Seizing Dreams

Chapter 44: confide

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This relationship was naturally opposed by Lin Xun. Lin Xun hoped to cultivate Chen Yekai, let him teach in Colombia and serve as his assistant. But in the course as a teaching assistant, falling in love with an undergraduate will greatly affect Chen Yekai's future.

And Liang Jinmin encouraged Chen Yekai, as long as you recognize your own mind, don't be afraid, take the initiative to resign, or change a university, or even drop your studies, to re-plan your life.

Chen Yekai has been worrying about gains and losses for a while, and Long Sheng also understands that although only Chen Yekai lives in his world, Chen Yekai's life cannot be only himself. Long Sheng didn't understand feelings, and he never expressed it. He chose to avoid and retreat. He decided not to drag Chen Yekai down, and was ready to drop out of school and return to Japan. And just before submitting the application for dropping out, he asked Chen Yekai to accompany him to Argentina to see the Iguazu Falls.

During that trip, Chen Yekai finally faced his heart. For him, Longsheng was like a medicine, which could make him forget everything, indulge in it, and feel real happiness. He seemed to live for him and live for him.

After returning to school, the efficacy of love had worn off, and Chen Yekai had to face Lin Xun's anger and complaints from students in Liang Jinmin's class. One is the profession he has loved since childhood, and the other is Long Sheng's future. In the end, with Lin Xun's intercession, the school finally opened the door and removed Chen Yekai's position, allowing him to continue to follow Lin Xun to graduate school.

Lin Xun thought about connecting Chen Yekai to marry his favorite protégé to the daughter of an old friend. As a result, Chen Yekai and an undergraduate didn't talk about it and came out to the closet at home. The riot was earth-shattering, and in the end, family ties were almost severed. When it comes to homosexuality in China, it has always been understanding and tolerant, but when it falls on one's own son, that's no good. Chen Yekai went his own way. After resigning from his teaching assistantship, he moved in with Long Sheng.

After the relationship stabilized, Lin Xun asked Chen Yekai to devote more time to study and topics. After Chen Yekai had passed the sweetness of the initial period of love, he gradually began to calm down and consider future plans.

But Chen Yekai and Long Sheng are like all couples who have ended their love period and entered the friction period, and begin to face various problems in their lives, such as... Long Sheng needs company while Chen Yekai must spend most of the time in school. The subject; Long Sheng's emotions that Chen Yekai occasionally ignores; different attitudes towards family, friends, relatives, mentors... etc. Chen Yekai fell in love for the first time, and was a little caught off guard by the problems that popped up in an instant. Longsheng's feelings were ignored.

He needs time to study and study, and is used to being alone. In fact, in the past many years, he spent a lot of time studying and paid little attention to the thoughts of the people around him. The act of living together with Long Sheng was tantamount to entering a marriage, and he still did not have a clear understanding of how to manage a marriage.

"I still remember that Long Sheng would always wake up in the middle of the night." Chen Yekai thought about it and said, "Turn around and hug me, he is too afraid of losing me..."

Yu Hao and Zhou Sheng listened quietly, the coffee was cold.

Chen Yekai added: "I was very tired at that time, very tired and very tired, I hoped he would be a little quieter, I was always tired during the day, but I didn't get enough sleep at night, sometimes I was in the research room, even a little bit. Afraid to go back. During that time, we didn't talk much, I was always afraid, I don't know when, he would suddenly get angry and yell at me... You have never been in a relationship, and you don't understand that feeling. "

The responsibility of "home" has become heavier and heavier for Chen Yekai. He tries to communicate with Long Sheng, but every time he talks about it, everything will return to its original state within a few days. Then something happened that had a devastating blow to their relationship—

—A friend of Long Sheng borrowed his mobile phone and found their small sex video, which was uploaded to his mobile phone, and then circulated in a small area. In the end, I don’t know who uploaded it to Tumblr, and it caused quite a stir.

Yu Hao: "..."

