He didn't realize what he said until he said it. Looking at Wen Ying's incredible eyes, his jaw line suddenly tightened.
"Or tell me, why did you find him?"
"Why should I tell you?" Wen Ying hugged the thing in her hand, as if erecting a wall between the two, full of resistance, "What else do you do other than maliciously speculate on others, you must take those words Attack me? Will it make you feel better?"
"No." He flatly denied, staring at her, "What about you? If you rejected me that night, I wouldn't stand here and say one more word of nonsense to you."
He didn't want to question her, but her nonchalant attitude made him involuntarily pay attention and care, and at the same time, he was seeking but not suffering. It was like a fallen leaf floating in his heart, spinning and trembling non-stop. He didn't know where to fall, should he let her go, let go of himself, or like this, having a sweet moment with her, when he thought the two of them could get back together. In the past, I was once again woken up by the slap in the face of reality.
He saw that Sakura didn't speak, as if he had made the final choice, his heart twitched, and he said in a deep voice: "What's so good about that little bastard? Don't be confused. If I'm not suitable, he's better than me." It's not suitable, and it will destroy you."
Gong Xuan checked him, and of course he also checked Gong Xuan. The other party's family was fairly well-to-do. His grandfather saved his family business from scratch, but unfortunately passed away when he was in his forties. His father failed to inherit his grandfather's merits and abilities, perhaps because The previous generation worked too hard. His father only learned to sit and eat. He failed the college entrance examination, made friends with people in the society, drank alcohol, domestic violence, and gambled. Under his influence, Gong Xuan was tired of studying since he was a child, and fighting in junior high school was already commonplace.
Although Gong Xuan's mother is still alive, her mother's family conditions are not good, so she can't speak. He inherited his mother's excellent looks, and he is very attractive to girls who have begun to sprout in puberty.
Perhaps Wen Ying was also included.
Shan Yao knew that he shouldn't be biased. It's not that the other party has no advantages, it's probably inherited from another generation. Gong Xuan is smarter than his father. There is really no way to say in good conscience that this is a good choice.
"Don't speculate and judge others at will!" She said angrily, "You think he is not as good as you, but he is a thousand times better than you in my eyes! Yes, he is not as good as you in studying, not as good as your family background, But so what, I know he doesn't want to be like this at all. No one wants to be born in that kind of family, doesn't he want to be like you, have the best resources and receive the best education? But this is Can he choose?!" She bit her lower lip hard, her eyes were sad and fierce, "Me too, when I became another self, did I do it voluntarily? Don't look down on him. You may not be as good as him in that environment!"
"He's different from you—" Shan Yao's heart trembled slightly because of her gaze, and he frowned, "Okay, even if we are all the same, I'm not as good as him if I switch identities with him, but that's just a hypothesis, yes Nothing happened. Going back to the most realistic question, he is still Gong Xuan who grew up in that environment, right?"
He tried to make himself calm and reason with her, and he didn't want to look too aggressive when he was judging another person.
Under such circumstances, she said abruptly: "Shan Yao, do you know why I want to run away from you again and again?"
"… Why?"
Her gaze made him chill, "You are always so practical, always so rational, last week you asked me if I thought about being with you again, I don't even have to say no, as long as you have thought about it countless times in your mind Take out the reasons, break them up one by one and ask you, you let go of your hand. So every time, when I can't help but get close to you, I will immediately remind myself that I don't want to be abandoned by you again. "
He gasps for breath.
"You asked me why I went to him, and I'll tell you now, I went to him just to make it clear to him. Yes, I still like you, even if sometimes I think you are a bastard, a scum, It was the person who stabbed me hard in the heart when I was covered with scars, but once you show a gentle look, pet me and protect me, and are willing to clean up the troubles I left behind, I can't help it Think, you're the best in the world, I wouldn't trade with anyone."
Hearing her confession, Shan Yao gradually felt that he was going to be unable to breathe, as if soaking in warm water and slowly sinking.
"But I don't want to go on like this anymore—" Her eyes were full of boredom, fixed on his angular face, "If you can't firmly tell me 'yes', don't disturb my life. I I won't call you brother on purpose to make you angry, I'm not your sister at all, and you're not my brother, you don't have the right to control me."
"If you ever had that right, it was only because I liked you."
After Wen Ying finished all the words, she stopped looking at him and walked out with the food box.
