be shaken by anyone's words, and don't feel bad about yourself, stay with me forever.
I like you, I like you very much.
Lasted, for nearly seven years.
From her youth, now, and even her entire future.
Sang Zhi was extremely sure that she couldn't love someone like this.
Duan Jiaxu felt extremely at a loss for the first time.
Don't know how to react at all.
His Adam's apple slid up and down, suddenly realizing something. He lowered his eyes, slowly took apart the two stars in his hand, and saw the writing left on them.
Young and juvenile.
— "Although I don't want to admit it, I seem to really like someone. 2009.11.05"
— "His name is Duan, Jiao, xǔ. 2009.11.05"
Do you believe
When you don't know what word your name corresponds to.
I fell in love with you.