Chi Nuan went to Yuncheng No. 1 Middle School for an internship in the second semester of her senior year. The high school teacher qualification certificate has been successfully obtained, and He Liwen, who had all kinds of regrets at the beginning, also joked that she and Chi Nuan will soon become official colleagues.
It was Chi Nuan's plan to be admitted to Yuncheng No. 1 Middle School, if that didn't happen.
That day was an important day for Chi Nuan—the graduation defense.
Before it was her turn, she stood in the corridor outside the classroom drinking water, thinking of Chi Qingchuan, and called him: "Brother, I will defend today."
Chi Qingchuan said, "Then come on."
Chi Nuan heard the dense sound of raindrops on the other end of the phone, and she asked Chi Qingchuan, "Is it raining in Yuncheng?"
Chi Qingchuan: "Yeah, it's quite big."
Chi Nuan: "Brother, take Xiao Wutong out to play this summer, will you have a vacation?"
Chi Qingchuan: "Okay, you can decide the itinerary, let me know in advance so I can talk to Mr. Ji."
A classmate came over to remind Chi Nuan to prepare for the defense. Chi Nuan responded and said to Chi Qingchuan, "Brother, I'm going to prepare for the defense. If I can't go back this week, there is still something to do at school. Help me tell Xiao Wutong."
"Okay, I'll give you some more fuel for Xiao Wutong."
Chi Nuan hung up the phone, she didn't know at that time, this was the last phone call Chi Qingchuan left in the world.
At four or five o'clock in the afternoon, Chi Nuan was packing the reference books in her bedroom and received a call from the police asking her to claim her body.
It was raining heavily, and Chi Qingchuan was rear-ended by a truck on the expressway from Yuncheng to L City.
He is going to L City to pick up Xiao Wutong. Yue Yun's boyfriend's business trip ended early, and it was inconvenient for Xiao Wutong to stay there. Yue Yun urged him repeatedly, so he had to set off in the heavy rain.
Chi Nuan didn't know how she got to the funeral home. Throughout the summer of that year, she couldn't feel any color, and everything she saw was gray and foggy.
Fortunately, Mr. Ji has handled Chi Qingchuan's funeral in an orderly and proper manner.
During the farewell ceremony, Xiao Wutong kept sticking to the glass cover of the coffin, staring at Chi Qingchuan inside, and asked Chi Nuan, "Why can't Dad get up?"
He still couldn't understand the meaning of "death" very well. After the funeral, he cried a few times with Chi Nuan, then turned his head and asked, "Aunt, mom, where is dad? I haven't seen him for many days, and he really won't come back. Do you? I miss him."
Chi Nuan just cried.
After Chi Qingchuan's accident, Yue Yun sent Xiao Wutong back. Two months later, on Xiao Wutong's birthday, she reappeared.
Yue Yun and Chi Nuan talked on the phone in advance, saying that they were coming, and Chi Nuan asked Mr. Ji to pick up Xiao Wutong for a long time.
Yue Yun entered the door cautiously, and put the birthday present she brought to Xiao Wutong on the coffee table. Seeing Chi Nuan, who had become a bone in a short period of time, she asked, "Is Xiao Wutong not here?"
"Well." Chi Nuan said.
"I know you hate me in your heart." The familiar furnishings and the black and white photo of Chi Qingchuan made Yue Yun bow her head. She wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes with a tissue: "If I knew something would happen, I wouldn't let your brother come to pick up Xiao Wutong anyway."
The two sat opposite each other, Chi Nuan's eyes were empty: "Yes, I hate you. So why are you here today? Are you going to take Xiao Wutong away?"
Yue Yun didn't expect her to be so direct, and she was embarrassed for a moment: "... I also want to take Xiao Wutong with me. But I have a problem, I'm getting married soon... But don't worry, I will pay Xiao Wutong alimony on a regular basis. You will never be treated badly.”
Hearing this, Chi Nuan opened her swollen eyes and smiled bitterly: "Xiao Wutong just went to kindergarten, have you ever thought about my difficulties? How am I going to raise him alone? You are his mother, you Don't you think you're too selfish to say this? Just pursue your own life, how many days have you taken care of him over the years? How much love have you given him?"
Yue Yun's face was red and white when she said it, and she forced herself to defend herself: "I won't take back custody because of your consideration. Except for Xiao Wutong, you have no other relatives. If I take him away too Now, you're alone, and there's no one to talk to at home."
Chi Nuan hugged her knees and buried her face in her legs. She didn't want to look at Yue Yun's face again: "Go away, I don't want to see you again."
Yue Yun knew that she would be making fun of herself if she stayed any longer, so she made this special trip today to make it clear what she should say. Before going out, she turned back: "You are right, I am indeed a selfish person. Not only did I fail to fulfill my responsibilities as a mother, but I also indirectly killed your brother. You should hate me too. ... But Chi Nuan, Your brother has been taking care of you alone since he was 16 years old. He has done all kinds of dirty work. If you really love your brother, treat Xiao Wutong well."
Every word is like a knife in the heart.
After Yue Yun left, Chi Nuan kept holding her knees. She hadn't been able to sleep for a long time, and her spirit was always in a trance. At this time, she closed her eyes and didn't know whether she fell asleep or not. When she was conscious again, Mr. Ji and Xiao Wutong came back.