Zhou Sheng: "…"

"It's been deleted." Chen Yekai said, "There are still some that have been downloaded that can't be helped. When we first got together, I was overwhelmed by love and took a few scenes. Later, I almost shot Long Sheng's friend. …Fortunately, he pulled me back from the precipice…Sometimes I feel like there’s a hysterical violence inherent in my character, but most of the time it’s hidden.”

Yu Hao suddenly remembered the way Chen Yekai solved the problem that night.

"Actually, many foreigners like to take pictures." Zhou Sheng changed the topic and said, "Same-sex and opposite-sex are the same, why do you want to keep your memories of your youth?"

Chen Yekai laughed and said, "You shouldn't be interested, Yu Hao, don't search, it's too embarrassing, but it shouldn't be possible."

Yu Hao hurriedly said in embarrassment, "I... I promise never to search!"

"Longsheng kept apologizing to me for that incident." Chen Yekai sighed and said, "I'm so upset, the attitude of my classmates, the discussions behind my friends... I can't stand it anymore, and there are many more. People ran to my INS to leave a message... "

"Long Sheng should be the most uncomfortable." Yu Hao said.

"Yes." Chen Yekai said, "But later, I suggested that we should separate for a while and calm down. I want to finish the graduation thesis, and then take him to South America, where we have traveled, to Peru. Machu Picchu, to many places... to get married in that little white chapel at the southernmost tip of the world."

Having said that, Chen Yekai stopped, raised his hand, and pressed his eyes with his wrist.

Yu Hao stretched out his hand and put it on the back of Chen Yekai's hand holding the coffee cup. Zhou Sheng also stretched out his hand, and the two of them covered him together.

"Thank you." Chen Yekai smiled, "After that time, I kept it all in my heart and didn't tell anyone."

Not long after, Long Sheng came back. Chen Yekai noticed that Long Sheng's mental condition was a little wrong, and took him to see a doctor, and found that he was suffering from depression. Genetic factors in family history, insecurities in love, anxiety, and the video that eventually spread made him blame himself, facing all the "good consolation"... This is a physiological problem, and he needs to pay attention to taking medicine. During that time, Chen Yekai was so busy that he wanted to give up his graduation thesis, but Long Sheng insisted on keeping him busy, otherwise he would not stay by his side.

Chen Yekai had to supervise him to take his medicine on time, and bought a ticket. He was going to take Long Sheng with him after the defense. However, on the day of the defense, Long Sheng didn't come as promised and had a dinner date with Chen Yekai.

He left the house alone again. Chen Yekai immediately went to the police, but the police refused to accept the case on the grounds that it did not constitute a disappearance. Chen Yekai learned that Longsheng had changed his ticket and flew directly from New York to Argentina on the same day. He chased after Argentina, to the small hotel they had booked...

"He has committed suicide." Chen Yekai said calmly.

"When we arrived, the scene was cleaned up. The hotel had changed the sheets, and hired a few workers to paint the walls. The police showed me a gun he bought from the black market and put it in a plastic bag." Chen Yekai In a trance, he said, "I remember every little detail of that day... He was covered with a white sheet, and the blood was dry..."

"Don't think about it, Kai Kai." Zhou Sheng said, "It's not your fault."

Chen Yekai smiled and added: "Outside Chichen Itza, there is a wide cuju field. According to legend, in the ancient Mayan custom, in a cuju competition, the captain of the winning team will become a sacrifice and be chopped off. Head, dedicated to the gods."

"Longsheng likes to watch me play football. I scored a goal for him in front of tourists that day." Chen Yekai murmured, "Kick the ball up from the square and through the hoop used for the game, maybe At that time, I already fell in love with him... willing to dedicate the rest of my life, even my life, to the one and only God."

"In the middle of Chichen Itza, there is a well. Longsheng said, he believes that it is the road of reincarnation of the Mayans, and he has always wanted to come, from this life to that life. He knows that I don't love him, but he wants to Make a wish with me by the well, to be the best friend in this life, and in the next life, he will go one step further, he wants to be my lover."

