Sha Qing

Chapter 27: The ghost of memory

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In the interrogation room of the county police station, Leo and Li Biqing met the middle-aged woman who was called the "devil mother" by the local newspaper. Her hands were handcuffed to the metal table, she was still immersed in her own world, indifferent to everything, and she did not respond to the questions of the other two men.

"You don't have to work in vain," said a county police officer next to him. "She won't speak. After killing her little son, she was also the same virtue. She knew that as long as she didn't say anything, there would be nothing."

Li Biqing carefully observed her, from the strands of hair to the toes, not letting go of any clues. He found that her hand was covered with old wounds. The index finger of her right hand had once been broken. The skin covering the wound has now grown and looked like a bare branch. There were also many jagged wounds on other fingers that were torn and healed.

"Bellelie, what's the matter with your hand?" he asked softly.

Of course, there was no response, as if speaking to the air.

Leo turned his gaze to the fat county policeman, who shrugged: "Who knows, a madman can easily hurt himself."

Li Biqing looked through her file again, his eyes paused on a few lines in the old paper. He pushed the file in front of Leo, pointed his finger there and asked, "Is this a rape case? It happened four years ago. It is mentioned that in addition to the rape, he also bruised her all over and bit her finger. ."

Leo browsed it again, nodded and said: "It should have been caused by that incident. Because she had a mental problem and was unable to provide clear evidence. In the end, the prisoner was not caught, and the case was never settled."

Li Biqing narrowed his eyes and thought for a moment, and then suddenly asked the county police: "Two years and nine months ago, when she drowned her youngest son, that child was six months old, right?"

"Yes, less than seven months."

"... Calculated like this, the time she was pregnant with the child coincided with the time when the rape happened. Have you ever suspected that the child's biological father was probably the perpetrator?"

The county police stared in surprise: "What? Oh no, no one paid attention to this at the time. Her husband left the local area after divorcing her and occasionally came back to visit her daughter. Her second daughter was born after the divorce. We thought the younger son was also..."

"You never cared about her, did you, police, neighbors, volunteers, including her relatives. Because she is a mentally ill, a madman who has escaped from society, and an unnecessary person." The Chinese boy said coldly, "She didn't even Fa opened his mouth to defend himself. This saves you a lot of trouble, doesn't it?"

The county police looked a little embarrassed and a little angry. If it were not for the FBI's sake, he would have to let this self-righteous kid taste the consequences of nonsense.

Leo glanced at Li Biqing unexpectedly. He has never seen him express his opinions so sharply. In his impression, this Chinese boy is always gentle and humble, and even his smile is implicit like a layer of frosted glass decorated with ethnic cultural patterns— But it’s okay, it’s more real. No matter what tone he used to speak, he looked so cute, the federal agent thought hopelessly.

Li Biqing turned his head and said to Leo: "If Belle Li's youngest son is really the child of a rapist, let us speculate: She probably knows who his biological father is, but she still gave birth to him. As the child gradually When she grew up, she saw the shadow of the perpetrator more clearly from his face. This discovery deeply stimulated her already abnormal nerves. Every second of caring for him was a painful torture. The shadow and the shadow The pressure gradually built up until one day, something triggered the'violent emotion switch' in her brain—I guess he bit her finger when she bathed the child. The six-month-old baby almost started to grow deciduous teeth. , The feeling of itching made him bite everything, but it was this bite that cut off the fragile appearance she was trying to maintain, and became the last straw that crushed the camel—the memory of that bloody rape swallowed her, It caused her mental breakdown, and instinctively wanted to let the damage disappear-so she drowned the innocent child. Perhaps to this day, she still thinks she was fighting against the epitome of the rapist, and she has no guilt about it. ."

Leo fell into deep thought, then nodded and said: "It's a reasonable guess."

"So," the county policeman said, "she's still a lunatic who killed her own son, right?"

Li Biqing did not refute.

"Let's stop here today." Leo stood up and said to the county police, "You can detain her first. There are many suspicious points in this case, and we will continue to investigate."

The county police shrugged disapprovingly: "We are also waiting for the results of the search team. If no other bodies are found, we don't need to trouble the FBI for this case. We can solve it ourselves."

"Of course." Leo said in a routine tone.

Before leaving the interrogation room, Li Biqing glanced back at the woman on the metal chair. Her gray-blue eyes were like a barren thorny ground, but her bruised fingers twitched slightly, as if weaving a certain neurotic rhythm. He stopped for a closer look, then suddenly said, "Can you untie the handcuffs?"

"What?" The county police frowned, "This doesn't meet the regulations!"

"Just for a few seconds, I want to see what her subconscious is directing her body, what on earth she wants to do."

Leo stared at the county police, his stern look as if saying, "Do as he said." The latter seemed unable to withstand the strength and coercion in his eyes, and compromised and took out the key, stepped forward to open the handcuffs, and pressed his other hand on the handle of the gun vigilantly.

Even if the handcuffs were taken off, Bellely did not respond, but the unfettered fingers could make the movements in her brain more freely-they were entangled one by one according to a certain pattern, mechanically and patiently. Li Biqing walked to her, and after looking at it for a long time, he suddenly realized: "She is braiding her hair!"