But Shan Yao didn't stop her, he silently took out the cigarette case from his pocket, lit a cigarette on his fingertips, seemingly calm. However, he tried to ignite the lighter several times, but his hand slipped and failed. After finally lighting the cigarette butt, the slightly trembling flame of the lighter revealed his inner unrest.
This is not a corner where no one will pass by, and he may be seen at any time. Normally, he would never do such a dangerous thing, let himself be the topic of those people, and let the one who has almost no shortcomings Top students become students with bad habits. But today he seems to have forgotten, he has forgotten all these habits that he could not get rid of since he was a child.
He watched her leaving back.
It was exactly the same as what he saw when she turned around and went upstairs that day. If she still hesitated that day and stopped in the middle of the pace, today there is only determination left. That kind of decisiveness seemed to tell him that there would never be a third time in this life.
fair enough.
He rationally thought that he should have stayed away from her a long time ago. She said that she didn't want her to be ruined by Gong Xuan. He couldn't restrain his worry because he almost ruined her once. He couldn't help being afraid, if she gave up on herself, and he didn't find out what kind of pain she was going through in time, and couldn't help her, what would happen to her
He didn't want to see Wen Ying like that again.
It's fine for them to separate like this. He will go on step by step according to the plan he made, and she will have her own life. They can live well without having to meet each other, and maybe they will live better.
Shan Yao looked sideways, and put the cigarette into his mouth. When he was about to inhale, he realized that his hand had been trembling unconsciously since just now. After taking a sip, the smoking skills have been carved into the bones. People who are skilled and can't be more skilled will be choked by the light smoke!
He coughed violently.
Such violent coughing even forced his tears. He watched her fading figure in a blur of light. In an instant, his reason seemed to be squeezed into the narrowest corner by uncontrollable emotions. In the middle of the day, he suddenly dropped the long, half-burned tobacco stem, strode forward to chase her, and grabbed her by the shoulder.
"Fuck it," he said.
She was caught off guard by him, and when she heard the swear words that were almost unbelievably spit out from his mouth, she looked at him in a daze, "... what?"
"Fuck it." Shan Yao uttered a foul word very clearly, put his hands on her, and looked at her face to face, "I don't accept, I don't accept every word you just said. Didn't you want Answer? Well, I will answer you now."
"Now?!"
Wen Ying glanced around subconsciously. They were originally talking in a remote corner, but she had already walked to the front of the main building just now, and students came out of the teaching building one after another. She ordered fried dishes from the cafeteria in advance, and Shan Yao came out earlier than lunch time in order to block her, but now it was just at lunch time, and the students gathered together in twos and threes to chat, which could be seen everywhere.
"That's right." He seemed to rush to her on an impulse, but naturally there was another him, watching all this calmly, and found out all the questions she had asked in an orderly manner, "I I used to alienate you because of family factors. You asked me if I would still be affected by it and succumb to reality. No, I checked the information in this area and found a relatively feasible solution. As long as it can be solved, it will Not a problem anymore."
"You still asked me, the third year of high school is the most important stage in life, would I be willing to let this relationship be exposed in school—"
She picked it up unconsciously, "Can you bear this pressure?"
"This kind of pressure is a fart." There was a frivolous contempt in his eyes, as if the unknown pride had been hidden behind the respectful mask of the top student until now, "Even if I didn't pass the exam So what? The college entrance examination is not a turning point in my life. Even if I stumble here, my life will not become dark. The exam is created for those who follow the steps. I have the ability, what can I do? "He The more you answer, the smoother you are, and all the hesitation, hesitation, and struggle in the past have been left behind.
She asked the third question, "Then—can you stand those people pointing at you?"
The more people try their best to be perfect, the less they can accept others' excessive comments on him. They paint their own glamorous face, and they will never allow others to leave a little stain on it.
However, Shan Yao smiled when he heard it. This is a smile that Wen Ying has almost never seen, as if he has completely relaxed himself, and he will only show this expression for a moment when he is smoking. She was still waiting for his answer, but in the next second, she was suddenly embraced by his outstretched arms and threw herself into his arms.
Immediately, a warm breath approached, and she was pecked lightly on her lips.
Countless gasps sounded all around in an instant!
The movement downstairs alarmed the people upstairs. In the entire teaching building, people on every floor kept sticking their heads out of the railing to look down, and opened their eyes wide in surprise at the scene they saw. Accompany people to come and watch. Rows of onlookers made the scene even more spectacular.
"Wow!"
Loud applause came from upstairs, and some boys whistled again and again.