"I feel that his love for me is so deep that it can reach from one end of the cycle to the other. But I think the sentence 'I love you too' is enough courage to say in this life, why wait for the next life ?"

"Okay, the story is over, I have to go."

Yu Hao was silent for a while, Chen Yekai finished his last cup of coffee, got up, and said, "Sitting in the infirmary and listening to your story, I want to comfort you, Yu Hao, it's just that I understand that the power of words is ultimately limited. All I can say is, you can treat me as your friend, as a big brother who is willing to listen to you."

"I also know that I didn't know how to comfort you that night; just as you didn't know how to comfort me this morning. It's pale and powerless to say anything, but our souls can make a difference here and now. This kind of weak resonance comes from the hardships we have suffered." Chen Yekai smiled, "It comes from my betrayal of another soul, the mistakes I made, and there is no chance of recovery from now on, and yours Life is still very long, there are more possibilities and sunshine."

"Now you want to comfort my mood, just like my mood at that time, I think, this may be enough."

Chen Yekai's luggage was only a backpack, and the rest was sent. He walked downstairs, the car was waiting outside the back school gate.

"I'm leaving." Chen Yekai said to the two of them, "Hold one?"

Chen Yekai hugged Zhou Sheng and Yu Hao successively. When hugging Yu Hao, he patted him on the back and said, "Remember what I said."

Yu Hao's eyes were red, but Chen Yekai got into the car and left the back school gate.

Yu Hao and Zhou Sheng sat down in front of the steps of the teacher's dormitory building. They looked at each other, Zhou Sheng's eyes were a little red, and he said, "The sun is so fucking dazzling."

Yu Hao said, "In his heart, he doesn't even have a safe haven anymore."

Zhou Sheng asked: "Where is the express delivery, have you noticed?"

Yu Hao calmed down, took out his phone, and said, "I took a picture."

"Check the address." Zhou Sheng shook the cigarette case, leaving the last one.

"Stop smoking." Yu Hao said, "It's not good for the heart."

"Two puffs." Zhou Sheng pinched his nose and said, "If your nose is blocked, just take two puffs. He still didn't say anything about that night."

Yu Hao: "Could it be because of the conflict between Long Sheng and Teacher Liang's domestic violence, so he..."

Zhou Sheng replied in a deep voice: "He speaks and acts very normally. Long Sheng's death is not Lin Xun's fault, and domestic violence will not make him so angry that he wants to kill Lin Xun... Remember his world of consciousness What, there are thunder and lightning everywhere, he wants to destroy himself, this is a more violent behavior than actively falling into the subconscious, he must be dragged back, and then ask clearly if it is what we guessed."

Yu Hao lowered his head to check Chen Yekai's courier address, thinking about Zhou Sheng's words. Under the sun, Zhou Sheng looked at Yu Hao quietly, his eyes were very complicated, and his brows furrowed.

"What's wrong?" Yu Hao raised his head from his phone and asked blankly.

"It's nothing." Zhou Sheng didn't look away, took out his phone, thought for a while, picked up the phone, stretched out his hand, and took a selfie for the two of them.

Zhou Sheng: "Smile?"

Yu Hao: "Are you sick..."

Zhou Sheng: "Let's have a laugh."

Yu Hao looked at the camera and was photographed together with Zhou Sheng. His expression was like crying and laughing, and it was like being pierced by the sun.

"Is life always so painful? Or is it only when I was a child?" Zhou Sheng said.

"It's always the case." Yu Hao replied casually, he found the address of Chen Yekai's express delivery, and when he went upstairs, he paid special attention to the courier that was transported away, and said, "This is the address of a non-profit organization... It's strange..."

"It's not surprising." Zhou Sheng said, "He wants to donate things."

Yu Hao: "Where will he go? I saw him packing his passport."

Zhou Sheng: "Should go back to the United States. He has cut ties with his family and won't go home. It's very dangerous to donate all the belongings in the house like this... Go to sleep, let's go. Go back and get your ID card and go off-campus. Open house."

"Are you sure he'll sleep later?"

