[Rupa].
Shen Xu was very fierce on the bed, he ripped off Sven's mask during the day, and his movements became more and more reckless. The forearms he supported on my sides were tense, showing a strong arc, he wrapped me in his arms and pressed me His lips kissed me, and he called out my name.
Desire, joy, and reluctance, my whole body was on fire, and my nerves snapped, and I couldn't tell which emotion was stronger.
The steps went all the way up, and the stone carvings flashed like fragments, hooking the lead of lust, and it didn't stop for a moment. I think we are a natural pair, Shen Xu and I, we are as inseparable as the tenon-and-mortise structure. He studied geography, I studied architecture, our wrists are very stable, not only can we draw arbitrary drawings on paper As simple as a long curved line.
Good match.
"Shen Xu, you lied to me, you lied to me for so long." I wrapped my arms around his sweaty neck and pulled him close to me, "I don't reply to the messages I sent you... Are you kidding me? You just want to be cold. At me, and then it appeared with a 'smack', giving me a surprise, if you want to express your desire, you should suppress it first, right?"
He leaned on my chest and panted, his fingers wandering along the waistline, I hated his silence, "You talk, look at me, Shen Xu, look at me."
"Well." Shen Xu raised his eyes, he had just experienced two violent events, his eyelids were wet, "It's my fault."
"It's not good for you again, your apology is so casual." I turned my face to the side and closed my eyes, "Is it so fun to lie to me?"
"I didn't mean to lie to you." Shen Xu's low voice sounded in his ears, still cautious, "It's just... I don't know how to love you, it's too close, I'm afraid you will think I'm noisy; too far, I'm afraid of you My feelings for me have faded, and I can't remember me anymore."
I touched his chest and pressed it, "Just use it here."
"Xiaojin, am I a failure?" Shen Xu wrapped my hands around me, "Always worrying about gains and losses, always being nervous, blindly digging into the horns, and finally exhausting myself and getting nothing... I am the only one. People often think, if only I could go back to the old days, the days with you are purely just the two of us... Xiaojin, do you know that the days of college were the happiest times for me ."
Shen Xu rolled his eyes, he was still so good-looking when he smiled, but also so sad, as if there were two completely different people living in his body, "You know I love you... do you?"
"I know." I nodded vigorously, "I know."
He leaned over and kissed me, "Then I'll be happy."
"You are so cruel, you didn't say so many things sooner, leaving me alone to guess and guess, I'm going crazy." I complained to him, "What did you think when you got on the airport bus? Cherish words like gold. It's like you don't really know me."
Shen Xu looked at me and blinked, "I'm looking forward to... You still remember me."
The annoying drum sound appeared again, and I had a hunch that it would be useless to continue to ask, so I said, "That's why I'm too stupid to break my head somewhere."
"That's right, you only like me when you break your head." Shen Xu hooked the corners of his mouth.
"I'm happy." I raised the bar with him, "I'll like you no matter what you become."
I do love him from start to finish, even in those gloomy days, even though Shen Xu... is a person who is often confusing.
The college entrance examination for students is over, and more than 50 volunteer forms have been filled out under his guidance. Our respected gardener Shen is still working non-stop.
I woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night and found that he was not by my side. I opened the door and saw him working at a desk at the dining table again.
I stood at the door of the room and watched him quietly for a while, Shen Xu held a pen, bent his back, and was writing something with his head down.
His shadow under the light is a very lonely shape.
Shen Xu wrote so smoothly, so without thinking, I must have typed the draft many times in my mind, I thought to myself.
"Mr. Shen." I approached him quietly, "Are you still writing lesson plans?"
He closed the notebook almost at the same time, "Yeah."
"It's very late, let's go to bed." I squeezed his shoulder, "I can prepare for classes and school."
"Wait a moment, okay?" Shen Xu lowered his head, the lamp was yellow, the table was brown, the wall was off-white, and his outline was a color that no light could penetrate.
I rubbed my eyebrows, "Can't you sleep?"
"Um."
"We'll be flying to New Delhi the day after tomorrow." I bowed around him and sniffed the scent on his neck, "What should I do before I start packing?"
Shen Xu slowly turned to look at the suitcase.
"If you can't sleep, do me a favor?" I forced a smile, "Let's pack together!"
The busy teacher Shen finally got up and rolled up his shirts silently and carefully. I liked that he was responsive to my needs, but I felt something was wrong. The only trace of vitality in him seemed to be gone forever. returned.
"Shen Xu, you will never leave me, right?"
This sentence, I asked the previous Shen Xu, and also asked the current Shen Xu.
Today, I begin to understand his unreasonable strength and vulnerability, understand his indifference and taciturn, but I always can't understand, never say goodbye, how difficult it is.
He looked at me as if he had a thousand words to say, but he twisted around his mouth and took it back to condense it into a few words, "As long as you want."
Alas, should I say he is selfless or selfish
"Shen Xu, how long have we been in India?" I closed my eyes.
"Six days."
"Tomorrow is the seventh day."
"Go and see Shiva." Shen Xu's cold knuckles slid across my cheek, "Promise you, Rishikesh, let's go together."
I suddenly felt a panic. The closer I got to seeing Shiva, the more uneasy I became. The anticipation gradually turned into fear. I found myself resisting this. It seemed to mean more things that I couldn't bear.
"...I don't want to see it anymore." I looked at him nervously, "Can we not go? Shen Xu, we will stay in Calcutta."
"Shen Xu, we won't go to see it."
"Don't go, okay?"
His eyes dimmed, he lowered his head, and silently gave me a wet and long kiss. I was not reconciled, I held his face and kissed him back, asking him over and over again, begging him, and wanting him to be with me I stayed in Calcutta, but Shen Xu quickly caught my tongue and made me unable to pronounce a single syllable.
We were entangled again, the one between the legs had a tendency to look up, Shen Xu kissed all the way, licking my Adam's apple, I stretched my waist and struggled, put my hands on his chest, Shen Xu simply grabbed me His hands were fixed on the top of his head, panting, staring at me motionless.
"Why don't you want to go?"
"There will be a lot of people looking at Shiva and crowding around." I was confused by the desire to toss, "I'm afraid I won't be able to catch you."
Shen Xu smiled, "I'm afraid I'll get lost."
"I'm afraid of myself... I'll never find you again."
"If I really disappear." Shen Xu said seriously, "Xiaojin, don't look for me, don't come to India to look for me."
"Oh, then I'm not looking for you..." I raised my head to look for Shen Xu's lips, the bed was soft, and his body was cold, a temperature that I couldn't keep warm.
Forget it, it doesn't matter, tonight, let's kiss again and have another love.
There is no other way to think.