He gestured to the position of her hand, which was about the height of a ten-year-old child, "... She was combing Renee's hair. She didn't know that her daughter was dead. Although someone had told her, This information cannot enter her brain. She braided the daughter in her memory, and I think Renee is standing in front of her in her eyes now."

The county police looked at the emptiness of Belle Li's men and couldn't help but fight a cold war. The topic of ghosts was always creepy, even though no one had seen it with his own eyes.

"She loves her daughter in the only way she can," Li Biqing asked him, "Do you still think she is the murderer of Renee?"

The county police looked away and snorted coldly: "Who knows, maybe she didn't know that she killed Renee at all, just like the six-month-old baby was drowned. The mental illness was attacked but the six relatives did not recognize it."

Li Biqing walked out of the interrogation room without saying a word.

They left the police station and drove back to the hotel. The boy didn't say a word along the way. After entering the room, the federal agent stood still in front of him, showing seriousness in his posture and expression: "Let's talk, what you haven't said before, I want to listen, I'm listening."

Li Biqing was silent for a moment and asked in a low voice: "Why? If a person is physically sick, or has a broken hand or blind, people will sympathize with him and help him, but if he is mentally sick, he will only be rejected and rejected. Abandon? I don’t understand, Leo. People will wash their hands over and over again to make sure that the gas is turned off, they will think about one thing over and over again, and they will even lose sleep. They will be depressed and mad because of loss of love, dismissal, loss of election... Actually, there are many people. There are more or less psychological problems and emotional disorders, but the difference lies in the degree of severity." He grabbed the black-haired agent's arm a little excitedly, "If that's the case, why can't you understand and tolerate mental illnesses more?"

Leo felt that the place he was holding on his arm was almost burning, "I know what you mean... Thank you, Bi Qing, in fact, those who are not as bad as you imagined to me, anxiety, depression Like, you know, it’s hard, but it’s not unbearable."

"I don't want to spy on your privacy, Leo, I'm just worried, very worried." The Chinese boy raised his clear tan eyes to look at him, his expression full of worry and pleading: "I want to know what caused those , I want to know what happened to you... Maybe you don't plan to tell anyone, maybe I can't help you even if I know it-but I just can't ignore it."

"You don't need to worry about this, this is my own question." Leo replied blankly.

"But I feel bad." Li Biqing let go and took a step back and sat sadly on the edge of the bed. "As long as I think of the look in your eyes at that time, I feel breathless... I even suspect that if you held a gun in your hand, you would not Will pull the trigger at the temple... This shouldn’t be the case!" He clenched his fists, his knuckles were white, "Leo, you are the best policeman I have ever seen. You are brave, upright, and principled. You hate and despise evil, but you are so soft towards kindness. When you run to hunt down criminals, you are like a luminous celestial body... You should not bear those shadows and pressures. No matter what they come from, I believe that it is not you. 'S fault!"

It was as if the ice of the extremely cold place had cracked, and the broken emotions spread out, and Leo's bloodless lips trembled. He took a step forward, took the boy's head, and stuck it between his chest and abdomen-that part, if it were a beast, should be the most vulnerable and most defensive key, but now it has been completely opened for him. "... No, it was my fault! Bi Qing, I am not as good as you described, far from... I betrayed my faith and committed an unforgivable crime. Although no one knows, I know that I can I deceive everyone, but I can’t fool myself... and I can’t fool you... ”

"Criminal? No, Leo, I don't believe you, you are not like that..."

"I don’t even know what kind of person I am! Punishing rape and eliminating evil? Yes, that’s my profession and my belief. I always believe that if there are fewer bad people in this world, there will be more good people. I didn’t expect that one day, what I did would also be classified as a bad guy..."

"Leo!" Li Biqing hugged the federal agent who was beginning to choke, suddenly a little flustered—he had never seen him gaffes to the point of crying, and even when the disease broke out, he still stood by the last line of defense with dignity. . "Okay, let's not talk about this, can we change the subject..."

"No, I know I can't escape it forever. One day, I will say it to someone, or to God." The black-haired agent lifted the boy's face from his arms, obviously looking down at the angle. However, he felt that he was looking up, his eyes gleaming with decisive water. "Do you believe that there are resurrected ghosts in this world? Someone died, but many years later, she stood in front of you again, with the same face, the same voice, even, the same name..."

"No, I know I can't escape it forever. One day, I will say it to someone, or to God." The black-haired agent lifted the boy's face from his arms, obviously looking down at the angle. However, he felt that he was looking up, his eyes gleaming with decisive water. "Do you believe that there are resurrected ghosts in this world? Someone died, but many years later, she stood in front of you again, with the same face, the same voice, even, the same name..."

Li Biqing shook his head: "I don't believe in those illusory things, I only believe in what I see with my own eyes."

"But I saw it. She was right in front of me, wearing a white dress, her long curly hair as thick as seaweed, and her light blue eyes. Everything matched, but she had died long ago! Five years ago , I fired it myself! The blood stained her dress red, her arms stretched out towards me before she died, her mouth opened, as if she was shouting the last "help"..."