Zhou Sheng said: "He didn't sleep much last night, he must be very tired now. I guess he has to sleep for a while on the plane. No, I have to sleep too..." He yawned: "I didn't feel very sleepy last night. ."

Yu Hao said stubbornly, "You slept at noon, what if you can't sleep at night?"

Zhou Sheng: "Take sleeping pills!"

Two boys bought sleeping pills and went to open a room together. It was really weird, Yu Hao thought to himself.

At noon, Chen Yekai arrived at Yingshi Airport, went through the security check, and got into the first class cabin.

"Don't eat." Chen Yekai said to the flight attendant, "Don't disturb me later, I'll sleep for a while, thank you."

in the world of consciousness.

"Look! I'll tell you!" Zhou Sheng said, "I'm definitely asleep!"

Yu Hao: "Where to find him?"

Zhou Sheng: "Drive away first!"

Chen Yekai's words confirmed Zhou Sheng's guess that this three-story building would not be a safe haven, and they had to find Chen Yekai who stayed here as soon as possible. When Yu Hao went downstairs, he looked at the dark clouds and churning thunder and lightning in the rain forest world.

There are more fires in the rainforest than yesterday.

The tree was still collapsing, showing the trajectory of the giant being walking through, Yu Hao said, "Zhou Sheng?"

"What?!" Zhou Sheng had already left the hotel and shouted from outside, "Jump down! Yu Hao!"

Yu Hao: "Something is coming!"

Zhou Sheng: "Run!"

Yu Hao rolled over and stepped out of the rooftop guardrail, stepped on the window on the third floor, jumped off the awning on the second floor, and slid down. Zhou Sheng's off-road vehicle drove up and hugged Yu Hao firmly.

"Eggs are alright!"

"Don't make trouble!" Yu Hao picked up a gun and pulled the safety bolt. Zhou Sheng drove around the front door of the hotel, put one hand on the back of the seat, turned his head and reversed the car.

Yu Hao: "How did your clothes... change?"

Yu Hao saw that Zhou Sheng's shirt was actually the navy blue shirt that Chen Yekai was wearing when Chen Yekai and Nakagawa Longsheng took a group photo in front of Iguazu Falls!

"What?" Zhou Sheng didn't have time to pay attention to what he was wearing, only after being reminded by Yu Hao did he realize that he was wearing a navy blue shirt, and his lower body was still the camouflage pants of a cross-country uniform, "I don't know! This body is like a bitch!"

"Where is this motherfucker!" Yu Hao roared angrily.

"Yu Hao, you're sick!" Zhou Sheng said, "While you were running away, did you tell me whether a shirt is a girl or not?"

"You said it first!"

"Come on!" Zhou Sheng just backed out, when he roared in an instant, a black giant smashed through the rainforest and rushed up the hillside!

Yu Hao was holding a gun, but he forgot to fire it for a while, only to see a Tyrannosaurus rex with a height of 10 meters appear, stepping over the two's off-road vehicles, and shadows instantly covered the top of their heads.

"Wow." Zhou Sheng said, "Kaikai has such a big brain, and there are dinosaurs in his dreams?"

The next moment, the Tyrannosaurus Rex slammed into the hotel and collapsed most of the brick-and-tile hotel. Yu Hao immediately said, "Let's go!"

The two regained their senses. As soon as Zhou Sheng stepped on the accelerator, the off-road vehicle almost rushed down the hillside. The Tyrannosaurus Rex heard the sound and immediately noticed the ground, followed by a roar of "Ow" and rushed towards the two of them!

"Where did you learn to drive?"

"No driver's license! I learned it in the arcade!"

"Shooting too?"

"How come there is so much nonsense!" Zhou Sheng drove, carrying Yu Hao, and rushed all the way down the hillside at full speed. The Tyrannosaurus Rex was chasing after him. Yu Hao turned around, armed with a gun, and fired several times at the Tyrannosaurus Rex. gun.

"I think I really need to learn something special." Yu Hao looked at the Tyrant Dragon and said.

Zhou Sheng said, "I think so too!"

Yu Hao: "Shut up!"