Xiao Wutong held the cake in her hand and leaned towards Chi Nuan eagerly: "Auntie, let's come and make a wish. Uncle Ji said that birthday wishes will come true."
Mr. Ji opened the cake box. On his fifth birthday, he took out five candles and inserted them on the cake. Xiao Wutong snapped his fingers and was suddenly happy: "Five! Can you make five wishes?"
Mr. Ji said, "Well, there are 5 small parasol trees."
Xiao Wutong immediately looked at the candle bag: "Can't you use them all? You can make a lot of wishes... I'm afraid that I made too few wishes, and my father didn't hear it."
Mr. Ji's hand couldn't help shaking when he lit the fire. He took out all the candles: "Xiao Wutong, can Uncle Ji borrow a candle from you to make a wish?"
"Okay." Xiao Wutong agreed readily, watching all the candles one by one inserted on the cake, he turned to Chi Nuan: "Auntie, Xiao Wutong also lends you one."
Chi Nuan propped her forehead and watched Mr. Ji light the candle.
She used to believe in making a wish, whether she was facing a wishing card or a Kongming lantern, she was pious.
Now I know it's all fake.
At the riverside that year, Gu Ningzi took her to put the Kongming lantern, and she made two wishes in her heart.
She hopes that her brother can be healthy and live a long life; she hopes that every day in the future will be like the moment when the Kongming lantern is set off, and she will be excited and happy.
Backfired.
Chi Nuan used to think that being separated from Gu Ningzi was the cruelest thing she had ever experienced, but fate was obviously not satisfied with this, and was still testing her bottom line. She couldn't accept that the brother who brought her up and was more conscientious than all her parents left her forever.
…
After eating some cake, Chi Nuan cheered up and made dinner for Xiao Wutong. It was time for Mr. Ji to leave. He quietly left a file bag on the dining table.
Chi Nuan discovered it later, opened it, and found two insurance policies inside.
The time to insure was four years ago, before and after Chi Qingchuan's divorce. The insured is Mr. Ji, and the names of Chi Nuan and Xiao Wutong are written on the positions of the beneficiaries.
Chi Nuan was taken aback by the amount of the dividend, and immediately contacted Mr. Ji. Mr. Ji said: "During that time, Qingchuan was very confused, I know he was under a lot of mental pressure, and he was most concerned about you and Xiao Wutong, for fear that he would not be able to take care of himself. Good for you. I bought the insurance without telling him. Now that he is gone, I will show it to you, and don't worry about him being unhappy. "
"I may not be able to do everything, Nuan Nuan, if you are in trouble, remember to speak to me."
"Cheer up, your brother definitely doesn't want you to be so depressed all the time."
Chi Nuan looked at Chi Qingchuan in the photo, Chi Qingchuan smiled slightly, with a softer expression.
Brother, for so many years, for me and Xiao Wutong, you are also very tired, aren't you? How bitter you are in your heart, but you have never confided a single star to me. You are always so positive and optimistic in front of me.
Chi Nuan supported the edge of the table with strength, and suddenly heard Xiao Wutong crying in the room. She immediately wiped away her tears and walked to the room: "Xiao Wutong, don't cry, don't cry, what's wrong?"
Xiao Wutong sat cross-legged on the floor, tears like beads all smashed into the puzzle: "Aunt Mom, I'm too stupid, Dad has taught me many times, but I still can't spell it... woo... I miss Dad, today is me Birthday, Dad didn't come back... Aunt, Mom, is Dad never coming back...? They say Dad is dead, and when he's dead, he'll never come back."
Chi Nuan supported the wall and stood for a while before stepping forward to hug the crying Xiao Wutong and said in a trembling voice, "Your father is not dead, Xiao Wutong, do you hear? He lives in our hearts, but there is no way to get along with him. Let's meet. Someday, when everyone forgets him, he will really die. Xiao Wutong, answer your aunt, will you forget your father?"
Xiao Wutong shook his head desperately.
Chi Nuan: "Neither can I, so you see, your father will always be alive, in our hearts."
…
Because of Chi Qingchuan's death, Chi Nuan missed the recruitment exam of No. 1 Middle School. Knowing what was going on, He Liwen was more anxious than anyone else. Seeing that No. 1 Middle School was temporarily unable to get in, she gave Chi Nuan some advice: "The private primary school jointly run by No. 1 Middle School and the consortium is still recruiting teachers, you can try it there first? If you can come back in the future, you can also gain teaching experience in teaching elementary school. The most important thing is that elementary school is easier than high school, so you should spend more energy on Xiao Wutong in the past few years.”
Chi Nuan's obsession is only in the first middle school. If he can't go to the first middle school, it makes no difference where he goes. It is not impossible to teach in the elementary school temporarily. But the next year, No. 1 Middle School raised its recruitment requirements, and Chi Nuan was blocked from the school gate of No. 1 Middle School by her undergraduate degree.
The night when I saw the recruitment information, after Xiao Wutong fell asleep, Chi Nuan opened a bottle of wine to drink.
As soon as the wine entered his throat, tears were poured out.
Missed is missed, one is, Gu Ningzi... Maybe too.
Today, five years later, Chi Nuan, who suffered from fate's repeated tricks, is finally willing to believe that what Secretary Su said back then, Gu Ningzi would not come back, probably not really.
Tomorrow never came, and every day she lived in reality was a moment of suffering.
——But she still has to live every day as hard and positive as her brother has always conveyed to her.