"You said'she'... is that little girl? Bellerie's five-year-old daughter, Debi?"

"That's the name! Debi, I will never forget this name in death!" Leo's eyes were in a trance, as if he had cast his focus on another unknown space, where all the painful memories were stored. "Five years ago, I hunted down. The serial murderer caught her and held her as a hostage in front of him. I know that you can’t shoot in that situation. It’s not in compliance with the regulations, but... he is a cruel pervert! A vicious devil! If you let him If she was kidnapped and run away, he would rape her, torture her, chop her body into small pieces, put it in a box and send it to the police. He didn't care if she was five or fifty years old! So I shot her, and the hit rate was not good. Halfway through... She kept crying and struggling in front of his chest, and the bullet penetrated her carotid artery, crushing my luck! At that moment, I felt like crazy and shot all the bullets in the magazine. Enter the body of the fugitive..."

"That's not your fault! Leo!" Li Biqing tightly grasped his hands on his face, tears filled his eyes, "It was just an accident. In that case, you can only shoot, otherwise you are right. As far as she is concerned, the end will be even more tragic..."

The black-haired agent shook his head painfully: "No, the root of the problem is not here. What happened later is the worst... Do you know what I did? I erased the fingerprints from my gun and stuffed it into the fugitive's hand. , And then forged the entire scene, making everything look like he took my shot and killed her, and then was shot by me. I was calm as a demon when I arranged all this! I know the police will believe me, and the forensic doctors will not. Check carefully, because I am a member of the law enforcement, and preconceived notions will make them stand on my side. Until now, when I think of myself at the time, I will tremble with anger and fear—"

As if unable to bear the weight of guilt, his body slipped weakly along the edge of the bed, buried his face in the boy’s thigh, and his voice was vaguely like a babble in a nightmare: "I don’t even know why I did it... in order to escape Legal sanctions and moral condemnation? I don’t want to ruin my future for an unintentional mistake. I believe that my life value is far from being reflected, so I desperately to eradicate evil and maintain justice... The outer skin of the law enforcer is the soul of a dark and rotten criminal inside! Even if I can deceive the whole world, I can't deceive the ghost who died unjustly, so she appears in my dream every night, every night, and repeats it again and again. At that terrible moment, then he accused and accused me of my guilt with stiff blue eyes—"The agent finally fell silent, and let out a long, beast-like sob.

Li Biqing leaned over to hug him, using the greatest strength he could, with his cheeks pressed against the back of his head, his chestnut hair and black hair blended together like two cross-necked swans. He knew that at this time, all the words of comfort seemed to be overshadowed, and only direct and warm physical contact could make the other person feel needed and held back. His hand stroking the agent’s broad back vigorously, again and again, until the other party gradually calmed down his excitement, and then whispered in his ear: "Leo, I can see your soul. It is beautiful and very beautiful… "

The federal agent clutched his waist tightly, his whole muscles seemed to be pulled together, "...is this another sympathetic comfort?" He uttered hard in his arms.

"No, you don't need any sympathy, Leo, you are stronger and better than anyone else." The boy put his arm around his head, resting his chin on the messy black hair, "You made the right choice. , If the person being held hostage was me, I would rather be shot to heaven by you than I would fall into hell with a bitter hatred of a pervert after experiencing extreme pain! As for the rest, then It's instinct, Leo. All animals instinctively seek advantages and avoid disadvantages, and let the situation develop as best as possible, even humans are no exception. From a rational point of view, since things have happened, even if you put yourself on the bench It doesn’t help, but it’s a huge waste. Think about it, Leo. In the next five years, how many criminals have you arrested and how many lives have you saved? If you surrendered, were fired, or entered In prison, all the people saved by you over the years will die!" Li Biqing's tone was clear and calm, and with a final word, he hit Leo’s weakness: he could not tolerate the death of innocent people. , Has always been the case.

"Compared with the prison, I stay here and I will be more helpful to others-do you think so?" Leo raised his face and looked at him as if he was dead.

"No doubt." The boy supported his head and looked straight into his eyes sincerely. "People need you, Leo, many people, including today's poor mother and her five-year-old daughter. They are. You need to catch the real murderer so that the ghosts wandering at the bottom of the lake can rest in peace."

"I will catch him," the black-haired agent said firmly.

"I will help you." Li Biqing said, "As for Daibi, don't think about it so much. It's just a coincidence. If you can't face her now, I can come out alone. Although she is still young, maybe she can Ask her for any clues related to the murderer."

Leo was silent for a moment, and seemed to have made up his mind with great courage: "No, I can face her. I must face her."

Li Biqing seemed to be truly relieved and smiled: "Then, let's go together tomorrow. No matter what happens, I will be by your side."

Leo stood up slowly, feeling that the cold fingertips had warmed up, making him reluctant to remove his hand from the Chinese boy. "Tonight-can you just sleep next to me?" he asked awkwardly, and at the same time found that there was no ambiguity or embarrassment in his tone, like a wolf begging another to huddle together at night to keep warm.

"Good." Li Biqing answered naturally.